


The Price of a Broken Heart

by MrsEdwardCullenP



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 02:31:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 163,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsEdwardCullenP/pseuds/MrsEdwardCullenP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>12 years without a word. It took so little for her to leave me. And now... of all the hospital rooms in the whole country, why did she have to walk into mine? "Get the f- out of here," I spat. AH, Canon pairings. M for language and maybe sex. R&R</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

 

 

 

**Prologue**

**  
**

 

 

"Can I come in?" she asked, looking nervously at me. I opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing her to enter the house.

"You have a nice home, Edward," she said.

"Did you come here to appraise the way I decorated my apartment?" I asked as I poured more scotch in my glass.

"You are still taking medica…"

"Oh, save it Bella! Why the fuck are you here? I have more important things to do," I snapped.

"To talk," she said, and looked out the window.

Talk? About what? How she spent the money my family gave her?

"There is nothing to talk about. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl hook up. Girl breaks boy's heart and leaves. What is there left to say? Let me answer the question. Nothing," I said coldly.

She lowered her head and nodded. "I'm sorry Edward."

I lost it. "After twelve fucking years, all you have to say is 'I'm sorry Edward'?" I spat, making her flinch.

"Pl..."

"You broke me to fucking pieces! You threw away our life, our dreams, and all you say is sorry?" I yelled as I saw the tears brimming in her eyes.

What was she trying to accomplish? Why did she come here? To remind me of the money she willingly took from my family? How she sold our love for the bargain price of $30,000?

I could feel my chest heaving from anger and pain. Wasn't I enough for her? Wasn't my love strong enough?

"You've changed," she whispered after a while.

"The man you see now is your creation," I said, inhaling deeply as I turned my back on her. "There is nothing you can do to take away what you've done," I finished. I barely heard the door closing behind me.

As I heard the car pull out of the driveway, I smashed my glass against the wall. I wanted to cause damage. Why did she come here? Did she hope that by blinking a few faked tears away, I would open my arms to her? Did she want more money? What?

I sank down on the couch and held my face in my hands. Memories flooded my head, increasing my pain.

" _Edward?" she mumbled as she snuggled on my chest._

" _Yes, sweetheart?"_

" _Thank you," she said and looked at me._

" _What on earth are you thanking me for?" I chuckled._

" _For loving me," she said._

I quickly shook off the memory. It had been months since I last thought about our past. I wouldn't allow myself to go back to the weak person I was when she left me… a wreck.

"Damn you, Bella Swan!" I growled. "Damn you and your fucking lies!"

 

 

 


	2. With a Little Help from my Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is an original plot along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

  


"Cullen!" Marcus roared as he saw me entering the station.

"Yes, Sarge?" I said mechanically.

"In my office. Now!"

I rolled my eyes at his tone. Fucker!

"What is it, Marcus?"

"For the love of God, Edward! Why the fuck did you beat the shit out of that kid? You were supposed to arrest him, bring him down, and write a goddamned report, and _not_ take him for a visit to the hospital!"

"He attacked me. I had to protect myself," I said smugly. He shook his head knowing he wasn't getting anywhere.

Marcus and I met after I graduated from Chicago's Police Academy. He was my partner for almost two years before he became a detective. Marcus had been like a brother to me. He knew me as well as Emmett did, my twin. Marcus was the one who used to drag my ass out of the bars I used to go to when I tried to drink myself into oblivion. He was the one who managed to somewhat bring me back to life when all I was doing was destroying myself.

"Edward, please. This has to stop. This behavior of yours… We're not partners anymore, nor am I a detective. I'm your sergeant and I'm supposed to discipline you. This has been going on for ten years and I'm tired. I had to lie to the Captain again," he sighed.

I sank down on the chair and hid my face in my hands. "I'm not gonna change just to make the Captain happy, Marcus. I'm not changing. Period. It's who I am."

"No Edward, it's not who you are. I know everything about you. Ever since sh…"

"Shut it, Marcus," I hissed. "You don't know shit! Why don't you just hand me my punishment so I can get the fuck out of here and get back to work?"

He narrowed his eyes and stood. "Okay. Either you take a leave of absence to pull yourself together or you'll patrol at the Memorial Park."

"Patrol the park?" I asked angrily and stood.

"Yes Edward, patrol. That's what you get. You could have chosen a different path. Had you been more dedicated, you would have been a Fed by now."

"Don't talk to me about dedication! I've worked ten fucking years of my life in this shithole and never once have I complained. Instead of giving me something solid to work with, you assign me to patrol a fucking park, _sir_?" I growled.

"Watch your mouth, Cullen. I won't tolerate this behavior. 14:00. Ping Tom Memorial Park. You're dismissed."

I left the fucking office because if I stayed any longer I would have punched him out. Asshole! There wasn't a man in there more dedicated than me. I'd been shot, stabbed, hit by a motherfucking car while on pursuit and I never once thought of quitting. Other officers had but not me. Did he forget when he had Emmett come pick me up when I'd been stabbed? I may be fucked up but I am damn good at what I do.

I slammed the door to my truck and sped out of the parking lot. I needed a drink so much but I knew that I couldn't. I had to patrol at the goddamned park. I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply until I felt my lungs burning from the smoke. I turned on the radio and AC/DC's 'Back in Black' filled the car.

'That's what I'm talking about!" I exclaimed, turning the volume to maximum.

My life was all about excess: smoking, drinking and sex were all that kept me going. Yes, I had my brother, my friends and my work but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. The void she left in me couldn't be filled; she'd broken me beyond repair. I would never be able to love again. I would never be able to have a family of my own because the only person I could picture it with was with her.

She was gone and for that I hated her to no end.

She didn't even have the guts to tell me goodbye. She left without a word, without a simple note. It was as if the three years of our relationship never happened. I would never be able to forget the triumphant faces of my father and my now deceased grandfather. Even though they feigned sorrow, I just knew how satisfied they were since their 'predictions' about her motives were correct all along.

Emmett and I were five years old when Carlisle and Esme adopted us. It was a very fast process. The one minute, we were being treated in the hospital and the next one; they took us to our new home. Having abusive parents and witnessing your mother being murdered weren't the best things that could happen in a child's life. Of the two of us, I sustained more injuries than Emmett because I never fought back. The nightmares were the worst part, though. For weeks, I would wake up screaming my lungs out. My adoptive parents decided that therapy was the next step for us - well, me mostly. I can't be precise about the time, but after many sessions I managed to sleep more peacefully. I didn't have any friends. I was pretty shy, minded my own business and attended piano lessons. Even though Emmett was the most popular jock in high school, I never felt the need to be included in his friendship circles.

The nightmares suddenly returned when I was fifteen. Two days before the start of my sophomore year, I woke up in a cold sweat. At first we thought the new school year was making me nervous. It wasn't until the first day that I realized why. Emmett was always the first to rush to me. He tried to calm me down, telling me that it was just a dream… but I knew differently. Each night I relived the past, watching myself standing in the corner of a dark room, witnessing him beating us with his belt. I pleaded with him not to hurt Emmett but he ended up doing it anyway before he made his way to me.

The day school started, news that the Chief of Police's daughter was attending Forks High spread like wildfire. It was the only thing that you heard in the corridors. What would she look like, was she a party animal, did she have any sense of fashion? No one thought what kind of music she liked, what books she read, which was her favorite color. Simple questions that would allow one to get to know a person and yet so stupid according to them.

I sighed to myself as I remembered the incident when Mike Newton and the fuckers he had for a gang came up to me.

" _Yo Cullen!" he_ _hollered and rushed at me. I groaned as I knew what was about to happen and my heart started beating faster._

_I kept my gaze on the book I was currently reading. "Hey, chicken shit! He's talking to ya!" Tyler said angrily and snatched the book from my hands. "Oh, what do we have here?" he said and turned to look at the title of the book. "Rose Madder?" he asked and furrowed his eye brows._

" _I know that book. My mom was reading it a couple of months ago, crying her blessed heart out," Eric laughed. "It's totally a chick book."_

_Chick book? It's about a woman who was abused, you moron!_

_I reached out to grab the book from Tyler's hands as I felt my face flush. "Please give me my book back," I whispered._

" _What was that?" Mike asked. "Did someone talk?" he finished as the others started chuckling._

" _Man up, Cullen," Tyler said and pushed me on the shoulder roughly, making me wince. "Oh, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry," he laughed._

" _Please give me my book back," I said a bit louder._

" _Or what? Are you gonna tell your big oaf of a brother?"_

" _No. I just want my book back."_

" _You're no fun," he growled as the book made contact with my face._

" _Ow!" I cried, as I felt a small crack on my nose._

" _Hey!" I heard a girl yell._

" _Look what we have here," Mike said. I peered through my teary eyes and saw a petite girl standing in front of him._

" _That was mean! He wasn't doing anything. You should be ashamed of yourself!"_

" _Should I now? I don't know who you are midget, but no one fucks with me! You better be nice to me if you don't want to become the school's whore!"_

_She gasped as he grabbed her. My vision was clearer now and I could see her face. She was beautiful. Her brown wide eyes and her long brown hair made such a contrast against her pale skin. She pushed her glasses closer to her eyes and narrowed them at him._

" _Boy, I suggest you let go of my hand, unless you would like to meet my right hook. My father made sure that I know how to punch someone since he's the_ Chief of Police _," she said ,clenching her fist at her side._

_Mike instantly let her go._ Wow!

_Within seconds everyone disappeared apart from Mike who kept glaring at her. "You just buried yourself!"_

_When_ _he was gone, she let out a shaky breath and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Oh God! Not again," she cried. When her gaze met mine, I was lost…_

We began as friends. We fit together. We were treated like we had the plague unless Emmett was around. Every single time she heard Mike greeting us, she would turn her gaze and roll her eyes. When she wasn't around I would be shoved, pushed, and tripped, but when she was with me, no one would pay attention to us… and I was glad for it.

"Hope you're enjoying yourself in the joint, fucker!" I chuckled to myself as the song came to an end. Mike ended up going to prison after he robbed a bank. Who the fuck goes in a bank holding a fake gun, pissed drunk?

I was brought back from my thoughts as my phone started ringing. "Cullen," I said as I picked up.

"Where the hell are you, Edward?" Rosalie yelled.

"What's got you so worked up at nine in the morning, Rosalie?"

"What's got me so worked up is that my best friend and soon to be brother-in-law has been ignoring my phone calls for the past week!" she growled.

I met Rosalie when I was first stationed with the Chicago PD. My car died in the middle of the road and I called the first mechanic I found in the yellow pages. Imagine my shock when I realized that she was the mechanic and not a clerk. She may be a sneaky bitch sometimes but she never hovers.

"I've been busy," I replied.

"Hanging over at Hooters, ogling Tanya's new boob job?"

"Fuck you. Now tell me why the fuck you called," I half snapped.

"The parts for your car arrived, fuck you very much. Bring the monster over and take my car so you can move around while I work on him," she said.

"I'll be over soon," I said and ended the call.

Thirty minutes later, I parked outside the garage. When she saw my face, she smirked. "Who killed your cat?"

"Marcus," I growled. "I have to patrol a fucking park for God knows how many days!"

"What did you do?"

"I beat the shit out of a punk. He kicked me in the shin," I said and she started laughing.

"What's the damage this time?"

"Three broken ribs and a few bruises."

She shook her head and handed me her car keys. "Hurt Bettie and I will have your balls for breakfast, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," I said and left.

As I was stuck in traffic, I looked at my watch and saw that it was 10:30 am. I wanted a drink, I was angry and I was horny as hell. So I did what I usually do at times like these: I called up one of my old 'friends' to relieve the tension. Truthfully, I'd be doing everyone a favor. The bitch I chose was bound to have one of the best fucks of her life and I'd be able to focus on the job and not my raging hard on.

She answered after two rings. _"Well hello there."_

"Are you free?" I asked, not feeling the need to know anything else.

" _Hello_ _, Tanya,"_ she mocked. _"How are you?"_

"Cut the bullshit," I muttered. "I'm having a bad day!"

" _Feeling tense?"_ she giggled.

"Why would I call you if I wasn't?"

" _Right,"_ she sighed. _"Your place or mine?"_

"Yours. I'll be there in twenty minutes," I said and shut the phone.

I drove like a bat running out of hell. If I wanted to have a somewhat peaceful shift, this was necessary. I knew I was acting like an asshole to her, but she knew the deal: just sex, no attachments, no hearts and shit. Before this whole thing started, I let her know about my 'rules' and she was more than okay with it. She wasn't into that shit either at that time, but the past couple of months she'd been changing. However, I didn't want to bring it up and so far neither did Tan.

Soon I found myself outside her house. I got out, took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

"Come in," she shouted from somewhere in the house.

I stepped inside and it was pitch black. A soft light was coming from a slightly open door. I locked the door behind me and headed to her room as I started unbuttoning my shirt. I was in a bit of a hurry you see…

I opened the bedroom door and found Tanya spread wide open on her bed, smirking as she touched her pussy. "Your time is clearly limited and I thought that it would be wise to save sometime from foreplay."

Within seconds, I was kneeling naked between her legs and pinching her nipple roughly. "You are such a cocktease, you little slut," I said and moved so I could spin her around. "Let me teach you a lesson..."

**-Ж-**

I light up a cigarette and inhaled deeply, closing my eyes briefly. Tanya came out of the bathroom, and lay on her side facing me.

"Work problems again?" she asked with a smile.

"You could say that," I replied bluntly.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Edward, at some point you'll need to talk with someone. You know you can trust me. Many people think of me as a brainless slut but I'm good at listening. It might help you know," she said and placed her hand on my thigh.

"Are you going Dr. Phil on me?"

She giggled. "No, you silly man. I'm just trying to penetrate that thick head of yours. I've known you for four years Edward and you don't _live_. All you do is work, drink, fuck: repeat."

"Shut the fuck up, Tanya," I growled as I got up and started getting dressed.

"You need to start living again. You can start by finding yourself a woman."

So this is where she was fucking heading with it…

"I don't do relationships. You've known that since day one and you agreed to that Tanya."

"A girl can always dream, Edward."

"With the right person only… And I am not," I said and left without saying goodbye.


	3. Patrol

For years, I thought that I could pull myself together; I wanted it mostly for Emmett and Mom. I knew that I was the black spot in their minds, and how much they tried to hide their concern for the path I chose. I didn't give a shit about Carlisle though. He stopped being my father the day he decided to cross the line: the day I'd confessed to him my intentions toward her and the life we had planned.

As the years passed, I realized that my anger was misplaced. He was able to see her true colors when I hadn't and all he'd done was point them out to me.

_She's after your money, Edward. Bella wants to be a doctor, no? Well, imagine how the 'Cullen' legacy would be a great asset to her career…_ **_  
_ ** **  
**

Who would actually believe that her sweet, angelic appearance was all a ruse… that was nothing more than a lying, manipulative gold-digger? I gave her every last piece of me, never holding anything back for myself. I loved her like no one ever would and she did this to me. How could she? She knew that my trust fund was enough to support us for two lifetimes, if not more. The only 'obstacle'- if someone could call it that- was that I wouldn't be able to redeem the money until I was thirty. I snorted at the thought. Why bother to stick around when she got the amount she wanted without having to wait twelve years?

" _Edward, I need to tell you something," my father said_ _, following right behind my grandfather._

" _What do you want?" I snapped._

" _I have been telling you for months that this girl isn't the one for you."_

" _If you're going to tell me about what an opportunist Bella is, then save it. I know who she is!"_

" _You don't," grandfather said. "We just came from your father's practice. We asked her to come there so we could see her intentions. Your father, boy, offered her $5,000 and…"_

" _What?" I yelled. "How could you? You have no right to interfere in my life!" I yelled, fisting my hands at my sides._

" _She said that if we wanted to pay her to leave you alone, we would have to try harder," he said and smiled devilishly. "She wouldn't accept less than $30,000," he finished._

_The air left my lungs and I started hyperventilating. No, she wouldn't do that. My Bella would never do such thing. "I don't believe you," I growled, ready to pounce on him. Emmett burst into the office and restrained me. "You're a liar! You never accepted her. You never saw her as anything but a poor abomination! Money isn't everything! Money can't rule love and devotion."_

" _I know you don't believe me. Why don't you go to her house and ask her yourself? Maybe she hasn't left yet," my father mocked. "We would never lie about something like that."_

_I left the house without second thought. Little did I know that I was minutes away from discovering a truth I never wanted to believe…_

"Fuck!" I said as I heard the phone ring and looked the ID. "Hello."

" _How are you, son?"_ Esme asked.

"I'm fine. Just got out of the shower," I lied. "I'm working in an hour."

" _Please don't forget your vest, sweetheart. You've been hurt too many times,_ " she said. Her blatant concern made me roll my eyes.

"Ma, we've been through this. The vest can't protect my whole body. All it takes is a bullet in the center of my thigh or my h…"

" _Edward,_ " she cried. " _I wouldn't survive it. I've almost lost you God knows how many times. Please don't talk like that._ "

"Like what?" I said angrily.

" _Like you've given up on life,_ " she sobbed. " _I don't recognize you anymore. You barely visit or call. I miss you!_ "

I sighed loudly. The last time I went back to Forks was for Emmett's engagement party almost two years ago. "Ma, my life is in Chicago now. You can always come here if you want. There is a guest room with your name on it."

" _You know that between the charity work and managing the shelter, getting away is not easy for me,_ " she said more calmly.

"I know."

" _I talked to Emmett yesterday,_ " she began. Suddenly, she was interrupted by Carlisle's arrival. " _I have Edward on the phone. Do you want to talk to him?_ " I heard the phone change hands on the other end.

" _Hello Edward,_ " he said smoothly. " _How's the job?_ "

"Good."

" _You know this is a fine opportunity to talk to you about something. The lawyer called me yesterday,_ " he said and cleared his throat.

"So?" I said, irritated that he was headed there once again.

" _He said there hadn't been any activity with your trust fu…_ "

I cut him off before he had the chance to finish. "I am gonna say this one last time and you'd better tattoo it on your old brain permanently. I do not want your fucking money!" I growled. "I have a job that pays me enough to pay my bills and my food!"

" _Edward, be reasonable!_ " he said angrily.

"I am! I told you thousand of times. I do not want it," I snapped.

" _For Christ's sake, Edward! I know your financial status pretty well. This is your money, your future!_ "

I started laughing. My future? This fucking trust fund destroyed my fucking future. "Carlisle, I swear to fucking God, call me one more time to tell me about the trust fund and I will go cash it all out, hop on the first plane to New York and throw it all from the Empire State building!"

" _You're crazy,_ " he said and hung up.

Was I crazy? Maybe but I didn't give a flying fuck. I lived perfectly with the fifty-five grand a year. Why would I need more? Besides if I ever needed money, Emmett was always willing to help me. I decided to call Jenks and make myself clearer to Carlisle. He would definitely get the picture.

I showered and dressed quickly. I needed to stop at the station before I started patrolling the damn park. I got in the car, groaning with the knowledge that I couldn't do anything about my assignment. The station wasn't far from my place so it took me less than fifteen minutes to arrive. As I entered, Victoria launched herself at me.

"Edward, we need to talk now," she said quickly and as low as possible. "It's about Adriani."

James Alfonso Adriani was a motherfucker I had my eye on for quite sometime now. He was a low life piece of shit, a drug dealer who fucked up a lot of lives.

"Vic, I can't now. I have to patrol. Leave a copy of whatever you have in my locker and 'll get it when I'm off," I whispered and she nodded. I had been so close to getting him the past three months but somehow the son of a bitch would always slip away.

I grabbed the keys to the cruiser and I made my way to Marcus's office. I was about to knock when I heard Emmett's voice.

"Don't I know it, Mark? The other night I was looking for a paper and I came across a group photo from back in Forks. Had you seen…"

I nearly ripped the door off. "What the fuck, Emmett?" I growled only to stop instantly as I looked into my brother's blue eyes. He was so sad and exhausted.

"Nice to see you too, twin," he smiled sadly.

I glared at Marcus. "Did you call him?"

"A. Close the fucking door and B. Yes I did. Is there a problem with that, officer? Can't I call a friend of mine to check how he's doing?"

I shut the door with force and took a deep breath. Both of them knew how it pissed me off when they talked behind my back.

"What are you doing here, Emmett?" I said, ignoring Marcus.

"If Mohammed won't come to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohammed," he said and wrapped his arm around my neck. "Rosie told me you stopped by the workshop. I missed you little brother."

"I've been busy," I said and stepped out of his embrace.

"So I've heard," he replied and gave me smile. "You know, since you're about to spend the next eight hours walking around a p…" he started and stopped for a few seconds to laugh with my pissed off expression. "Chill out, little brother," he chuckled.

"Fuck off, Em. You're like a minute older than me."

"Still, older. So I was thinking I'd hang with you for a couple of hours and catch up, unless that's a problem?" he asked, looking at Marcus.

"Only if you promise to talk some sense into that pigheaded asshole over there," he said pointing at me. "Now Edward, if you'll excuse us, I need to discuss something with Emmett. Lucy's having back pains," he said smugly. This was his way of telling me 'Get the fuck out of my office so I can gossip like a fucking chick with your brother.'

"Don't even think for a fucking second that I believe that bullshit about Lucy! Whenever you are done with this shit come and find me. Bring coffee and a pack of cigarettes," I said to Emmett as I left the office. I grabbed the keys to the cruiser, making sure I didn't forget anything else on my way out.

It really pissed me off that they wouldn't just let me be. They would never verbalize their thoughts, but I knew what they wanted to say just by looking at them.

_Get yourself back together…_

_Stop acting like an asshole…_

_What's done is done. Move along…_

What they couldn't grasp was that I liked myself. I had made my peace and wanted nothing else. The very first thing I did for myself after _she_ left was refuse the trust fund. I didn't want that money. It was tainted by her memory and her lies. Why would I ever be wanted for who I was: a dorky kid with glasses, no experience, no power to stand up for myself. People never paid attention to me. They thought of me only as the sweet and kind little boy from the next door, the one who would always stop his car in the middle of the road to help the old lady struggling to cross the road with the battered cane.

Sometimes I can't help but think that maybe it was supposed to happen like this. Maybe she had to leave me the way she did so I'd wake up and become the man I am now: independent, strong, damn good at what I do, and enjoying the basic pleasures of life. My routine is simple: work, drink and fuck. What the hell is wrong with that? Just because I don't want to have a relationship doesn't mean I don't live, right? I just do it on my terms.

I'll admit that there have been times when I wondered how my- no, how _our_ lives would have been had she not left me. We probably would have married young. Would we have a kid or two, running after Sunny-as she once imagined it- our Golden Retriever? What specialty would she have chosen? Would I have gotten in with the Feds? Would Carlisle have accepted her? So many things…

One thing I would never, _never_ forgive her of doing, was fooling me. Every time I wanted to buy her something, like a simple can of soda, she would complain. She'd tell me that she was more than capable of buying a soda. She'd chastise me when I planned a romantic picnic for us at the place I first saw her: at the wood entrance behind our school. She found it cheesy, very expensive and she said that she'd be happy with just a plain peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I just wanted to show her my love, how protected I felt, how much her presence helped me through my nightmares, how peaceful I was. I was just a naïve, motherfucker who had fallen in love with a girl- a girl who had methodically used me for her grand plan: suck me dry to the bone. Why would she appreciate the simple things I wanted to give her when she had her eyes on the humongous trust fund that waited patiently for me?

Before she realized why I had trust issues, Rosalie asked me why it was so hard to let someone in. Why I couldn't trust anyone? My answer was easy: trust is like a mirror…once it's broken, you can never look at it the same way again. That was the day, almost nine years ago, that she found out about my life. Ever since then, Rose has had my back. She's very protective of me, but not in a way that would push away every person who wanted to socialize with me. She never mentioned Bel… _her_ because she knew, unlike some others.

I parked the cruiser at the opposite side of the park's entrance and got out. It was the end of September and still so damn hot. I just wanted winter to come so I could feel the cold in my bones. I sighed, put on my shades, checked my Sig and started walking toward the park.

As expected, there was nothing there apart from a couple dog walkers who playing with the dogs. "Great," I muttered. What would happen in a park that was out in the open anyway? It was somewhat peaceful. The only sounds to be heard were from a few passing cars and a few barking dogs.

"Chase," I heard a woman yell as she ran in my direction. One of the dogs approached me and started barking playfully at me.

"I am so sorry," the girl said. "He's so uncontrollable sometimes. He never obeys!" she exclaimed as she put the leash back on the dog's collar.

"No need to worry, ma'am," I said and tried to smile. God, I hated being a cop on days like this. "He's a very beautiful dog," I continued and scratched him behind his ear.

"Yeah, he is," she responded with a smile. "I'm Emma," she said, blushing and stretched her hand to me. It was only then that I saw her eyes… They were almost like hers, deep brown and full of expression. Fuck!

"Nice to meet you, Emma. I'm afraid I'm not allowed to socialize while I'm on duty," I said in a professional tone, making her frown.

"Okay, officer," she said. "Have a nice day."

I knew I was an asshole; I mean, it wouldn't hurt to tell her my name. Her eyes just took me by surprise. There was a reason I never fucked or socialized with brunettes and brown-eyed women. They were a reminder of her and I wanted to forget. There were times when weeks would pass without thinking of her but those times were rare and so very welcomed. Some might wonder why I never recovered from her abandonment. When you think of a person as your own heart and soul, clinging to them for dear life, then it is isn't easy. She used to be the reason I woke up in the morning happy, she was the reason I wanted to change for the better, to come out of my shell. She betrayed me in the worse way possible. I would have forgiven her for anything, _anything,_ but not this. She promised me that she would never…

"Edward!" Emmett yelled in my ear.

"Fuck! Jesus, Emmett, I could have shot you! Do _not_ fucking do that," I said angrily as I ran my hand across my forehead.

"Sorry, but I called you three times and you were far gone. Where were you?"

"Carlisle," I lied easily. "I talked to him when Ma called and our brief chat ended in a fight."

"The fund again?" he asked. I nodded.

"He doesn't get it, Em. For the past twelve years, I've stated that I do not want the money. I do not need the money. I never did, you know that. I'm perfectly fine with the ridiculous –according to him- salary I get per year."

He sighed. "I know. He's just looking out for you."

I chuckled. "No he's not. He's just pissed that he can't use the money since I don't. Well, he's in for a big surprise tomorrow," I said.

"What did you do?" he asked, furrowing his eye brows.

"Well, let's just say that Ma's bank account will be getting bigger," I laughed. "Carlisle will have no say and _only_ she will be able to use the money as she sees fit."

He stood there gaping like a fish. "You transferred fifty million to mom's account?" I nodded. "And he is going to find out tomorrow?" Nod again. "The day of the annual dance?"

"Yes."

"Well fuck!" he laughed. "You are crazy!"

"I am not. You've known the real reason behind my decision since day one. That fund fucked me up for good," I snapped.

"Easy now! I'm the good guy here, remember?"

I needed to change the subject. "So what's new?"

"When was the last time you spoke with Texas?" he asked, referring to Jasper by his nickname.

"Five day ago, I think. He was preparing for a big trial. Why?"

"I think that he finally found his match," he laughed.

"How come?"

He started telling me about the new District Attorney. Apparently Ms. Brandon was the town's new ferocious litigator. She ended up crushing Jasper in court even though his client was innocent, and he was beyond pissed.

"Man, you should have heard him. He called her a bitch to her face. Can you believe that?" he chuckled. I rolled my eyes, lit a cigarette and took a sip of my coffee.

"I think I'll call him later so we can go for a beer. You in?" I asked.

"Sorry, I'm on call the next three days. St. Joseph's hospital is short-staffed, so some of us were transferred there for a couple of months. Why don't you hang around at my place instead and watch a movie or something?"

"Okay," I agreed.

He was about to say something when his beeper went off. "Crap. Bro, I need to go. What time are you off?"

"Ten," I said.

"Ten-thirty at my place. Rosie will make tacos and I'll call Texas. Gotta go," he said hurriedly and left.

I chuckled when Emmett tripped on his way to his car. He was the best brother a person could have. He always tried to protect and be there for me when I needed him, whether it was from a small fall or when I was bullied. I was glad he found Rosalie. They were the perfect match and everyone envied them. When Em needed to be brought back down to earth, she was the one who would do it. When she needed someone to cry on when she was about to lose her garage, he was the one who helped without even knowing it. He gave me the money to give them to her because she felt more comfortable taking it from me than Emmett. Rosalie never liked the fact that we were financially affluent, unlike some others.

I checked the time and I saw that it was already six. Sometimes time passes by so fast without realizing it. People started gathering- runners, children playing soccer. The looks their faces held were the ones of contentment, joy.

"Mommy! Mommy! There. Let's sit under this tree," I heard a little girl call to her mother.

"Okay darling," she laughed.

The little girl was beautiful. She had light blond hair and bright blue eyes. She looked at my direction and waved at me. "Hello, Mr. Officer."

"Evening, little lady," I smiled at her patting lightly the front of my service hat. She started giggling and hid behind her mother.

"She is quite shy," her mother said.

I kneeled next to her. "What's your name?"

"I am Princess Jenna," she said and readjusted her pink tiara on her head. "Yours?"

"I'm Edward and I am happy to make your acquaintance, my fair Lady," I responded. "May I ask how old you are?"

"I am five," she said sticking five tiny fingers in my face. "Yesterday I had my birthday and Mommy promised that if I was a good girl, she would bring me here and read my favorite book," she beamed. "And I was!"

"Good for you honey. Did you get a lot of presents?"

"Uh huh! But today is my best present of all. She will read to me and mommy reads good."

She was so sweet and a little ball of energy. "What will she be reading you?" I asked.

"Barbie of Swan Lake! Will you stay with us?" she yelled happily and suddenly the air left my lungs.

" _Edward! I told you no presents! You're the best present of all," she frowned._

" _I swear that I didn't spend more than six dollars. I got it from the second hand store even though I didn't want to step into that musty place."_

" _Do you swear?" she asked with narrowed eyes._

" _I do," I smiled and kissed the tip of her nose._

_I handed her the book and she opened it without tearing the wrapping. She gasped when she saw it._

" _You got me the Swan Lake?" she said with teary eyes._

" _The copy you have barely keeps the pages together so I thought of getting you another copy. I know how much you love the book."_

" _Oh, Edward. I love you so much!" she said and hugged me tightly._

" _You are my favorite swan. Beautiful and selfless," I whispered against her lips._

" _Swans can't fly but with you by my side, make me wish they could. You are my wings," she sighed._

"Jenna, I think that Mr. Edward is working and can't stay here with us," her mother said kindly.

I shook my head lightly to erase the fucking memory and looked at the woman. 'I'm sorry,' she mouthed. I smiled at her briefly and turned my attention to the little girl.

"I'm afraid your mommy is right, Jenna. I have to watch the park and take away the bad guys. I'm sorry. Maybe another time," I said and left.

That damn memory was the reason I had a tattoo on my left shoulder. Six years ago, I went to a bar and drank too much. I started thinking about her like usual and I thought of that day, almost fourteen years ago, when I gave her the book on her birthday. Although I don't remember doing it, I left the bar, went to a tattoo artist and asked him to tattoo a white swan, with black broken wings. She was the swan and I was the broken wings. She would always be beautiful and I would always be a person with a black soul, full of hate, rage and disappointment.

"Fuck my life!" I growled. I lifted my head to the darkening sky and started talking to whatever there was out there. "Give me a fucking break! Don't you have other people to torture you son of a bitch?" I asked angrily.

I kept making circles around the park and once again time evaporated without realizing it. The buzzing sound of my cell phone distracted me momentarily. I opened it and saw that I had a text message from Emmett: _Am on a break and felt something odd. Is everything okay?_

I replied that I was perfectly fine and that I would see him in an hour at his place. Ever since I could remember, we always had the weird connection twins have. When he was sad, I would sense it and vice versa. I knew when he was thinking about me as he always knew when I was in trouble and would come to rescue me.

"Hey Jack. Look, it's the Crow," a boy muttered in a low tone. I was standing next to a tree and they couldn't see me because it was dark. I looked in the direction they were looking and saw a boy walking. He was at least two years younger than them.

"Why don't we mess with him for a while?" Jack said. "Henry, the duckling is here."

Shit, they were going to bully the kid. They rushed at him and when the kid heard their voice, he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Look who's out of the cage. What happened? Isn't mommy around?" the little fucker said.

The boy just stood, staring at them. "What? Don't you speak today?"

"Go to hell," the boy said in an angry tone and started walking away from them, approaching my direction.

"Do you kiss your _momma_ with that mouth, pigeon? Shame on you! Where is God to punish you and your little 'foul' mouth?" the other little fucker said.

Looking at the kid, I couldn't stop but feel what he felt. I was bullied as a kid and it sucked. Sometimes I wish I was stronger back then to fight back instead of letting them screw with me like they did.

"Looking for your brain!" the boy said smugly. I had to bite my lower lip to prevent my laugh.

"What did you say?" one of them asked angrily and pushed him with his hands.

"Don't touch me," the boy said. "I don't want to hurt you."

Those punks started laughing. "As if you could. What could you possibly do to us? Are you gonna tell your mommy and daddy to come and beat us up?" he mocked and the kid clenched his fist at his side. "Oh, I am sorry. I forgot you don't know who your daddy is!"

The kid dropped the duffle bag he was holding and pushed the punk. "What the hell did you just say?" he yelled.

"In plain English, he called you a bastard," the other one laughed.

With no time to react, the boy lifted his foot and kicked one of them in the chest, making him fall down. Then he punched the other square in the face, breaking his nose and turned to the third one. The fucker made a few steps back and raised his hands.

"You want to mess with me? Go ahead! Do it! I have a black belt. Let's see who'll go down!" the boy yelled.

"N-no," the other stammered.

The other two were up and behind the kid. Unfortunately, he wasn't looking at them so he didn't know. They were about to attack him when I stepped out of my hiding place.

"Is there a problem?" I said sternly, placing my palm on my Sig.

"Fuck," one of them said.

"Tsk! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, kid?" I asked, repeating the same thing he asked earlier.

The jerk with the bleeding nose came to me. "Officer, he attacked us!"

I turned my gaze to the kid only to see him frozen in place, with eyes wide as saucers, his body trembling. He was scared. I turned to the three of them.

"Listen to me, you little shits. I saw what happened, and who started the whole thing. If I ever see you around here, bullying him, I swear that I will be the one to hold you down so he can beat the crap out of you. Got it?" I growled.

"But…"

"Get the fuck out of my sight and I don't want to see your ugly faces again! Get lost!" I yelled at them and they ran.

I took off my hat and ran my fingers through my hair. It was an old habit that often calmed me down. I turned to look at the boy and I swear to God that he was still standing like a statue in the same place. He was around 5'3", thin, with dark hair and blue or green eyes… the lighting in this part of the park wasn't that great, so I couldn't say for sure. What surprised me most was my sense of unease. I never felt like that on any of my encounters.

I took a step toward him and was certain that he would panic any second. "Hey there, kiddo. Are you okay?" I asked. He just stood there staring at me like he had never seen another human being before. "Are you hurt?" I asked. When I lifted my hand to put it on his shoulder, he finally reacted. He quickly stepped back, grabbed his duffle bag and started running…


	4. Things that Scare Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

**A/N:**   
**This chapter contains graphic scenes of abuse. Consider yourselves warned!**

After a week of patrolling on that damn park, I had the day off, thank God. Nothing happened after the incident with that bullied kid. Every now and then my mind would drift to him. He was so scared that night. Did he think that I'd take him to the station? That I would chastise him as well? I couldn't push the feeling away that this kid- whoever he was- was different. His eyes were so penetrating that it made you feel strange: it was intimidating, but in a good way.

It was already past noon, and since I had no intention of going out, I picked up the phone and called Jasper. Ever since the night at Emmett's, Jasper couldn't shut up about that woman. He adorned her with many nouns: midget, knee-high hyena, short-shit. He would never shut up.

" _What?_ " he barked into the phone. I started laughing. " _Shut up and tell me why you called. I'm not in the mood._ "

"What happened?"

" _The dwarf happened._ Ms. Brandon _stopped by because she wanted to piss me off.! What is wrong with her?_ " he growled.

"That is why I never put up with pussy issues. I just fuck and leave. Maybe this is what you should do. Fuck her out of your system," I said.

" _Well, not all of us are assholes like you! I wasn't raised to act like that._ "

"Man, you're letting her get under your skin. Not good! She will fuck you up. Mark my words."

" _Edward, not all women are the same. Had you given any of those girls you've been_ using _all these years a chance, you might have realized that._ "

"You know what Texas? Fuck you. I'm not the perfect guy like you or Emmett and frankly I don't want to be. I'm done with being the good boy. Say whatever you want but nothing will change. We've had this discussion many times. This is me: take it or leave it," I snapped and shut the phone.

I lit a cigarette, went to the balcony and lay on my wooden recliner. The sky was cloudy and it was so relaxing. Other people wanted sun. I wanted dark skies and rain: it calmed me. I put out the cigarette, drank the last sip of my beer and closed my eyes, enjoying the peaceful moment…

_It was dark and I couldn't see anything. The only thing I could feel was the throbbing pain on my cheeks and Emmett's hand around my shoulder._

" _I'_ _m here, Eddie. Once he goes to sleep, we'll go to our room," Emmett said._

_Our mother's screams filled the house. We didn't have other houses near ours, so there was no way anyone would hear._

" _Shut up you whore," he screamed._

" _F-fuck you! Y-you ruined my l-life!" she screamed through the blows. "I hate you!"_

_A few minutes later,_ _he stopped beating her and the only thing you heard were her sobs. I started shaking because I was wet and it was cold._

" _I'll go and get your blankie. Stay here," Emmett said._

" _No, he'll see you and hit you again," I said and held his hand tightly in mine._

" _I'll hide if I hear him."_

_I got more scared as I watched him walk away_ _. What if he found him? I decided I'd count five times up to twenty and if he didn't come back by then, I would go to him._

" _One, two, three, four, six, umm, n-nine, no, eight, nine, ten."_

" _Lizzie, come out, come out, wherever you are!" he sang._

" _Two, seven, four…" I continued counting._

" _When I'm done with you, your brats are next…"_

" _S-s-six, o-one," I continued and started trembling even more._

" _There you are," he hissed, and I heard a loud bang._

" _Emmett," I whispered but no one was there._

_I stood up with shaky legs and started heading to our room as silently as I could._

_When I was about to pass the living room, I hid behind a big plant and looked around to see if he got Emmett. At that moment, my mother was thrown to the ground. She was bleeding and her face was swollen._

" _Now you'll pay for everything you did to me," dad said as he cut her cheek._

" _Slowly and painfully…" he said, cutting her arm…_

_He continued until her skin was covered with knife marks and only one place remained._ _He placed the knife to her neck and made one last cut…_

" _So long bitch!" he laughed and left her there bleed to death._

" _Emmett!" I screamed._

" _Edward!" I heard him call._

" _Emmett,_ _he's coming for you. Get out," I yelled as I tried to run but held me back._

" _I'_ _m here," he said._

" _Emmett!"_ _I cried._

"Edward! Wake the fuck up!"

I opened my eyes and tried to get up, but someone was holding me down. I looked up and saw Emmett, looking at me, his clouded with worry. My brother had always been there when I had nightmares and most of the times he wouldn't say anything. Only when it was truly awful did he wake me.

After Bella left, I had nightmares but those stopped when I was kicked out of Dartmouth and moved to Chicago so I could be near Emmett. The longest I went without having one was four years. They would sometimes reoccur when I came across a case of abuse or abandonment. While I wouldn't admit it to others, I knew I had abandonment issues… and anger… and a drinking problem, even though I didn't drink myself to oblivion every day anymore.

Emmett got up and his staring switched to glaring. "How long?"

"How long what?" I asked in a hoarse voice, as I got up and headed to the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Cut the bullshit, Edward! I came here to check up on you and I find you screaming your lungs out. How fucking long have you been having nightmares?"

I sighed knowing that if I didn't respond, we'd end up fighting. "The fourth one in a month," I said without looking at him as I cracked open the beer and took a long sip.

"Fuck!" he growled and clenched his hair in his fists. "Why didn't you say anything? You know I would have helped you!"

"I know Emmett and thank you for that, but I don't need any help."

"You need it and you fucking know it!" he roared. "I want to help you but you won't let me in. I know that you suffered and deep down you still do but this has to stop. Can't you see that this isn't you? You're full of anger. You don't eat properly, you barely sleep and when you do you have nightmares. Edward, you have to go into therapy."

I lit a cigarette and looked at him. "I just had a couple of bad days at work, Emmett. 'm fine. Once everything is okay there, I will be as well."

He shook his head and grabbed his keys from the coffee table. "I'm tired of hearing this shit. When you feel the need to seek help, you know where to find me. I just hope it won't be too late," he said, slamming the door on his way out.

I knew he was right. Most people around were right as far as counseling was concerned, but was it worth it? Would it help me get rid of the void, this goddamned emptiness inside me? Maybe it would help me 'tame' my anger but I doubted I'd ever be free. My past would always be with me…

Between my sleeping and Emmett's visit, I didn't realize it was past ten p.m. My stomach growled in protest so I went to get the phone to order a pizza. The light on the answering machine was flashing, so I pressed the button to hear the message. I groaned when I heard Marcus's voice.

" _Edward, I called you on your cell phone and it was off so I tried here. Either you're out or you're ignoring me,_ " he chuckled. " _There's a small change in your shift tomorrow. The Captain informed me that we will host twenty sixth graders from Healy Elementary school. There is some sort of contest where the kids are supposed to write an essay on how they view law enforcement. Half of them will interview the Captain and the other half an officer,_ " he continued. I grimaced. He'd better _not_ havechosen me.

" _Anyway,"_ the message continued, _"I know you hate patrolling and since you'll be there for another month or so, I thought of having you talk to the kids. It will be a… refreshing encounter, don't you think? They'll be here at nine in the morning, and it will last two hours. No formal attire is required. Good night!_ "

"FUCK!" What the hell was I supposed to tell those kids? They needed a detective and not an angry officer. As much as I tried to think of a way of skipping out on this, I knew I'd end up doing it one way or another.

After eating, I decided to have a shower and try to go back to sleep, hoping that it would be dreamless… but sleep never came. Around four a.m., I got up, put on my workout clothes, and went for a run, hoping it would wear me out… but it didn't. Since I now needed to be awake for work, I grabbed a coffee at my neighborhood Starbucks, took a walk and then headed home. I showered and then got dressed to go to the station.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw Victoria getting out of her car and she looked like hell. When she started working here a year ago, she was fresh out of the Academy. She was a strong presence in the department and that alone made her a great asset. Our profession was not for the faint-hearted and she surely wasn't one of them. At times, she was volatile.

"Morning Edward," she said tiredly.

"Hey. Didn't sleep well?" I asked.

"Try not at all," she mumbled. "Family issues."

"Take the day off. Sarge won't have a problem."

"Nah, its okay. Besides I need to follow up on some intel I got on Adriani." That made my ears perk up. "My source told me that he bought a new warehouse near the dock. Caius thinks it'll be the new location to close his deals."

"Fuck Caius. What do you think?" Caius was an asshole. He never cared what his people thought about a case. He only cared about making himself look good so he could rise higher in the department. Victoria was looking at me, contemplating whether she should tell me or not.

"I think it's a decoy. He wants to use the warehouse at some point but for something other than drugs."

As usual, she had a point. Adriani would never do something so stupid. "True. Who was assigned to surveillance?"

"Peter and me," she replied.

"Okay, keep me posted. I have to go. Sarge wants to see me before the kids arrive."

She giggled. "Of all people, he chooses you. Go figure."

I smiled and flipped her off as I made my way in. Knowing I'd need sugar to last through the upcoming torture, I stopped in the kitchen to grab a coffee and get a pack of mini donuts from the vending machine. I ate quickly, then headed toward Marcus's office. His door was open and I could see that he was on the phone. He motioned at me to come in and have a seat.

"Okay, Bob. Make sure you fax me the report," he said and hung up the phone. "Good morning," he smiled.

"Good, morning," I replied, taking a sip of my coffee.

"The children will be here in about half an hour. You'll only have ten. Captain took the rest of them. You'll use the conference room. They'll ask you questions and you reply even if the questions are stupid, okay?" I nodded. "Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

"What?"

"Please, no foul language," he said seriously and I could hear the pleading in his voice.

"Christ, Marcus. I know how to act around kids. You don't have to tell me all the time!" I snapped.

"And there's that temper again."

"That's because you piss me off." I sighed. "Listen I haven't slept all night and I'm not in the mood. I'll wait for them and answer their questions. Show them my gear, give them a tour, and that's it. Anything else?"

"No."

"Should I meet them at the door?"

"No. I'll have someone escort them."

As I left his office, I heard children laughing. I left my mug in the kitchen sink and went to the conference room to wait for them. I took out my gun, checked that the trigger guard was secure, then took out my handcuffs and taser gun. I stood in front of the desk and waited patiently for them to come.

"Now, children," I heard a woman say, "you can ask the officer anything you need to know for your essay. Make sure you take notes."

A middle-aged woman entered the room and greeted me with a wide smile. "Hello. I'm Mrs. Winston." she said, extending her hand toward me.

"Good morning, Ma'am. I'm Officer Cullen," I said, shaking her hand lightly.

"I have the children waiting outside. I wanted to thank you personally in advance for taking the time and effort to help these kids."

"It's my pleasure," I said. "It's good for children to learn the importance of the laws at a young age."

"Okay. Let me get them so we can start."

She motioned to the kids and they entered the room. Once they were seated, I took a good look at them and was surprised by who I found: one of the punks from the park. His nose was patched and he had a black eye. That kid really knew how to throw a punch. When he saw me, his face drained of color. The girls blushed and giggled every time I looked in their direction. I saw a kid wearing a Mariners' jockey hat who intrigued me. His head was down and he somewhat hid behind his teacher.

"Good Morning, children. I'm Officer Cullen," I said. Maybe it was the way I stood. Maybe it was the expression I had on my face. I have no idea why, but none of them replied.

"Children," Mrs. Winston said, "raise your hands and when you are addressed, you can ask your questions. Okay?" No response again. "Come on. Yesterday you were throwing out thousands of questions you wanted to ask him."

A girl raised her hand timidly. "Yes, go ahead," I said.

"Um, how old are you?" she asked and blushed.

"I just turned thirty-one," I smiled at her.

She raised her hand again. "How long have you been a police officer?"

"Ten years."

This time a boy raised his hand. "Do you like being a policeman?"

"I do. It was my dream to become one," I said truthfully.

"Where are you from?" a girl with braids asked.

"From a small town near Seattle."

As the kids asked questions, I had my focus on the little punk. Once he saw me in the room, he never spared me another glance. His head was lowered and every now and then he would give a side look to the boy with the jockey hat. Once he saw me looking at him, he reached into his bag, pulled out his own jockey hat and went to put it on, but his teacher saw him.

"Jack, put that away. I told you no hats," she said sternly.

"Then why does he get to wear it?" he scolded. The other boy stiffened immediately.

"William, take it off, please," she said calmly. He swiftly took it off but he still had his head down. Why wasn't he looking at me?

"You," I said. "Behind your teacher. Do you have a question for me?"

Only then did he raise his head. I stifled a gasp as I saw that it was the boy from the park. He had dark brown hair and green eyes. On the left side of his face, he had a nasty bruise. He lowered his head and looked at the punk. It was as if he was telling me that he was the one who did it.

Little fucker.

"William, right?" I asked to get his attention. He looked at me again and nodded. "Do you have a question?"

He blinked a couple of times before opening his mouth to speak. "Which is…" he hesitated for a second.

"Yes?"

"Um, which is your favorite bird?"

The other children started laughing including the little fucker. "William," his teacher giggled. "You had better questions."

Without knowing why, my heart rate started to increase.

" _Edward?"_

" _Yes, Bella?"_

" _Which is your favorite bird and why?" she smiled brightly._

" _Umm… It's the swan," I said and changed ten different shades of red._

" _Come on," she said shyly, putting a strand of hair behind her ear._

" _No it's the truth," I told her._

" _Why?"_

" _For two reasons: one because they are beautiful creatures and two because it's your last name."_

We were almost sixteen and that was the day of our first kiss. The day I had told her that I didn't want to be just her friend. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I closed my eyes briefly and when I opened them, I saw William looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"The eagle," I lied, feeling guilty instantly. "Because it represents pride and dignity." He nodded and scribbled my answer down on his pad.

"Have you ever used your gun?" a boy asked.

"Yes," I answered without wanting to say too much.

"Have you ever shot someone?" the same boy asked.

"Yes," I answered again, hoping that he wouldn't ask the question I knew it was coming.

"Cool!" he exclaimed. I narrowed my eyes at his excited demeanor.

"Do you think it's cool, kid, to take the life of a fourteen year old?" I asked sternly. "Do you think it's cool that I had to listen to his mother's wails of pain when she found out at the hospital that her only child was dead, as I was being treated for the gun shot wound I had on my forearm that he caused?"

There was dead silence in the room. "I knew that once I became an officer I would have to, at some point, use my gun. I hoped that I would never fire. But I had to. I was inexperienced, fresh out the Academy. I followed the protocol I knew by heart and yet nothing worked. Then he shot me. It was either my life or his. So just to let you know, there is nothing _cool_ about using a gun."

I placed my work hat on the desk and ran my fingers through my hair. "Look," I said to the kid that was looking down at the floor. "You children have to realize that we don't wear a uniform just to play law and order. We have to enforce it. Laws are there for a reason. One of them is to keep you kids safe, so you can grow up and one day be respectful citizens. Acting like a delinquent," I continued and looked at the little punk, "just to be _the_ guy, will bring you nothing but trouble."

Mrs. Winston cleared her throat. "Um, that was enlightening. Thank you, Officer Cullen. Who's next?"

"Can you tell us about handcuffs?"a blond girl asked.

I took them out of my belt and held them in my hand. "Handcuffs are restraining devices designed to secure an individual's wrists close together. They are comprised of two parts, linked together by a chain, a hinge or in the case of rigid cuffs, a bar. Each half has a rotating arm that snaps tightly around a person's wrist. Without a key, the handcuffs can't be removed and so the handcuffed person is unable to move his or her wrists more than a few inches apart, making many tasks difficult or impossible. Would you like me to show you?" I smiled. She giggled and placed her hands behind her back shaking her head.

"It's okay. I think I have a volunteer," I said and made my way to the punk. I snickered inwardly, knowing that he would probably piss himself from fear.

I stood behind him and took his hands in mine. As I placed a cuff on his right hand, I saw that his knuckles were bruised. From his shaky form, I assumed he was the one who punched the William. I looked at him and saw that his gaze was on the punk's hands. He looked at me briefly and I quickly winked at him and smiled. Understanding my meaning, he returned the smile. The way his face brightened brought that goddamned feeling of the unease again.

Securing his hands in the cuffs, I helped him stand up. "Now, Jack," I said. "Would you like to tell your classmates how it feels to be handcuffed? I am sure that they would like to know, don't you kids?" I smiled and folded my hands in front of my chest.

"U-um," he stuttered. "It feels a bit uncomfortable? Sir, can you please take them off?" he asked with a shaky voice.

"I will but only if you answer a question first. Will you ever do anything that will cause you to feel like you feel now as I restrained you?"

He shook his head no. "Good," I said and turned his body around so I could take them off. "Remember that just a single fight, between _friends_ ," I emphasized "can bring you to this state. We will come and take you in."

After the questions were done and our time was nearly over, I decided to show them around. I showed them the offices, our break room, the lockers and the detention center. I am sure that their knowledge of a jail cell only came from TV. The real thing is a different deal.

All kids had formed their own little groups and William was the only loner among them. As they waited for the other kids to finish with Aro, I couldn't help but approach him.

"Hi William," I said.

He looked at me with his bright eyes and smiled. "Hello, officer."

"Did you like it here today?" I asked in a feeble attempt to start a conversation.

"It was okay," he sighed.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"I'll be thirteen in January," he answered.

"Did he do this to you?" I asked and pointed at his bruised face.

He glance in his direction and shrugged. I glared at the punk who was looking at us. "You know that he won't touch you again, after the trick I pulled on him, right?"

"Um, thank you sir," he started, "for helping me that day I mean."

"Why did you run?" I asked him. It still bugged me.

He blushed lightly. "I, um, got scared. I thought you would take me to the police."

Shit! I was the one who scared him. I knew it. "I'm sorry kiddo. I didn't mean to do that."

"It's okay, sir."

"It's Edward to you," I said and winked at him. His face showed nothing but kindness and respect.

"Edward Cullen," he whispered, looking at me and I swear I felt a small tightening in my chest. What the hell was wrong with me?

"So care to tell me about this contest?"

"We have to write an essay about law enforcement. We will have to turn it in before Christmas break so we have about three months to do it. The winner will get a laptop."

"Are you a good student?"

"I had only an A- on my report card when school ended last year. I never liked Math," he shrugged.

"Well, A- is a fucking good grade," I said and flinched immediately.

He smiled. "What?" I asked.

"Sometimes when my mom wakes in the morning and rushes to get ready for work, she hits her toes on the door in her attempt to go to the bathroom. I will always hear the bang and rush to her. She will open her mouth, say Fu- and when she sees me, she will say 'fudge' dragging the u," he smiled.

"Does your dad curse?"

The smile fell from his face instantly. He was about to say something when his teacher called the children to get onto the bus. I felt a bit sad because I really liked talking to that kid. He reminded me of myself in that age. I was closed up as well until she came into my life.

"It was nice talking to you, sir," he said and extended his hand to me. I took it in mine and smiled at him.

"I enjoyed it too, kiddo," I said shaking my hand lightly. "And it's Edward. Okay?"

"Okay… Edward," he said and started walking away. He turned around and smiled one last time before leaving. "See you around."

Suddenly the idea of seeing him again made me feel like the sun breaking in the sky after many days of rain…


	5. A Little Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is an original plot along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

_"_ _Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Way up high,"_

I groaned as I heard the radio. I reached over to my night stand to turn it off with no success.

" _There's a land that I heard of_

_o_ _nce in a lullaby."_

When I tried to reach it a second time, I accidentally knocked it off.

" _Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Skies are blue,_

_And the dreams that you dare to dream_

_Really do come true."_

"Will you shut the fuck up, Judy? Christ!" I whined.

I inhaled deeply and the smell of bacon and eggs flooded my nostrils. I smelled fresh coffee and pancakes as well. Oh man! I was dreaming of food.

" _Someday I'll wish upon a star_

_And wake up where the clouds are far_

_Behind me._

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops_

_Away above the chimney tops_

_That's where you'll find me."_

"Wake up, sweetheart," I heard a familiar sweet voice say.

"Noooo," I groaned and I heard a giggle this time.

What the fuck?

A warm hand started combing my hair.

"You have two seconds to get away," I snarled.

"Or what?" the voice laughed.

"Or when I get you," I growled, "I will kiss the hell out of you!" I rolled over and within seconds I pulled her into my arms and filled her beautiful face with kisses.

"Edward, stop," she laughed.

"I missed you, Ma," I said, hugging her tightly.

Esme had been more than a mother to me. She was my friend, my confidant, my teacher, my piano tutor. She was probably the only woman that I still treated with respect. As I looked in her shining eyes, I felt nothing but love for the woman who took my brother and me in when we were thrown away by our own parents. How could I not love this woman for everything she had given me?

"I missed you too, my precious son," she said, kissing my forehead sweetly. "Come, I made you breakfast." She got up and grabbed my hand. "You're so thin. Haven't you been eating?" she chastised.

"I'll be right back," I said as I kissed her soundly and turned to go to the bathroom.

It had been almost two years since I last saw her. She was busy with her activities just as I was busy with work… and other things. Recently I'd started going to the park two hours before my shift just to see if I could run into William. At my request, I'd been given the night shift for the past couple of weeks. I needed the extra money but I also wanted to see him again. I wanted to know him and he promised that I would see him around. I knew that it was a promise from him to me: his eyes told me. However, he never showed up.

As I was heading to the kitchen, I heard sniffling. "Mom?" I said as I rushed to her. I hated seeing her cry.

"I'm okay honey. I banged my knee on the table," she smiled. She was lying.

I was on alert immediately. "Ma, don't lie to me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing dear," she said as she stood to pour some coffee in our mugs.

"Either you tell me or I'm calling for back-up." I said. She hated when I threatened to call Emmett. When both of us were with her, she was putty in our hands.

"It's nothing, baby. I just missed you so much. It's a mother's right to miss her children and run to them when she wants to be near them."

I started counting. "One…"

"Edward," she sighed.

"Two," I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I had a fight with your father, okay?" she snapped before she burst into tears.

I stood and gently grabbed her forearm to pull her to me. When she winced, I froze as the realization instantly hit me. I narrowed my eyes and released her arm.

"I swear to fucking God if you do not take off your jacket right now, I am gonna rip it off you," I growled.

"Edward, it's nothing," she sighed, wiping her tears.

"Take it off. NOW!" I snapped.

"It's not bad. It's just a small bruise," she said and I saw red. "We were fighting and when I went to leave for the airport, he grabbed me. He didn't mean to hurt me. He was just desperate," she said calmly.

Without thinking twice, I marched into the living room and grabbed the phone.

"Edward, don't," she pleaded.

Before she finished that thought, he'd already picked up the phone. " _Hel-_ "

"Listen to me you son of a bitch! If you ever, I mean _ever_ , lay a finger on her again, I am going to cut off your fucking hand and shove it up your ass!" I roared. "Be grateful that I'm across the country right now!"

" _Edward,_ " he sighed sadly.

"Fuck you!" I hissed and shut the phone.

I reached for my cigarettes and with shaky hands tried to light one, but the damn lighter wasn't working. "Fuck!" I yelled and threw the damn thing on the couch.

"Here," she said, handing me another lighter.

I lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. My whole body was shaking with anger. I had been through this once already and there was no fucking way I would go through it again. I grabbed the phone again and I called my brother.

" _You'd better have a g-_ "

"Shut the fuck up, Em, and get here now!" I hissed.

" _What's wrong?_ " he said.

"Ma is here," I said and looked at her. She pleaded me with her eyes not to tell him. "And she brought a present with her from our dear _father_ ," I spat. Her eyes filled with tears again.

" _Shit. What did he do?_ " he asked. He was getting irritated. He knew I would never act like this in front of her for no reason.

"He bruised her," I said and she hid her face in her hands. The only thing I heard was the phone being shut.

I had no idea how Emmett managed to get here so fast. Using his own set of keys, he burst into the house and shut the door so hard the hinges groaned in protest. Mom was curled up in my arms crying silently. She had a good fucking idea what abuse meant to us, what it did to us.

"Ma?" he asked, kneeling before us.

"Hello, baby bear," she smiled as she used his childhood nickname.

"Aw, Ma," he sighed. She threw herself in his arms, still holding my hand tightly in hers, crying her eyes out. I felt my eyes burn and a new wave of anger swept over me.

"That motherfucker," I growled and got up from the couch. "How many times?" I asked angrily.

"Edward," she whispered.

"How many times has he laid his filthy hands on you, Ma?" I asked again.

"That was the first time," she said. I could see that she was sincere about it. "He didn't mean it, boys. I was angry and said things to him- hurtful things. He was a bit tipsy so…"

Emmett stood and started pacing around the living room. "Ma, do _not_ make excuses for him!" he said angrily. "It's inexcusable. Goddamn it!"

"What did you fight about anyway?" I asked a little more gently.

"Um, it was about…" she began and paused. "It was about the money, Edward. He demanded that I transfer the money to him because I didn't need that amount. I declined politely saying I would use it for the shelter. One thing led to another and here I am," she sniffled. "I prov-"

"Don't say you provoked him," I said, exasperated. "A man who raises his hand to a woman should be fed his own balls. Do you still employ Myra?" I asked. Myra was the woman who came three times a week to clean the house.

"Yes," she said.

"You call her now and tell her to pack up your things. You're moving in with me. That fucker will never touch you again," I said and Emmett nodded. "I lost a mother- using that word loosely- once, and I don't want to lose you too. First he grabs you, the next time he'll slap you, and before you know it, you'll be buried six feet under."

"You're overreacting," she said more confident, looking at me briefly before turning her gaze to Emmett. "He would nev-" she continued and stopped abruptly. "Emmett Cullen! What in God's name are you wearing?" she screeched and closed her eyes instantly.

Only then did I see it as well. The big oaf left the house wearing nothing but a tank top and his briefs. That was it. I started laughing uncontrollably.

"What are you laughing at, _Eddie_?" he said and went into my room probably to get something to wear. "You fucking called me half past six in the morning, and told me that my mother was bruised. What did you expect me to do, you shithead? Wear a tux? I barely found my car keys!" he growled as he emerged from my room wearing my sweatpants. "And why the hell are you home so early? Weren't you working?"

"I had the day off yesterday," I said as I calmed down from my laughter. "I need to call Marcus. I'll ask him to change my shift."

"You don't need to do this, Edward," Mom said. "I have plenty of things to do here."

"Humor me. I haven't seen you for two years and I missed you, Ma," I said honestly. "Beside we're not done here," I said and change my demeanor instantly.

Emmett came out of the kitchen holding a platter full of pancakes, as he shoved one down his throat. "Ugh! Can you be more disgusting? Doesn't she feed you?"

"I'm a growing boy, little brother, and an orthopedic doctor. I need my strength to put bones back together," he said and sank down to the couch, next to Mom.

Knowing that Marcus was already at work, I gave him a quick call asking him to change my shift. I was the only one patrolling the park and my request wouldn't screw up anyone's schedule.. When I finished, I saw that Mom had rescued some pancakes from Emmett's clutches and had made fresh coffee. We sat at the kitchen island talking about the shelter and her plans for expanding it. I was glad she was using the money for it. I was still pissed with that asshole but I tried not to show it. The whole grabbing thing may have been over for the moment, but it was an issue that we were going to discuss. Emmett had the day off since he had worked a double shift at the hospital so he decided to take mom to see Rosalie's improved workshop and do some shopping. I, on the other hand, decided to stay at home and sleep a bit more before my shift.

Around noon, the home phone rang. As I got up to answer the goddamned thing, I hit my toe on the bed frame.

"Motherfucker!" The phone kept ringing so I hobbled quickly to answer it.

"What?" I growled.

" _Hello Officer Cullen,_ " Marcus said in a serious tone. He was using his professional tone. That wasn't good.

"What is it Marcus?"

"I _am sorry for calling you, officer, but I need you to come down to the station earlier than planned. Since your shift starts in less than two hours, wear your uniform. I don't think that you'll be done here before you need to leave._ "

"Will you cut the shit and tell me what's wrong?"

" _You have a visitor,_ " he said.

"Who?"

" _I am afraid I can't reveal this information,_ " he told me.

"Will I get pissed off?" I asked. I was pissed off enough already.

" _Most likely,_ " he said, trying to hide his laugh with a cough. " _See you soon officer,_ " he finished and hung up.

I showered quickly, got dressed and got into my car. Who the hell wanted to see me? The ride to the station was fairly quick since the roads weren't so busy. Normally, I wasn't the type of guy that got anxious but it wasn't true this time. As I walked to Marcus's office, my stomach started tightening. What the fuck was wrong with me?

His door was closed so I knocked. "Come in."

I opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind me. "Okay I'm here. Where's my visitor?"

He smiled and motioned to the couch behind me. When I turned around the tightening came back, more forcefully this time. I was looking the boy who had managed to turn my world upside down over the past month. He was smiling at me, beaming actually, and waving.

"William," I said as I approached him.

"Good morning, officer," he smiled. "Edward," he leaned and whispered. That was when I saw that his lip was split. Shit! I needed to keep calm because I was still angry with Carlisle. I didn't want to scare the kid away.

"Who busted your lip?" I asked seriously.

"Tae Kwon Do training," he said and kept smiling.

I relaxed as I saw that he was telling the truth. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you," I asked.

"I've been busy with school and stuff," he said. "That's why I came here in the first place. I needed to ask your Supervisor a favor." Marcus chuckled. That fucker was in on something. I turned and glared at him before giving my attention back to William.

"What kind of favor?"

"Um, I kinda need more material for my essay," he said. "I would like to ask you if I could observe you in the field for a few days. You are the role model in this paper and I want to see you how you act. Your Sergeant asked for parental consent but my Mom is at work right now. I promise to bring it tomorrow."

No. That was dangerous. He could get hurt. I shook my head but before I had a chance to talk he spoke again. "I knew that you wouldn't agree because of my safety so I asked him," he said pointing to the smiley-faced asshole, "…to lend me a bulletproof vest when I'm with you. Please sir. I really want to win that competition. I need the laptop," he pleaded.

Fuck! Don't look at me like that, kid.

"Please, sir," he begged. "I want to do this. I'll bribe you if I have to," he smiled timidly.

"Bribe?" I asked incredulously. "I don't want your money, kiddo."

"I don't have money," he said, looking straight into my eyes.

"What are you gonna bribe me with, then?" I asked.

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," he smiled. "I made them myself!"

I shook my head not in disbelief and started laughing. "What kind of jelly?" I smiled.

"The best: strawberry," he said proudly and the smile I had plastered all over my face left instantly.

" _How can you eat that?" I asked her_ _, disgusted._

" _PB &J is the best, baby, especially with strawberry jelly. You can use any type of jelly, but this is the best," she smiled and practically shoved half of the sandwich into my face._

" _I'm not eating that," I said, raising my hand to block the incoming sandwich. "Salt and sugar together is a no go for me."_

" _I'll let you kiss me," she smiled sweetly. That wasn't good. "And maybe I'll let you grab my boobs."_

" _Not fair," I whined._

" _What do you say, stud?" she smirked, knowing that she'd get her way. Frankly, I didn't want to pass up the chance to touch her boobs._

_I grabbed the sandwich from her hand and took a bite. I started chewing and realized that it wasn't as bad as I thought. "This is good," I said and she smiled brightly at me._

"So what do you think, Officer Cullen?" Marcus asked taking me out of my painful reverie. I was really close to flipping him off but I had to refrain in front of the kid. Instead, I merely gave a squinty-eyed look. The fucker knew that this wasn't possible.

"I'm sorry William but I can't do that. It's very dangerous and frankly I wouldn't agree to that even if your whole family agreed to it. In fact, I don't know why HE told you otherwise," I said. He hunched his shoulders, giving up. Even though the crime in that park was almost zero, I wouldn't risk it.

"Since you're here, how about I show you the cruiser?" I asked. "I have sometime to spare before I leave." He smiled and before we left the office, he made sure to thank Marcus for his time.

When we made it to the cruiser, his eyes lit up. I remember that as a kid- after I had dealt with the shit around me and realized I wanted to be a cop- I always wanted to be inside of a police car.

"Now before we start, I want to explain what all these buttons are in here. I won't bother to explain the purpose of the light bar or the siren because I assume you know," I said. He nodded and took out his note pad. "This is a two way-radio: one of the most important pieces of equipment in modern law enforcement, and strongly linked with the development of the police car," I started and gave him some time to write them down. "This is the Equipment Console: some may be equipped with locking compartments for safe storage of firearms or file compartments. This," I said pointing the bars behind me. "is called 'Suspect Transport Enclosure.' The dividers ensure that a rear-seat passenger, aka a suspect, is unable to attack the driver or front-seat passenger. As you can see, we have simple bars, but they also have cars with bullet-resistant glass."

I spent around twenty minutes explaining everything in the car. He was looking at me amazed by everything I said to him, hanging on every single word. I wasn't used to someone paying attention to me that much, but fuck if I didn't like it. It was nice to see someone was learning something from me. On the other hand, it was all I had to offer. I was empty and the only thing good that remained was that I was a good cop. I was fast and lethal. No one could fuck with me while I was on duty unless my attention was drawn somewhere else.

"That's all there is to know about the cruiser," I said and he nodded.

"Okay," he said putting his notepad away. "I think I have enough."

"Good," I smiled. "What are your plans for today?" I asked, trying to gain a bit more time with him. I had no idea when I'd see him again.

"I don't have training and since I can't come with you," he pouted, "I'll go home and do some homework."

**-Ж-**

Four hours later, I was bored out of my mind. I groaned as I made yet another circle around the damn park. Emmett once suggested taking a book or something with me on every shift. Of course, he knew it was out of the question but he said it anyway.

I started heading toward the main part of the park. Children were running around as if they were possessed, mothers were chatting in small groups. Suddenly I saw him. He waved at me and started heading toward me as a Golden Retriever followed him.

"Already done with your homework?"

"Yeah," he said. "I was all alone at home so I decided to take my dog for a walk."

The dog was prancing around me and I chuckled. "He's cute. What's his name?" I asked, scratching the dog's back.

"Um," he said, looking away briefly. "S-Sandler. Yes, Sandler, like the comedian because he is a goofy dog."

We walked to an empty bench and sat. He opened a small bag, pulled out a softball and threw it far. "That'll keep him busy enough," he chuckled as he clearly remembered something. "When my Mom and Godmother brought him to me as a present for Christmas, his teeth had just started to grow. He would chew anything he found. One day, he found my Godmother's scarf," he smiled and shook his head. "She still holds a grudge against him."

He had such a calming effect on me, which was very odd. Truthfully, only three people ever had that effect on me: Emmett, Ma, and her. I found myself wanting to know more about him. I had thousands of questions for him, which made me uneasy. For the past twelve and a half years, I never cared for anyone else other than myself and my family. What was he doing to me?

"What's your mother's name?" I asked.

"Julie," he responded.

"And your Godmother's?"

"Allie."

"What does your mom do?"

"She's doing her residency. She wants to be a trauma surgeon," he sighed.

I closed my eyes instantly and blocked the memory of Bella before it even began. At moments like this, she had no place in my mind. Getting to know this kid was more important. She was a black spot…

"Allie?"

"She's a lawyer," he said simply.

"Your dad?"

His face paled. "I, ah… I don't know."

I cringed as I forgot that he didn't know who his father was. What kind of son of a bitch leaves his child? Worse yet, maybe the asshole was pretending he didn't have a kid...

"He doesn't pretend," he whispered and I realized I had voiced my thought. "He doesn't know I exist. It's for the best. Can we please not talk about this?" he pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Will."

"Don't be," he said. "I'm glad he doesn't know. Had he known about me, he would have suffered."

How can a twelve year old think like that? What person would suffer by having him as a son?

"It must have been hard for your mom to raise you all by herself," I stated.

"It was. My mom comes from a poor family," he said. "She had to work while she carried me. All my mom had was my Godmother and my Grandpa. They tried to give her money, but she never accepted. She's a very proud person when it comes to that."

'Unlike some others,' I thought to myself bitterly. Why couldn't she be like Julie? Why did have to sell us out?

"I wasn't talking about money. I meant that it must have been hard for her without your dad by her side."

"I guess so," he said, looking at me. "Aunt Allie was there for her from the beginning. They were both at school at the same time. Mom had just started college and Allie was almost done with her third year. My mom worked at a diner when she wasn't in class and she tutored high school and college students. My aunt worked in a fabric store. She was and still is very handy at making clothes so she was making our clothes. Every time she did something like that, mom would cry. She felt she was keeping Allie back from enjoying her life, but she never complained. Aunt Allie loves us very much," he finished, as small smile on his lips.

Those women should be handed a fucking medal of honor. I kept asking him simple questions and he answered them all. He told me how his mother was still struggling to pay off her school loans. She worked extra hours at the hospital and also tutored pre-med students. His Godmother was working as a lawyer and she continued helping them. Even though things were still hard at times, they never stopped believing that things would eventually get better.

It was almost eight pm and the sun was setting. Sandler had returned to us and was sleeping now at William's feet. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but wonder how someone would suffer by knowing about his existence. He, his mother, and his aunt were remarkable people.

"Do you live around here?" I asked.

"Yes," he smiled. "A couple of blocks away."

He opened his bag and handed me a bottle of water. "We've been talking for hours. Drink a bit. Mom says it's important to keep hydrated. She makes me drink eight glasses a day."

"Thanks, kiddo," I said, and nearly finished the damn thing in one gulp. I didn't realize how thirsty I was up to that point. My stomach then growled as if it had a mind of its own.

"Someone is hungry," he said with a smile. "Here, it's time for your bribe."

"Are you sure you won't poison me?" I teased and his face turned pale.

"I would never do that!" he said in a low voice. "I would never hurt you."

" _Edward? Oh my God, baby_ _, what happened?" Bella asked frantically as she kneeled in front of me._

_I wrapped my arms around her waist so tightly, my knuckles became white as I sobbed hard into the crook of her neck._

" _Shh, I'm here," she whispered._

_Only after my cries subsided was she able to look at me. She gasped and ran her fingertips over my reddening cheek and her eyes filled with tears almost instantly._

" _Who did this to you?" she demanded through her cries._

" _Carlisle," I sighed._

" _Why? What could you have done to earn this? He knows what you've been through!"_

" _We had a fight about my college education," I lied. I would never tell her that she was the main subject and reason he had slapped me._

" _Oh, Edward," she sniffled, enveloping me in her arms._

" _I love you," I said with a shaky voice. "I need you so much that it hurts when you're not around. I can barely breathe."_

_She took my face in her hands and forced me to look at her. "You are my heart, Edward. I would never hurt you!"_

"Don't make promises you might not be able to keep," I said angrily, as I stood. "Life is too fucked up and no one can keep promises. Do _not_ believe them because they will bring you to your knees eventually. You'll wake up one day and you won't be able to recognize yourself!" I spat. "Fuck!" I growled, pacing back and forth in an attempt to calm down. I lit a cigarette and sighed heavily as I felt the smoke down my throat. I knew it was a bad habit and yet I kept doing it. Smoking was… calming.

I finished off the cigarette, turned to look at him and froze instantly. His hands were shaking and tears were rolling down his cheeks. Fuck! What had I done? He was a small boy who had nothing to do with my fucked up life. I had to fix it fast.

I kneeled in front of him, gently reached out and raised his chin to get him to look at me. "William, I am so sorry buddy. I didn't mean to lose control like that. There are things in life you can't prevent from happening. Your life won't be full of rainbows all the time. You have to be prepared," I finished and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"My life hasn't been easy either, Edward," he started. "But that doesn't mean that I should lose hope and faith."

"I lost mine a _long_ time ago, kid."

"It's never too late to get them back," he answered immediately.

"It is in my case," I said flatly.

"Well then," he said and straightened his posture. "I'll have to prove you wrong..." he continued with a watery smile, "with a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." His statement made me chuckle. He was so young and full of positive thoughts.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" I asked.

"Anything," he said.

"Always hold back something for yourself. If something ever happens to bring you down to the very lowest point and threatens to break you, that tiny part you've kept will help you put the pieces back together. Okay?"

I, Edward fucking Cullen, master of brooding, resentment and misery, was giving advice to a child. What the fuck was happening to me? It was as if I was an entirely different person with this kid.

"Can I ask for a favor as well?" he asked as he played with the hem of his shirt.

"Anything.".

"Can I give you a hug?" he asked, as he raised his head to look at me.

Fuck. "I… uh…"

"Please?" he whispered.

Shit! "William, I…" I never got to finish.

He launched himself at me, his hands gripping me tightly as he rested his head on my shoulder. I was numb. I didn't know what to do. On the one hand, I wanted to return the hug, but on the other I wanted to keep him away from me. I wasn't good for him. He was innocent and good–hearted, while I was the exact opposite. Despite the fact that I knew what I needed to do, I did otherwise. Very slowly, I lifted my hands and hugged him back for a second. He sighed and I patted his back.

A few seconds later, he released me and stepped away. "The sun is about to set," he said sadly. "Curfew."

"Okay," I said. He picked up his things and left.

I stared at his retreating form. That kid was doing weird things to me. As we were talking, I felt like I was the old me- the one who wasn't the angry prick I am now. I was amazed by the few things he told me about his life. Those women struggled together to bring him up, and still they never lost their smile or hope.

The ring of my phone jarred me from my thoughts. I looked at the ID caller but I had no idea who it was.

"Cullen."

"Hello handsome," she purred.

"Tanya."

"How are you?"

"I'm at work. The reason you called?" I asked rudely.

"Well, it's been almost a month since I last saw you and I wanted to see how you were. Is there a problem with that?"

Had it been a month already? "I'm okay. You?"

"Someone stole my purse the other day, so I had to get new ID's, phone and everything," she sighed. "What time are you off? I want to relax with you for a bit."

"I can't today," I lied.

What the fuck? When did I start turning sex down?

"Are you seeing someone?" she asked abruptly. She was angry.

"What if I was?" I fired back harshly. "I told you that our arrangement came with no attachments. You probably ignored the fact that I told you it was only sex and nothing else, so do me a favor and stop acting like a jealous girlfriend."

"Next time…"

I cut her off before she finished. "I will be the one to call you and not the other way around. I have your number now. Good night, Tanya," I said and hung up.

That bitch! Why couldn't she grasp the fact that I didn't do this relationship shit? I did that crap and I ended up being ruined emotionally. Why should I do it again? All women are the same. They suck the life out of you and then leave you with nothing. So why would I throw myself into a pit like that again?

Looking at my watch one last time, I decided to make one more turn around the park which took no time at all. When I reached the cruiser, I heard a noise behind me. I turned around but saw nothing. However, I knew someone was there; I could feel it…

I went to the back, pretending to look for something in the trunk. This time I heard leaves crunching a bit further away. Assuming that who ever it was started leaving, I quietly made my way around the trees attempting to cut him or her off.

"What the hell did you think would happen, Will?" I heard William whispering to himself.

What the fuck was he doing out?

I had two options: one-make a sound and reveal myself, or two-scare the shit out of him. He shouldn't be out at this time and he needed to know that. I walked as silently as possible in his direction. The distance between us wasn't more than a couple of feet and still he hadn't realized I was there.

"Idiot," he berated himself.

I folded my arms in front of my chest and took a deep breath. "Lesson number one," I snapped, making him jump out of his own skin. He turned around and looked at me with wide eyes. "Don't _ever_ try to sneak around a cop because you never know what he'll do. And lesson number two: let the little scare you got just now be a reminder. The next time I catch you here at this time, the fright will be even worse. Got that?"

He nodded frantically. "I-I'm sorry."

"What are you doing here?" I asked sternly.

"Uh… I… umm… You said no and I… I wanted to see. Please don't be mad," he pleaded.

"No means no, William. I told you I wouldn't…" I continued and stopped immediately.

"Come on, baby." I heard a voice suddenly slur. "Fifty bucks and you'll taste the best weed you've ever tried."

William's eyes widened. I put my finger to my lips to shush him. I was opening my Sig's case when William grabbed my forearm, frantically shaking his head. I furrowed my eyebrows at his action. What was he doing?

"Now if you don't want weed, I've got other stuff as well," the voice continued.

"I don't do drugs!" I heard a woman say.

"Come on, sweet lips," he said. "I have the best coke ever made…"

"No," the woman said angrily. "Let go of my hand!"

William was still holding my forearm. I could see he was scared to death. I had to get him as far away as possible. I unclenched his hand from my arm. 'Go,' I mouthed.

He shook his head again. 'Go,' I mouthed again, pointing angrily away from us. His eyes watered.

'No' he mouthed again, clenching his fists at his side.

"I'll scream bloody murder if you don't let me go you asshole!" the woman said forcefully.

I was getting pissed by the second. I asked him to leave and he was still here. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes at him. "Get lost!" I hissed, barely audible other than to him. I pushed him in the direction I'd pointed at earlier. The look he gave me right before he ran would haunt me for days. I stayed there until his form disappeared from my sight.

I walked silently toward the dealer. The woman's eyes widened as soon as she saw me. As I looked at his back, I saw that he had a tattoo at the base of his neck: a scripted 'A'. That was Adriani's mark for his people. I took out my gun and placed it at the back of his head.

"You have one second to release her or I swear I will blow your fucking brains out."


	6. Reflections of a Broken Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

"Has the asshole talked yet or what?" I asked Victoria. It had been four days since I caught Adriani's puppet.

"No," she growled. "I've had him in there for four fucking days and still nothing."

"Do you want me to try?" I asked. I was ready to sell myself to Lucifer himself just to make him talk. If only I was given the chance.

I had my eye on Adriani for a long time; I used to work on his case. Two years ago, he was distributing drugs in a high school. Five children died because of his adulterated heroin and coke. I came really close to getting him that day, but he managed to get away again… by running me over with his car. I stayed in the hospital for a month before I was discharged. I had broken both arms and my left leg, along with some minor internal bleeding. That motherfucker almost killed me because I was trying to save the world from trash like him. And while I was never the kind of person to hold a grudge at work, he made it personal.

"Uh… I don't… Umm… N-no," she stammered. "Listen, Caius said if we don't get him to talk, then the Feds will take over. We've delayed them enough already." She paused for a second. "I have to go. Talk to you later."

I got in my truck and sped away. I needed to disappear for a few hours. So many things had happened over the past couple of days.

First, I'd arrested that junkie. When we got back to the station, the guys were ready to have a party. We'd never come so close to Adriani before, at least not for the last few years. Every single lead they'd had over the past few months was a dead end. The warehouse had proven to be no more than a storage house. The fucker was smart. He had his puppets store fake antiquities he owned and legally purchased. Victoria was right after all. He used the warehouse as a diversion- for what, I had no idea.

Another thing is that Carlisle flew here a day after Ma arrived. He came groveling, begging for forgiveness. It took all the strength I had - and Emmett's muscular grip - not to fucking tear him to pieces with my bare hands. I loved my mother to no end but unfortunately for her, she was too weak. A few tears, a heartbreaking-my-ass apology and she was back in his arms. What happened to self-respect and preservation?

Meanwhile, Emmett was giving me the silent treatment. He would act as if nothing was wrong in front of others, but when we were alone he'd pretend I wasn't in the goddamned room. I knew what he was trying to do: force me to get some help… help that wouldn't do any good. Therapy was a waste of time, money and energy. It might have helped when I was a little kid but not now. I'd experienced too many things through my job, and let's face it: my life hadn't been that easy.

The major thing, however, was that I hadn't seen William. I had no way of contacting him and he hadn't shown up at the park since I sent him away. His eyes were so scared that night. But why? I wanted to believe that he knew I wouldn't let anything happen to him. The way he pleaded with his eyes not to go… Why did I feel so strange? Maybe he finally realized that I wasn't worth the effort. I was a broken man who had nothing to offer him. I spat truths at him- truths he was too young to understand. Too young to know that promises are easily broken, whether deliberately or unwittingly. He said he wouldn't hurt me and I fucking snapped at the kid. Who does that?

Only me…

In my thirty-one years, I knew that age wasn't important. Real life didn't care about age, social status, or wealth. She just reared her ugly head and the rest was history. Sometimes people like Carlisle and Esme would appear in one's life and save you. The ones left behind, the ones who couldn't be saved, were left to suffer.

_My life hasn't been easy either, Edward, but that doesn't mean that I should lose hope and faith._

What could he possibly have gone through to say that? From what little I knew about him, he seemed to be down to earth, wiser than his age. He was well mannered, but he also knew how to kick someone's ass. He spoke very little about his family and that was only when asked. The next time we met- if there was a next time- I would ask him more. He'd peaked my interest.

My phone's ring took me out of my thoughts. Looking the ID, I saw it was Jasper.

"Hey Tex. What's up?" I asked.

" _I am calling to let you know that sometime soon, I will be committing a fucking murder!_ " he said, exasperatedly. I started laughing and looked at my watch.

"Gino's in thirty?"

" _Order me the usual. I'm leaving the office now._ "

Chicago was a big city, yet we all managed to have everything we needed within a short distance. I sent a quick text to Emmett to inform him of our plan to go to Gino's in case he wanted to join us. Knowing my brother, he wouldn't come. Rosalie, on the other hand, said she'd try to make it if she finished quickly with a car.

Entering the small Italian diner, I was attacked by Lucia, Gino's wife.

"Edward! Come stai, ragazzo mio?"

"Io sono molto più adesso che ti ho visto ..." I responded.

Lucia started laughing. "Always a charmer. How is everybody? It's been ages since you've been here."

I told her how we'd been. We used to come at least three times a week just to get catch up. Between hospitals, arrests, grease and trials, we always found a way to get together.

"So what can I get you?" she asked.

"Two large drafts for now." Jasper entered the diner, minutes later. I could tell by the look on his face that he was angry.

"Long time no see, Texas," I said with a smile.

"You're smiling," he said and raised his eyebrows.

"I know. I do it from time to time you know. What's new?"

He sighed heavily. "Alice," he said, running his hands through his hair.

"The dwarf?"

He glared at me. "Don't call her that!"

"Your words, not mine, man. What's the deal with her?"

He sighed again and looked at me. "She moved into town three months ago, from Phoenix. She's thirty-four and the new District Attorney. She's the most aggravating, stubborn, beautiful woman I've ever came across. She's in love with her job, not to mention her family. She'd kill for them, Edward."

"You're pussy whipped already," I chuckled. "Did you meet her in court?"

"On break, actually. She tripped and spilled my coffee all over me…."

He continued narrating how they got into a fight and how she crushed him at the trial. Every couple of days they would run into each other until she decided to start sending him cupcakes and coffee or appear at his office unexpectedly and piss him off with her comments.

"… and yesterday, I just attacked her… in my office," he whispered.

"Wait, you attacked _her_?" I asked incredulously. He nodded.

"You fucked her, in your office." Nod. "Without taking her out. No first date, no second date."

"Yes, Edward!" he said angrily. "We fucked in my office and it was the best sex I ever had."

I chuckled and shook my head. "What happens now?"

"Nothing," he said. "After we were done, we just sat on the couch silently. After a while she got up and got dressed. When I asked her to give me her number, she told me that this was a one-time thing and left. Man, I stayed frozen on the spot for God only knows how long."

"Did she tell you why?"

"I think it has something to do with her family. Fuck, I'm not sure. This morning, I was pissed so I went to her office to ask for an explanation, a reason, something, but she didn't want to see me. I don't get it. She was hunting me I was like her prey for the past few weeks. I could see it in her eyes that she wanted more. She told me to leave and that what happened was a mistake."

"Have you thought that she might be married?" He lifted his head at once and looked at me. "Maybe she's one of those women who cheat, Jazz."

"No. Not Alice. She would never do such thing," he said sternly.

"Do you really know her that well, to be sure?" I asked. He was silent. "Look, every once in a while we get to have an 'Alice' in our lives. Don't fuss over it. You had a nice time and that's it. It's better this way. Trust me."

"But I saw it, Edward," he said. "She didn't want this to end. She wanted more. Her eyes told me the truth."

"Cut the bullshit, Texas. You know things like that can be deceptive. You have fucking living proof right in front of you," I said angrily.

"Not all women are like B…"

"Don't you fucking dare say her name, Jazz. I mean it!" I hissed.

"…are like her!"

"Okay then, fucking tell me why she dumped you like that. If she's not married, then what's her deal?" He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed. Fucking women.

One beer brought another and then another. We ended up drinking without saying a word. He was lost in his world and I was lost in mine. People say that eyes are the windows to the soul. I say bullshit. Eyes are just organs you can manipulate as you see fit. They're not mirrors.

"I can't stop thinking about her," he whispered. "Her smile can brighten a fucking room, you know?"

I felt so sorry for him that moment. She had gotten under his skin. Jasper was like me. He loved only once in his life. He might find another woman, but he'd never love her.

"Jasper?" I asked. He looked at me. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

"I think so," he said and looked out the window.

I chuckled and drank a big portion of my beer. "You're fucked!" I said and shook my head. "And do you want to know the killer part?"

"That I'm gonna regret it like you did?"

"No. You're gonna enjoy it…"

Did I regret loving her? I knew the fucking answer but there was no reason for others to know… And why should they know in the first place?

"It's going to rain today," he said, changing the subject as he looked out the window.

"Seems like it," I said and sighed. Ever since I could remember, I would sit by the window and stare at the rain.

"Are you working today?"

"No. I took a sick day."

"Why?" he asked with furrowed eye brows. Why indeed.

"I want to get laid…" I lied teasingly. "All night long…"

"Asshole," he said, disgusted. "One of these days, the tables will turn on you. Mark my words."

'They already have my friend…' I thought. 'A long time ago…' I stared out the window for a few minutes. A few rain drops started to fall and I could see people rushing to find a temporary shelter.

"Want another round?" Jasper asked.

"Can you handle it?" I smiled lightly.

"Bring it on…"

I got up and went to the bar to get our beers. Franco handed me the glasses and as I made my way back to our table, I glanced out the window. I saw a woman in scrubs with mahogany hair, walking hurriedly. Everything happened in slow motion. She turned her head for a second and I saw the face I'd tried so hard to erase from my memories.

It was her.

The glasses fell from my hands and I stumbled back, hitting the table behind me. My heart was beating at full throttle and I couldn't breathe. I started hyperventilating, and grabbed the edge of the table to keep myself from sinking to the floor with no success.

"Edward," Jasper rushed to me. "Man, are you okay?" I couldn't respond. "You're scaring the shit out of me, Ed. Talk to me!" he continued, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me.

I couldn't remember how long I had been in that state, until I heard Emmett's voice. "Edward, can you hear me?" he asked as he flashed a light in my eyes. I took a deep breath, and blinked several times. How could she be here? Was it really her or had I imagined it everything?

"I can hear you, Em," I whispered.

"Fuck, Edward, you gave us a heart attack," he sighed. "What happened?"

"I… um," I stammered. What the fuck was I supposed to tell him? "Uh, I… um, I saw a woman who looked like Lizzy," I lied. "What are the odds?" I mumbled.

He looked at me with narrowed eyes for a brief second. He knew I was lying, but he also knew that I wouldn't tell him. My mind was playing dangerous tricks on me and I didn't like it. I was fucked up enough. Deciding that she was a figment of my imagination and nothing else, I got up from the floor and sat at our table. I took out a cigarette and went to light it, but Jasper grabbed my hand.

"Edward, you know you can't smoke in here."

Fuck! I dropped it on the table and with shaky hands I grabbed a glass of water. What the hell was that?

"You look exhausted, Em," Jasper said after a while.

"I know," he replied. "I've been on double shifts for close to two months. I only get two days off a week. St. Joseph is short on staff. Due to the crisis, they couldn't pay the staff on time so most of them transferred or quit. Some of our doctors went there to help out and the rest of us have to fill their shifts," he sighed.

"How long?"

"Another month or so but we're-"

He didn't get to finish as Jazz's phone started ringing. "Hello?" Tex took a deep breath and held it. "What do you want, Brandon? I think you were perfectly clear this morning." He paused again and got up from his chair, motioning that he'd be back.

There was an awkward silence. My brother was looking anywhere but at me. Suddenly, he took a pen out of his pocket, grabbed a napkin and started writing down a phone number.

"Thank you," I said looking down at the floor. I may be an asshole but I'm not ungrateful. He left his job to come to me when I needed help.

"Whatever, Edward," he said as he got up to leave. He placed the napkin in front of me and I lifted my head to look at him. "This is Garrett Cummings's phone number. He's a therapist and a good friend. The next time I hear from you, it had better be to tell me the date of your appointment. I'm serious about this," he said and turned to leave.

"I'm calling no one," I snapped. He stopped and turned back to look at me.

"Then we're done." He walked out quickly.

I tried really hard not to show my emotions. That was the first time I started realizing that little by little I was pushing away people with my behavior. First William and now Emmett. I hated her for what she did to me. She brought me to this state and yet I couldn't move on. I was stuck with all of my goddamned memories of her… of us. Another man would have said 'the hell with it' and moved on, but I couldn't. I was bound to the life I had dreamt of and craved. I lost myself along with that delusion, and even if I wanted to change, I didn't know how to become the old me again.

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize that Jasper had returned. He was silent as well. His face was even sadder, probably from his conversation.

"What did she want?" I asked.

"To apologize for the way she treated me," he said and took a sip from his beer.

"So you're okay then?"

"No. She reiterated that it was a one-time thing and that it can never happen again," he said and looked at me.

"Fucking women. Do you see now why I fuck and leave, no strings attached?"

"I'm not you," he said sternly. "I'll prove you wrong. Alice is different." He got up, threw twenty bucks on the table and left.

I paid the rest of the tab and stayed to finish my beer. The table was cleared and I sat there looking at the note Emmett left me, replaying the scene in my mind. My body shook and I wanted to reach out to the vision of her. No! I clenched my hands into fists. How dare she cause this reaction? As if plaguing my dreams and every waking thought wasn't enough... "Fuck this," I said, folded the napkin and put it in my jacket pocket. By the time I got home, the rain had stopped.

While I was showering, I heard the phone ring but I let the answering machine get it. I wasn't in the mood to talk. I dried myself and went to get dressed when the phone started ringing again. The answering machine got that one as well.

" _Umm… Hello. I hope I called Edward Cullen the policeman. If not I apologize for the disturbance,_ " I heard him say over the sound of cars driving by. He must have been calling from a pay phone. My heart started pounding, and for a second I thought it would come out of my chest. " _I… err, found your number in the phone book. Um…I went by the station but a woman told me you weren't working today._ " Shit! " _I wanted to check that you were okay. I didn't mean to make you angry that night. I'm sorry."_ He paused. " _I have to go now. I need to go to practice. Bye… Oh, it's Will, by the way,"_ he finished and hung up.

I sank to the floor and played the message again… and again… I wanted to see him. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't angry. I needed to explain to him that I had been scared –if I dared to say it- for him. I hadn't known whether that shithead was armed or not, and I just wanted to keep him safe I'd scared him off and now he thought that I was still angry with him, that I didn't want to talk to him again.

How long could I go on like this? I knew the truth: I hadn't made peace with myself even though I said differently to others. I didn't want them to see how vulnerable I still was. I didn't want them to know that I was ready to push everyone away because I couldn't bear to see them walk away from me. I had only seven people in my life, eight if I included William. I would be damned if I sat back and did nothing.

I grabbed the phone without thinking and dialed Emmett's number. He picked up but didn't say a word. "I saw her," I said. Silence. "At Gino's, I mean. I went to get some beer and I saw her outside the window. Emmett, it was her," I continued. "B-Bella."

He took a deep breath. " _Edward, our mind pl-_ "

I cut him off. "I know Emmett. I may have imagined her. We were talking about Jasper's chick and I just saw her. Emmett, please," I pleaded. "I am not ready for therapy yet. Don't make me. If I do this, I need to do it on my own terms. I don't want to be forced into it. Please. You're my brother, you have to understand me. Please."

" _Edward, I swear to God this is your last chance, man. Pull your shit together. I want my brother back._ "

"I know," I sighed. We talked for a few more minutes before he had to go back to work. The day was still young so I decided to go for a walk and buy something to eat.

**-Ж-**

Time went by fast. Fours hours later, I was done with groceries, eating and my walk. I cleaned, did some laundry and finally decided to sit on my patio to relax. I turned the radio to my favorite station, put my beer and cigarettes on the table and was good to go. I sat on my recliner and enjoyed the view.

The Chief suddenly came to mind. It had been a long time since we last spoke. He was my mentor, so to speak. After she left me, we sort of made a silent pact. He'd never talk about her, where she was or how she was doing. He was the very first person who saw me at my lowest. He was the one who helped get me back home the night I showed up at his house, drunk off my ass, pounding at his door screaming for her. He was the one who made me realize that she was gone for good. Never once did he excuse or justify her actions. I could see that he felt somewhat betrayed as well. When she came to Forks, she became his companion, the person he could talk to about almost anything, other than sports and work. She gave him many things, but most of all she gave him the daughter he'd missed so much.

Without hesitation, I checked the time and grabbed my phone. It had been months since we last spoke.

" _Hello._ "

His voice made me smile. "Hello Chief."

" _Well, look who decided to call,_ " he chuckled. " _How are you son?_ "

"I'm good. How about you? How is the crime in Forks?"

" _Apart from that Newton punk, everything is fine._ "

"He is out of the joint?" I asked.

" _He was on his best behavior, so they let him out on terms. Anyway, let's not waste our time talking about trash. Tell me what's new,_ " he said.

"Nothing much. Marcus assigned me to patrol a park."

" _A park?_ " he asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yes, a damn park," I laughed.

" _Edward, what did you-?_ "

"Same old, same old," I said quickly.

" _You and your temper. You know that this is unacceptable for an officer._ "

"In my defense, he attacked me. I had to protect myself," I said smugly.

" _Yeah, yeah,_ " he said. " _Are you coming home for Thanksgiving?_ "

"No. I'll be working," I lied. There was no way in hell I would go there. I couldn't risk seeing her.

" _I won't be having any visitors, if that's what you are worried about,_ " he said calmly.

"That's not it. I just can't," I responded, trying to sound truthful.

" _Okay son. You know better. But promise me that you'll visit soon. I need my back up fishing partner. Ever since Billy had the heart attack, we don't go out that much._ "

"I promise. I'll see when I can get some time off after Christmas," I said. I would never be able to repay him for all the help and support he gave me. The least I could do was to go for a couple of days.

" _Good to hear. Remember that you need to rest and clear your mind. Our job consumes us, not only physically but mentally,_ " he advised.

"Am I being counseled by the man who never took a leave of absence?" I teased.

" _Touché. I am just trying to make sure you're okay, Edward. No matter what, you'll always be like a son to me,_ " he said sincerely.

I believed him. Other people used to look at me and Emmett as the 'traumatized' kids. I was always the child who witnessed his mother being murdered. But Charlie never looked at me that way. He accepted me and my past without even thinking about it. He… protected me.

" _Come on, kid. Let's_ _get you home," he said calmly._

" _I w… I wan…I want 'err back," I sobbed drunkenly. It had been less a day since she left. I sneaked into Carlisle's office and stole two bottles of whiskey. I barely managed to drink half of a bottle. I wanted to stop thinking about her. "I can't live withouter," I slurred._

_He placed me in the back of the cruiser and fastened my seatbelt, muttering profanities I couldn't understand. Chief was never the kind of person who swore. As he drove, he continued to ask if I was okay and then cursed more when he got no answer. I sat there crying, looking the picture of us that I kept in my wallet._

_When we arrived home, Mom and Emmett rushed to me. Carlisle came out of the house yelling at me for being stupid and acting immaturely just because the "wannabe" left me. He hadn't seen Charlie yet._

" _Esme, go inside please. I need to have a word with your husband," Charlie said sternly._

" _I have no secrets from my wife, Chief," he said and crossed his arms in front of his chest._

" _Are you sure about that?" Charlie answered, narrowing his eyes at him._

" _Most certainly."_

" _Okay then. I'm sure she'_ _ll understand the reason for this," he said and punched Carlisle in the face. Carlisle dropped to the ground.._

" _Carlisle!" Mom yelled and ran to him. Charlie grabbed him by his collar, ready to beat the living daylights out of him. I had never seen him so mad._

" _You'_ _re a pathetic excuse for a father," he growled. "Really, Carlisle?"_

" _I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, wiping the blood from his nose with his hand. Charlie grabbed his collar more tightly, and leaned to whisper something in his ear,making Carlisle go pale._

" _If I ever see him in this state again, I'll take you in. Not only for neglecting a minor and exposing him to alcohol, but also for s-"_

" _He doesn't neglect his sons, Charlie!" Mom said fiercely. "How can you say that?"_

" _Ask your husband, Esme," he said pushing Carlisle away. "I'll be watching you like a fucking hawk, Cullen. Watch yourself," he spat._

" _Edward? Are you there?_ " Chief said, taking out of my reverie.

"Yes."

" _Listen, I've got to go. I need to get to the station,_ " he said sadly.

"It's okay," I said and smiled.

" _Don't be a stranger. Call more often._ "

"I will Chief," I promised.

" _Take care, son,_ " he said and hung up.

I gathered up my things from the table and headed inside. I collapsed on my bed, looking at the ceiling, hoping for a dreamless night… or, at the very least, a dream without her in it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian Translations:
> 
> ~ Come stai, ragazzo mio?: How are you, by boy?
> 
> Io sono molto più adesso che ti ho visto: I'm much better now that I've seen you
> 
> I used an online translator, so my apologies to my Italian readers for any mistakes….


	7. Making Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

"You should visit more often, Edward," Kate said.

"Why should I?" I asked, zipping my jeans.

"That wasn't a nice thing to say," she said bluntly.

"It's the truth," I responded as I tied my shoes.

She sighed and got up to get dressed. "Every single time you call, no matter what I'm doing, I drop everything and come to you. The least you could do is be somewhat polite, you know. Lie for God's sake."

"Kate, you know the-" I started but she cut me off.

"Yeah, yeah! I know the fucking deal and frankly I'm tired of it. I'm not a doormat that you can come and step on it whenever you like, Edward. I thought that maybe you would change, but you haven't. I want something stable and I know you can't offer me that. The sex is amazing but it's not enough. Not anymore…" she said exasperatedly.

"Okay," I said. There was nothing I could do for her apart from giving her a physical relationship. "You're a good woman, Kate, and you deserve far more than I can offer you. You should be able to find a man that can give you more than sex."

Kate and I met almost a year ago when she came to the station to report her handbag as stolen. She was a very beautiful woman: black curly hair with big gray eyes. She was working as a secretary while studying for her Human Resources degree. She was smart and would say what she wanted to say whether you liked it or not. Like at this moment.

"Damn straight I am!" she exclaimed. She exhaled and looked at me, a bit calmer this time. "Look Edward, you're a good guy. I don't know whether something happened to you to make you the asshole you want to pretend you are or if you've been like this all along. You made yourself perfectly clear from the beginning, but trust me when I say that you can't keep doing this. You need to start communicating with people, talk to them about what's troubling you, and take your anger on the ones responsible for it. Sex is not the solution. Do _not_ \- not even for a second- think that I do not understand the difference between rough sex and angry sex. You may not have harmed me during sex but I swear I felt your anger every single time," she said. Truth be told, she shut my mouth and all I could do was nod once. "You're pushing people away, and even if they don't want to leave you, they have no other choice."

"How did you become so wise?" I asked her.

"Life experience and working for a therapist. Plus I like to read," she said with a smirk.

As I was ready to leave, I turned to look at her. "Can I call you sometime?"

She shook her head. "What's the point?" she asked. "Besides, we both know that you won't." She stood on her toes and kissed my cheek. "Take care, Edward."

The drive home was long and boring. Checking that I had no messages on the machine, I had a shower and changed into jeans and a black t-shirt. Jasper informed us that he wanted to introduce us to _his_ Alice. Apparently they managed to sort things out and I was pleased with the outcome. Jasper had been alone for a long time and he deserved to be happy. Rosalie decided to pick me up. I hadn't seen her since Ma left, so she thought it would be nice to 'share' a ride and 'catch up' a bit. To me it sounded like, "dare-to-say-no-and-I'll-rip-you-to-pieces."

As I was sitting on the couch waiting, I saw the napkin Emmett gave me not so long ago. It had been lying there for days, begging for attention and taunting me.

_Edward, you have to go into therapy…_

_I want my brother back…_

_I haven't lost hope and faith…_

Therapy was all about facing your issues… and I was scared to face them. The pain, the void. I would be forced to talk about her and remember things I tried so hard to forget. I would never be ready to go back but I had to. I was hurting people around me, I knew that. I didn't want to be angry any more or act like an asshole. I missed feeling calm and little by little I was pushing away Emmett and Mom. William was gone for good and it stung.

Taking a deep breath, I reached the phone and dialed the number. I would do this…

" _Garrett Cummings speaking,_ " a male voice said. I couldn't speak. "Hello?"

"Um, H-Hello," I stammered. "My name is Edward Cullen. You know my brother Emmett."

" _Hello, Mr. Cullen. I have to say, I never expected you to call,_ " he said calmly.

"Neither did I," I said.

" _Why are you calling, then?_ "

"I need help," I responded.

" _Deciding to seek help for something you're going through can be really hard but at the same time so brave,_ " he said. " _I look forward to our sessions._ "

"When can we start?" I asked, hoping it would be soon.

" _I'll be leaving tomorrow for a convention. So how about the 28_ _th_ _, at 10 a.m.? Does that work for you?_ "

'That's too long,' I thought to myself. Almost a week…

" _You're not responding and I think that you think it's too long and that you'll back out._ " I cleared my throat but still said nothing. " _You won't. You already called and asked for my help. So is the date and time okay?_ " he asked, sounding more hopeful.

"It's okay," I said in a hoarse voice.

" _I'll see you in a week then,_ " he said and hung up the phone without giving me a chance to reply.

Just as I put the phone on the charger, the front door swung open and then slammed shut. I met Rosalie's eyes, blazing with fury. She marched over and then punched me unexpectedly.

"What the fuck, Rosalie?" I growled, licking the little blood that was dripping from my lip. In one swift move, she pinned me to the wall.

"Do you want to know what the fuck I've been doing the past week, you asshole? I have been trying to pull my man back together. Do you have any idea what it feels like to see a thirty-one year old man, crying like a baby, blaming himself for not being able to help his brother?" she spat into my face, as her eyes started brimming with tears. "He doesn't sleep at night because he's dreaming of you drowning and blaming him for it," she continued.

"Ros-"

"Shut the fuck up, Edward. I'm talking now! Do you want to know why I am still speaking to you? Because I'm the only link Emmett has with you. Every time he comes back from the goddamned hospital, the first thing he asks is if you called. I can't even describe the fucking feeling when I tell him you didn't. If only you could see the pain in his eyes. He thinks it was his job to protect you and that he failed doing this one thing!" She released me and went to stand in front of the window. "I'm pregnant," she whispered. "I'm having a baby and I can't tell the man I love because it will burden him even more."

There was a deadly silence in the apartment for a few moments. I walked to her and hugged her from behind. "I'm sorry Rosalie. I didn't realize that I was hurting all of you so bad."

She pushed me away and turned to look at me. "Don't apologize to me! Apologize to your brother. I'm just your friend. You aren't the only man who was fucked over by a woman. What you fail to see is that even though Bella took money from your father, she did a good thing by leaving you. Imagine what would have happened if you two got married, had a couple of kids, and after you got the fund money, she left you."

Rosalie was the only one who dared to say her name. She was never afraid to tell me what she thought, especially after she found out what happened to me. She never liked to hover but she knew when to stomp her foot and tell me her opinion, whether I liked it or not.

"I made arrangements for therapy today," I said.

"What?" she asked as she wiped her tears.

"I called the therapist, Emmett's friend."

"Are you fucking with me just to stop me from throwing your shit back in your face?"

"No, Rose," I sighed. "Some events made me realize that I need help. I'm tired of being angry all the time."

"Emmett, will be so happy to hear it. Thank you," she said and hugged me tightly.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

"What?"

"Can you please not tell him? You see, the first session isn't until after Thanksgiving. If I chicken out, he'll be disappointed again and I don't want that."

"I will only do that if you promise me that you will _not_ chicken out," she smiled.

"So," I said, changing the subject, "am I really going to be an uncle?"

Her face lit up instantly and nodded. "Yes. I found out yesterday."

"When are you going to tell him?" I asked, as we left the house.

"I was planning on Thanksgiving as a present but now that I think about it, I'll tell him after you're done with your first session. What do you think?"

"Your call, hun. If you think it's better this way, then I'm happy with it."

****-Ж-** **

As we entered Gino's, I spotted Emmett sitting at the bar. As if he had eyes in the back of his head, he turned and smiled when his gaze met Rosalie's.

"There's my beauty," he said and crashed his lips to hers. Rose melted in his hands and reciprocated the kiss with the same eagerness.

"Too much PDA," I muttered to myself somewhat loudly so they could break it off.

"Well if you had a goddess like her, you wouldn't be able to contain yourself either," he said smugly and smacked her rear lightly.

We sat at our table and started talking about our jobs. It had been a while since I smoked so I excused myself to go and have one outside. As I reached into my pocket, I realized I left my cigarettes at the house. I sent a text to Emmett letting him know where I was going and walked quickly to the kiosk. Ten minutes later, I was enjoying my cigarette as I headed back to the bar.

I was really intrigued by this Alice who I yet had to meet. When Jasper called me, he explained the main reason for her hesitance. Alice was living with her cousin and there were some major issues that they were facing. He didn't get into many details as he was in a hurry, but that left me wondering why. I mean, people had all kind of issues all the time but it didn't stop them from having relationships.

I reached Gino's and smoked another one since I didn't know when I would smoke again. I looked inside and I saw a small woman, with spiky black hair smiling and talking animatedly to my brother. She was beautiful and even though she looked like a child next to Jasper, they looked good together. Tex leaned and whispered something in her ear and she smiled. She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him softly.

I opened the door and was heading to our table when Jasper spotted me. "There he is!" he exclaimed. "Needed your fix?"

I chuckled and flipped him off. He helped Alice stand and turned her to face me but her gaze never left his face.

"Darlin', this douche bag over here is Emmett's brother, Edward. Ed, meet my Alice," he beamed.

Her eyes widened as we looked at each other and she placed her hand over her mouth as if to prevent a scream. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. This reaction wasn't typical: was I that scary?

"Hello," I said, extending my hand toward her. She just stood there, staring at me as her face drained of all color.

"Alice," Rosalie chuckled. "Don't be scared of him. Under that 'mucho man' appearance of his, a sweetheart is hidden," she finished and laughed.

She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them, she smiled. "Eh, I'm sorry, I'm Alice. Um, nice to meet you."

"Likewise," I said and shook her hand. Something was off with this woman.

We sat down and started talking about various things but every now and then I caught her looking at me. She was acting very weird. "So, Alice. Jasper told me that you're a D.A. Have you been here for long?"

"Since July," she replied and turned her attention to something Rosalie was saying.

"Where are you from?" I asked her, trying to start a conversation with her again.

"Originally from Biloxi, Mississippi but I was raised in Arizona," she answered and turned her attention to Emmett this time.

Was she trying to avoid me?

"Jasper told me you have family here?"

"W-what?" she stuttered.

"Do you have family here?" I asked again.

"Yes, a cousin. We moved here together from Arizona."

I didn't respond as I realized that she didn't want any interaction with me. It was odd. This chick knew me only for ten minutes and she didn't want to talk to me. I was getting pissed.

"How do you like it here in Chicago? I assume that you must be suffering with the weather here since you were used to Arizona's warmth."

"It's okay, I guess. Besides this is where my work and family is so there's no issue," she said and took a sip of her beer.

"Do you have many friends here?"

"No," she said and started talking with Rosalie.

Fuck this. "I am going out for a cigarette," I said annoyed and stood up to leave. As I turned my back, I heard Jasper excuse himself as well.

"What's your problem?" he hissed at me when we got outside.

"My problem? I don't have one," I said lighting my cigarette.

"It doesn't seem like it. What was with the third degree?" he asked.

"What third degree, Tex? All I was trying to do was to start a conversation with your girl and she made clear that she didn't want to even talk to me. I was merely being polite and trying to get to know her."

"Look, she was very anxious about this night. She was stressed and she wanted to make a good impression."

"Well she failed do that so far in my book. What's her issue anyway? It's not like she knows me."

Suddenly the door opened and Alice exited. "Um, Jasper, I have to go. Something came up and I need to get home."

"Let me get my coat and I'll drive you," he said disappointed.

"No!" she declined quickly. "The taxi station is only a block away. I'll grab one from there."

"Okay then. I'll take you to the taxi station. I'll be right back," he said.

There was an awkward silence. She looked everywhere but at me, as if I wasn't inches away from her. Since she was important to Jasper, I decided to talk to her again in an attempt to show her that I'm not an asshole.

"Did I do something to offend you?" I asked.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "No."

"Then?" I asked without giving her time other than to answer. She was saved by the bell when Jasper came out.

"Come on darlin'. Let's go before you freeze."

"Good night, Edward," she said and extended her hand.

I nodded my head in response and went inside. Emmett and Rosalie were in their own bubble when I sat down. I cleared my throat and got their attention.

"That was an interesting meeting," I said and took a sip from my beer.

"It was strange," Rosalie said. "Do you know her?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know her, Rose?"

"I don't know Edward. Before you showed up she was all talkative and funny and when she saw you she just, I don't know, clammed up."

"Well I don't give a fuck," I stated. "She pissed me off. I was just trying to get to know her because of Jasper. I didn't do anything or ask her a really personal question. I kept my mouth shut this time. Next time if she acts the same I will ask her what's her issue."

Emmett was looking at me expectantly, as if he wanted me to tell him something. He would glance over at me, open his mouth only to close it immediately.

"Have you thought about Garrett?" he finally asked.

I looked at Rosalie briefly and then at him. "Um, no. I need you to trust me on this one Emmett."

"Okay," was all he said before we saw Jasper coming into the bar. He wasn't looking happy.

"Is everything okay, Jasper?" Rosalie asked.

"You women are such strange creatures. The one minute, when you want to make amends for something, you're ready to grovel and on the other you just… No Rosie. It's not okay. She just told me that things weren't working on her end. What the hell is that supposed to mean? She told me that she tried but it doesn't work."

"I'm sorry Jazz," Emmett said.

"Yeah," he said sadly. "Me too."

"So what? You're giving up?" I asked him and folded my hands on the table.

"What can I do Edward? I can't force her to be with me if she doesn't want to." He had a point.

"Look," Rosalie started. "She's new in town. Maybe she isn't used in being around so many people. Give her some time. She'll come around," she finished and smiled at him.

**-Ж-**

I had the morning shift the following day. It was Saturday and even though it was still very early, you could tell that is was going to be a rainless day even though the weather channel said otherwise. Jasper ended up wasted so I decided to bring him to my house rather than drive to his since mine was closer. He kept me up almost all night long, as he repeated Alice's name and 'why', but I couldn't blame him. It was probably the first time he fell for a woman so deeply. Who could blame him after all? With a brief note on the coffee table, I left to go to work. Surprisingly, I was kind of looking forward to this shift without knowing why. Emmett and Rosalie were going to Forks for Thanksgiving at noon so I had nothing better to do.

Entering the station, I saw Victoria talking on her phone. Quietly, I approached her. She was funny when someone startled her.

"I know," I heard her whisper. "I'm trying everything I can, you know that!" Pause. "How is she?" Pause again. "Will they do an Echo again?" Pause. "Okay, I'll try to see what I can do," she sighed. "No the location hasn't changed. He's still there and I don't know why. It was his choice." The person she was talking to must have told her something because her body stiffened instantly. "He's a good man! When I decided to help you, you promised nothing would happen. Why are you doing this?" Pause again. "N-no," she stammered. "Of course not but just for your information," she continued and turned around. When she saw me she yelped. "Edward! I-I gotta to go," she said to the receiver and ended the call. "How long have you been standing here?" she asked.

I chuckled. "Don't worry. Not that long. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said, averting her eyes from me. "Just family issues."

"You're not a good liar, Vic. Anyway, I'm heading to the park. Can you please tell Marcus to give me a call?" I said and made my way to get the cruiser's keys.

"Sure," she said and left.

The first few hours of the shift had me thinking a lot. Kate thought that I should start connecting with people. To me, sex wasn't merely pleasure, but also a way of 'connecting'; however, the bottom line was I only managed to push them away. I would end up alone. That was no way to live, and deep down I know that I made the right choice to call Garrett.

The fact that I was going to be an uncle made me smile. I always liked kids: they're sweet, innocent. They would always point things out to you in their own way when you're busting your head trying to find a solution. Emmett was going to lose it. He loved Rosalie more than anything and having a child with her would launch him to the moon. I made a promise to myself to be the best uncle a child could have.

I think that meeting William helped as well. I had a connection with that kid. He made me feel things I never thought I would ever feel again. He made me realize that hope is not lost. I called Garrett because I _hoped_ he would help me face my demons. It wasn't only Kate's words or Emmett's threats that drove me. Deep down, I hoped I would be able to help me… find the person I had long buried.

A child's cry took me out of my thoughts. I searched the source and saw that a little girl had fallen down. Her mother tried to sooth her only to make her cry even more. Looking at the time, I decided to get some coffee from the deli opposite the park. Making sure my radio was working properly, I ran to the shop.

As I made my way back, I was nearly knocked down by a dog. My heart accelerated as I realized that it was Sandler. I crouched to his level and scratched him behind his ear. "Hey there, buddy." He put his front leg over my hand and pushed his head in my hand even more. I searched the place to see if I could see William but he wasn't there. "Are you alone here? Where's Will?" The dog barked and ran. I decided to follow him.

That was when I saw him. A few feet away, he was sitting under a tree with his eyes closed, listening to music. It was then when I realized that I hadn't seen him for almost a month. I paused for a few seconds so I could get a good look. His hair had grown a bit since the last time I saw him. I checked his face to see if there were any signs that he got into trouble again, but there were none. Sandler was prancing around me, wiggling his tail happily at his achievement.

"Good boy," I said and approached William.

I stood in front of him, blocking the sun. "Oh man," he groaned and I smiled with his dissatisfaction. He opened his eyes and when he saw me, they widened a little, blushing at the same time.

"Hey kiddo," I smiled.

"Hi," he mumbled, taking out his headphones.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked, hoping that he wouldn't run.

"Um, no," he said. I sat down on the ground next to him and took off my hat.

"How have you been, William?"

"Okay. Busy with school and stuff," he said. "You?"

"I've been coping as well," I smiled. "I heard the message you left."

He nodded and looked straight ahead. He opened his mouth a couple of times before he spoke. "I'm really sorry, you know."

"Don't," I sighed. "William, you need to understand something. I was trying to protect you that night. I didn't know if that man was armed or not. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something had happened to you," I said and waited for him to talk. When he didn't say a word, I continued. "Yes, I was angry with you. I told you that you weren't allowed to follow me to work and yet you did. My profession is dangerous. You don't know when a bad guy will show up."

"It's okay, I understand," he said and looked at me, smiling sadly.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked. He nodded.

"Why did you try to hold me back?"

He chewed his lower lip and within seconds I blocked my mind from flying to places that were forbidden. He frowned and looked at the ground. "I was afraid."

"I wouldn't let anyone harm you, you know that right?" I asked him.

"I was afraid that you might get hurt," he whispered.

I froze. He was afraid for me?

"What?"

"You're my… friend," he said. "Isn't what friends do? Be there for their friends?"

"Yes, but not when it is stupid," I said calmly.

"Is it stupid to help a friend?"

"Touché," I chuckled. "Nevertheless, the next time I say no it's no, okay?"

He smiled. "Can I ask you some personal questions?"

"Am I allowed to not answer if I don't want to?"

"Sure," he said.

"Shoot then."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," I said and drank a sip of my coffee.

"Why aren't you married?" The small smile I had on my face left instantly. "You can pass this one if it's uncomfortable to answer."

"Nah," I started. "I wanted to when I was younger. Not anymore. It's because," ' _Because the woman I grew to love never really existed,_ ' I thought to myself. "I never found someone to love that much," I said, looking anywhere but at him.

He frowned a little. "Maybe someday you'll find her."

' _Don't think so kiddo,_ ' I thought to myself.

"Does a police officer make a good living?" he asked.

"It varies between ranks. For us, its fifty-five grand a year."

"Is that enough?" he asked shyly.

I chuckled. "I manage just fine."

"Good."

"Why are you asking me these questions?" I asked curiously.

"It's only fair to know a few things about you as well, no?"

"You're right," I said. "What's your next question?"

"If you had to choose, would you rather be rich and have anything you ever wished for or poor and live the best you can?"

"That's a tricky one," I smiled at him.

"Why?"

"Because if I were to choose rich, then I'd sound like a greedy man. If I were to choose poor, then I'd sound like a saint. I'm neither."

"Choose from your heart," he said, looking into my eyes.

' _Oh I have. A very long time ago,_ ' I thought. "I'd choose poor and try to live the best I could," I started. "Money isn't important. The important part is how hard you try to achieve your goals, like your mom and your Godmother have been doing all these years. Your mom could have easily take the little money she was offered and yet she didn't because she wanted to make it on her own," I continued. "Some may think of it as stupidity, but to me it's a very strong example for you. I think that people who have money are miserable. Most of them never realize if they are being approached because of the size of their bank account or because of who they are. People can be very deceiving," I finished.

Something changed in his demeanor. He narrowed his eyes for a brief moment and got up. I furrowed my brows as he started pacing before stopping in front of me. "Edward, I want to tell you so-" He never got to finish as we heard a man screaming.

"I am going to kill you, you motherfucker," someone yelled and a gun shot rang out.

William screamed along with the people who were running in various directions. He hid behind me and grabbed my forearm really tight. I had to get him out of here. I started moving backwards until we were behind the bushes.

"William," I whispered. "I want you to listen to me really carefully. I need you to run and not look back. Can you do that for me buddy?" Tears started brimming in his eyes but he said nothing. "Can you d-"

Another shot rang out and I heard a man wailing in pain. That did it. He clenched his fists in my shirt. "Please, don't go. Please, please, please."

"William, you need to leave, now!" I said and tried to pry his hands off my shirt.

"N-no."

"I told you to stay away from me, you son of a bitch and you didn't," the other man screamed. "I told you I would kill you if you didn't!"

This was getting out of hand. "William, I am trained for this. Leave now!" I said and pushed him back. "Go!" I said and I started walking in the gunman's direction, behind the tree lines.

The man stood above the victim and placed his gun at the top of his head. Shit, I had to act fast. I quickly took out my gun and moved faster, trying not to make a sound. Unfortunately the crunching of the leaves I stepped on made him look in my direction. I stopped dead in my tracks and waited until he averted his eyes from my spot. But he didn't.

"If you don't come out of there, I will blow his brains!" he man growled. "I am gonna count to fucking three! One… Two…"

Shit! In one stride, I was out in the open. I raised my arms over my head, my gun clearly visible in my right hand "Easy there man," I said, as I tried to calm my pounding heart. Instead of trying to think of a way to disarm him, I had only one thought in my head.

Had Will managed to leave?

"Easy? This piece of shit here managed to destroy my life, and you ask me to take it easy?" he seethed. As I glanced at the man on the ground, I saw that he was shot on his left calf. He got distracted for a second and so I decided to take a step forward but he caught me.

"I wouldn't do that!" he said angrily. "Not when I have the upper hand. Drop it or I'll kill him!"

I closed my eyes and did as he said. "You don't want to do this," I said. "Why do you want to ruin your life?"

"Ruin my life? He already did that! He took everything I had!" he yelled and pressed the barrel of the gun to the victim's head. "I warned him!" he continued, with his finger closing around the trigger.

Had he left?

"What's your name?" I asked in a feeble attempt to distract him.

"Bill," he barked.

"Okay Bill, this is the deal. The police have already been informed about the gun shot and they'll be here any minute n-"

"I know the fucking deal, officer," he seethed. "Do I look like someone who cares?"

"Bill, put the gun down. You're already facing a lot of time in prison," I said.

"I don't care! I have nothing left!"

I took a step closer to him. "Yes you have. You can take him to court and get everything back." Another step.

"No. He doesn't deserve to live!"

Everything happened so fast. One moment I was ready to launch myself at him and the next I felt an excruciating pain in my shoulder that knocked me to the ground.

"No!" I heard someone scream.

"Shit!" Bill hissed and started running.

I had no idea how long I lay on the ground: maybe seconds, maybe minutes. I felt a small pressure against my shoulder and whimpering, but I was too exhausted to open my eyes.

"…please…"

"…don't d-d-die."

"…found you."

"No, please…"

I felt someone grabbing my radio calling for help. The voice was muffled between cries and hiccups to understand.

"Okay," he whispered. I slowly opened my eyes and I saw a blurry form above me, straddling my waist. I felt more pressure on my shoulder and it hurt like fucking hell.

"Open your eyes," he cried. The voice was getting clearer. "Don't leave me, please," he continued to cry.

"Wi…"

"Help is coming," he said and more tears rolled down his cheeks.

"G-go!" I said.

"I'm not leaving you!" he hiccuped.

"N… n-not safe! G-go!" I stammered as the pain was getting unbearable.

"You're hurt! I am not leaving you!" he said forcefully as I heard the sirens.

I grabbed his hand. "Listen to me! They will take you down to the station and ask you q-… Fuck!" I said as I tried to move. I hated to be in pain. "T-they'll ask you questions! Please, go!" I said, as the sirens were getting closer.

I tried really hard not to show the pain I was feeling without much success. However, I managed to get up and stand on my knees. "Look, I'm up. Now go!" That was when I noticed his appearance.

He had taken his sweater off and it was next to him on the ground, covered with blood. His hands were bloody as well and there were a couple of drops on his t-shirt. He grabbed the sweater and moved to put more pressure on the wound.

"Here, let me…" he started but I cut him off by grabbing the sweater.

"On the other side of the park, behind the bench, there's a faucet. Go wash your hands and go home. I'll be fine," I said and handed him the bloody sweater as we heard the screeching wheels. "Throw the sweater in a trash can, away from the park, okay?" I instructed and he nodded. "Now go. He got up and started running. When he was finally out of my sight, I fell back on the ground, breathing heavily.

"I found him," I heard Victoria call. "Edward, can you hear me?" I groaned when I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Take it easy. The medics are on their way."

The ambulance arrived. The paramedics ran and started giving me first aid. They bandaged the wound the best they could but I knew it was bad. It must have hit something because the bleeding wouldn't stop.

"Shit! Call St. Joseph and give them an ETA. He needs surgery immediately," a man said quickly as they loaded me in the ambulance.

**-Ж-**

_Beep… beep… beep…_

"Male, gunshot to the right shoulder. No exit wound. BP: 90/65, HR: 130 bpm," someone said.

"On three. One, two, three," a woman said and I felt someone lifting me.

"Did you page her?" someone asked.

"She's on her way," a woman said. "Shit! It's still bleeding. Get hemostatic gauzes and page the anesthetist."

A door swung open. "What do we hav… Oh my God!"

"Do you know him?" a man asked.

The voice sounded familiar but for some reason, I feared it. "C-call Garcia. I'll need help."

"But B…"

"I said call Garcia. I need a Doppler and an X-ray now," the woman said.

I opened my eyes very slowly and the bright light hurt my eyes. Despite the pain, a couple of seconds later I opened my eyes again and the last thing I remembered before I passed out for good, was a pair of dark brown eyes looking down at me…

No!


	8. Hell in the Eyes of an Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

" _A skateboard?_ _Seriously Edward?" my angel asked me._

" _I took it while Emmett was sleeping. Come on! It'll be fun!" I exclaimed. "I promise I won't let you fall."_

" _Edward you_ do _know I fall on thin air, right? I will end up with a broken limb if not two."_

_Ten minutes later and after a lot of complaining, s_ _he managed to stay straight on the board and rolled down. "Look Edward! This is so fun!"_

" _I told you so, didn't I?" I chuckled._

_There was a small downhill and the board started going faster._ _"Um, Edward? This is going a bit faster now… Edward! Edward!"_

_I ran to her in no time and right before she fell, I caught her. "See I told you that I would save you," I smiled down at her and kissed the tip of her nose._

" _My knight in shining armor! What would I ever do without you?" she giggled. "One day, I promise, I will return the gesture…"_

Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…

Ugh! That fucking noise…

Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…

Can someone make that fucking noise stop? Please!

"Are you sure you're okay, honey? You've been here since yesterday morning," a woman said.

Yesterday? Was Rosalie here? No, it can't be Rose… she and Emmett left for Forks to spend Thanksgiving with Ma.

"Yes," another woman replied. "Now go. I want to be alone with him when he wakes up," the voice said and sniffled.

There was a soft click on the door.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

I groaned as I realized that the damn thing was still on. What was this sound? I slowly opened my eyes and all I saw was darkness. I blinked a couple of times and realized that there was a soft light coming from the other side of the room. My mouth was dry and bitter and my body felt so heavy. What the fuck was wrong with me? I made a move and a searing pain ran through my right side.

"Fuck!" I hissed.

Everything came back to me instantly: the park, the talk with William, the gunman, me being down as the kid tried to help me.

Brown eyes staring at me….

"Calm down and please don't move," a voice said. I turned my head toward the voice and froze.

She was sitting in a chair at the far end of the room. I couldn't see her face clearly, but I knew it was her.

"Close your eyes for a second. I'm going to turn on the light," she said and got up.

I did as she asked and then slowly opened them again; she had resumed her position on the chair. She hadn't changed much. Her hair was still the same mahogany color I remembered. Her form was a little bit fuller and she still wore glasses.

"You were brought here yesterday morning after you were shot," she started. "There was a lot of blood coming from the wound. At first, I was afraid that the bullet had hit the Axillary artery, but we managed to stop the bleeding after a couple of minutes. After the Doppler came out clean and the X-Rays showed no trauma to the bone either, we knew for sure that the bullet was stuck in your muscle," she continued without looking at me. "The muscle is in a good condition but you'll be out of work for at least three months and will require physiotherapy to be able to function again."

The monitor was beeping frantically at that point. She could have been speaking complete gibberish for all I knew. I was too busy looking at her, watching her every move as if she would disappear again. The one part I did hear was the 'three months out of work' part. Ha! That was a fucking joke. What was I supposed to do for three months? Knit myself a fucking sweater? She got up from the chair and approached me to silence the alarm without sparing me a glance. It was unbelievable. At some point I thought I was dreaming, hallucinating. But I wasn't. Not when I felt her hands on my chest as she was about to remove the monitor patches.

"Don't touch me," I hissed. She flinched and took a step back. Twelve years without a word and all of a sudden she stands before me, talking about my injury. It took her so little to leave me. And now… of all the hospitals in the whole country, she was in mine. Why did she have to walk into mine?

"Ed…"

"Get the fuck out of here!" I spat.

"I'm not leaving," she said, and for the first time I was able to see her eyes clearly. They were red and had circles under them.

"Get out!" I said louder.

"No," she said and picked up my chart to write something down.

"Get out," I hollered right as a nurse entered my room.

"What is going on here?" she asked.

"I want her to leave this room and never come back," I growled.

"Dr. Swan, I think it's preferable if you leave the room. I'll page you if you're needed," she said calmly. "He just woke and he needs to be calm. It will only prolong his recovery if he's stressed, you know that," the middle aged woman said.

With one last look in my direction, she left the room. The nurse came to my side, took my blood pressure, temperature and checked my IV.

"Do you feel any pain, Mr. Cullen?" she asked.

' _More than you can imagine_ ' I thought to myself. "No. I want to see the doctor in charge!"

"You need…" she started, but I cut her off.

"Listen lady, I am crazy enough to rip every wire from me and walk out of the fucking room. I want to see my doctor now!"

"She just left the room," she spoke in the same calming, irritating tone.

"What?" I asked.

"You were brought here when Dr. Swan was on duty. She was the one who performed the surgery along with Dr. Garcia. I don't know why but after they were done with you, she handed the rest of the patients to Dr. Garcia and stayed with you. You could at least have been more polite, you know," she said and checked my bandages.

What the fuck did she just say? She was here?

"Whatever. I need to speak with someone who knows my case- anyone other than her, now!"

"I am afraid it's not possible. It's one in the morning. Dr. Garcia will be here at ten to do rounds. You can talk to him then," she said and pushed a needle in the IV wire. "Good night now…"

Before I knew it, I was out again…

**-Ж-**

"Good Morning, sunshine." I yawned and opened my eyes. Victoria and Marcus were sitting on either side of my bed.

"Do you have some sort of deal with the Reaper, you ass?" she chuckled. I flipped her off with my good hand and Marcus laughed.

"See? I told you the jerk was going to be just fine," he said and smiled.

"What time is it?" I asked with a hoarse voice.

"It's after eleven in the morning," Vic said. "We came here just when the doctors were leaving your room."

"Shit! I need to talk to him. I need to get out of here," I growled and made a move to get up, only to be pushed down again.

"Whoa! Take it easy," Marcus said. "You're not going anywhere. You just got out of surgery and need to rest."

"Marcus you don't understand. I _need_ to leave," I repeated and gave him a meaningful look.

"I am going to get some coffee," Victoria said suddenly. She must have sensed that I wanted to talk to Marcus. "Want some Sarge?"

"Sure Vic," he said and she left the room. "Care to tell me that this is all about?" he asked.

I sighed and clenched my hair in my fist. "Was there a brunette with long hair and glasses among the doctors? Around 5'5"?"

"Yeah," he said.

"That woman was her," I said.

"Her?" he asked.

"Yes, Marcus. Her, _her,_ as in Bella 'her'." I growled.

He widened his eyes. "Are you serious?" he asked.

"Do you think I would fucking joke about that?" I snapped. "I don't want to see her and she is supposedly the doc in charge of my file. I need to talk to the Chief so he can release me."

"Edward, you can't leave the hospital just yet. You need to take medications and check on the wound and…"

"Why can't you see that I have to go? I don't want to be around her, I don't want to breathe the same air she does!"

"Okay, okay. Calm down. Listen, I will go find the doctor and ask him to give you another doctor. Spend the day here and tomorrow we'll see what can be done. Oh, I almost forgot," he said trying to change the subject.

"What?"

"That Jackson kid stopped by the station yesterday afternoon. I went by after I left here and he was waiting for me."

"Who?" I asked.

"Are you having memory issues now as well?" he chuckled. "The Jackson kid, the one who asked to follow you around for his essay. He wanted to talk to you about arrest procedures. I told him that you were involved in a small accident and that they had you here," he finished.

So Jackson was his last name. He was so clever. He wanted to find out where I was and made up a story.

"Did he say anything?" I asked.

"He said that he would come to see you at some point. He was really upset to learn you were hurt and that you needed surgery."

"Did you call Emmett?" I asked after a while.

"I tried but his cell was out of reach and there was no response at your Mom's."

"Well don't. Since I didn't die, there's no need to upset him," I said.

"You can't be serious. He's your brother," he said incredulously.

"Did you catch him? The one who did this to me?" I asked.

"Yes. Unfortunately it wasn't without some effort. He's on the third floor. We had to take him down because he started shooting in every direction. I have him with Peter."

"Is he bad?" I asked.

"No. The asshole got the bullet in his ass," he chuckled.

"Did anyone interrogate him?" I asked. I needed to know if he said anything about William.

"He won't speak," he said. "Anyway, listen. I need to go. I'll get Victoria on my way out. You stay calm and everything will be sorted out, okay?" I nodded. "You scared the shit out of me, man. Don't do that again. I told Esme I'd keep you safe and I am failing so far."

"Shit!" I groaned.

"What? Are you in pain? Want me to get a nurse?" he said and got up from the bed.

"No. Ma is going to have a coronary when she hears the news."

The door flew open and Victoria came in holding two cups of coffee. "Asshole, I love you but the next time I pay a visit, it will be at your house. The coffee sucks here," she said, taking a sip from her cup as she handed Marcus the other.

"Whatever," I smiled.

"Come on kid," Marcus said. "Let's go and catch some bad guys," he continued. "You stay in bed," he instructed, pointing a finger on me.

They left and I was alone. I was relieved to hear that he didn't say anything about Will. I didn't want Will to go through the questioning as to whys and the hows, and I knew what I had to do to keep the shooter from mentioning anything about him. If he was to give a description of the kid, Marcus would know it was William. He'd already heard him talk through the radio and I was curious as to why he didn't mention a thing. Maybe he didn't realize it was Will. If so, I was lucky. Will was a witness and would be brought in for questioning. His mother would find out and never allow him to see me again because of the danger. I couldn't let that happen.

When I was about to uncover myself, I noticed a tube on the side of the bed. I lifted the bed sheet a bit more and I realized that it was a urine catheter. I, Edward Cullen, had a catheter in my junk, like an old man. I grabbed the nurse button and pressed it repeatedly. Seconds later, a young girl entered my room.

"Good morning, sir. How can I help you?" she asked with a smile. She couldn't have been more than nineteen.

"Miss, I want this thing out of me," I said pointing to the tube. "I'm in perfect condition to go and pee in the toilet!"

"Sir-"

"No 'sir'," I cut her off. "I want it out."

She went to the phone, punched a number and put it down again. "I'm not authorized to make that decision. The doctor will be here in a sec and will tell me what to do."

I closed my eyes and waited patiently. I needed this thing out in order to go and talk to him. The door opened again and I wished it never did.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked in a concerned tone. I nearly threw up with her pretence.

"Mr. Cullen wants his urine catheter out. I tried to explain but he wouldn't let me."

"It's okay, Bree," she said and smiled. "I'll take care of it." The girl left and we were alone. I was about to open my mouth, but she raised her hand.

"It's procedure to administer a catheter. Almost all patients who need surgery have one. We had to see if you're withholding fluids, plus you wouldn't be able to move for a couple of days. We'll remove it since there was no indication of retention. Just take it easy when you get up. A nurse will help you to the toilet when you want to go. Don't try on your own because you might get dizzy and fall."

"I want to leave," I said looking anywhere but at her.

"No," she said quickly. "You have to stay for at least…"

"I don't want to be here, _Dr. Swan,_ " I snapped. "I want to go home. I'll sign the papers."

"You can do that tomorrow then. You will stay here for observation and then you can sign whatever you want. For now, I'm going to send an intern to remove your catheter," she said and left.

"And the IV" I yelled as she closed the door. Minutes later, a guy came into my room.

He removed the tube and the drip, leaving the only the IV line because I was supposed to get a few more dosages of antibiotic and pain killers. I was fine with that. Once he left, I tried to get up to go to the toilet. I moved too fast though and it made me a bit dizzy.

"Shit!" I hissed and sat back down. I took a few breaths through my nose and tried to stand up again. "Piece of cake." Beside the monitor, I saw that there was a small duffle bag. I opened it and saw that there were clothes: sweat pants, a couple of Chicago PD t-shirts and boxers. Fifteen minutes and uncountable hisses and fucks later, I was dressed.

My priority at that moment was to make sure that the dipshit on the third floor kept his fucking mouth shut about the kid. Once I settled that thing, I would think about the rest. I opened the door and started walking the corridor, when a shout made me stop.

"Where do you think you're going?"

It was that girl, Brianna or whatever her name was. "To get some water," I growled. "Is that a problem?"

"Dr, Swan said…"

"I don't give a shit what Dr, Swan said. I want some water- I go fetch it, understood?" I said angrily.

The girl nodded her head frantically and practically ran down the corridor. Using the elevator, I reached the third floor and saw Peter sitting on a chair outside the dipshit's room.

"Hey rookie," I smiled.

"What in God's name are you doing out of bed, Officer Cullen?" he asked a shocked look on his face. After almost two years in the same department, he still addressed me officially.

"I was allowed to get out of bed and came to see you. How are you, Peter?"

"I- I'm okay. You?"

"I survived, didn't I?" I laughed. "How long have you been here?"

"Since six. I replaced Alec," he sighed and rubbed his forehead. It was now or never.

"Well, since I'm here, why don't you go and grab something to eat? You must be starving. I'll watch him."

"B-but he shot you! I can't let you do that, sir."

"Rookie, I've been around this block many times. Besides you know I'm not going to hurt him, fresh out surgery. I'm practically handicapped."

He looked at me warily for a few moments and nodded. "O-okay," he stammered. "I'll be back in less than five."

Once Peter was out of sight, I opened the door and entered. Had I been more lucid, I might have thought twice about doing this. However, the combination of my physical and emotional state - not to mention the pain killers in my system - was preventing clear, logical thinking.

He was prone on bed and couldn't see me. I locked in the door and in three strides, I was at his side. I grabbed his hair with my left hand and lifted his head while I shut his mouth with the other hand. Now, saying that I didn't feel a thing would be big lie. When he saw me, his eyes widened.

"A little bird told me that you haven't spoken a word to the authorities yet. Breathe a word about the kid in the park and I swear to God that I'll make sure you'll be every inmate's bitch in the joint. Oh, and I never came to this room! Got that you piece of shit?" I growled in his ear, pulling his hair even harder.

He nodded and with a sharp move, I let his head fall on the pillow. I unlocked the door and got out of the room as Peter was coming around the corner, shoving a sandwich down his throat. My stomach decided to growl in protest at that moment.

"Thanks for that sir," he said as he chewed.

"No need to thank me," I smiled. "Well I better get going. Its lunch time so I suppose a chicken soup or something waits for me. See you around Peter," I said and left.

On my way down, I started feeling really dizzy. I grabbed the bar in the elevator and tried to support myself. I started sweating bullets and my vision was getting blurry. The doors opened and I was making my way back to my room when my legs started shaking.

"Fuck," I said, trying to support myself with no success this time. I fell to the floor with a thud.

I heard her voice and then hurried steps. "Edward!"

"I need a wheel chair," she ordered loudly. "You're bleeding! What did you do!"

"You care now?" I spat.

Before I knew it, I was on my bed with my shirt cut open. "Almost half of the stitches are out. What did you do?" she asked frustrated before she started throwing out orders. "Paul, I need blood sample. RBC, WBC, PLT and Iron. Susan, bring me the cart and a suture kit," she said and vanished to the bathroom.

I heard the faucet and realized she was washing her hands. She came out with a determined look on her face. I realized then that she wasn't wearing her scrubs but normal clothes. Had she left and come back, or was she about to leave? ' _What's it to you?_ ' a voice said in my head. ' _Rip her a new one! She destroyed your life!_ '

"I am going to take the sample to the lab," the guy said. Then he took off his gloves and left.

"I'm going to clean the wound, remove the broken stitches and then numb the area to put in new ones," she said quietly.

"Since I can't get rid of you, do what you have to do and get out of my sight!" I hissed.

She said nothing and started working on my shoulder. The nurse had long gone and we were alone. Every time her hands touched me, my skin burned. I hated that she still affected me. I hated that she had to be the one to take care of me right at this moment. What I hated the most was that her face, from the moment I woke up, would be imprinted on my brain forever.

A few minutes later, she tied the last stitch. "I need to wrap you with the bandage. Can you please sit up and raise your hands to your sides a little?" she asked. As I made a move to sit, she spoke hurriedly. "Slowly! You'll get dizzy again. Here, let me help y…"

"Don't!" I said through clenched teeth.

"I'm just trying to he-"

"You did more than help me, already. Don't feel obligated!"

"I never said that it's-"

"Can you put the fucking bandage on and get out? I want to sleep!"

She sighed and started wrapping me. She was so close and her scent… her scent was still the same and so powerful: chamomile and lavender. I didn't know if I wanted to ravish her or rip her apart. Why did she have to appear now, just when I was starting to realize things about myself?

' _All you have to do is ignore the fact that you saw her. This doesn't mean anything. Once you heal, you can go back to the way you were,_ ' the voice in my head advised me. ' _Pretend she never existed…_ '

A small gasp, barely audible brought me out my thoughts. She was standing behind me setting the bandage when I felt her finger tips tracing my tattoo. I flinched and groaned instantly with the movement. She'd better not ask about it. She had no reason to ask and most importantly she didn't deserve the answer. The meaning of it was only for me.

Once she settled the sling, she looked at me. "Is it too tight?" she asked.

"No."

"Okay," she said. "You can't move your hand," she finished and started cleaning the cart.

"Do you have to do that in here?" I asked, irritated.

"No," she replied and continued cleaning.

What the fuck was she trying to do? Piss me off even more? "Then why the fuck are you still here?" I growled.

"I won't be back until tomorrow and I want to make sure that the bleeding stopped," she said in a low voice. "Look I know this is diff-"

"Difficult?" I seethed. "That doesn't even begin to cover how I feel right now! All I want is for you to get lost and to never see your face again. Is that too much to ask, _Dr. Swan_?" I finished venomously. She stood frozen, shocked by my words. After what seemed like ages, she gathered the things and left without a second look.

Trying to distract myself, I grabbed the TV control and started channel-surfing until I settled in a re-run of 'We Were Soldiers Once.'

****-Ж-** **

"Does it hurt him when you do that?" I heard someone ask in a whisper.

"No sweetheart," a woman chuckled. "I gave him a pain killer so he won't hurt when he wakes up."

"Oh, okay."

There was a pause. "Odd," she said.

"What?"

"I could swear that you have the same eyes."

"N-no, we don't. I got my eyes from my… aunt. Yes, my aunt."

"Strange. Anyway, I'm heading to see the rest of the patients. He'll be waking up soon. If he needs anything press the button, okay?"

"Yes," he whispered.

I kept my eyes shut. "You can open your eyes now. She's gone," William said.

I smiled. "How did you know I was awake?" I asked and opened my eyes. My heart broke at the sight before me. William's eyes were puffy with circles beneath them, full of sorrow and concern.

' _Like hers. The only difference is that William's concern is genuine,_ ' I thought.

The moment our eyes met, he started crying. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked as I sat properly on the bed.

"I- I was s-s-so, so scared," he cried. "I thought I'd never see you again," he continued. "I- I waited until… until the ambulance arrived. I know you t-told me to g-go but I had to make s-sure they had you."

My eyes started burning. William was just a kid I had absolutely no connection with and he was crying for me. He was scared for me. Good God, what was this kid doing to me? Without thinking twice, I reached out and grabbed his elbow.

"Come here," I said and hugged him with one arm. I felt a sting in my shoulder from the sudden movement but I didn't give a shit. He was more important. "Shh, I'm fine," I said.

He excused himself for a minute and went to the bathroom to wash his face. "I'm sorry for crying all the time. It's a habit I got from my mom," he frowned.

"Don't worry about it," I smiled. "Who brought you here? It's a bit far from your house."

He blushed and shifted in his seat. "I skipped Tae Kwon Do-," he started but I cut him off.

"William…"

"It's two blocks away from here and I wanted to see you, so don't tell me it was a mistake and that I shouldn't have skipped! I would do it all over again if I had to and no one can tell me not to!" he said angrily with fresh tears forming in his eyes.

"Did you tell your mom?" I asked, surprised by his tone.

"No," he said.

"Did someone tell you not to come here?" I asked, trying to find out the source of his mini explosion.

"Pass?"

"Okay, kiddo," I replied, not wanting to upset him even more. "How was school today?"

"I don't know," he said.

He skipped school. "Did you skip school as well?" I asked sternly. He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to go! I wasn't feeling well," he mumbled.

"Did you skip school because of me?" I asked.

"No. I needed to finish my essay," he lied.

"You're lying."

"I am," he said and paused. "I just wasn't in the mood. I wanted to come to see you but my mom was at work, and if I skipped without telling her, she would be pissed and ground me for life. So I waited until she got back and told her that I skipped school."

"Does your mom let you skip school?" I asked surprised.

"Twice a year," he said and his lips started forming a small smile. "She says that it's healthy to skip school from time to time."

" _Bella, you can't just ditch Bio," I said. "It's important to you since you want to become a doctor."_

" _Oh, come on! Look at the sun Edward! How many times a year do we get to see it here?"_

" _Bellaaaa," I whined. "Mike ditched too. I saw him leaving. Banner will team me up with Jessica if you don't come."_

" _Then skip Bio with me. It's healthy to skip school once or twice," she grinned and kissed the corner of my mouth._

"This was my first out of two," he whispered and sniffled.

"Thank you," I said.

"Why?" he asked and looked at me.

"For making me your first skip," I smiled and he beamed at me.

My phone started ringing at that moment. I searched around but I couldn't see it.

"Here," Will said, and handed me the duffle bag.

"Jesus," I said as I saw the ID caller.

"What?" he asked.

"It's my Ma," I said. "Wanna hear her?"

He smiled and nodded. I patted the bed next to me and he came and sat down. I accepted the call and put her directly on speaker.

"Hey, Ma," I said and winked at William.

" _Edward, where have you been? I've been trying to call you for two days,_ " she chided.

"I've been working the night shift. You know that I'm dead to the world when I work that shift," I lied easily and William looked at me and raised his eyebrow.

" _I know baby,_ " she said. " _Emmett and Rosalie are here. I've been cooking like a maniac. I'm afraid that she adopted Emmett's appetite. Of course she would since they live under the same roof,_ " she continued. " _Have you made plans for Thanksgiving?_ "

"Nah, I'll probably be working."

Right at that moment, the door opened and before I had the chance to say anything, the nurse started talking. "Time to measure your vitals, Mr. Cullen."

That was when all hell broke loose.

" _Edward Anthony Cullen, tell me right this instant where you are!_ " she screeched.

"Shit!" I whispered and William bit his lip to prevent him from laughing. "Can you give me a moment please?" I asked, looking at the nurse.

"I'll go to the other patients and come by later," she smiled and left.

" _Patients! Edward where are you?_ " she said again with a shaky voice.

"Ma, I'm fine. I'm at the hospital. I had a small accident at work. Nothing to worry about," I lied again.

" _When?_ "

"Two days ago. It's nothing."

" _What small accident keeps you for two days at the hospital?_ " she asked.

I sighed knowing that it would be worse if I kept it from her. "I'll tell you but you have to promise me that you'll keep it together, okay? As you can hear, I'm perfectly fine."

She started crying before I even started talking again. " _Oh my God! Please, please tell me that you weren't shot! Please,_ " she pleaded over the phone.

"It just graz…"

" _Oh God, my baby! Emmett! Emmett!_ " she hollered.

" _Ma!"_ Emmett yelled from a distance. His voice got louder as ran down the stairs. _"What's wrong?"_

" _Y-your brother,_ " she wailed.

" _What? Edward what?_ " he said quickly.

" _He g-got s-sh… Oh god! He got shot!_ "

There was a deadly silence. William looked at me curiously and I put a finger on my mouth to keep him from saying anything.

One…

Two…

Three…

The kid almost jumped out his skin when a loud crash came from the other end of the phone.

" _God damn it! I knew I shouldn't have left. What happened? Is that Marcus on the phone?_ "

" _It's Edward,_ " she cried.

" _Edward, are you okay? What happened? Where were you shot?_ " he asked in one breath.

"I'm fine, Em," I started. "Some jerk shot someone. I tried to ambush him and he caught me. I tried to calm him but he was wild. When I was about to launch at him, he shot me in the shoulder," I continued. He took a deep breath. "The EMT's came and brought me to St. Joseph's. Dr. Garcia operated on me. The bullet was stuck in my muscle. I need to be out of work for at least three months and do some physio," I finished and waited for his outburst… which never came.

" _I'm hopping on the first pl…_ "

"No. Stay there. I am being released tom…"

" _There is no way a doctor would do that. Due to the nature of your wound, you need to stay at least five days in the hospital for treatment!_ "

"I'm leaving as AMA Em," I sighed. "If I find a flight, I'll come to Forks."

" _It's not safe,_ " he said. " _What if you start bleeding?_ "

"Aren't you tired of what ifs'?" I asked irritated.

" _You're infuriating!_ " he growled.

I chuckled. "There's my brother!"

" _Not funny Edward! Not funny at all!_ "

"Okay, I give up!" Fuck that shit! I am taking the monster and driving my way there.

" _I'll be home in two days,_ " he said. " _I'll book the tickets now._ "

" _I'm coming with him!_ " Mom sobbed.

We talked for a bit more and soon we hung up the phone. After a lot of persuading, I told him that he didn't need to come. I gave him three days tops. Knowing Emmett, he would be on the first plane back home the day after Thanksgiving.

"It's getting late," William said. "I need to go home."

"How will you get there?" I asked.

"I'll take the bus. It won't take more than twenty minutes," he said and he started getting up.

At that moment, only one question was burned in my mind: when would I see him again?

"Can you do something for me?" he whispered without looking at me.

"Name it," I said instantly.

"Be safe…"

**-Ж-**

I woke up the next morning fairly early. I wanted to get out of here as fast as possible; preferably before she came. A nurse had informed me that Dr. Garcia was always the first one that showed up. Asking where his office was, I went with no hesitation and told him that I wanted to leave the hospital. Truth be told, he tried to persuade me a couple of times to stay at least one more day, but I would have none of that. He checked my shoulder, put me a sling and, after giving me a prescription for antibiotics and pain killers, I signed the form and left. Before I went home, I stopped at the neighborhood pharmacy to get my medication along with bandages, iodine and hydrogen peroxide for the wound.

As I stepped into my apartment, the phone started ringing. I didn't pick up knowing that it would be either Marcus or Emmett. And I wasn't wrong. The machine got the call and a furious Marcus spoke.

" _You stupid asshole! Why the hell did you leave the hospital, Edward? Your health is far more important than anyone! You should have stayed at least one more day!_ " he growled over the phone. I pressed the delete button without thinking twice.

I decided that after I slept for a few hours, I would hit the road to go to Forks. Normally it would take around thirty hours to get to Seattle, but with the work Rose did on the monster, I would make it in twenty seven. I took a painkiller just in case, prepared my travel bag, lay down on bed and drifted to sleep.

When I opened my eyes, it was already eight p.m. My stomach growled so I decided to eat some cereal before I left. I went to the bathroom, washed my face, and put on some music on my way to the kitchen. The answering machine was flashing…again. Right after I pressed the button, I wished I hadn't.

" _Edward,_ " she paused. My heart started pounding uncontrollably. I wanted to move and delete the message at once but by body was frozen. My brain was screaming at it to follow the order but nothing. I just stood there. " _Look, I know this is very difficult. Not only for you…_ "

I didn't listen to the rest of the message. How dare she call me? Who the fuck does she think she is? ' _The woman you used to love,_ ' the fucking voice said in my head. My hands were shaking in anger. The emotions I had long buried were struggling to come to the surface and fuck me if I was going to allow it. I was stronger than that.

I grabbed a glass from the kitchen and sat on the couch. I opened the bottle of Johnnie, filled half a glass and drank it in one gulp. I growled as it burned my throat. It had been a long time since I drank something that strong. I poured some more in my glass, closed my eyes and rested my head on the couch.

_And how can you mend a broken heart?  
How can you stop the rain from falling down?  
_ _Tell me, how can you stop the sun from shining?_

There was a soft knock on the door but I ignored it. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

_What makes the world go round?  
How can you mend this broken man?  
How can a loser ever win?  
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again_ _…_

"What ever you say Al," I mumbled to my self.

Another knock came from the door. Who ever it was had no intention of leaving. It was probably Marcus or Victoria. I drank the last sip and got up to open the door.

"I told you I'm f…" I said as I opened the door, freezing instantly on spot.

The anger started rising again, as if the one that was already boiling in me wasn't enough. She was standing in front of me, slightly wet from the drizzle that started not long ago, waiting… for what I had no idea.

"How did you find me?" I asked angrily.

"Hospital records," she said.

"Okay, you know where I live now. Anything else?"

"Edward, please. I just-"

"Just what?" I snapped. "Haven't you done enough?"

"Can I come in?" she asked, looking nervously at me. I opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing her to enter the house, and I'll be damned if I knew why I did it.

"You have a nice home, Edward," she said, looking around.

"Did you come here to appraise the way I decorated my apartment?" I asked as I poured more scotch in my glass.

"What are you doing?" she asked urgently, taking a step closer to me. "You are still taking medica…"

"Oh, save it Bella! Why the fuck are you here? I have more important things to do," I snapped.

"To talk," she said, and looked out the window.

Talk? About what? How she spent the money my family gave her?

"There is nothing to talk about. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl hook up. Girl breaks boy's heart and leaves. What is there left to say? Let me answer the question. Nothing," I said coldly.

She lowered her head and nodded. "I'm sorry Edward."

I lost it. "After twelve fucking years, all you have to say is 'I'm sorry Edward'?" I spat, making her flinch.

"Pl..."

"You broke me to fucking pieces! You threw away our life, our dreams, and all you say is sorry?" I yelled as I saw the tears brimming in her eyes.

What was she trying to accomplish? Why did she come here? To remind me of the money she willingly took from my family? How she sold our love for the bargain price of $30,000?

I could feel my chest heaving from anger and pain. Wasn't I enough for her? Wasn't my love strong enough?

"You've changed," she whispered after a while.

"The man you see now is your creation," I said, inhaling deeply as I turned my back on her. "There is nothing you can do to take away what you've done," I finished. I barely heard the door closing behind me.

As I heard the car pull out of the driveway, I smashed my glass against the wall. I wanted to cause damage. Why did she come here? Did she hope that by blinking a few faked tears away, I would open my arms to her? Did she want more money? What?

I sank down on the couch and held my face in my hands. Memories flooded my head, increasing my pain.

" _Edward?" she mumbled as she snuggled on my chest._

" _Yes, sweetheart?"_

" _Thank you," she said and looked at me._

" _What on earth are you thanking me for?" I chuckled._

" _For loving me," she said._

I quickly shook off the memory. It had been a while since I last thought about our past. I wouldn't allow myself to go back to the weak person I was when she left me… a wreck.

"Damn you, Bella Swan!" I growled. "Damn you and your fucking lies!"

I got up without thinking twice, grabbed my travel bag, car key and left the house…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AMA: Against Medical Advice


	9. Memory Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

It took me almost thirty minutes until I realized that I was in horrible shape to drive. My shoulder was fucking killing me and at some point I thought someone was trying to rip it off. I checked the bandage to see if there was any bleeding and when I saw it was clean, I made my way back home. I decided it was best if I flew to Seattle.

People say that when you want something so badly, the universe plots against you. I wanted to leave but couldn't; the airline reservationist told me the next available flight wasn't until the following day at noon. The idea of spending fourteen hours waiting to get the hell out of here sucked. I needed to leave! Angrier than ever, I cleaned up the broken glass and headed straight to bed.

Time evaporated. Surprisingly, I slept ten hours straight. I had a cup of coffee and decided to call home to check if they were still there. I knew that Emmett would try to find an earlier flight if he could. Ma answered the phone on the second ring.

" _Hello?_ "

"Morning, Mom," I smiled. I loved this woman so much.

" _Edward? How are you baby?_ "

"I'm fine. How about you?"

" _Not good. Emmett is still trying to find a flight back to Chicago. The one he found isn't until Friday,_ " she sniffled. That was good news.

"You don't need to come here, I managing just fine."

" _Edward, you're not and you know it. You need me and I_ need _to take care of my son! So don't tell me that you're managing just fine!_ " she exclaimed and started crying. I remained silent and waited for her to calm down. When she heard Emmett and Carlisle, she started all over again.

" _For fucks sake," Emmett growled, "your son was broken and all you cared about was the money you spent on his tuition and if you'd be able to get it back._ "

" _Broken? Over that little whore? Please! He should be happy that he found out before it was too late. That bitch took money to leave him. She was the one that came to us in the first place!_ "

" _Hold it!_ _I thought you were the one who asked her to come and meet you and that old sleaze ball you had for a father,_ " Emmett fired back.

" _Yeah, yeah,_ " he said. " _I, um, we called her and she came. That was what I meant when I said that she came to us in the first place,_ " he continued. " _I've been very patient with your brother. I put up with all the brooding, the lack of respect and anything that came along. But I'll never forgive him for transferring the money to your mother,_ " he finished.

" _Guys, I'm on the phone with Edward,_ " Ma said but they ignored her.

" _So that's it? That's why you didn't even ask if he was alive after we told you he was shot? You disavowed your son over fifty million?_ _That's so... disgusting_ _. It's moments like this that I wish I never knew you!_ "

" _Now you listen to me-_ " he began.

" _No! You listen: if you ever try to put my brother down again, you'll be sorry old man! Nothing you'll say will ever accomplish that. He may have changed but he's there! He's a human being and made his choices, bad or good ones. Among those decisions was the trust fund. He did what he wanted with it and you need to suck it up and keep your trap shut!_ "

" _You're just as insane as he is!_ " he hissed.

" _Runs in the blood!_ " Emmett fired back before I heard a door slamming.

" _I'm sorry,_ " Ma whispered.

"Don't worry," I said instantly. "It's nothing I didn't know already." I checked the time and saw that I needed to leave soon. "Ma, I need to go to the grocery store," I lied. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

" _Edward?_ "

"Yes?"

"I _love you more than my own life and that's all you need to know,_ " she whispered."

"Well, I love you more," I smiled over the phone.

" _Impossible,_ " she giggled sadly.

"Yeah, yeah," I chuckled.

" _Bye baby,_ " she said and hung up the phone.

One of the things I would do there was have a talk with that fucker. Someone needed to put him in his place and I would be the one who would do it. Whether he liked it or not!

**-Ж-**

The flight was delayed and finally, after six and a half hours, we landed to Sea Tac. I took a cab to the dock to get the ferry to Port Angeles. Another couple of hours later, I was walking around Forks.

I was a bit overwhelmed. Walking the same streets she and I used to walk when we ditched school or when we were on our first dates brought back so many memories.

" _Did you do all this all by yourself?" she asked and blushed._

_I nodded._

_On our first date I wanted something special but not so crowded. That was why I chose the Francis Street Park. It was nice and she could look at the sea. She always enjoyed talking about it._

" _All for me?" she asked._

" _I know you love the sea so…"_

_She threw herself at me and hugged me. "Thank you. It's beautiful…"_

" _It doesn't even reach the half of the beauty you have," I whispered in her ear. "Inside and out…"_

I sighed and opened my eyes. I knew that coming home would cause shit like this. I wanted a drink. Drinking always made these memories easier to handle.

A bar was at the end of the road. I went in and saw it wasn't crowded at all: a couple of drunks at the far end of the bar, the woman behind the bar and me. I could smell the cigarettes so I took out my mine, lit one and then the woman turned to take my order.

"Edward Cullen! What the hell are you doing here?" the woman smiled. She had brown hair, dark brown eyes (fuck my life indeed) and a vibrant smile across her face. I furrowed my eyebrows. She seemed familiar but I couldn't remember how I knew her.

"Do we know each other?" I asked.

"I'm Angela, you dumb ass! Angela Weber? From Forks High School? "

"Angie?" I smiled. She was the only girl in high school that never made fun of me or be a bitch to me. Probably because she was a nerd too.

She came out from behind the bar and hugged the hell out of me. "I can't believe you're here. Weren't you supposed to be living in Chicago or something?"

"Yeah. I've been there since graduation. How are you?"

She went back behind the bar, grabbed a bottle of scotch, two glasses and poured the golden liquid in them. "Well, I graduated and went to UW. English literature. But to my bad luck," she chuckled, "I didn't find a job. After a few years, Ben and I," she paused. "You remember Ben, right?" she asked and I nodded. "Well we got married. A couple of kids and a lot of bank loans later, we opened this place and we're managing just fine. How about you?"

"Oh, nothing important. Just trying to live the best I can," I smiled and ran my hand through my hair.

To avoid talking about me, I directed the discussion to stay focused on the bar and her kids. A bit later, she excused herself to go serve a few customers that had arrived while we talked. As I sat there alone, _she_ was all I could think about: the way she looked at me in the hospital, the fake concern, the pretence. I couldn't understand why she came back. I had been perfectly fine until she showed up. I kept drinking, trying to forget her.

"Traitor," I slurred as I thought of Charlie. He must have known that she was there and yet he hadn't said a thing. Why?

"Who's the traitor?" Angie giggled.

"Charlie fucking Swan!" I growled. "He knew that she was in Chicago and didn't say anything."

"Who?" she asked.

"Bella…"

"Oh boy…" she mumbled.

"You know after she l-left, I was broken. I-I loved 'er Angie, and she left me! Thirty grand is a lot of money! He was there for me," I hissed. "He tried to protect me and now…" I drained my glass.

"Did you know that I was rich and now I have nothing? Yes, that's right. I gave up all the money 'cuz the woman I fucking gave my soul to wanted only money. I was accepted to Dartmouth. And I was kicked out. Why? Because I couldn't focus on school. I drank myself to oblivion and fucked a different girl every night. Oh yeah! I failed almost every course because I was rude and drunk all the time. I was such a disgrace to my family," I chuckled as I remembered the time Carlisle and Grandpa came to Hanover.

" _What the hell is wrong with you, you idiot?" Carlisle growled._

" _Hello, to you too dad," I laughed, stumbling on my way to the couch._

" _Hello? Is that all you've got to say?" he spat._

_I laughed even more. "U-um how about this?" I slurred. "Dad, I know you missed me and all but right now I'm in the middle of getting a great education about the female body, if you know what I mean," I finished, wiggling my eyebrows._

" _You're disgusting! Do you know why we're here? To save your pathetic life! The Dean called us! Why the hell did you beat the shit out of that man?" he yelled._

" _I didn't like his face," I chuckled._

" _You're facing expulsion and you're laughing?"_

" _Why, yes father, as a matter of fact I am," I said feigning seriousness._

" _We took you in and this is how you repay us for everything we've done for you?" Grandpa started in a low but menacing voice. "You don't deserve to be a Cullen. You don't deserve the life and the goods we've provided you. You're a disgrace to this family!"_

" _Well then, why don't you do me a favor? Pick up the life and goods you provided me, shove them up your ass and get the fuck out of my room?"_

That was the last time my grandfather ever spoke to me. He tried really hard to revoke the trust fund but since it was deposited by my grandmother before she died, he couldn't do a thing. Not that I wanted the fucking money anyway.

"I packed up my stuff and flew to see Emmett. He still blames himself for choosing Chicago instead of Dartmouth. He said that had he been there with me, I wouldn't have done that," I said and took a swing of my scotch.

"Did you regret it?" Angie asked.

"Why should I?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Is smoking allowed in here?"

She laughed. "In case you haven't noticed, you're smoking already. To answer your question, no, but I let them. What's the point of drinking when you can't have a smoke?" she giggled. "As a matter of fact," she said, taking a packet from under the bar, "I'll have one myself. It's been too long since I had one."

"What if we get busted?" I chuckled.

"Let's just say that the authority is a friend of a friend," she said as she lit her own. "So what did you do when you reached Chicago?"

"I enrolled in community college. To become an officer, all I needed was to be 21 and have a college education. Emmett and I lived together so he somewhat helped me with the drinking problem. I drank a beer or two every few weeks tops and that was it. College passed quickly and soon I was employed with the Chicago PD. Once I moved out, the nightmares began," I said taking another gulp.

"What nightmares?" Angela asked.

I smirked. "You didn't try to learn anything about Emmett and me, did you?"

"Your life is private. I didn't think it was right," she said. "I just didn't want to know something that you didn't want to share."

"Thank you," I said, smiling at her. "Emmett and I come from an abusive family. I watched my dad murder my mother."

She gasped. "Edward, I am so sorry. I never knew that you've…"

"I'm over it," ' _The fuck you are,_ ' a voice said inside my head.

"How did you manage?" she asked.

"I was fine, until she left me. She was my refuge. Always there, helping me, loving me… If only I knew…" I said angrily finishing my drink. I grabbed the bottle and refilled my glass.

" _Can't you see_ _she's not worth the effort, you stupid boy?" Carlisle yelled. "She's after our money, Edward!"_

" _You don't know her. She's not the demon you describe! That angel loves me for who I am!"_

" _Love!" he mocked. "She might love your wallet but not you, you fool. It will never be you!"_

" _I hate you!" I yelled in his face, and without having time to react, he raised his hand and slapped me._

_The one moment he was standing in front of me and the next Emmett had him pinned to the floor._

" _If you ever dare raise your hand and touch him again, I will personally make sure you never see the day of the light again! Got that old man?" Emmett spat._

" _Emmett, baby, please," Esme sobbed. "Leave him alone."_

" _He isn't alone and you better imprint it on your brain," he hissed and got up._

_Emmett walked over to me._ _"Come on, Eddie," he whispered. "Let's get you to your room."_

" _Bella," I whispered low enough only to be heard by my brother._

_W_ _ithout a glance back at my father, I grabbed my car keys and left. My vision was blurry from the tears that pooled in my eyes. Once I got to her house, I knocked but no one was there. I sat on her porch and waited for her to come home. Five minutes later, she parked her beat-up truck on her driveway. My body was shaking by the time her eyes met mine._

" _Edward? Oh my God, baby_ _, what happened?" Bella asked frantically as she kneeled in front of me._

_I wrapped my arms around her waist so tightly, my knuckles became white as I sobbed hard into the crook of her neck._

" _Shh, I'm here," she whispered._

_Only after my cries subsided was she able to look at me. She gasped and ran her fingertips over my cheek and her eyes filled with tears almost instantly._

" _Who did this to you?" she demanded through her cries._

" _Carlisle," I sighed._

" _Why? What could you have done to earn this? He knows what you've been through!"_

" _We had a fight about my college education," I lied. I would never tell her that she was the subject and reason he slapped me._

" _Oh, Edward," she sniffled, enveloping me in her arms._

" _I love you," I said with a shaky voice. "I need you so much that it hurts when you're not around. I can barely breathe."_

_She took my face in her hands and forced me to look at her. "You are my heart, Edward. I would never hurt you!"_

_We went inside and straight to her room. She told me to lie down while she_ _made some tea. I fell asleep before she returned. A door opening woke me up. Even though I had my eyes closed, I could hear Bella talking to Charlie._

" _Daddy, please," she cried to Charli_ _e as I lay curled up on her bed. "Tell me so I can understand. Why did he do this to him?" she whispered. "He knows how fragile he is."_

" _Shh, baby girl. Everything will be fine," he said and I felt the bed shift a bit._

" _No Dad. No one knows better than me how much he struggled and still does. No one knows how scared he is of the dark every time he goes to bed. No one knows…" she whimpered and started heaving. "No one knows…"_

"What drives me insane is that she lied to me," I snarled drunkenly. "She pretended that she loved me, that she cared."

"Edward, Bella loved you, you know that," Angela said.

"Loved me? Ha-fucking-ha! She loved the wealth, Angie, not me," I snapped.

"No, I strongl…"

"Carlisle offered her money, Angela," I slurred and emptied my glass again. I poured some more, spilling a bit on the counter, and continued. "He offered her five grand and do you want to know what my _angel_ said? That she wouldn't compromise for less than thirty fucking thousand."

"W-what?" she stammered.

"You heard me! The woman I was ready to d-die for," I said as my eyes started burning. "The woman who gave me hope, the one who helped me face my demons, the one who brought me back to life, the only one I ever fucking l-lov…" I continued and at that point I was fairly sure I was hyperventilating.

" _Baby_ _, where are we going?" she giggled. It was the day of our prom. We didn't attend but I wanted her to get all dressed up. She wore a_ _light_ _grey satin dress with a chiffon overlay and a satin grey sash tied below the bust. Mom helped me choose her dress. I had Charlie give her the box and tell her that he had Sue buy it for him because I knew that she wouldn't have accepted it no matter how many hours I pouted or sulked._

_We would have our own prom in our special place… our meadow._ _I'd already set everything up._

" _You'll see," I smiled. When she saw that we were leaving Forks, heading to the woods, she knew._

_I blind_ _folded her and when I picked her up in my arms, she squealed. "Put me down, Edward. I'm heavy," she complained._

" _Please! My school backpack is heavier than you," I chuckled and I gained a light slap with the back of her palm over my chest. Once we reached the meadow, I set her down. "Don't take the blindfold off; I'll do it myself."_

_I lit the torches, set out the blanket with the small picnic I made and turned on the music. I made sure everything was perfect and then stood behind her. I untied the blindfold and kissed her shoulder. "Open your eyes," I whispered in her ear._

_A small gasp left her mouth. She turned around and faced me with glistening eyes. My God! There was nothing more beautiful in this universe than her._

" _Ms. Swan, would you do me the honor of dancing with me under the stars?" I smiled and she nodded just as 'My Girl' started. She always loved that song._

_We made love for the first time that night. I knew that she didn't enjoy it because of the pain she felt, but her eyes were filled with love the whole time. As we curled up in the sleeping bag, she sighed and kissed my chest._

" _Edward?" she mumbled as she snuggled closer._

" _Yes, sweetheart?"_

" _Thank you," she said and looked at me._

" _What on earth are you thanking me for?" I chuckled._

" _For loving me," she said._

"Now she's back. After t-twelvvve yrrs," I slurred and cleared my glass. "I managed to s-stay cohre, um.. croher… coerent for so long and now…" I choked. "She came to my house 'cuz ssshe wanted to talk. What was 'er to talk?" I asked and looked at her. She didn't meet my gaze though. She was looking over my shoulder and shook her head lightly.

"See? You agree with me. She left… again." I made a move to get the bottle, but she snatched it out of my hands.

"You've had enough Edward," she said gently.

"No, I want more!" I said and hit the counter with my fist. I grabbed my wallet with my other hand and took out all the cash I had on me. "I'm paying!" I spat. That was when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"That's enough son," I heard a traitorous voice say. When did he get here? How did he know?

I spun around on my stool and nearly fell off. "Look who decided to show up, Charlie-back-stabbing-Swan!"

"Edw-"

"No!" I growled. "I don't want to hear anything. You should have told me, Charlie! I decided to change my life and you knew it."

He didn't say a word. He sat on the stool next to me and let me continue my rant. "What the fuck am I gonna do now? Huh? Go back and pretended that I never saw her? I can't do that, I can't. Fuck!"

I grabbed my cigarettes and lit one with my shaky hands. Promises she made, flooded my head and it hurt like a mother fucking bitch…

_Edward no matter what life throw_ _s at us, always remember that I love you…_

_You're the only man that reached my heart. You'll always be the official key holder…_

"She was my fucking light," I said and I started crying. I couldn't remember the last time I cried. "She left and I was in the dark again," I whispered and fisted my hair in my hands. "I loved her Charlie, so fucking much," I continued to cry.

"I still do…"

**-Ж-**

I groaned as the sun hit my eyes. Where the fuck was I? I was sprawled across a very comfortable bed. I inhaled deeply and a familiar scent of vanilla and mint filled my lungs.

"Good morning, baby," Ma said.

Ma?

I turned around and instantly cursed when I felt the pain in my shoulder. The headache was excruciating as well. "The sun," I groaned. Mom giggled, got up from the armchair and closed the curtains. I opened one eye and saw that she was wearing her nightgown and a pillow along with a blanket were folded on my couch.

"Would you like a painkiller, sweetheart?" she asked softly. I nodded and she reached on my night stand, taking one of the boxes in her hand.

I sat on the bed and took the pill she gave me. I wasn't wearing a shirt and I saw that my bandage was changed as well.

"Emmett tended to your wound last night after Charlie brought you here," she sighed.

"Charlie?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

"You don't remember anything?"

_Charlie helped me out of the bar and took me into the cruiser…_

" _My Bella…" I cried. "So beautiful…"_

_Stopping in the middle of nowhere to puke my guts out…_

" _Charlie?" Mom asked as she came down the porch. "What are you doing here this late?"_

" _Esme, get Emmett. I need help," he said as he opened the door of the cruiser, revealing his passenger._

" _Oh my God! Emmett," she cried. "Emmett, come down now!"_

_Everyone rushed outside and came to the cruiser when they heard her. "Esme, calm down," Charlie said. "He just had a few more drinks than he should have. Nothing to worry about," he finished soothingly._

_A blurry form kneeled in front of the door. "Shit," Emmett whispered. "He's wasted."_

" _Hello, Emmie," I slurred. "I missed ya you oaf!"_

_He sighed. "What am I gonna do with you?"_

" _Take a good look of your pride and joy, Es. Aren't you proud of your son?" Carlisle mocked._

_A muffled cry and a loud thud was all I heard. Metal and body, colliding._

" _You shut your fucking mouth," Charlie hissed. "It's your fucking fault! You brought him to this state. I wish I could kill you!"_

" _Easy there, Chief," Emmett said._

" _Stay out of this Emmett," Charlie said sternly. "You disgust me!" he said and shoved Carlisle away. "Let's get you to bed," he said and then I passed out._

"Emmett?" I asked right on time when the door opened and my brother came in, Rosalie following behind him.

"Hey there, twin," he smiled. I looked at Rosalie and she seemed exhausted.

"Mornin'," I mumbled.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"As if a fucking truck ran over me," I said running my hands through my hair.

"Idiot!" he snapped suddenly and I thought my head would explode. "What the fuck were you thinking? You're under medication, Edward! Heavy medication and you drank a shit load of booze! Why?"

"Because I fucking needed it, okay? Christ Em!" I yelled.

There was a deadly silence in the room. I heard sniffling and the next thing I know was Ma excusing herself and practically ran out of the room.

"Baby, why don't you give your brother and me some time?" Rosalie asked and kissed his cheek. He left the room without another word.

Rose sat next to me. "What happened?" she asked. "Don't say nothing because I know you'd be lying." I sighed and told her everything. She listened silently.

"I don't know what to say. The only thing I want to do right now is hop into the first plane, fly to Chicago, thank her for saving your life and then beat the shit out of her. Some nerve the bitch has!" she said angrily.

"Rose, I know that I've put a lot on your shoulders so far but I would really appreciate if you didn't mention anything to Emmett. If he asks just tell him that I was pissed about taking three months off of work. I can't handle anything else now," I said lowly.

"Okay," she whispered and rested her head on my lap. She looked at me and smiled. "I had a dream yesterday that I had twin boys."

And just like that, with one simple sentence, we forgot everything else.

I stayed in my room for a couple of hours. When I went downstairs, I heard Charlie talking with Emmett. I entered the living room and I cleared my throat. When he looked at me, I felt so ashamed. I knew he'd never judge me but still. He shouldn't have seen me like that- not when I promised him that I would never reach that state. He smiled at me but I knew that it wasn't a happy one.

"Good morning, son" he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I said and sat down next to him.

"It's good to have you back home," he smiled. "How's work?"

We talked about work in order to avoid the issue that needed to be discussed the most. I was dying to know why he didn't tell me about her but I knew that I had to be patient and wait to be alone with him for this conversation to happen. Charlie would never do something intentionally. That was one thing I was damn sure about.

"How's the shoulder?" Emmett asked.

"A bit stiff," I lied. It was burning like hell.

"Mhmmm," he hummed and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Your Doc did an excellent job. Dr. Garcia was his name you said?"

I gave Charlie a side look and nodded. "Yeah, he was very _caring_ ," I said icily.

"Good, good."

Charlie looked at his watch. "I better get going to the station," he said.

"We need to talk," Ma said in a serious tone. "I want you to tell me what your problem with my husband is."

"Esme, with all due respect my issues with your husband are none of your concern. Since he didn't tell you, then I won't either," he said and looked out the window. "It's time your _honorable_ husband took responsibility for some of his actions. Anyway, I'm afraid that this is a long discussion and I'm short on time," he finished and got up. "It was nice seeing ya all again."

"I'll walk you out," I said and got up.

Once we were out of the house, I couldn't wait. "Last night was the second time you attacked Carlisle. Why?"

"Not my story to tell son," he said and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Let's just say that I don't like how he treats you. You know I love you like my own. I can't stand the way he talks about you. He shouldn't disrespect you like that."

I narrowed my eyes at him. " There's more to it than that, Charlie. Tell me."

"There's nothing else. The only thing I can say is that your father had better be sleeping with an eye open from now on!" he said and cracked a smile. "How about we go finishing the day after tomorrow? You won't do anything. Just keep me company."

He was avoiding the subject. "Sure Chief, count me in."

"I'll pick you up at six. Is that okay?" he said and gave me a one armed hug.

"I'll have the coffee ready."

**-Ж-**

Thanksgiving went by with no incident. For most of the day, I stayed in my room to rest. At some point late in the afternoon, I went down to join the others for the meal. Carlisle had to leave for an emergency so I didn't have to deal with his presence.

I walked around the house and I ended outside the piano room. The last time I remembered playing was almost thirteen years ago. After she left, I never wanted to play again. I sat on the bench, lifted the lid prop and stared at the keyboard. Only when I pressed my finger on the C note did I realize how much I missed playing. It used to be so liberating, calming, fulfilling. I took a deep breath closed my eyes and wished just for a fraction of a second to forget everything.

As if my fingers had a mind of their own, they started gliding across the keyboard and Chopin's 'Raindrops' filled the room. It started off hopeful and a bit naïve, but took a turn when the minor chords revealed a deeper truth- the truth of longing and despair. The yearning I thought I'd buried suddenly surfaced and the pain that followed was unbearable. I resented myself even more because I knew that I shouldn't feel like this.

I was lost in the torturous melody when I felt two arms hug me. "I thought I'd never listen to you playing again."

"I know," I said. "I'm so sorry Ma," I finished as the song ended.

"Enough of that. There is nothing to be sorry for," she said and kissed my cheek.

"I love you," I said and kissed her palm.

We sat in perfect silence and I played a couple of more songs. Looking at the clock after a while, I realized it was time to head to bed if I wanted to be up by six. I had questions for Charlie and I would get my answers no matter what. I needed to know.

Around five the next morning, I woke up. I took a quick shower, changed the bandage, got dressed and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. As I entered, I found Carlisle sitting at the table having his own cup.

"Good morning," I said.

"Edward," he said.

"When did you get home?"

"About an hour ago just to have a shower and get back to work. What are you doing up?"

"Charlie is picking me up. We're going fishing," I responded as I took the thermos out of the cabinet.

"I don't like him," he said sternly. "I never did."

"Well that's too bad because I do and you'd better accept it."

"Just for once can't you do as I say? Can't you see that he's bad for you? He's just like that little slu-"

"Can you please shut the fuck up? Aren't you tired of saying the same things over and over again?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Show some respect!" he said angrily.

"Don't expect to be respected if you don't respect anyone. You taught me that, don't you remember?" I said arrogantly. "That man has been more than a father to me than you ever were!"

"Have you seen how he treats me? That man is rotten!"

"At least he has a fucking heart. I'm sure you deserve the way he treats you. He wouldn't act like that if you weren't to blame."

"You are insufferable!" he half-yelled and stormed out of the house. Asshole!

I opened the fridge and took out the turkey sandwiches Mom made to take with me. I ate a piece of pumpkin pie and took my pills. As I was sitting on the stool, I remembered William. I ran like a bat out of hell and didn't get the chance to tell him that I was leaving. I knew he heard me saying to Ma that I was going to Forks but I wanted to see him before I left. ' _How would you have told him you idiot? You don't know his phone number!_ ' I thought to myself. Next time I saw him, I would make sure I got his phone number.

I decided to check if I had any messages back home. I dialed my number and waited patiently until the answering machine picked up. I punched in the code and I heard that I had three messages.

" _Edward, I'd appreciate it if the next time you decide to run, that you let me know. How are you? Please give me a call when you have time. Lucy says hi by the way. Get well and come back to us. We miss you here. Bye,_ " Marcus said.

The next message was from Emmett. " _Hey. I've been calling you all day. I called to check up on you. I am trying to find a flight earlier than Friday. Give me a call when you hear the message._ "

Finally, the third message began. " _Hi,_ " his voice said and I stopped breathing for a second. " _I went by the hospital and you weren't there. The nurse told me that you left. Are you okay?_ " he asked and paused. " _I am at the park now. I took my dog for a walk and came here. I was hoping to see you but…_ " he continued and paused again. " _My grandpa sent me a cell phone and mom got me a phone card with credits. I wanted to give you the number at the hospital but I got distracted,_ " he said. I got up and grabbed a pen and a paper hoping that he would give it to me. He started reciting the numbers and I wrote them down carefully making sure I got them correct. " _Um, I finished my essay last night. It's not long but I like it. I think that I'll win the competition,_ " he said shyly. ' _That's my boy,_ ' I thought to myself and smiled. " _I wish you picked up the phone but this will do. I need to go now. I have to save the credits. I hope you call. Bye._ "

The message finished and I heard Charlie parking the cruiser in front. I put the paper in my pocket, grabbed the food supplies and left. I promised two things to myself: 1) I would call him the first chance I got, and 2) I would make sure to add a lot of credits on his cell phone when I got back home. The idea at least talking to him on the phone when I couldn't see him was comforting.

"Well, look at that smile," Charlie teased. "Had I known that going fishing would make you happy,, I would have done it a couple of days ago."

"Good morning Charlie!"

"Ready?"

"Aye, aye Captain."

On our way to the lake, Charlie informed me that we would stay close to home. Based on the forecast, the weather would get worse. I nodded and we started talking about baseball. When Charlie mentioned the Mariners, the smile came back to my face as I remembered William. I missed him. He was so special: he made me laugh, forget things that bothered me… he gave me hope.

"Why on earth are you smiling? I'm telling you that the Mariners will lose again and you smile?" he asked as he parked the car.

"I was thinking about someone," I said.

"A special lady?" he smiled.

"No," I began as I set our things inside the boat. "It's a kid I know in Chicago."

"A kid?" he asked and I nodded. "Let's get settled first and tell me all about him." By the time the sun started rising, the poles were set and we were seated, drinking coffee.

"His name is William and he's almost thirteen," I began. "He's being raised by his mother and Godmother. He doesn't know his father though. It's kind of sad because he's a great kid and it's a shame this man isn't around…" I continued and spilled everything single detail I could recall about him.

"Have you met his Mom?" Charlie asked, looking at the lake.

"No. Truth be told, I'm terrified that she'll find out he's hanging out with me. Charlie, he was already in danger twice around me. Even the day I got shot. Man, you should have seen him. He was beyond terrified and yet he tried to help me," I said and lit a cigarette. He smiled. "What?" I asked.

"He affects you," he stated.

"He does," I said truthfully. "Ever since I saw him at the park. Every time I see him, I have this… knot in my stomach, you know? When I don't see him, I go to the park hoping that he'll show up. The day I flew here, he called. He left a message because he got a cell phone and he wanted me to have his number," I smiled.

"Sounds like a sweet kid," he said and got up. "Excuse me for a minute."

I put out my cigarette and checked the time. I had been talking about him for the past two hours. It was ten thirty a.m. in Chicago so I assumed he would be awake by now. I dialed his number and waited.

" _Hello?_ " he said with a sleepy voice.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked and smiled.

" _No! No! I was watching something on TV and a drifted off for a bit. How are you?_ "

"I'm good, fishing with a friend of mine. Are you home? How are you?"

" _Yes. I... umm I had a little accident?_ "

The smile vanished from my face instantly. "What happened?" I asked concerned. I swear if one of the little fuckers hurt him…

" _I sprained my hand in training,_ " he said calmly. " _I wasn't focused._ "

"Will, you have to be more careful," I chided him.

" _I'm sorry,_ " he whispered. " _Mom, said the cast will be off in two weeks,_ " he groaned. " _I'm so bored. It's a sunny morning and instead of walking Sunny, I'm watching cartoons!_ "

The phone almost fell from my hand. "Sunny?"

" _Huh?_ "

"You just said Sunny," I said quickly.

" _No I didn't. I said Sandy,_ " he responded.

"I thought you said Sunny."

" _I call him Sandy as well._ "

"Okay," I said.

" _When are you coming back?_ "

"I don't know kid. I'm on a three-month leave, so I might stay for a while," I said truthfully.

" _Oh, I see,_ " he said sadly. Charlie came outside, holding a beer in his hand. When he saw I was talking on the phone, he motioned he'd be inside.

"No, it's okay. Come and say hi," I smiled and put the phone on the speaker. "Will, my friend here wants to say hi."

" _Okay,_ " he said.

"Hello kid," Charlie smirked and we heard something breaking.

" _Shit,_ " he said quickly. " _I've to go, bye!_ " The line went dead and I scowled at the phone.

"Awkward."

"Oh yeah," Charlie laughed.

Later that afternoon, a light drizzle started but we decided to stay because it wasn't that bad. I made my way to the tiny bathroom when I stopped dead in my tracks. There were a set of pictures glued on the wall. Charlie with his old deputy, Billy Black, a couple of us from La push before Billy's heart attack. The last one was one of Bella and me. That was taken the first time we ever went with him. I had expressed my interest in fishing, trying to soften him up about dating his daughter, but once we were on the boat, I realized I enjoyed it.

_We were_ _sitting on deck while Charlie navigated the boat back home after a long day. I was exhausted but I didn't care. I had my girl and that was all I needed. I was happy, carefree. As I looked at the darkening sky, I couldn't help but dream of her and me, twenty years later, being on a bigger boat, with a couple of children being chased by Charlie. That fantasy made me smile. She was settled between my legs and I had my hands around her waist._

" _Bella Swan, I will marry you one day," I said and kissed her temple._

"Why?" I asked looking at the picture. I left because I knew that if I looked at the picture one more second I would tear it to pieces.

I went back on deck and I grabbed a can of beer from the cooler. As I was about to take a sip, Charlie grabbed it from my hand. "That was very thoughtful of you son," he said and smiled. "Bringing a beer to the old guy that is." I didn't smile. "You know, when she called me and told me what happened, I was a second away from coming there. Do not do that to me again. Ever. The idea of losing you is like losing her. Chicago isn't Forks. That's why you have that damn vest, kid."

"Why Charlie?" I asked quietly. He understood immediately.

"Edward, she's my daughter. When she left, it was like the three of us had formed an unspoken pact. I never mentioned anything to her about you and I did the same for you. I won't lie. I was surprised when I heard that she was moving to Chicago. I decided not to mention anything to either of you. I had to protect you. It's a big city, son. I never thought that you two would meet again the way you did. Had I told you that she was there, what would you have done?" he asked.

"I'd have left probably," I said sincerely. Call me a pussy but I would have. The guys would have understood my reasoning. He remained silent. "What I don't get is why she pretended to care?" I asked and my anger awoke. "It was her choice to leave me, Charlie. Why did she come to my house? She never loved me and don't say she did because if she ever felt anything, she wouldn't have thrown me away like yesterdays trash! If she ever felt something, she would have come to my house to break up with me like a normal human being. She wouldn't have run off like a fugitive!" I said and started pacing.

"I know you're angry. I know what she meant to you. I wish I was able to comfort you and tell you that everything will be fine but I can't. I can't see the future."

"I know what she's after. I am not naïve anymore, Charlie."

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean you know what she's after?" he asked sternly.

I snorted and looked away. "Tell her that whatever she's trying to accomplish is pointless. I'm broke, so she'd better stay away."

He came behind me and spun me around to look at his ashen face. "Edward, what did you just say? What do you mean you're broke?"

I pulled away from him and laughed bitterly. I didn't reply. There was nothing left to say. I was sure that once she got the message, she'd disappear again. She fucked me up again and then she would leave. As if on cue, the heavens opened and it started pouring. Charlie lifted the anchor and we ran into the cabin. He handed me a towel to dry myself and started navigating the boat back to the shore.

Less than an hour later, we were almost home. "What are your plans today?" he asked.

"Emmett and Rosalie went to Seattle so I'm staying home with Esme," I said, looking out the window. My god I loved the rain.

When he parked the car, I went to open the door, and stopped when I heard Carlisle yelling. Charlie heard him too and he looked at me with blazing eyes.

"When I married you, you had nothing! Just the dress you wore at the church and a couple of things that _I_ bought you. Is that how you repay me you ungrateful woman?" he growled. "I don't know why I stayed with you! I never felt the fulfillment a newlywed man should feel, even though I loved you. I'm not happy. Ever since we found out that you couldn't have kids, I came home and found a machine and not a woman! I adopted those little brats for you to please you and you failed! As a wife, as a mother! Look at that _thing_ you raised."

My body felt like I was on fire. How dare he talk to her like that? She was the best thing that ever happened to us. A child couldn't have a more nurturing mother like Esme was to us. She loved us and cared for us as if we were her lifeline. If someone failed, it was that fucker and not her!

"Leave my children out of this. Take everything out on me like you always do and not them!" she snapped.

We heard heavy footsteps and I was about to go in, but Charlie stopped me. "Trust me," he whispered.

"Your _son_ ," he snarled. "Was probably pissed drunk when he did it! It's mine! I want it back!"

"Carlisle, please," Mom said with a small sob. "I won't do that. He gave it to me."

"Give me the money!" he yelled.

"Please, you're hurt…" She didn't finish. Within seconds, I burst into the house, ripped his hand off her wrist, and pinned him to the wall, with my hand closing around his neck.

"Edward, don't!" Mom yelled and came to my side, trying to drag me away from him.

"You motherfucker! I told you never to touch her again!" I was out of control. Images of a dead body flashed through my head, except that rather than seeing Lizzie, it was Esme. My grip tightened, but all I could see was red. He was having a hard time breathing and I didn't care. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!"

"Edward, get off him!" Charlie ordered but I ignored him.

"You fucking piece of shit! Come to _me_ and ask about the fucking money! Show _me_ how strong you are, you stupid cunt!" A tear rolled down his cheek as his face started turning purple. "Is this how you show how strong you are? Come on fight back!" I roared.

I felt two strong arms wrapping themselves around me and dragging me away. He fell like a sack of potatoes to the floor and started coughing violently, gasping for air.

"Chief, I need help," Emmett said as he struggled to hold me back. They took me outside and tried to calm me down.

"What the fuck happened?" Emmett asked.

"Carlisle and Esme got into a fight," Charlie started and I cut him off.

"That fucker was fighting with her. She did nothing!"

"Calm the fuck down, Edward," Emmett said angrily. "Chief can you take him away from here? I need to check on Carlisle and have a talk with him."

"Sure, sure."

The drive back to Charlie's house wasn't long. We went inside and he asked me to wait for a sec to bring me a change of clothes. I flirted with the idea of going straight home to finish him off. He didn't deserve it. It would be too easy. I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths. When I opened them again, I looked around. The last time I came to this house was two years ago. Nothing had changed. The old couch was still there, right in front of the flat screen. The small fireplace mantel was adorned with framed pictures of him and Harry, with Sam and Leah at their wedding. The one that took me by surprise, however, was a picture of Charlie holding a tiny beautiful baby.

Was it hers?

"Her…" he said as he entered the living room, freezing in place. His eyes fell on the picture I was holding and he composed himself. He placed the clothes on the couch and walked over to me.

"Who's this?" I asked never taking my eyes of him.

"Um, that is Mary's kid. Mary is my niece. I was visiting at the time and a couple of days before I left she gave birth," he said and placed the photo on the fireplace. "Come on and change your clothes. You'll catch a cold."

I changed my clothes while Charlie made some tea in the kitchen. He handed me a cup and sat at the table. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"No, not really," I said and I ran my hand through my damp hair. "I'm taking her with me when I go back. She's not going to spend another minute with him alone."

"If you didn't burst in like a wild animal, I would have taken him in. Spending the night in jail would serve him right," Charlie said sternly. "Anyway, you can sleep in my room and I'll take the couch."

"It's okay, Chief. I'm not very sleepy anyway. You go up and I'll stay on the couch."

"But your shoulder," he complained.

"It's okay. I don't even feel the pain. Go and rest," I said and placed my hand on his shoulder. He sighed, nodded and went to his room.

I made myself comfortable on the couch and got ready for what I knew would be a long hard night. I could only hope the nightmares would stay away...


	10. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

Almost a month had passed since I returned to Forks and now I was finally heading back. Even though I had nothing to do there, I was glad I stayed because I got to spend time with Ma and Charlie. The major reason - to try and put some sense into my mother's head - was met with no success.

_Charlie dropped me off the following morning_ _and I promised not to hurt Carlisle. I went inside and I found my folks having breakfast as if nothing had transpired the previous night. He was reading his morning newspaper and mom was going through some papers- probably documents concerning the shelter._

_My gaze dropped to her wrist and the redness around it. Using all the willpower I had in me, I swallowed the growl that fought to come out of my chest; I promised I wouldn't touch him even though snapping his fucking neck sounded more than appealing. She gave him a side look, sighed and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw me standing by the door._

" _Oh my God! Edward, how long have you been standing there?" she asked with her hand at her throat. The fucker looked at me briefly before turning his attention back to the newspaper._

" _The 'thing you raised'," I sneered toward his direction, "wants to talk to you, Ma. In private."_

_Carlisle looked at his watch. "I'm heading to the hospital," he said calmly. He got up and took a step toward Ma._

" _Do not even fucking think about it!" I snapped. "Leave!" He sighed and exited out the back door._

_I opened the freezer and took out the ice pack that mom always kept there. I folded it in a thin kitchen towel, took her hand in mine, kissed it softly and placed the ice pack on the bruised spot with gentle moves._

" _Thank you," she sniffled, looking at her cup._

_I wanted to start with small talk, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. There were things that needed to be discussed and frankly this one couldn't be put off._

" _Can you look at me please?" I asked softly. Her eyes met mine and I took a breath. "The only reason I'll apologize for last night is for scaring you," I started. "Mom, I love you, but when I saw what he was doing, I lost my shit. If Emmett hadn't stopped me, I would have killed him with no regrets."_

" _Edward, he's your father," she said sadly._

" _No, he's a monster. A real man would never do something like that. I need you to be honest with me. How long has this been going on?"_

" _That was the second time," she said looking out the window. She was lying._

" _I'll ask you one more time. How long?"_

_Something in her demeanor changed and she became angrier. "When I tell you that it was the second time, you will believe me and not question me!"_

_I shut my mouth instantly. I had never seen her act like that before. Not even when Emmett and I were younger and every now and then we would break something._

" _Your father is a very busy man. He has the hospital, his practice; he helps me with the shelter. He is stressed, Edward. He didn't mean to hurt me. You two need to sit down like adults and mend your differences. I don't want enemies in my family!"_

" _I'_ _ve done nothing wrong! He's the one that never gave a shit about me. He never respected my decisions; he never came to me as a father to listen to my worries and insecurities. Just because he took me in and raised me doesn't make him a father. He was only a figure in my life, Ma. He was absent when I needed him. He let Emmett and Charlie take over his responsibilities!" I exclaimed. "Besides the issue here is not my relationship with Carlisle. I want you to pack up your things and come with us to Chicago tomorrow."_

" _I am not leaving my house or my husband! We had a small disagreement and that's all," she said angrily and left the kitchen._

Since she wasn't coming with me, I decided to stay longer than I expected. I needed to make sure that she'd be okay when I returned back home. I begged her thousands of times to come with me but it was pointless. I couldn't help her if she didn't want to be helped. As Charlie drove me to the airport, I asked him to keep an eye on her. I wasn't comfortable leaving her with him but I had no choice.

Once we landed, I got my luggage and grabbed a cab. On my way home, I took in my surroundings. Everything was covered in snow and millions of lights decorated every inch of the city. Christmas decorations were everywhere, children were with their parents walking the down the street, smiling and laughing. Everyone seemed so happy and yet I couldn't share the sentiment. Her image dominated my mind. Whenever I closed my eyes to sleep, I saw her: I felt her touch and heard her voice. I had no idea how I'd react if I ever saw her again. That woman betrayed me and I couldn't be nice to her. She was my dream, my life and she used me. Right before Charlie left me earlier at the airport, he said to let her talk to me. Why would I do that? To listen to her lies? Thank you very much but no…

The cab driver's voice took me out of my reverie. "Hey buddy. We're here."

I handed him the money and went in. It was so good to be back. I loved Ma to pieces but there was no place like home. I opened the windows to let in some fresh air and made some coffee. In just two days time, it would be Christmas. Ever since I got this place, I never decorated it for the holidays. I needed a small change. As I grabbed the phone to call Emmett, I saw that I had messages. I would hear them later.

Emmett picked up the phone on the second ring. " _Well hello there! Decided to give your big brother a call?_ "

"Yes, fuck you very much," I chuckled. "How are you, Em?"

" _I'm good. Just left the hospital. You? How was your flight?_ "

"It was okay," I said and lit a cigarette. "Hey Em, can I ask you for a favor?"

" _Sure._ "

"Can you come and pick me up? I want to go and get a tree," I said.

" _Come again?_ "

I chuckled. "It's Christmas man. I felt kind of nostalgic on my way back. I want to have a tree this year. Besides, when was the last time we spent some quality time together?" There was a pause. "Em, you still there?"

" _Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my brother?_ " he said stunned, making me smile.

"So?" I asked.

" _Meet me in ten in front of your building,_ " he said and hung up.

I quickly changed my clothes, had a painkiller and made a mental list of the things I would need. I couldn't help but chuckle at Emmett. I could picture him right now, gaping like a goddamned fish, checking his cell phone to see if I was the one who called him. He had been begging me for years to put a tree in my condo so that it didn't look so empty on the best holiday ever. Truth be told, I had no idea what made me decide to do something like that. I wanted to change that this year. Checking my watch, I realized that Emmett was probably waiting for me. I grabbed my keys and money and left. My brother was waiting for me outside, leaning against his car. He smiled and gave me a one-armed hug.

"Believe it or not I missed you," he said and ruffled my hair.

"Fuck Emmett, not the hair; don't make it worse," I said and ran my fingers through my hair as he was getting in the car.

"You need a haircut," he chuckled. "Get in," he said and started the car.

"Ma cut an inch off already," I said as I got in the car. "So where do we go?"

He remained silent for a moment and then turned to look at me. "Edward, I know you like the back of my hand," he said calmly and started driving. "What's all this about?"

I took a deep breath, looked outside the window and cleared my throat. "I did some thinking before I got shot. Do you remember the night we met Alice?"

He nodded. "Keep going."

"I called Garrett that night," I said and he inhaled deeply. "We talked a bit and I made an appointment. It was supposed to be last month on the 28th but I never made it," I continued. "Emmett, I know that you put up with a lot of my shit and all. I sought help because I'm tired. I can't and won't become the Edward I used to be, but I want to be better. I want to be able to have a conversation without getting pissed off in the blink of an eye. I want to calm down and be able to function again like a normal human being."

"Why didn't you say something then? Why are you telling me now?"

"I didn't tell you because I was sure back then that I would chicken out. I didn't want to disappoint you," I said and we stayed silent for a few minutes.

"Thank you," he said. I turned to look at him. "For telling me."

"I own you that much Emmett. It would only be fair to tell you so," I said truthfully.

"Are you gonna reschedule?"

"I called him but he's out of town. I'll call him again mid-January," I said and shrugged my shoulders.

"Good, good," he said and parked the car. "So, how big of a tree do you want?" he smiled and got out.

I had no intention of telling him all that at this moment, but frankly it was the first thing that came out of my mouth and it felt so fucking good to say it. Just because I wasn't able to go to the first appointment that didn't mean that I didn't want to get on with it. Had a different man been in my position, dealing with the same shit I did, he wouldn't have wanted to carry on with it. I really wanted to change- for Emmett, Ma, Rosalie, Charlie… for William. I wanted my family and long-time friends to be able to trust me like they used to and I wanted to be a better friend to that kid.

"How's your shoulder?" he asked as we looked around.

"It's okay. I went to the hospital and had the stitches removed. And guess who did it," I chuckled.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Carlisle?"

"Please! As if I would let him touch me. Man, don't spoil my mood," I said annoyed.

"Okay, who was it?"

"Yorkie," I said.

"No shit. He's a doc?"

"Yes. You should have seen him. He nearly shat in his pants when he realized who I was. I think he never recovered after you had him hanging upside-down from that tree."

He started laughing. I can't recall the last time I heard him laugh that loud. "Good times."

"He apologized you know," I said. "He said that back at the time he couldn't see how wrong it was to bully me. He said that he just wanted to be accepted and that he didn't realize they were bad for him soon enough."

"Bullshit. Had I not done that to him, he'd still be like those fuckers," he chuckled. "Anyway, do you like this one?" he asked and showed me a small spruce.

"It's perfect," I smiled. I paid for the tree and soon we headed home.

Emmett carried it all the way inside the house since I wasn't allowed to hold anything heavy. He placed it next to my small fireplace. Since it was fairly early in the afternoon, we decided to go to a store near the station to get some ornaments and tree lights.

Even though it was a short distance, the drive there took us almost twenty minutes. I hated traffic, but I was in such good mood nothing could spoil it. As we entered the store, a teenager that worked there approached us asking if we needed any assistance. I asked her where the Christmas decorations were and picked up a basket, and headed there. There were shelves with several of types and colors: silver, green, red, blue ornaments. I didn't want anything extravagant so I chose plain silver.

"Have you talked to him recently?" I heard a boy ask in the next aisle.

"No."

I swear my heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. Emmett was about to say something so I hit him on his chest to shut him up.

"Bummer," the other boy said.

"This sucks!" William whined. "What the hell am I gonna do, Jason?" he groaned. Shit! Was he in trouble?

"Don't ask me. I can't tell you what to do."

I made my way to the next aisle, Emmett following right behind me a I slowly came up behind William. When the other boy saw me, his eyes widened slightly. I recognized William's friend. He was the kid who asked me if I had shot anyone in my session with William's class. He opened his mouth to say something but I smiled and placed my finger on my lips to shush him.

"The killer part is that I want to give him a copy and he is all the way out in that god-awful town."

"Spoons, right?" the other kid said.

"It's Forks, you dumbass."

"Ah, right. Never been good with Geography," he giggled.

"Whatever. I am meeting Pops in Florida and I really wanted to give it to him," he said sadly.

I smiled and winked at the kid. "Give him what?" I asked.

"Oh my God!" he half yelled and turned around with wide eyes. I started laughing at the expression he had on his face: both surprise and fright. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed and threw himself at me, making me drop my basket.

"Hey there, kiddo," I smiled and hugged him.

"You're back!" he whispered, hugging the hell out of me.

I patted him back and he released me. It had been too long. I looked in his eyes and I couldn't stop grinning. I had missed him so much.

"When did you get home? How are you?" he asked and looked at my shoulder.

"I'm okay," I said. "I arrived three hours ago and my brother and I came here to shop," I continued and turned to look Emmett. "Emmett, this is William, a very good friend of mine," I smiled. "Will, this is my brother Emmett."

Due to Emmett's body build, most children were afraid of him. William's friend turned pale at the sight of my huge brother while Will beamed at him.

"Pleasure to meet you sir," he said and stuck his hand out. Always respectful and kind. Emmett stood there, slightly gaping at him. He didn't say a word; instead I could see that he was inspecting every inch of his face. William frowned. He started shifting his weight from foot to foot and lowered his hand.

I started getting angry. "Emmett?" I asked in a warning tone.

As if someone pulled him out of his trance, he closed his eyes for a second and shook his head. He looked William and gave him a tight smile.

"I'm sorry for being rude," he started. "I was just surprised that my brother has such a young friend." He extended his hand. William took it but something scared him. I could see it. I knew how he acted when he was scared.

"It's okay sir," he said timidly. "Edward is very nice to children," he continued and smiled at me. "You should see how he pays attention to them at the park."

I furrowed my brows and tried to remember when was the last I interacted with a kid when William was around. As much I tried, I couldn't remember because I hadn't. Every single time I met with him, he had my undivided attention. Maybe he meant the day I went to school but even then I didn't interact with any of them apart from him.

_Note to self: ask him about it._

"Um, I need to give you something," William said. "I'm leaving tomorrow to visit my grandfather and I wanted you to have something before I left."

"What is it?"

"My essay. You helped me a lot and the least I could do to show you my gratitude is to give you a copy," he replied shyly.

"You didn't hav-"I started but he cut me off.

"Yes. I. Did," he stated as a matter of fact.

"Okay," I chuckled. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"Three p.m. Can I call you when I wake up?"

"Of course. I'll be going to the station tomorrow so if you want we can meet at the park. Bring Sandler too," I smiled.

"Who's Sandler?" the other boy asked.

"My dog," William said and glared at his friend. I heard Emmett take a deep breath.

"Oh yeah," his friend replied.

"I have to get going," William said. "My Godmother is waiting for the garland so…"

"It was nice seeing you, William," I said and ruffled his hair.

"Oh man, not the hair," he whined.

Emmett folded his hands on his chest. "Why?"

"Because there is a war between my hair and the comb. These two don't co-operate."

I chuckled. "Go," I said. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," he said and they left.

I picked up my basket and started looking around to see if I needed anything else. Emmett remained silent for a while. It was as if he was contemplating something.

"How long have you known this kid?" he asked suddenly.

"Since September. He was being bullied at the park," I smiled and turn to look at him. "He beat the shit out of them. William has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do."

"Huh," he said and picked a star for the top of the tree. "You like that one?"

"Yeah, it's nice," I answered and placed the item in the basket. "I'm done."

The line at the register wasn't big so we finished really quickly. On our way home, we stopped to grab a bite and get some groceries. It was nice spending time with Emmett. I had missed that: just the two of us, having fun by doing simple things. I knew that I wasn't the person he deserved, the brother he missed. I couldn't go back and be that person, but I would try at least to fix myself.

"The kid has the same eyes as you," he said as he parked the car.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I mean that you have the same eyes: color and shape," he told me.

"Come on, Emmett," I laughed.

"Edward, I know what I see. When he glared at his friend, I thought I was looking at you when you were at his age, glaring at Newton."

"I think that you need to go home and get some rest big brother," I said and patted his back.

"Maybe you're right," he sighed. "Let me help you with the bags."

"It's only three bags. I'm not completely handicapped," I smiled.

"Okay," he said and I got out of the car. I started walking toward the building entrance only to be stopped by Emmett. "Wait!"

I turned around and he ran to me. "I want you to know that the whole therapy thing won't be easy but I'll be there for you. I'll even go to the sessions with if you want. Anything you need."

"I know Em. Thanks."

"I love you, Edward," he said and hugged me.

I hugged him tightly. "I love you too, Emmett. I'll fix myself. I promise," I whispered. If that fucker didn't stop, I would start crying like a fucking baby. "Now go to Rosalie. Tell her that I told you about the therapy."

"She knew?" he asked.

"Since day one. Now go, shoo! I have a tree to decorate," I smiled. He started walking to his car. "Oh and Emmett," I said before he climbed in. "I'm happy for both of you." I was fairly sure that when Rose heard the word therapy, she'd tell him about the baby. I meant it when I said that I was happy. I would spoil that kid rotten. I would try to be the best uncle in the world.

The next hour went by really quickly. While tree decorating, I received a frantic call from Emmett letting me know that I was going to be an uncle. He was over the moon chanting: 'I'm gonna be someone's daddy' and 'Oh my God'. I laughed and felt so happy and relieved that he finally found something that made him so carefree. Emmett wasn't like the creep that created us or like Carlisle. He would make the greatest father a child would have. He had a child's soul…

As I put the last ornament on the tree, the doorbell rang. As soon as I opened it, I wished I hadn't. Bella was standing in front of me.

"Hello Edward," she said in a tone I barely heard.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"Listen, I know you just arrived but I need to check on your shoulder. It won't take long."

"You came all they way here just to check on my shoulder?" She was bullshitting me.

"Walter, I mean Dr. Garcia, is out of town. He thought that you would come in as he advised you but you never did. He wanted to make sure that your shoulder is healing," she said.

"In case you forgot, I am in perfect condition _now_ to _know_ when someone is _lying_ ," I said. "Dr. Swan."

She sighed and ran her hands through her rich hair. "Okay Edward, I was the one who wanted to check on you. So, please, I swear I'll be gone in five minutes."

That moment Charlie words came to mind.

_Edward, please do me a favor son. Listen to her. I know you've been through I lot but so has she. If she ever comes to you, please listen to her. You might be surprised by the things she has to say._

"Come in," I said.

She placed her medical case on the table coffee and opened it as I took off my shirt. When her hand touched my skin, it burned even though she wore gloves. Her hand was shaking a bit as she pressed on my wound slightly.

"When did you have the stitches removed?" she asked as she started cleaning the area.

"Three days ago. Yorkie did," I responded.

"Eric Yorkie?"

"The one and only."

After putting some iodine on the wound, she covered it with a small piece of gauze. "There's no indication that the trauma is infected. It healed beautifully. Are you still taking your painkillers as Walter prescribed?"

"No. It doesn't hurt that much. I take one every second or third day if needed."

"Okay. You need to contact m…um, I mean the hospital after the holidays and set an appointment to start physiotherapy. The muscle needs to be worked a lot before you go back to work."

"Will do," I said as she closed her bag.

Under other circumstances, I would have been livid by her presence. Being able to talk to Charlie about her several times helped me calm down a bit and accept that there might be occasions where I would see her again. Of course, that didn't mean that I forgot the things that happened between us. I didn't think I would ever be able to forget them, but I could at least try to be somewhat civil around her.

She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. I knew there was more to come with her visit but for some reason she was holding back. What could she possibly have to tell me?

"Edward, we need to talk," she blurted.

There it was!

"Bella, as you can see I'm really trying to be civil here. I don't think that I'm able to talk. At least not now," I said truthfully.

"I know it's hard but please, I really need to talk to you. There are things you don't know and…"

"Bella not now, please."

"It's important. Just listen to what I have to say and I promise not to bother you ever again," she pleaded with a shaky voice.

I wanted to talk to her. I was curious as to what she had to say but I wasn't ready. I knew that the things I would hear would enrage me and I really didn't want to lose it again. I wanted to be able to talk to her after I started therapy because I hoped it would help me operate differently- accept things a little more easily than I would now.

"I promise we will talk but not now. If we do it now, I will say hateful things that I guarantee you won't like. I need to prepare emotionally and mentally, and right this moment I am not."

"Okay," she whispered and headed toward the door. "Good night Edward," she said and left.

I have no idea how long I stayed still, looking at the closed door.

****-Ж-** **

After leaving the station the following day, I was already late for my meeting with William. I sent him a message telling him but I didn't like it. He was leaving that day and I knew that I wouldn't see him until January. I had a good surprise for him. At least I hoped it would be when the time came.

As I was listening to my messages the previous evening, I got a call from Mrs. Winston, Will's teacher. She informed me that the school would a hold a small gathering in January, with parents attending to hear the three best essays and witness the award ceremony. She invited me as well because she thought that it would be nice if I gave the awards to the kids. I was elated because I knew that William would be the one to win and it would mean a lot to him.

As I entered the park, I saw him sitting on a bench while he watched Sandler run in the snow. I whistled and the dog rushed to me, barking. The force was so strong that it managed to knock me to the ground.

"San, get off him," William yelled as he ran toward me.

"It's okay," I laughed, scratching Sandler behind his ear.

"Stupid dog," he chastised. "You're hurt. I know that wounds like yours are serious and they take time to heal."

"I'm fine Will, don't worry," I smiled and got up. We walked to the bench and sat down.

"I'm going to Florida. I'm meeting Pops there," he said sadly.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing is wrong. It's just… I hoped I didn't have to. My mom isn't coming with us and I don't want to leave her alone. She has to work," he frowned.

"Grown-ups have obligations and your mom's is to work so she can meet your needs," I said calmly. "You have many Christmases ahead to spend them with her."

"I know," he said and looked at his cell phone. "I don't have much time. I have to be at my house in an hour soon so we can leave for the airport."

Fuck! I thought I had at least two hours with him before he left.

"Here," he said, handing me a paper. "It's my essay. I'd like you to read it and tell me what you think."

"Why don't you read it to me?"

"I don't know," he said, blushing lightly.

"Please?"

He took a deep breath and started reading. "Law enforcement is the term for professionals who are dedicated to upholding the laws and statutes currently in force in a given jurisdiction. Some law enforcement jobs focus on local settings, while others are focused more on upholding and enforcing national laws. In addition to enforcing laws, the function of legal enforcement also involves managing the punishment process for people who are convicted of crimes, up to and including managing the process of incarceration…"

He was good. William mentioned the reasons why we had laws and how important they were, why we needed to follow them and what the outcome would be when they were broken. Every once in a while he would hesitate but I encouraged him to continue. I was certain that he would be the winner. He wanted it so bad, and to be honest, even though I didn't know what the other kids wrote, I knew that his was the best. Suddenly he stopped and folded the paper.

"William, please finish the essay. I don't think that it ends so abruptly." He shook his head. "Go on, it's so good and I want to know how it ends," I said in a feeble attempt to encourage him.

He took a big breath and continued. "Officers like Mr. Cullen make kids like me think about how we should value life. Why? It is because of his daily effort to make our lives easier by catching criminals and prevent us from becoming one of them. Men like him make us look up to our fathers because they try really hard to make us good and honorable people.

"My father is so similar to Officer Cullen. I was unfortunate in my life; fate and bad decisions prevented me from knowing my father. I know who he was and what he meant to my mother; I know what he would have meant to me. If I the chance to look at him in the eyes right now," he said, lifting his head to look at me. "I would have told him that he was, is and will always be my hero," he finished, lowered his head and sniffled.

My heart was beating wildly. I never occurred to me that he looked up to me so much. Thousands of emotions fought to come out and yet I was frozen like a goddamned statue. I just sat there staring the top of his head.

"Please say something," he whispered.

"Will," I said and lifted his chin to look at me. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard."

He gave me a watery smile and hugged my middle. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. The other kids are screwed," I said and flinched at my choice of words.

He chuckled. "You can swear you know. I do that a lot…when mom isn't around. If she ever heard me, she would ground me for eternity."

"Well this will be one more secret of ours," I smiled.

"Um, I have something else for you," he said and bent to pick up a small silver bag. "I was looking for a present for my Pops and when I saw it, it reminded me of you, so here."

"William I don't want you to spend money on me. You shouldn't have," I chastised him.

"Yes, I did. This way you'll be able to remember me and our conversation we had a long time ago," he said with an even voice. "Open it and tell me what you think," he smiled.

I sighed and opened the bag. I tore the paper and I saw that it was a small silver plaque with a quote.

_Dum spiro, spero._

"While I live, I hope," I whispered. I felt my eyes burning and there was a slight shake in my hands as I stared at the plaque. How could a twelve-year old be so wise in that age?

"Do you like it?" he asked and I turned my gaze on him.

"I love it," I said in a hoarse voice and cleared my throat. "Thank you very much, William."

"Good! Hope is what makes our dream and wishes come true," he stated proudly.

"And how do you know that?" I said and raised my eyebrow.

"Because my one dream came true. I got the one thing I wanted even if I know it's only for a little while."

He was so innocent. Instantly, I felt like shit because I didn't get him anything. I was planning on charging his card with credits earlier that morning but I was held up at the station. That wasn't enough though. I wanted to give him something that he could keep forever. I scratched the back of my neck at my stupidity and I felt the chain around my neck. I smiled to myself as I realized that I had his present all along… on me. When I was at the station, I opened my locker to get my uniforms and I found something I was given the day I graduated from the police academy. I placed the plaque back in its case and I took the talisman off me.

"I want you to have this," I said as I took his palm and placed the talisman in it. "This was given to me when I graduated. It has the patron saint of police engraved on it."

"St. Michael," he said. I was surprised that he knew that. He shook his head. "I can't take that. It's special to you."

"So are you, William. In such a short time, you managed to change aspects of me that my closest friends and relatives couldn't reach. That makes you special."

A new wave of tears formed his eyes but I knew they weren't sad ones. He ran his fingers over the pendant, kissed it and wore it around his neck. "I promise never to take it off of me."

"Good. It'll keep you safe," I said. I looked at my watch. He had to leave and even though I wanted to hold him back, I knew that I shouldn't. I got up and straightened my jeans. "You'll miss your flight if you don't leave now."

"I know," he sniffled. He put the leash on Sandler and looked at me. "Merry Christmas," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Will," I said and hugged him. "Be good."

"I will," he said clenching his hands around my waist. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I love you…"

I squeezed him until I felt a sting in my shoulder. "The feeling is mutual, kiddo."

**-Ж-**

Days went by really slowly. Ma and Carlisle flew to Chicago because Emmett wanted to tell them the news about the baby in person. Mom was beyond ecstatic and immediately started throwing out ideas about the baby's room and things they needed to buy and shit like that.

Bella called me four times begging to talk to me. The last call was even more frantic than the rest of them…

_Edward, I know you're tired of listening to my messages but please I need to talk to you. I am leaving for a_ _mission in South Africa on the 9_ _th_ _of January. I'll be gone for two months and I really need to talk to you before I leave. Please…_

Today was the 9th and we hadn't talked. Somewhere in between, I left her a message on her phone telling her that I wasn't ready and that she should respect that.

After William's confession, I knew that I had one more reason to work with the therapist. We talked occasionally over the phone while he was in Florida, and the day I would see him again finally arrived. Seventeen fucking days was a lot of time without seeing him.

I showered, shaved and wore my freshly ironed formal uniform. My heart was on full throttle and I didn't know why. Maybe it was because I was going to see him again after so long. With a last glance at the mirror, I was out of the house and soon I arrived at his school. His teacher greeted me warmly and thanked me for attending. Children with their parents started to appear and I was searching the crowd to find him. If I was lucky I would meet his mother and Godmother today and I hoped that they wouldn't ask questions about our friendship.

"William!" I heard a familiar boyish voice yell.

I smiled and I approached them. A woman with black short hair was standing next to him talking to the mother of William's friend. I cleared my throat to make my presence known. William turned around instantly and the color drained from his face. I heard a small gasp and turned to look at the woman next to him. Fuck me! I never expected to see her.

"Alice?" I asked surprised.

"What are you doing here?" William asked angrily.

I was taken aback with the aggression in his voice. I didn't expect this reaction. "I was invited here by your teacher. I'll be handing the awards to the winners," I said calmly. "Alice is your Godmother?"

"It's none of your business! Leave! I don't want you here!" he growled and pushed me away.

"William?" was the only word that came out of my mouth, stunned by the way he continued to talk to me. What was wrong with him? What the fuck did I do? My mind was running a million miles an hour to see if I did something to him.

"Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention please?" Mrs. Winston said.

William looked at me harshly one last time and mouthed at me to leave. There was no chance I would ever leave. I wanted to know what happened to him, what I had done.

William along with two girls went on the small stage and stood next to their teacher, his gaze never leaving my eyes. Occasionally I would look at Alice, and I swear to God she was about to have a panic attack. I would deal with her later.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Officer Cullen and ask him to join us," Mrs. Winston said. "He was one of the men the children interviewed. It's a great pleasure to have him with us." I took off my hat and shook the teacher's hand. William's face was pale.

"In third place, we have Karen Ann Johnson." Everyone started clapping and I gave her a symbolic present along with some praise.

The teacher handed me another bag and announced the other girl's name. "Congratulations Ms. Elliot," her teacher said.

"And now the first prize will be handed to a very fine student of ours. He is a transfer from Jacksonville's Public Junior High," she started and smiled toward William. "I am very glad to have him as my student and I know for sure that this young man will succeed in his life," she continued.

William's chin started trembling and hunched his shoulders defeated. It was as if there was something he didn't want me to know, something important. His eyes started brimming with tears.

'I'm sorry,' he mouthed. 'So sorry.'

What the fuck was going on? What was he sorry for?

"With that, the first prize goes to William Anthony Swan…"


	11. When Worlds Collide  part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

_The man sat_ _on his daughter's bed, looking at her with devotion. At that moment, he wasn't the man most people feared. He wasn't the man who didn't give a shit about others; he was a man enamored with the angel in front of him._

" _I love you, Daddy," the little blond girl beamed._

" _I love you too, my treasure," the man said looking straight into his daughter's eyes. "Make sure you listen to what the doctor tells you, okay?"_

" _Always, Daddy," the girl smiled before she started coughing violently. Her father started panicking when he saw that her lips were turning blue. She wasn't getting enough oxygen._

" _Celia, try to take deep breaths from your nose, baby," her father said, making his voice as calm as possible. She tried but nothing was happening. "Celia, look at me."._

_The machines went crazy and started beeping. The nurse ran into the room and, once she saw that the girl was about to have another cardiac arrest, called Code Blue. Seconds later, the doctor came in and a flat line appeared on the monitor, causing her father to drop to his knees, screaming his little angel's name._

" _Sir," one of the nurses said, "you need to leave the room." He wasn't listening. All he could do was sit there and look as the doctor tried to resuscitate his baby._

_Every single time the defibrillator paddles made contact with his baby's body, he jerked as well. 'Please God, don't take her away from me' he chanted in his mind over and over again. He was so vulnerable at that moment. He felt so small, so insignificant… he felt as if his own heart was being ripped out of his chest. He was losing her and there was nothing he could do. He clenched his hair in his fists and started rocking back and forth, praying to anything Holy to save her. The only thing that kept him alive, struggling with the life he never wanted or wished on anyone, was his Celia- il suo cuore._

_Tears started streaming down his face when he heard the monitor beeping, indicating that there was a heartbeat. He let out a gust of air and started crying even harder. 'Grazie, Dio. Grazie' he cried in his mind._

_One of the staff helped him back to his feet and took him outside to get him a glass of water. The pediatrician came out of the room, a concerned look on his face. He knew that the girl wouldn't survive if she didn't have a heart transplant soon. Her heart muscle was getting weaker by the second. The girl's father tried to steady himself, gripping the counter as if his life depended on it, when he saw the doctor approaching him._

" _I'm not going to lie to you. Things aren't good," the doctor said. "That was the second time in ten days. I need your permission to put in an LVAD._ _This is a device we'd implant to provide mechanical support since her heart is too weakened to pump blood effectively. The cost is h-"_

" _I don't care about the cost, Dr. Bishop," he said angrily. "How long will that thing last?"_

" _One year and if we're lucky maybe we could reach two," the doctor sighed. "It's hard to hear but at least it will buy us some time until there is a heart for her."_

_The man nodded at the doctor, giving him his silent approval to proceed. His life was tied to hers and he was ready to do whatever it took to keep her alive, even if it was the last thing he'd ever do._

" _Can I see her?" he asked with a hoarse voice._

" _Only for a few minutes. I need to make the surgical preparations," he said and left._

_The man stepped into the room and stared at the fragile little girl who lay in bed with her eyes closed. He sat by her side, making sure he didn't pull the wires from her body. He ran his thumb gently over her cheek and shivered with the coldness he felt. Instantly his eyes watered and before he broke down again, he kissed her forehead gently and whispered how much he loved her in Italian._

_While he was in the hospital, the man was nothing more than a father who was petrified of losing his angel. By the time he stepped outside, his demeanor had changed. He became the man everyone feared: a dangerous man who had no capacity for affection. He became the man who was being chased for hundreds of criminal actions, he became the man that no one was able to get close enough to catch, apart from one…_

_Little did he know that on December 23_ _rd_ _, while he was in his car across the street from a certain park, watching_ that _man talking to a boy, his angel's heart would beat for the last time…_

****-Ж-** **

Chaos erupted around me. I could hear screams and cries and yet I couldn't move. All I saw was Alice, holding William in her arms, shaking like a leaf. Tears were streaming from William's eyes as they bore right into my soul. I was looking at him and I couldn't comprehend what I'd just heard.

_William_ _Anthony Swan_

_If she ever comes to you, please listen to her. You might be surprised by the things she has to say._

_I'll be gone for two months_ _and I really need to talk to you before I leave. Please…_

A gun shot and someone calling my name brought me back from my shock. I turned around but everything moved in slow motion. I could see a familiar face crying as he pointed his gun at me.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

I felt a hand dragging me backwards. I turned around and saw William breathing with difficulty through his cries as he tried to speak at the same time. "N-no! N-n-not ag-again! No!"

"Cullen!" the man yelled but my eyes were glued to William's face.

"It's okay, Will," I smiled. "Everything will be fine." I was more focused now and I could recognize the voice now. It was Adriani.

"Cullen!" he roared. I winked at William in a feeble attempt to calm him and turned to face the man I'd been trying to catch for years.

"Adriani," I said calmly. "You don't want to do this now."

"Shut up! I'll do whatever the fuck I want!"

That fucker was out of control. I had to calm him down or at least make sure everyone left the room, particularly William. Any second now, Adriani could flip out and start shooting.

"James, I need you to take it easy, okay? There are innocent children in here," I said as evenly as possible, trying at the same time to calm myself. He started looking around the hall and when he saw the terrified children, his demeanor changed. He looked heartbroken. He put the gun barrel to the side of his head and shut his eyes tightly.

"Bambini, please don't cry. I didn't mean to scare you," he said loudly. His brain was really fucked up.

"Why don't you let the kids and their parents go? It's me you want, right?" He nodded. "Well, you have me. Let them go."

"Go," was all he said.

Mothers grabbed their children by the shoulders and hastily left the room. Some of them even mouthed 'thank you' at me on their way out and I could see the pity in the eyes of the rest of the people. It was as if they were telling me 'I will always remember your sacrifice.'

"Will, come on hun," Alice said. "You heard what the man said. Let's go."

He started sobbing hard, shaking his head frantically. My heart broke at the sight of his meltdown. "You …you p-pr-promised m-me. Y-you p-promised to be… to be safe."

"William," I said, never taking my eyes off Adriani, "listen to Ms. Brandon and do as she says." I finished sternly. James narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at William. If he figured out what that kid meant to me…

Alice started walking toward the door, practically dragging William after her, who never once took his eyes off of me. That fucker followed them to the door. That was my moment; I could take him down and end everything instantly. I quickly opened the case on my gun and took it out, hissing from pain at the same time. Adriani heard me and then his next move immobilized me. He snatched William from Alice's arms, knocking her to the ground, and placed his gun to Will's temple.

"No!" Alice screeched desperately.

"Do you think that you even had a chance, Cullen?" he said menacingly. "Drop your fucking gun and kick it toward me!" he commanded.

I did as he said. William was trying to be calm, but Alice wasn't having as much luck. She was in hysterics, begging him to let Will go. Once my gun was almost in front of his feet, he kneeled and took it in his hand. He pushed William toward me with such force that it knocked him to the ground. He hit his head on the corner of a chair and it started bleeding on the side.

"He's only a child, you monster!" Alice wailed as she launched herself at him, hitting him on his chest with her tiny fists.

I kneeled in front of Will to examine the cut. It wasn't big but it bled like hell. I remember Carlisle telling me once that head injuries bled a lot because the skin there is so thin and also because of the brain and its need for huge amounts of blood. He placed his palm on the cut and groaned when he saw the blood.

Adriani grabbed Alice by her hair, dragged her to the door and threw her out of the room, locking the door using the hinge. She pounded on the door, screaming William's name.

"Now it's just the three of us," he said and started walking to us. Automatically I pushed William behind me, protecting him with my body. He wanted me and he had me.

"William," he started calmly.

"Don't talk to him," I snarled. "Don't even come near him! Touch him and you're dead! I swear to God!"

He smiled sadly. "Haven't you heard Cullen? I already am, since December 23rd," he said and looked at me. "Now, William, I need you to do me a favor. Take his handcuffs and put them on him," he finished calmly. "Do it and no one will get hurt."

Son of a bitch!

"Blackmailing a child, Adriani?" I growled. I'd send that fucker to hell once I had my hands on him.

"Do you promise?" William asked.

"Of course," he said but I could see that he was lying. The glint he had in his eyes and the disgusting smile that tugged at the corner of his lips spoke volumes.

"Okay," William whispered. He reached under my jacket and grabbed the handcuffs. He opened the one cuff and put it around my wrist, locking it securely. His next move took me by surprise. He tugged my arm back and put the handcuff as high as it could go. By doing it this way, he made sure the cuff wasn't as tight as it should be. He closed the handcuff and it fell on my wrist loose. With a bit of effort, I was sure I'd be able to release myself.

James went and stood in front of the window, looking outside, saying nothing as he watched the people that were surely gathered outside the school by now. William was looking at me intently; no words needed to be spoken that moment. I could see the despair, the concern… the love in his eyes. He leaned forward and placed his mouth next to my ear.

"I know you're mad and I know that after we're done here you probably won't talk to me ever again, but I need your help. Can you tell me where the keys for the cuffs are? I'll get them for you and put them in your hand."

How could he even think that? The fact that he was Bella's son didn't change how I felt about him. He was smart, kind hearted, innocent, a warrior. I smiled at his bravery. "Inside my front jacket pocket," I whispered. "Don't talk to him and do _not_ make him angry."

As William reached for the keys, that motherfucker turned around and saw us. "I wouldn't do that!" he yelled making William jump. "Give me the keys!" he barked. "You're one nasty little shit, do you know that?" he snapped as he raised his hand to hit him.

"I swear to God if you touch him, I will bury you in the deepest pit of hell, you son of a bitch! I swear!" I yelled. "You have me! Do what the fuck you need to do with me but don't touch him!"

"Protective of the kid, aren't we?" he mocked.

"Fuck you!" I spat.

He smiled sadly. "You know," he started. "When I came to America at the age of thirteen, I had so many dreams. The first one was to go and see a Red Sox game, then graduate from school and become a lawyer. All of them came true. My father was so proud of me. I was an only child. He was bragging about how his son would rule courthouses. We were so poor and yet there wasn't a thing I missed. He worked day and night to give me everything: sent me to private schools, made me learn different languages. It all paid off: I worked hard and got into Harvard Law School.

"I was valedictorian. Did you know that? When I graduated, the biggest law firms were begging me to join them, I was that good- perhaps the best in the past ten years. Instead, I chose to go to a small firm. Why? Because I wanted to start from the lowest point possible. I wanted to see what I could accomplish if I started from zero and I couldn't do that if I went to a big firm. I was elated when I was hired. My father's disappointment was clear but he was supportive," he said and paused.

"I don't want to know the fucking story of your life!" I hissed. "Let him go!"

"Oh, but you have to!" he fired back gently. That asshole had major issues with his fucking mind! "I want you to know how I became…this. I want you to know that I had no choice!"

"There's always a choice!"

"No, there isn't. There wasn't in my case. You know why? 'Cuz I fell in love! When I saw her standing in front of my desk, asking me for help… If only I knew back then… Everything happened so fast. The one day I was in a court room working on her rape case and the next thing I knew, we were flying to Vegas to get married.

"Everything was peaceful until one day I came back from work and found her on the floor passed out. I called 911 and soon I found out she was a chronic drug user. I couldn't leave her alone; I loved her. She spent the next two years in and out of rehab. I took out loans from the banks. The last attempt was more successful. My girl was getting better by the day.

"The day we found out she was pregnant was the happiest day of my life. I wanted children. The pregnancy was going okay until the day I received a call from the hospital. She had overdosed and the doc needed to take the baby out or else she would die. Lynn died during the surgery. She had a heart attack but my daughter," he said and started crying, "my Celia survived and she was so beautiful. She had to stay in an incubator for a month and then I would have her. I hated her mother for this. She jeopardized our child's health for her sick need… she almost killed our baby.

"There's no greater happiness than to hold your baby in your hands. You don't have kids so you don't know the feeling," he said, taking a picture out of his wallet and looking at it.

My eyes immediately shifted to look at William. He was sitting next to me, with his fists clenched at his sides, as he stared at the floor. He was Bella's son… The baby I saw in the photo at Charlie's house was William.

"She was all I had left. My father helped me raise her; I had a mortgage and loans to pay. I worked long hours but I didn't care as long as I went home at night and got to hold her in my arms. My Celia was growing up so fast and her beauty was near angelic.

"When she was one, my Godfather immigrated to the States. He came here with only a duffle bag and in less than a year he bought a house. I became suspicious of the way he obtained so much money. He asked me to become his personal lawyer, promising me a six- figure salary; to be specific, five times more than I used to get from the law firm. I needed the money so I took the job," he said and paused to look at William and then back at me.

I wasn't talking. I stayed silent and listened to him all because I wanted him distracted while I worked to free my hand from the cuff. At some point William came over and stood in front of me, hiding half of my form behind him. The kid was trying to help me.

"Soon I had to cover his illegal activities. I found out that the reason he came to the States was because he was a member of the mafia: drugs, gun smuggling, prostitution. I didn't like it at all but it paid my loans off and provided everything else I needed for my baby girl. Without realizing it, I was initiated in as well. At first I was acting like a romantic fool who treasured human life. I didn't want to be part of anything that would cause a life to be lost but that didn't last long.

"One day, I got home from work and found my father drained of his blood in the bathtub and Celia gone. That was my wake-up call. I swore that I would find his murderer and kill him with my bare hands. I didn't sleep or eat for a week. I searched under every fucking stone until I found the fucker who took my reason for living. When I had secured Celia, I spent the next three days killing him slowly and painfully…

"I left him in a room to bleed to death and never once did I regret it. He deserved it! After that night, I became the second in command, following my Godfather's footsteps in the crime world. This is how I became the man I am now. That was the reason I lost my soul and I would do it all over again just to protect her. If only I knew then," he continued and started shaking. "If o-only…"

'Fucking shit! These cuffs will never come off,' I hissed in my head.

"Il mio Celia, il mio angelo. Mi dispiace così tanto ... Ti prego perdonami," he cried over and over again.

"Asking for forgiveness won't do much, Adriani," I said calmly.

"It's your damn fault she died alone! I would have been there with her... I should have been there with her but instead I was looking for you! All I wanted was for your sorry ass to cut me some slack and stop looking for me! Do you think I didn't know? Even though you weren't on that pathetic police task force, you were trying to find a way to get to me! That red-headed bitch that works there made sure I knew every move you made!" he roared at me.

Victoria? No! She would never do something like that!

William started taking deep breaths and little by little he was covering me with his body. Adriani pushed Will aside and stood face to face with me. "My baby died and she was alone because of you!"

"What?" William whispered. Damn it! I told him not to talk to him. Adriani looked at him and then back at me.

"Celia collapsed one day at her school. They took her to the hospital and called me. I thought that she fell and had a broken hand or something small. I started panicking when they told me to go to the ICU and wait for the doctor. After a while the doctor informed me that she had an enlarged heart. Everything collapsed around me; I didn't know what to do. It was caused by cardiomyopathy and she definitely need a transplant to survive. She was registered into the Transplant Program and we waited for a miracle. Day by day, I watched my baby fade away and I couldn't do a thing to stop it. I tried to bribe them to put her higher on the list, I promised them millions of dollars but nothing seemed to interest them. I couldn't get past that damn organization. I even tried to get her a heart from the black market but I came up empty handed. It was as if everyone decided to live instead of die. Despite the shit she was going through, she was such a happy child and so brave," he finished and started walking toward the windows.

"Can you tell me more about her?" William asked. "I was in an incubator too." My head snapped to look at him and was surprised to see him looking back at me, rather than Adriani.

James turned and looked at him, his eyes soft. "My daughter loved dancing. Not ballet and shit like that. She liked ballroom dancing. When she was five, she demanded that I enroll both of us in lessons. She said that I was her Prince Charming and that she never wanted to dance with another boy..."

He kept talking for a long time, telling us stories about the girl. We must have been in that room for at least three hours by that point and the fucking cuffs were still around my wrists. A small growl- barely audible- left my chest as I tried to release my hand from the loosened cuff. William must have heard me and turned around. He was tired and pale. He quickly looked at James to see if he was looking and then looked behind my back.

"It's right below your knuckles," he whispered. "Just a bit more and you're done," he finished and smiled. "Just squeeze your fingers together and they're off."

I smirked. "Charlie taught you well," I said and licked my lips. I was so fucking thirsty.

"Sir?" Will asked loudly.

James turned and looked at him. "Can I get him some water? He's thirsty," he said and that fucker started walking toward him. Shit!

"William, no!" I whispered.

"No." Adriani responded.

"Please sir. He's hurt and thirsty," Will pleaded.

"I said no!" he said angrily.

"Please sir," William said again.

"Fine, if it will get you to shut up," he growled.

William eyed him for a second before he spoke again. "Just don't hurt him, okay?"

"I would never do that," he said. As William started walking towards the far end of the room to a table that contained water and several soft drinks, he leaned in and whispered. "It's a fucking lie of course. I plan to kill you and then kill myself." I wasn't listening to him though. My eyes were glued to William, watching his every move.

"Got a soft spot for the kid?" James snarled in my ear. I lifted my head and glared at him. He was so fucking dead.

"That's none of your fucking business. You stay away from him!" I hissed. "You destroy every living thing in your path."

"Shut up," he said angrily.

"Why? The truth is a bitch, isn't she?"

"Shut up!" he yelled.

I started laughing because I was getting to him. All I wanted was for him to make the wrong move. If he knocked me to the ground, it might be enough force to release me from the cuff.

"No child deserves to die, James, and I'm sorry a little girl had to suffer. But you should be glad she didn't grow up to know what a low life shit of a father she had," I said and that did it. He let out a loud roar, raised the hand that held the gun and hit me across the face, knocking me to the ground.

"No!" William screamed. "Leave my d- leave him alone!" he growled, dropping the water as he ran, and launched himself at James, kicking the gun out of his hand.

"Will, don't," I yelled but it was too late. That motherfucker picked him up like he was a feather and threw him in a small library. William let out a bloodcurdling scream with the impact and fell to the floor, with the glass shattering and furniture falling right on top of him.

Everything happened so fast. I wrenched my hand free of the cuff, feeling my skin tear as I got loose. I crawled to where the gun was, picked it up and shot the son of a bitch in his chest. He fell to his knees and a gust of air left his lungs. My heart was beating wildly in my chest. I dropped the gun and ran to William. With all the strength I had, I lifted the furniture off him and let it fall next to him.

Someone finally broke down the door. People starting entering the room but I didn't pay attention to any of them. William was lying on the floor with his eyes closed.

"Edward?" I heard Victoria say.

I turned my gaze on her. "Bitch, stay away from me right now; you can be sure that you and I are going to have a talk later!" I spat. She turned pale and took a few steps back.

I turned back to assist William in any way that I could. He lay on the floor pale as a ghost. "Will, can you hear me?" I asked.

There was no response. I tore his shirt and I saw that he was wearing the talisman I gave him. I moved it to the side and saw that there was a big gash across his chest and a piece on glass embedded in his body. I let out a strangled sob but knew I shouldn't touch the glass. Two medics came into the room. One ran toward Adriani and kneeled beside him and the other came to William. He examined the skin and area around the glass before pulling it out.

"Roberts, I need help here!" the other medic yelled.

"Here!" Roberts said to me. "Press the wound and I'll be back!" as he got up and left.

I did as I was told. "William, please kid open your eyes," I said.

I was suffocating. I loosened my tie with one hand and then started unbuttoning my jacket. I took it off with fast moves. I looked at the paramedics and they were doing CPR on that fucker. He didn't deserve to live!

As I pressed on his chest, I started checking his exposed body with my eyes trying to find if there were any other wounds. There were scratches, and right over his ribcage on his left side, there was a huge bruise. Fuck, that wasn't good! I pushed the skin lightly there, feeling the surface hard. I was afraid he might have internal bleeding. I looked at his face and I saw his eyelids flutter until they opened.

"There you are," I smiled at him as our eyes met. He didn't say a word. I could feel his chest shaking under my hands and his eyes welled with tears. "You're gonna be alright, kiddo. You just have a small gash. A few stitches and you'll be good as new," I said in a feeble attempt to calm him down. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but no sound came out. "Shh, please don't talk. Just try to keep your eyes open."

He let out a sob and a couple drops of blood came out of his mouth. No God please!

"I- I…" he whispered.

"No, no, William, hush," I said desperately. "Keep your eyes open."

He blinked lazily and his tears streamed down his cheeks. "I-I… lo…" he said but he didn't get to finish. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and closed.

"No! No! No! Will, stay with me! Will!" I yelled and started slapping him lightly. "I need a fucking medic!" I roared. That fucker had two of them working on him while William was lying on the floor, perfectly still.

I sat above him and applied pressure on his chest wound. I could barely see anything through my tears. "Will, open your eyes," I cried. "Come on kid, don't leave me now."

Two paramedics rushed through the door and ran toward us. "Sir, please step back. We've got him now," one said and I off to the side.

"John, I need to get a line in and we're leaving. St. Joseph is packed. Which one is next?" he asked and he extended Will's hand to put in the IV.

"Northwestern Memorial," I blurted out. "My brother is a doctor there."

"Okay," the other guy said and gave an ETA through his radio.

"Crap!" he said. "He has broken ribs and his spleen has probably been ruptured. Look," he finished and extended Will's hand more.

My eyes fell on his ribs and when I looked up the side of his torso, the air left my lungs. He had a small birthmark right under his armpit. It was a very small, light brown shade in the shape of what looked like an abstract cloud. I had seen that mark before… on Emmett's right thigh and on me… next to my navel.

At that moment, I remembered what he told me months ago when I thought that his father pretended that he didn't exist.

_He doesn't pretend. He doesn't know I exist. It's for the best._

No! It couldn't be… How?

"Oh my God!" I whispered and I started shaking. "No! This isn't happening! No!"

"I'm in. Go and bring the stretcher," the paramedic said and the other rushed out.

Within seconds, he was on the stretcher being rolled outside. When we got out, Alice rushed to us, screaming William's name. Marcus ran in after her.

"Alice," I said and she looked at me. "Marcus will bring you down to Northwestern. Emmett works there, okay? I'll stay with Will and meet you there. He'll be fine," I finished and she nodded as she cried hysterically.

Once we were on the road, I called Emmett.

" _Hey little…_ " he started but I cut him off.

"Emmett, listen to me. I'm coming with the ambulance. William is hurt! Please wait for us," I said quickly.

" _Edward?_ "

"Please, Emmett. I need someone I trust with him, please," I choked.

" _Okay, okay. Calm down. I'll be there,_ " he said and hung up.

I brushed my fingers across his cheek and removed a strand of his hair from his eyes. Never before had I felt so scared in my life.

_There was a pause. "Odd," she said._

" _What?"_

" _I could swear that you have the same eyes."_

" _N-no, we don't. I got my eyes from my… aunt. Yes, my aunt."_

"Jesus!" I whispered.

" _Oh man, not the hair," he whined._

_Emmett folded his hands on his chest. "Why?"_

" _Because there is a war between my hair and the comb. These two don't co-operate."_

The tires of the ambulance screeched loudly as we stopped. I saw Emmett standing at the entrance in his scrubs. I looked at William one more time and the doors opened. Emmett saw me and ran to me, a confused look on his face. He saw William on the stretcher and snapped his head to look at me.

"Edward, what the fuck happened?"

"Emmett, help him please," I pleaded as they wheeled William into the ER.

"Edward, look at me," he said. My eyes met mine and the damn well opened. My tears were unstoppable. "Who's that kid?"

"He's…B-Bella's son…Emmett," I choked.

"Oh fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Em…he's _my_ son," I whispered and I sank to the floor right outside the emergency room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian Translations:
> 
> Il mio Celia, il mio angelo. Mi dispiace così tanto ... Ti prego perdonami: My Celia, my angel. I'm so sorry ... Please forgive me
> 
> His heart: Il suo cuore


	12. When Worlds Collide  part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

Alice arrived shortly after we did and walked quickly in my direction as she talked on the phone. "I'm a goddamned District Attorney and when I say it's important to contact someone on that flight, you don't get to question me!" I gaped at her. "I don't care! I can't wait for twenty-five hours! Make it happen!" she snapped and shut the phone.

Marcus followed right after her and I swear he was ready to shit himself. I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Where's that bitch?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "She is not a bitch!"

"I'm not speaking to you, Alice. You and I are going to talk later," I said and got up off the floor. "Marcus, where's Vicky?"

"At the station. She left when we entered the school," he said with furrowed eyebrows.

"Call the guys and tell them to arrest her. She was the mole. She was the one that worked with Adriani." His face became red and I thought he would give himself a stroke. "That fucker told me," I finished and I thought back to all the times she lied to me or the day I caught her talking on the phone.

"Are you sure?" he growled.

"Positive! Get her before she leaves!" Marcus pulled out his phone and started walking toward the exit.

We waited outside the emergency room silently. I had to be calm for him. It wouldn't do any good if I lost it. The doors of the ER opened and Emmett came outside. His surprise was more than evident when he saw Alice there. By the look on his face, though, I knew that it wasn't good news.

"Emmett?" I asked.

"Let's go and sit," he said and pointed to a small couch next to the reception area.

"I don't want to sit," I choked. "Please tell me."

"Okay," he said, taking a big breath. "The laceration on his chest wasn't deep, so the basic organs weren't harmed. The X-Ray showed us that his true ribs," he said, pointing to his left side, "… six and seven broke. The edge of number seven ruptured the spleen and caused internal bleeding."

"No," Alice whispered, and I grabbed her right before she collapsed to the floor.

"They're preparing him for surgery. Sarah will try to suture the spleen. If it doesn't work, then she'll have to remove it. While we stitched him up, he vomited and had a small seizure. The impact caused some swelling in his brain," he said and paused. "The MRI showed that it's very small, and Sarah is positive that the swelling will go away in less than a week. They'll have him sedated for the first seventy-two hours, and with the proper medication and oxygen therapy, it will heal."

By the time Emmett was done, I was ready to pass out.

"We will need some blood," Emmett said. "B _negative_ , to be precise," he finished, looking intently at me. It was our blood type and very rare. Only O minus and B minus were acceptable to our blood stream.

"Where do I go?" I said at once.

"Come with me," he said.

"Edward?" Alice whispered.

I helped her sit down. "Emmett, William and I share the same blood type. We're going to give blood because they're going to need it for the surgery, okay?" I asked and she nodded. The fierce woman that entered the hospital was gone and now I was looking at a terrified creature.

"What am I going to do?" she sobbed. "I can't reach Bella and Charlie's plane lands in two hours! What if something happens?"

"Listen to me!" I said and forced her to look at me. "Nothing will happen. He's going to be okay. You stay here and wait for me, all right? When I get back, we'll talk."

Everyone was working fast in the Haematology department. They sat us down and started working on us. I could hear Emmett talking to me but I couldn't respond. Only one thing was imprinted on my mind…

I had a son… Bella and I had a son. A son I never knew about.

_You might be surprised by the things she has to say._

The first emotion after that realization was anger… anger like no one else had ever experienced before. Charlie knew about William all along and never once did he mention anything. Why? What did I ever do, apart from loving her? Where did I go wrong? Why was he kept a secret from me?

"Jasper, I have no idea… Just… just get here as quickly as possible," I heard Emmett whisper over the phone.

" _You know," she said as she got out to the shore. "I was thinking about something you asked me a_ _few days ago."_

" _I asked you many things a few days ago," I teased._

" _I remember," she replied as she snuggled closer to me._

" _So what were you thinking?"_

" _I want us to have only sons. I don't think your poor heart could handle a daughter in her teens years from now," she laughed. "I want our boys to have your eyes, your heart, your mind," she said and paused._

" _Buuuut…" I continued._

" _I want them to have my hair color. I don't want my poor babies to be teased about having hair the color of a penny," she finished and started laughing._

" _Oooh, I'm gonna get you, Swan," I faked a growl and attacked her sides._

"Edward?" Emmett said, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"We're done. Come on, let's get you changed and then I'll patch you up."

"I need to check on Alice. She's alone Emmett," I said.

"Jasper is with her. Come on, let's go."

He took me to his locker so he could give me some scrubs and then pointed me toward the shower. I stayed under the spray God only knows how long. My mind was running in different directions.

Did she leave me because she was pregnant?

Was that the reason she took the money?

Was she ever planning on telling me about Will?

Would she keep him away from me?

Did Carlisle know?

"That motherfucker," I growled. "He must have. He's a fucking doctor."

"Ed," I heard Emmett outside the shower room. "They'll be taking the kid to surgery in a few. Get ready."

I dressed quickly and headed to the emergency area. Jasper was sitting on a couch, holding his head in his hands. Alice was nowhere to be seen.

"Come with me," Emmett said.

Emmett took me to see William, who was in a small room with Alice standing next to him. He had his eyes closed and he was so very pale. His body was connected to machines and had two drips in his arm. The cut on his chest was covered and the bruise on his side was almost black.

"Jesus Christ," I said with a shaky voice.

"When you get well," Alice said through her tears, "we'll go to Seattle to visit Pops, and then we'll go to see the Mariners. What do you think? After that, we'll hop to the first plane and go to Disneyland. We'll ride Space Mountain and then…th…" she said and started heaving. "Then, I'll s-s-sit next you so…s-so you can laugh a-at me w-while I scream bloody murder," she finished and started crying hard. "I love you, William." She kissed his hand and placed their entwined hands on her forehead.

I sat on a small space on his bed. Alice looked at me, her eyes holding such regret. Simply on instinct, I placed my hand on top of hers. She wasn't to blame; I didn't know her back then and she didn't know me. I smiled sadly at her, reassuring her that I was okay, even though there was so much to talk about.

"Hey kiddo," I whispered. "You're going to get well, you hear me? And when you fully recover, we'll meet at the park again like we always do and play with Sandler."

"Who's Sandler?" she whispered.

"His dog."

"Sunny. His name is Sunny," she sniffled. The door opened and two nurses entered. Checking the equipment one last time, they wheeled him away.

Emmett told us that he couldn't go into Will's surgery because he had one to perform as well. The estimated time, barring any unforeseen complications, was about three hours and he promised that he would be back by then. We sat in the waiting room near the OR and waited. Alice was curled in Jasper's arms, crying silently. That was when I realized why she never moved on with Jasper …because she wanted to keep Bella and William away from me.

Why?

"Alice?" I asked and she turned to look at me with red eyes. "You avoided Jasper because of me, didn't you?" Fresh tears formed in her eyes and she nodded. "But why?"

"Edward," she hiccupped. "I can't tell you much. It's not my place. Once she gets here, she will. I'm sure of it."

"Did you tell her I know?" I asked.

"No. I only left the message that something happened at William's school, that we took him to the hospital and that she needs to come home immediately. I thought it was better not to give her too much info because she'd panic."

I nodded. "Don't tell her I know."

We stayed silent for several minutes. "I only told Charlie," she whispered. "He was coming here for Will's birthday."

" _How old are you?" I asked._

" _I'll be thirteen in January," he answered._

"When is his birthday?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

She hunched her shoulders and started crying again. "Today…"

****-Ж-** **

An hour later, with Jasper's help, I convinced Alice to let him take her home so she could bring a few things for William since he would need them. She hesitatingly agreed, and I promised to call Jasper if there was any news in between. She would have to take Sunny to a kennel until someone was able to retrieve him as well. When they finally left, I broke down.

I started crying so hard. I cried for William, for me, for Bella as I remembered the things William told me about his mom from time to time. What did all that mean? I felt so angry and betrayed because they were just lies. The life I always dreamt of having with her… the life I was close to having and that was ripped away from me. Why? Why? Why?

_They tried to give her money, but she never accepted. She's a very proud person when it comes to that._

_I'm glad he doesn't know. Had he known about me, he would have suffered._

"Oh Will," I sobbed.

"You know," I heard a voice and turned to look at the source. Charlie was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. "When William visited me in Forks two years ago, I was so scared. Bella had exams and Alice needed to leave for a while, so I offered to take him for a couple of weeks. It was on Spring break to be exact. Emmett's engagement was only in two days, so I had to act fast. I booked him a ticket on the first flight available and Will arrived two days before you did," he continued as he sat in a chair across me. "I had to be very careful moving around with him. That was why I took a leave of absence from work and told you I was going on a fishing trip with Billy. Remember?" he asked and I nodded. "I didn't go of course. Having a ten-year old full of energy on that tiny boat isn't fun," he said and smiled sadly.

"I decided to stay at home with him. One day, he was sitting on the couch looking at a picture he carried with him since he was five. It was a picture of you," he paused and my heart skipped a beat.

"'Pops?' he asked me. 'Will I ever get to see him for real?' Edward, I swear to God, my heart shattered from his question. At that very moment, an idea formed in my head. I knew the day and time you'd be leaving so I borrowed Sue's car and took him to your house. We hid in the woods and waited for you. Edward, when that kid saw you for the first time, he was shocked. The moment you stepped on the porch, he turned and looked at me with those eyes and said, 'My dad.'

"We didn't tell Bella of course. She'd figured out that you and I spoke from time to time, but she never knew the extent of our relationship. One night, during last September, he called me panicked. He was rambling that he saw you and that he left without saying a word. I told him to relax and tell me from the beginning what had happened. After the panic passed, he told me only one thing," he said and smiled.

"What did he tell you?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

"'My dad kicks ass!'" he said, trying to imitate William. I smiled and exhaled loudly and the dam opened again. "After the interview happened, he made a decision. He would try to look for you and get to know you without revealing his true identity. That was why you always met him at the park. That was why he went to that station and asked to follow you around. He didn't need to know anything about the police shit. He had me for the information he needed. However, when you explained the cruiser, to him it was as if you told him a bedtime story. 'My dad told me this,' 'my dad told me that,' 'Isn't it cool Pops?'

"The worse was the day you got shot. He begged me to call your station to find out your whereabouts. He was frantic: he cried all the time, rarely slept and when he did, he would dream about it. Even though I advised him not to visit you at the hospital because of Bella, he did. I had never heard him so angry before. 'You don't get to tell me what to do, Charlie. He almost died and he's alone!' he told me and hung up the phone. Bella didn't tell me about the shot. I called her to check up on her and I knew that she would spill everything to me. I had to find a way to keep her at her house while he was with you. She couldn't find out, son."

"Why the hell not?" I growled through my tears. "He's my son, Charlie! I had a right to know about him. To be a part of his life!"

"You have a right to feel that way. I told her this but it was her decision. You don't know the facts," he said calmly.

"Then fucking tell me!"

"It's not my story to tell. I can tell you however that I understand her reasoning even though had I been in her shoes, I probably would have made a different choice. I know what it feels not to be able to support your kid financially when the right time comes and she needs to go to college."

"Are you telling me that she took money from my family to pay for her studies? Is that what you mean? That she sold my fucking heart for thirty grand?"

"I know you're angry, but you'd better chose your words wisely around me the next time you talk about my daughter, son! I mean it. I love you like my own but I won't hesitate to knock you on your ass!" he said angrily. "Unless you know the whole story, you'd better keep your mouth shut!"

I was momentarily taken aback. "Did Carlisle know?" I asked and he looked at me confused. "About my son, I mean."

"No," he sighed. "Listen, the reason _I_ didn't want her to find out was because she would have gotten onto the first plane with him and leave. This thing had to come to an end, Edward. Unfortunately, it happened like this but…"

"But what, Charlie? I loved this kid without even knowing he was mine. Do you realize what happened to me when I heard his name? What the fuck happened once I saw his birthmark?"

"No, but I can imagine.".

"You can't, Charlie," I choked. "Fuck!"

I was losing my mind at that point. I needed answers that no one was willing to give me. Only Bella could and she wasn't here. The whole situation was surreal. Things like this didn't happen apart from books and movies. What was I supposed to do? I was fucked up.

Charlie chuckled and I glared at him. "There is nothing funny about this situation," I snapped.

"That's not the reason I'm laughing. Do you remember when we went fishing? When you told me to say hi on the phone?"

" _Hello kid," Charlie smirked and we heard something breaking._

" _Shit," he said quickly. "I've to go, bye!" The line went dead and I scowled at the phone._

" _Awkward."_

" _Oh yeah," Charlie laughed._

"I called him the following morning. He went ballistic. 'Pops are you out of your mind? You gave me a heart attack.' He chastised me for being reckless- a twelve-year old chastising his grandpa, can you imagine?" he finished and chuckled again.

As I was about to open my mouth and talk, Alice and Jasper returned. When she saw Charlie, she ran to him and started crying, apologizing for not being able to protect him. I was the one who should be doing that and not her.

"Mary Alice, it's okay. This wasn't your fault," he said and held her tight.

Jasper came and sat beside me, giving me a cup of coffee. "Here. I think you'll need this."

"Thanks, Tex," I whispered.

"Dude," he said leaning over my ear. "That house reeks with your face. Apart from Alice's bedroom, the kitchen and the bathroom, there is a photo of you in every room."

"Jasper, please. I am starting to calm down. J-just d-don't," I whispered.

"Is it true? Is that boy yours?" he asked and I nodded.

"Damn!" was all he said. "She told me everything I needed to know as to why she didn't want to continue with me, ya know."

"I'm sorry," I said looking at the floor.

"This isn't your fault or hers. She didn't even tell Bella the real reason. Alice told her that she was very busy and didn't have time for romance," he sighed.

"So you're okay?" I asked.

"I think so. Time will tell," he said and gave me a small pat on my back. "He's going to be fine, Edward. He's your kid after all," he reassured me.

Emmett entered the waiting area and a woman followed behind him. "Hello," she smiled. "I am Dr. Forester, William's doctor," she said and looked at Alice. "You're his mother, I assume?"

"No, his mother is away on a trip. I'm waiting for her to land to talk to her. I'm his guardian," she paused and turned to look at me and smiled briefly. She extended her hand and spoke again. "His father is here."

I approached them and the doctor started talking. "As you already know his spleen was ruptured. I tried really hard to save the organ but unfortunately we had to proceed to a full splenectomy. The tear was too big to be sutured. Since the organ was linked to his immune system, he may have to be kept on antibiotics until he's sixteen."

"Jesus," I choked.

"No need to worry. I'll be monitoring his progress every now and then and based on how that goes, we'll see. The ribs were readjusted but will take a few months to heal. As Dr. Cullen informed you, the MRI showed a small cerebral edema. We'll keep him in an induced comma for the next seventy-two hours and then we will leave him to wake up on his own. I am 100% positive that the swelling hasn't caused any brain damage."

"Is there a chance he might need more blood?" I asked. I was ready to fucking drain myself if he needed more.

"No," she smiled. "Usually patients in your son's condition need to be in the ICU at least for forty-eight hours. We'll keep him there today for post-operational observation and tomorrow afternoon we'll move him to a private room. Emmett promised that he'll be personally observing the child as long as it takes." I looked at my brother and he smiled sadly at me.

"May we see him please?" Alice cried.

"Only for five minutes and one person at a time," the doctor said. "Follow me please," she said and they were gone.

"Thank you, Emmett," I said and hugged him.

"No need to thank me," he said and released me. "Anything for my family. And he's my family too."

As I waited for Alice and Charlie to finish, I disinfected my hands and put on a single-use sterilized gown and mask. When they exited, both had red eyes. Alice paused for a second.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what? I should be-"

"For not being angry with me," she whispered.

"Alice, anger is the last thing on my mind right now. Am I upset? Yes, but I know that it wouldn't help William so…"

"I know," she said and left.

I entered the room. When I saw him lying there, I swear to God it was as if someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. With small steps, I approached him and sat on the chair. I took his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles.

"William, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you from him," I whispered. "Please wake up soon or else I don't know what am I gonna do, kiddo."

Everything started coming at once: every single question he asked and how every single answer came back to Bella. At the time, I never suspected anything. I just thought of them as coincidences, how his mother had so many common interests with Bella. His overprotection toward me in every shitty situation we came across, his panic when I got shot. The longing he made me feel every single time we parted.

"You managed to change my life. You made me want to be a better man that hopes and dreams," I said and a lump started forming on my throat. "I'm not mad at you, William. I could never be mad at you… I-I love you kiddo."

_My father is so similar to Officer Cullen. I was unfortunate in my life; fate and bad decisions prevented me from knowing my father. I know who he was and what he meant to my mother; I know what he would have meant to me. If I the chance to look at him in the eyes right now, I would have told him that he was, is and will always be my hero._

_Edward, I love you._

_No! Leave my d- leave him alone!_

"You were going to say Dad, weren't you? You knew all along," I said and started crying. "You told me that I'm your dad and I didn't realize it. Ah, Will." I whispered as my tears took over once again.

****-Ж-** **

The next two days passed in a blur. I didn't leave the hospital at all. I spent the first night in Emmett's office since I wasn't allowed to stay in the ICU. Charlie kept me company and left only for a few hours the following morning to have a shower, eat something and come back.

Dr. Forester, true to her words, moved William to a private suite. Even though Bella's health insurance covered everything William needed for his hospitalization, it didn't cover the luxurious room. Emmett covered everything much to Alice's, Charlie's and my dismay. He said anything for family and he meant it. He never left his side unless he had to do rounds or go to the ER. Rose was another story. When she found out the new developments, she was beyond shocked; she was angry and happy at the same time. I made her promise to let me handle things the way I thought best.

That was why I was in the room alone, waiting for Bella.

Alice finally got a hold of her and informed her about William's situation as best as possible, leaving out the gory details. As requested, she didn't mention me. I didn't want her to come prepared; I wanted to catch her off guard... I just wanted the unfiltered truth.

I spent three days studying every tiny detail on his face. Emmett was right. We shared the same eye shape and he had her long eyelashes. He had her nose, her heart-shaped face and my lips. He was going to be tall like me. He was going to be a heartbreaker.

At last, Charlie left with Alice to get Bella from the airport. I looked at my watch and realized that she would arrive soon. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I was just drying my face when I heard the door open, something drop on the floor and soft whimpers.

"Oh, baby," she cried. I opened the door quietly and moved to stand in the corner behind her. She was sitting on the bed next to him, kissing every inch of his face. "I'm never leaving you again. It was such a mistake and I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Mommy loves you so very much," she paused. She still hadn't noticed me. "When you wake up, I have a surprise for you. Little man, your father is here in Chicago. I know much you wanted to know him and I'm sorry I kept it a secret. Once you wake up, I'll go and talk to him and bring him here. He will love you to pieces," she continued. Her shoulders started shaking and I knew she was crying. "I lost your father because I had no choice, sweetheart. I can't lose you too. Please... I _swear_ I'll tell your father everything." she finished and started crying even harder. "Just w-wake up… that's all I am asking."

I took a breath. "His father is already here," I said and she whirled around to look at me with wide eyes. "No more lies or secrets, Bella," I continued and sat on the chair directly across her, on the other side of Will's bed. "It's time for the truth…"


	13. A Woman's Worth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

To say that she was shocked to see me there was an understatement. Her eyes were wide and I could swear that she wasn't breathing. Not in a million years did she expect me to be there. I was dying to know what was going through her mind now; was she trying to find excuses or she was trying to figure out how I knew about Will?

"H-how… wh…" she stammered.

"The hows and the whys aren't important now. Do I know that I have a son? Yes," I started as evenly as possible. "Right now, I need the truth, Bella, and nothing more. The time has come at last, don't you think?"

"How did you find out?" she asked desperately. "How did this happen to him?"

I sighed. "I've known William since September. Did I know that he was my son back then? No. From what Charlie told me, after I came to see his class, William decided to seek me out and that was it…"

"Oh my God! It was you?" she whispered.

"We formed a friendship which we both knew meant more. I just couldn't understand at the time. Now I do…" I said, running my fingers through his dark hair.

"What happened at his school, Edward?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"Bella, my life is surrounded with fucked up people. That's what I do. James Adriani was one of these guys. Two weeks ago his daughter died from a heart condition and he wasn't with her. He was watching William and me, before the kid left. The day Will got hurt, James was informed that I was invited to William's school. The bottom line is that he wanted to kill me and then kill himself. I was handcuffed and he hit me. William saw it and he attacked James to stop him from hurting me. The rest is history," I said.

"What happened to that son of a bitch?" she hissed. I raised my eyebrows from the shock but recovered quickly. Bella never swore.

"I killed him on the spot," I said and lowered my head. "I didn't mean for Wi…"

"I know. It was just bad timing. You would never hurt anyone without cause," she whispered.

Bella stood up suddenly and reached for her purse. She quickly wiped her tears, took out her wallet and passed me a picture. I couldn't help but smile at the sight right before I felt tears in my eyes. I was looking at a beautiful baby, months old, with bright green eyes and a wide smile. His newly sprouting teeth filled all the dark holes and cracks of this world, reminding me what purity meant.

A sob ripped through my chest. "W-why?" I choked. I could feel my tears on my cheeks, but I didn't make a move to wipe them away. There was no point. I looked at my son and cried silently. "W-why?"

"I'm sorry, Edward," she sobbed. "You can't imagine how much I regret it now."

"I need to know."

She nodded. "I'll tell you everything," she whispered, as she kissed Will's hand. "Just give me a few minutes to clear my head."

She was exhausted; I could see that. She probably hadn't closed her eyes to get even a minute of sleep. The happy and loving girl I remembered was replaced by a woman spent. It was as if she had given up on everything and the only thing that kept her together was our son.

"Remember the day we were supposed to meet at the diner for breakfast but you never showed up?" she asked.

"That was because you called home and you said you couldn't make it," I said.

"No, I didn't call. You father called me and said that you had to be somewhere with your grandfather. I stayed home that day and waited for you to call me. Around noon, my doorbell rang and I rushed to it thinking it was you, but when I opened the door I saw Carlisle and Gregory instead," she said, running her hands through her hair. "They marched in the house uninvited. They were clearly disgusted with it compared to their 'palace'," she continued and looked at me. "I asked them if they wanted anything to drink but Carlisle refused saying that they needed to talk and I would listen."

"He paused several times to be honest; it was as if he wanted to avoid the talk, but at some point Gregory cleared his throat. That woke Carlisle up. He started talking about the family inheritance and how important it was. He said that he made the mistake of acting impulsively when it came to Esme and that he would always regret that he never followed his father's advice."

"Bella, what are you talking about?" I asked. I was baffled; this wasn't about Carlisle or Ma. It was about her and me.

"Your father was smitten with Esme, but he wasn't really in love with her. At least that's what he told me. When I asked why he was telling me all these things, he said that even though you didn't share any DNA, you were like him. I didn't believe him because I _knew_ you like no other did. He told me that I had no option but to leave you. Carlisle was ready to do whatever it took to prevent you from _repeating_ his _mistake_ ," she emphasized. "He offered me money, a lot of money that would pay not only for college but for med school as well. Of course I didn't accept it. I may have been poor, but I loved you and that's all I needed."

"You say you loved me but you still took the fucking money, Bella."

She shook her head and wiped her tears. "You didn't hear what I said. I didn't take the money, Edward," she whispered.

My heart started beating wildly in my chest. "Um, wh… what did you just say?"

" _I didn't take the money_ , Edward. When he 'proposed' this _alternative,_ I was beyond shocked. However, after I recovered I told him a simple no. I would never do something like that. He knew it."

"I don't understand," I said.

"When I refused, his stance changed. He paused for a few minutes and then he became more determined. When he next spoke, I knew it was all over."

"What did he say?" I said, barely keeping my shit together.

"That he would make sure every single person in my life would suffer, especially Charlie and you. If I didn't leave you, he would disavow you. He wouldn't support you financially and he'd leave you penniless. You would never become a Fed as you've always dreamed since you wouldn't have the family's support and connections."

_Charlie let me in the house and motioned me to go upstairs. I could hear her crying._

" _What's the matter, love?" I asked, as I sat on her bed, taking her in my arms._

" _I can't go with y-you," she wailed._

_What? "Baby, what are you talking about?"_

" _I got the acceptance letters from Dartmouth and Stanford."_

_I beamed at her. "Sweetheart, that's wonderful news!"_

" _No! It's not! Can't you see, Edward? I can't go! Charlie can't pay so much money! The bank only granted twenty thousand and that's barely enough for a year! I j-just can't!" she cried._

" _Bells…" I started but she cut me off._

" _I'll go to Arizona. It'll be better."_

_I would go wherever she went! I didn't give a shit about Stanford or Dartmouth. We would go together where it was more convenient for her. When Med school started, I would work two jobs if I had to, just so she could complete her studies. Police officers don't make that much but by the time I hit thirty, the trust fund would be activated and I'd be able to pay off her loans and expand our family._

" _So…" I started and smiled like the love struck fool I was. She looked at me as if I grew another head. "When are we leaving?"_

I got up from my chair, my chest heaving like a wild animal. That motherfucker! That sleazy, son of a whore caused all this! Despite of the murderous thoughts that violated my head, I needed to know more.

"Keep going," I growled.

"Edward, you knew my background, how much Charlie struggled financially. You knew he had already taken a loan to pay for my college tuition alone. How was I supposed to live with myself if I took your dreams away? How would I be able to know that at some point you would hate me for keeping you back from your accomplishments? You were counting on that money! Planning for it to ease the burden. You said it to me more than once. I know that money wasn't the most important thing to you. I know it probably still isn't but they were going to take it from you! Because of me! I couldn't do that to you. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to look at you for the rest of my life knowing that you would blame me even if you never voiced it," she cried. "I loved you. And then there was Charlie. He lived for his job. "

" _Bells, we've been through this," I said, rubbing my temples._

" _Exactly!" she said angrily. "I'm not with you for your trust fund, Edward. I'm with you because I love you!"_

" _I know, Bella. The good thing is this money will help us to no end, baby, between med school loans and then starting a family. I won't be making a lot in the beginning but I won't have you work either when you'll already have your hands full."_

" _We'll manage just fine without it!" she exclaimed._

I was sure that my mouth was hanging open at that point. How could she even think that? "Did you even just stop to think for a second that the only thing I wanted in my fucked up life was you? Charlie would have handled Carlisle and Gregory, you know he would."

"I couldn't hold you back. I had to protect you and leave you alone so you could live your dream," she whispered.

"You. Were. My. Dream!" I half yelled. "You were my fucking life! I barely breathe without you!" I started pacing. Fuck!

"Please keep you r voice down. We're in a hospital," she said evenly.

"That the last thing I care about," I said angrily.

"Just try or else I'll leave until you calm down."

I took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll try! Tell me the rest!"

"Gregory said I had my life ahead of me to live as I pleased, that I didn't need to worry about you because it was only a fling and nothing more. You would forget me in no time. I knew that wasn't going to happen. I was fairly sure that you would be out the door, on your way to my house, immediately trying to get me to change my mind.

"I went to my dad at the station. I told him everything apart from the threats concerning him; they would be long dead if I told him that. I knew I couldn't stay home so I started looking for flights to leave that very same day but there was nothing. It was as if everyone was trying to prevent me from leaving. Billy and Jacob were visiting Rachel in Hawaii back then so I couldn't stay at the reservation. The only choice I had was to go back home and hide 'til I could leave in two days. Every time I heard you scream my name, it brought me to my knees. Charlie kept me in his arms to stop me from going to tell you everything because earlier that day I made him promise not to let me," she cried. "I was barely eighteen, Edward.

"Renee wasn't happy at all that I decided all of a sudden to come live with her. Of course, I didn't tell her that it was only temporary. I was going to stay at the dorms the first couple of years and then find my own place. Two weeks after I arrived in Arizona, I started feeling sick. I had morning sickness and fainting episodes. Alice's house was near mine so she was visited often. One day she came and found me on the bathroom floor. She called an ambulance and two hours later I found out that I was pregnant. I swear I didn't know until then, I swear," she continued, looking at William.

"How is it even possible, Bella?" I asked irritated.

"Come on, Edward," she said, somewhat angrily. "After prom night, we were going at it like jackrabbits! You knew that I was never regular with my period. Jesus! Do you think I planned this?"

"I never said that!" I snapped. "I just asked how it was possible that you didn't know!"

"I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. On the one hand, I wanted to call you but on the other I knew I couldn't. After I was released, I went home. Renee was getting ready to go on a date. I asked to talk with her and told her about the baby. Edward, the things she told me," she said and sniffled. "She was so harsh with me. She kept pointing how I destroyed my life and what a little whore I was. I didn't see her again until the following afternoon. She came into the house and told me to get ready. She wanted to take me to an OB and check the baby. To say I was surprised is an understatement. I felt a small pinch of hope… that everything would be fine, until we got in the doctor's office," she said and paused for a while. She started crying really hard.

I grabbed a small bottle of water from the nightstand and opened it. "Here," I said. She lifted her head and looked at me with her red, puffy eyes. She looked so vulnerable and scared at the same time. Something in her eyes begged me to believe her.

"Thank you," she whispered and took a sip from the bottle. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's very hard for me to talk about. Especially that period of time," she sighed and I just nodded. "The doctor asked questions, took some blood samples and did an ultrasound. He told us that I was about to enter the second trimester of the pregnancy. Upon hearing that, Renee instructed him to go ahead with the procedure. Since I was unmarried and still a minor, a legal guardian needed to sign a consent form to have the a-ab…" she said without finishing the last word.

Abortion. That bitch wanted to have my kid killed! I growled at the thought. I turned my gaze on Will and my breath caught in my throat. He was a God-sent gift. How could she even think of having Bella go through something like that? I needed him before I even knew he was mine, let alone now.

"Bitch!" I hissed. "I swear to God if I ever see her, I'll put her through hell!"

"You won't have to," she whispered and I looked at her confused. "Even though I fought with her to stop the procedure, she managed to schedule it the following day. What she did was illegal. She wasn't my legal guardian, Charlie was. I called him and told him everything. He was shocked about the news, but not once did he ever speak harshly to me. He showed up early the following morning at Renee's house and all hell broke lose. I never saw Charlie in that state. He was yelling profanities at her, like what a useless mother she had been and how he regretted for even allowing me to go to her. He ordered me to go and pack up the few things I had with me and left the house.

"My sweet dad was so compassionate and understanding. He was adamant on me telling you about William, but I knew better. Had I told you, Carlisle and Gregory would have made their threats true. Charlie would have lost his job, probably his dignity as well. God knows what they would have manufactured to frame him. Alice was finishing her third year at that time and lived on her own. Her parents had moved back to Biloxi the year before. She lived in a small apartment near campus. Not having other options, I moved in with her."

"What about Renee?" I hissed.

"Renee made sure to show up at our apartment every day," she started. "She needed to prevent me from repeating her mistake. Charlie threatened her with a restraining order and after that she stopped. She was involved with a minor league baseball player at the time. She got caught up with drugs. Renee overdosed and died a month later, and she was all alone. I should have been sad-I'd lost my mother, after all-but I wasn't. All I could think of was our baby and how much I missed you," Bella continued. "Alice was great. She helped get a job at Joe's Diner and found me students to tutor while going to college. She used to work in a fabric store and had many clients with children. She would mention me and some of them would contact me."

We were interrupted when the door opened and Dr. Forester entered. She smiled at me and then looked at Bella. "Dr. Swan, I assume?" she asked and Bella nodded, as she got up from her chair. "I'm Dr. Forester. I was informed that you arrived and came here straight from surgery." They started talking but I heard nothing. My eyes were on William and I sighed right before the anger started boiling inside of me, burning my soul. Bella was blackmailed to leave me. The fucker who had the audacity to call himself my father did this to us, to William… to Bella. How could he? Why did he have to destroy me like this? I didn't want his fucking money.

_She's after your money, Edward. Bella wants to be a doctor, no? Well, imagine how the 'Cullen' legacy would be a great asset to her career…_

_We would never lie about something like that._

_Broken? Over that little whore? Please! He should be happy that he found out before it was too late._ _That bitch took money to leave him._

_Edward, you'll be thanking me one day. You'll see that she wasn't worth it and that your father was right all along. Love comes and goes son, especially at your age._

_Can't you see she's not worth the effort, you stupid boy?_

_She might love your wallet but not you, you fool. It will never be you!_

"Edward," I heard Bella say with concern but I was unable to speak. All I could think about were all the things Carlisle had told me the past thirteen years. All these accusations were a bunch of lies. Why did he hate her so much? I searched my mind for reasons but there weren't any. Bella helped me heal; she made me want and expect things from life.

"Edward, you're scaring me. Please…"

I could feel my insides burning, boiling with anger and hate. I wanted to kill him. I would kill him. He would fucking die in the worse way imaginable: slowly and painfully.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" I heard a woman hiss.

"Knock it off, Rose!" Emmett said angrily. I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Ed, come back."

I blinked several times and took a deep breath. My heart was hammering fast and hard in my chest as I tried to calm down. I snapped my head to look at Bella only to see her crying silently. Rose was standing next to her and Emmett was kneeling in front of me. He was worried and once again I was the cause of it.

Carlisle.

"Here, drink some water," Bella said, giving me her half-filled bottle. As our hands touched, I felt my fingers burn. I looked up at her and she gave me a half-hearted smile. She still felt it…

"Stay away from him!" Rose hissed again.

"Rose!" Emmett growled. "Stay out of this!"

Carlisle.

"Em," I said, trying to calm the rage in my voice. "Call Ma and tell her to come here as soon as possible and drag that motherfucker with her. Don't ask why. Just do it."

"Edward, I don't think-"

"Call Ma and tell her to come. If I do it, she'll know something is wrong. Call her, please."

"Edward, please don't. Carlisle will…"

"He'll what?" I growled. "Take the money! Newsflash, _Bells_ ," I said ironically. "I have no money to take!"

"W-what?" she stammered.

"I've been broke since September. I donated the money," I said and laughed bitterly. "There's _nothing_ left for him to take and he won't even dare touch Charlie!"

"What the hell is going on?" Emmett asked, irritated. "What does Charlie have to do with this?"

"The old fart threatened that he would take his money away, didn't he?" Rosalie asked Bella. Bella averted her eyes from her. "Piece of shit!" she hissed.

"Rose?" Emmett asked.

"He doesn't give up, does he? What the fuck is wrong with him? Not all people are gold diggers!" Rosalie continued and started pacing.

Fuck, he didn't!

"Did he…" I started.

"Yes, when I met him three years ago, here in Chicago. He said that if I didn't leave him alone, he would take everything from him and shut down my garage," Rose sneered.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Emmett asked angrily.

"Your fucking father," she said. "He offered to pay me off to leave you alone and when I said no, he threatened to take everything from you."

Carlisle must have had a death wish. Did he think that we'd never find out? Emmett took a step back and shook his head. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me!"

"Why the hell didn't you say anything?" he snapped.

"Because I took care of it!" she spat and smiled darkly. "Did you really believe that your father was hospitalized for a urine infection back then?"

"Huh?"

"It was more like from broken balls," Rose said. "I know what I wanted Emmett. Hell, I didn't even know you were _that_ rich before that day. And him accusing me of approaching you because of your money pissed me off. So I kicked him, and the asshole should be grateful that I did only that. Once he was admitted, I told him that I wouldn't mention anything to you if he didn't press charges for assault," she finished and the room was silent.

Emmett was standing in front of Rose with his fists clenched at his sides so hard that his knuckles were white. He looked at Bella silently asking if Carlisle did this and her nod confirmed it. He took his cell phone out of his pocket, grabbed Rosalie and left the room without a single word. If the fucker managed to survive me, Emmett would finish the job.

I sat still for a few seconds, thinking about something I unintentionally forgot: Esme. There was no way on earth she knew anything about these things. She would have never allowed it no matter what. I was sure of it. She never understood Charlie's behavior toward him. Now she would. Everyone would… and she'd be devastated.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

"Ma," I said and she giggled.

"What are you laughing at?" I snapped.

"So, you're the one he got the 'Ma' from," she sighed and kissed Will's hand. "Around the time you got shot, I grounded him for like three hours," she said and rolled her eyes. "Yes, that's the longest I could ground him. I allow him to skip school twice a year as long as he tells me. Two days after your surgery, he left for Tae Kwon Do practice but never showed up. Chen called me because Will never skipped a session and he was worried about him. When he got back, I was beyond pissed. I was worried about you; Charlie called me as well that day, begging me once again to tell you everything so I lashed out at Will, something I'd never done before. I demanded for him to tell me where he was and he lied, so I grounded him. About three hours later, he came to my room and said, 'Ma, I'm sorry but I can't tell you where I was. It wasn't something bad so I want you to trust me.' Ever since then, he's called me Ma - never mom, mother or mommy - when he wants something."

My smile didn't match hers. I felt cheated. No matter what had happened, I should have known. We would have dealt with Carlisle's shit no matter what. Instead, she chose to run away from me.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Everything's wrong," I started as evenly as possible, knowing it wouldn't last long. "You, running away from us, William being a secret, the way he approached me. The horrible things he's been through because of me, the things he witnessed because of me!" I half-yelled.

"Keep your voice down, please," she pleaded sternly.

"The fuck I will," I snarled. "Do you want to know what happened the day I was shot, Bella? I was patrolling a park and he was there. He saw me get shot!"

"What?" she gasped.

"You fucking heard me! He was the one who tried to help me that day. I was the reason you grounded him. He was with me at the hospital, bawling his eyes out because he was so scared for me. It's not only about what you did to me! What about him?"

"Are you implying that I didn't raise my son correctly? That I didn't care about him?" she asked angrily.

" _Our_ son, Bella, never forget that!"

"Answer me!" she demanded.

" _I'm_ the one who should be demanding answers here, sweetheart, and _not_ the way around!" I yelled.

"You know what? I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee until you calm down and are able to talk like a human being!" she snapped, got up and headed to the door.

Hell NO! I got up, marched to the door, grabbed her forearm and spun her around to face me. She was done leaving me! We were inches apart and I could feel her warm breath across my face. Looking into her eyes, I could see many emotions: fear, anger, desperation, surprise, surrender and something else that I didn't even want to consider. My hands were on fire as I touched her arms. My eyes fell upon her mouth: those lips of hers… the ones I longed to kiss, the ones I missed so much…

Oh fuck it! Not thinking twice, I crushed my lips to hers and I'd be damned if I didn't touch heaven for a second! A familiar yet long-missed sensation violated my body, urging me to do more: to take as much as I could for fear of having it ripped away from me once again. I tightened my grip on her arms and hers were at her sides, frozen. Her eyes went wide in surprise at my sudden move.

' _What the fuck are you doing?_ ' my subconscious screamed at me. ' _Get the hell away from her!_ '

I pushed back instantly, letting her go at the same time. Fuck! What had I done?

"Shit! I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry," I said, as I tugged on my hair and looked at my feet.

"I'm not," she whispered. My eyes snapped up to meet hers.

Did she mean it?

And if she did, was it of any importance?

Would it change things?

Probably not.

"I need a cigarette," I blurted and was out of the room before I finished the sentence.

I vaguely heard Charlie as I ran like a bat out of hell. I couldn't trust myself at the moment. What the fuck was I thinking? Why did I kiss her? Shit! All these feelings were swirling around inside of me. She used to be a part of me and somehow she still was whether I liked it or not.

I walked out of the hospital and the cool wind was somewhat comforting. I lit a cigarette and the smoke burned my lungs. That was when I realized I hadn't smoked for three days. I had so many things to work out. First of all: Carlisle. I was dreading the moment I'd see him. All these years, he insulted her. He tainted my memories and feelings of her in the most horrible way. He made me believe that I meant nothing to her- that I wasn't more than an investment. I was such a fool to believe him. I thought of him as my father, but a father would never do something like to his child, no matter how harsh he was.

Secondly: William. How could I be a father to him when I was so fucked up? How could I give him advice, when I couldn't fix my own shit? I wasn't a good person. I was full of bitterness and anger. He looked up to me so much that terrified me. Could I mend myself enough to be able to stand by him whenever he needed me? There was no doubt that I loved him, but was it enough? I would try for him. I hoped Garrett would be able help me get better.

Thirdly: Bella. There was a lot to consider but I couldn't do that until I listened to her. I would try harder to restrain myself. She would be a constant presence in my life from now on because of William and I needed to manage my anger better. Would she try to keep him away from me? I could barely stay away from him before I knew and now it was impossible.

_I'm not…_

Fuck! I wanted to kiss her again…

' _Don't even go that direction, asshole!_ ' the voice growled in my head.

Shit! Why the fuck did I do that?

' _Because somewhere in your fucked up brain you know you still feel something for her!_ '

I could lie to anyone else but I couldn't lie to myself. God knows how much I had missed her all these years, how much I wished I could go back in time and change everything.

I stubbed out my cigarette and headed inside again. Charlie was in the waiting area along with Emmett, Rose and Alice- probably telling them what happened. Emmett sensed my presence and he lifted his head to look at me. I smiled at him letting him know that I was okay even though we both knew that I wasn't. It would take a long time and many sessions to recover.

Entering the room, I found Bella sitting on Will's bed talking to him. "Wake up, honey. I miss your eyes so much," she said and sniffled. I cleared my throat, letting her know that I was back. She turned around and smiled at me, wiping away her tears.

"Susan came by again," she said. "The MRI was clean."

"Meaning?" I asked as I closed the door.

"The swelling is gone. They pulled him off the meds before I arrived so now all we have to do is wait until he wakes up on his own. He's going to be perfectly fine."

I exhaled loudly. This was good news.

"I want to finish the story, Edward," Bella said. "I want to tell you more about him."

I sat on my chair as she sat on hers. "Where was I?" she wondered and paused for a second. "It was really hard to work, go to school and try to stay calm at the same time. I was stressed out all the time, worried how I would be able to handle things, getting ready for the baby. I was missing you so _much_ ," she said with a broken voice. "Every night, I would go to bed, think of you and cry myself to sleep. I would wake up from nightmares, screaming your name," she sniffled. "Angel…"

" _A man?" she said cracking a smile. "You consider yourself a man? Please! You are no man!"_

 _She was pissing me off. "You weren't screaming that last night,_ hun _," I growled._

_She started laughing out loud. I was getting angrier by the second. Here I was telling her that it was a man job to look after his woman, emotionally and financially, and she was laughing. At. ME!_

" _Knock it off, Bella. It's not funny!"_

" _E-Edward…" she started but her laughter took over once more. I stood there, looking at her nonchalantly until she finished her little mockery. Once she was done, I would show her again and again who was_ the _man!_

" _You're no man," she repeated as her laughter started to wind down. "You're an angel… my angel…"_

"Don't call me that," I demanded, even though my heart clenched when she said it.

"Why?" she asked.

"The boy you used to call that doesn't exist anymore," I said.

She sighed and nodded, giving up. "Edward, when I left you I was a half person. My heart and soul were there with you- I never felt the need to make a new start. I never felt the need to go out and meet other people or even think about of having a relationship. Until our baby came, you were the Alpha and the Omega of my life. When he arrived, both of you owned me."

"There's nothing I can do about that. You made your choice even if it was forced. I can't go back to what we had. I won't… I've changed in ways you can't even imagine."

"I understand. I really do. I don't want you to think I'm trying to worm my way back into your heart. I'm just making myself clear that I never stopped-"

"Don't!"

She raised her hands, surrendering. "Okay. Do you want me to continue or do you need a small break?"

A fucking break?

I closed my eyes and managed a barely audible growl. "Thirteen years was a huge fucking break. Keep going."

She sighed. "During the pregnancy as I mentioned, I worked. Alice helped me as much as she could and Charlie always asked if I needed money or any kind of help. I knew that he was already paying off the loan he got from the bank for college so I never once took a penny from him. Knowing that the baby had a lot of needs, I took on extra hours at the diner and took on more students. It was okay at the beginning but as I got heavier, I had balance issues.

"When I entered the third trimester, it was impossible to continue at Joe's. He was a good guy so he offered to keep my post until I was fit to go back. The baby's room was complete and his necessities were purchased. The tutoring was going well so I was relieved from some concern, until I entered the thirty-second week. I had cravings. My favorite was peanut-butter pie and Joe made the best," she said and blushed lightly. "Alice was at school and she couldn't go. It was a nice warm day so I chose to go myself.

"As I went in the diner, I tripped, rolled down the few steps and fell on my back. Seconds later, I felt a searing pain in my back and my water broke. Joe called an ambulance instantly, and William was delivered ten hours later. I was so scared. He was so small and fragile," she continued and stared crying.

_I was in an incubator too…_

"His lungs weren't fully matured and he had to be in the incubator for at least two weeks and gain some weight. Charlie was by my side in a matter of hours and Alice almost failed her exams to tend my needs. I was on the verge of depression at the time. I blamed myself and my stupid cravings. He would have been safe had I waited for Alice instead of going," she sniffled. "Anyway, I stayed at the hospital for about a week and then I was released. I was allowed to visit him only two times a day. Some of the nurses felt sorry for me and allowed me to stay longer than I was supposed. He n-needed me," she hiccupped, "and I him. I needed to feel his tiny fingers in my hands and he needed to know that I was there."

I never hated Carlisle as much as I hated him right at that moment. They had been through so much and it was his doing. If he hadn't blackmailed her, I would have been there for them. I would have helped them both… I would have given my fucking existence for them. My eyes were burning, my throat was on fire and my head was about to explode. She was so close to losing him and I would have never had the chance to meet him. Not even hell would want that fucker after I was done with him.

"Bella?" I whispered. She raised her head and looked at me with puffy eyes. "Did you ever consider, after you had him, telling me everything?"

"Every single day," she answered instantly. "There wasn't a day that I didn't beg to wake up from this nightmare. I hungered for just a glimpse of you," she continued with a shaky voice. "The day he opened his eyes for the first time, I swore that my son would know every single thing about you. He knows everything from the books you used to read to the way you sprawled on your bed when you slept. I never read him bedtime stories because I talked to him about you. I used to tell him about all our funny moments.

"Edward, he knows you like I do. When I left, the few things I took with me were our pictures and the CD you wrote for me. The day he came home, I placed every one of them all over the apartment. I wanted him to grow up and know what you looked like- I wanted him to feel your presence even if it was only from pictures. This was the same reason I gave him your middle name as well..." She paused. "Do you want to know why he started martial arts?"

I knew that she wanted to say something different from what she asked but I gave her a break. "Yeah…"

"When he was five, he asked me for the thousandth time to tell him how we met. Even though I was dead on my feet with med school and tutoring, I never denied him. It was a way for me to keep you in my soul and never allow the image of you to fade. At the time, he had lost his upper front teeth. He had fallen and they broke, so the dentist took them out. When I told him the part where Tyler shoved you, he got pissed. Day by day, he understood behaviors and situations," she smiled. "He got up from the couch, clenched his tiny fists at his sides and said, 'Thtupid boy! Mommy when I am a big boy I want to be Bruth Lee! I will find that thtupid boy and thove him back!'. I increased the tutoring lessons, saved money and a month later, I enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do."

I chuckled as I tried to picture the scene. "There hasn't been a day where he tell me how much he loved you. You know, as the years passed, he's grown to be more like you," she smiled and kissed his knuckles.

"No, he's not. He's a very down-to-earth kid, kind, respectful… selfless, funny," I said, running my fingers through his dark hair. "He's not afraid of his own shadow. He's brave, supportive. He's nothing like me."

"You'll see in time," she said and smiled at me. I took a deep breath. She wouldn't keep him away from me. My heart started beating wildly in my chest.

"Thank you," I whispered.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "What for?"

"For not wanting to keep him away from me," I said truthfully.

She shook her head. "Edward, I wouldn't have it any other way. I wanted to tell you the day you came back from Forks but you wouldn't listen. It might have saved us from some of this pain. I'm tired of running away and hiding. I want my boy to be able to laugh and be carefree of all this shit. He's innocent; he deserves to have his dad by his side and not a surrogate father figure."

I stared into her eyes, trying to see if there was any reason to doubt her but I found none. She was being honest. As I held his hand in mine, I looked at his baby picture and smiled once again. He was perfect in every way.

"You love him," she whispered.

"Truly, I do," I said and sighed. "He was one of the reasons I decided to give myself another chance. When you left, I became the exact opposite of what I used to be. I've done things I'm not proud of and yet I continued to do them. I started drinking, smoking. I used women for my own pleasure and treated them like trash. I was broken, empty with no prospect of fulfillment ever again. I stopped believing. When I saw him for the first time, I sensed something- some sort of connection. He made me think about things I'd tried to forget. William was what I needed to realize that being angry and bitter all the time wasn't the solution," I finished.

"I'm sorry for what I've done. I need for you to believe me," she said sadly.

"I need time, Bells," I sighed.

"I'll wait my whole life if I have to."

We continued on as I asked some questions. She never stopped working. She had a huge loan to pay off and William's needs to consider. I found out that he was learning Italian and played saxophone. He even owned one. Bella and Alice got it for him for his ninth birthday. She was saving to get him a new one since the one he owned was so small. He loved music and he was a huge fan of classic rock and Michael Jackson. His favorite colors were black and tan.

We were so deep in our conversation that we didn't realize Charlie was standing at the door. He cleared his throat to get our attention. "I thought you might be hungry so I brought you a couple of sandwiches."

Bella smiled at him. "Thanks, Dad," she said and he kissed the top of her head.

"Are you okay, Edward?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I think I will be."

"You understand now why I couldn't say anything, right?"

I looked briefly at Bella and she was pleading me with her eyes. "Yeah, Chief. Thank you for what you did for Will."

"It was my job, son. Now it'll be yours," he said and looked at his watch. "Bells, I'm going home. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"I'm cool, Charlie. Go and rest," she said. With a nod, he bid us goodbye.

We ate in silence but my mind was churning. While I was thinking of more questions for Bella, I remembered that William had told me about how much his dad would have suffered if he knew about him. Had she told him why his father wasn't part of his life? I needed to know.

"Did you ever tell him why I wasn't around?" I asked her, without giving her time to think.

"Unfortunately I did," she sighed. "Last year, he got the flu. I was getting ready for work and Alice was making us breakfast. She insisted on tracking you down to let you know. William was growing and he needed you. One thing led to another and suddenly the whole extortion thing was brought to the surface again. What I didn't know was that William had woken up at some point and he was standing at the other side of the kitchen door, listening. I had never seen him so sad. I lost it there. I didn't know how to cover things up. I finally understood that I had no choice but to tell him the truth.

"I told him how rich you were and about the money you would get. How Carlisle tried convincing me to leave you. Edward, you have to understand that money doesn't flow in our house like it does in your family. Up until he was eight, Alice was making our clothes to save a few bucks. Sometimes I couldn't get him the things he wanted. William, knowing how much we struggled and still do, understands as much as he can."

I shook my head, trying to tame the anger that burned me.

"Edward?" Bella asked.

"For the past thirteen years, I managed to accept that you were gone even though I should have had a fucking say in your departure. There are no words to express the emptiness I felt and still do, but I can easily come to terms and understand that you did it for my own good as you said. The one thing, though, I can't overlook is that I had a son I knew nothing about. I don't care what the fuck happened between you and that fucker. I don't give a shit if you did it to protect me. I don't give a flying fuck if I stayed penniless. I wanted to be in my son's life! No matter how much you did for him, he needed me!

"My God Bella. I missed so many things, so many of his firsts. I don't know what he looked like when he opened his eyes for the first time, what was his first word…" She lowered her head, crying at the things I was saying to her. I didn't feel sorry for her; she needed to hear these things.

"Da," she whispered. "Da, was his first word," she repeated and a new wave of tears started blurring my vision.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I hissed. "It doesn't matter now. What matters is that I didn't see that, that I don't know the feeling of holding him in my fucking arms! _He_ never felt that! No matter what you believed was important back then, you didn't have enough reason or right to rob us of the opportunity to be in each others' lives!"

She was sobbing hard then. "I- I'm so sorry! S-so v-very s-sorry! P-please believe m-me!"

"Christ!" I said and started pacing again.

I stayed silent for a while. Every now and then I could hear her sniffling. It pissed me off that she was crying, but I refused to leave him alone. I had a right to be in here and no one would say otherwise. I walked toward the window and looked at the sky. It was twilight. Everything was so peaceful and yet my soul was fighting a thousand battles. What the fuck was I supposed to do? So many moments lost…

_Edward, when I left you I was a half person. My heart and soul were there with you_ _…_

I lowered my head and closed my eyes. So many memories flooded my mind. I was so happy with her. Why couldn't we just stay like that forever? Bound to each other until the end of time. Why did she give up on us? Why didn't she fight him?

I felt her hand wiping the tears that streamed from my eyes. I looked at her and once again I felt the debate in me: anger vs. calm, hate vs. love, misery vs. happiness.

"I know that I can't take back what I've done. I know how much pain I caused you and I will regret it for the rest of my life," her voice cracked. "I'm not asking you for more. I know that we will never be able to get back what we had. What I am asking of you now is to allow me to soothe your pain, the only way I know how," she finished and I stood frozen. Should I let her?

Without waiting for an answer, she wrapped her arms tightly around my waist, rested her head on my chest, breathing in my scent. My hands were numb at my sides and my heart was beating uncontrollably as I remember how she used to do that whenever I ran to her, seeking her comfort- how that small gesture erased every fucked up thing that tried to knock me down. My God, how I missed her…

I felt her form shaking. She clenched her hands even tighter around me as if her life depended on it. Suddenly, I realized that she was trying to take the pain away for both of us. Her struggled sobs turned into wails and I almost lost it. The pain she felt, the desperation, the regret- it was all there, front and center.

"F-f-forg-forgive m-me, p-please," she wailed. "I- I m-miss you."

' _Please God, help me. Give me a sign, I beg of you,_ ' I pleaded in my head.

Simply on instinct, I started raising my hands to embrace her as well. "I- I l-lov…"

She never got to finish. She went limp and I caught her before she fell down. I picked her up and sat on the small couch next to the window. The tip of her nose was red and her eyes were puffy from crying. I traced her cheek with my finger tips; they were so warm. Fuck my life: I still needed her like earth needed water.

"I've got you, my Bella," I whispered, knowing that she wouldn't hear me. That was the only time I could let my guard down.

****-Ж-** **

A couple of days went by and William had yet to wake up. Bella and I tried to be as normal as possible. We talked about Will most of the time. I learned so many things about him, I saw pictures of him. The last I remember of the previous evening was Bella telling me stories about Will's Tae Kwon Do tournaments, as she was cutting his finger nails.

I groaned as I woke up. I fell asleep on the chair and my back was killing me. I opened my eyes and saw Bella, sound asleep next to me. I raised my head and saw that my right hand was over her shoulders. My left hand held William's. I smiled briefly and I felt a small pat on my left hand. I froze and started breathing heavily.

Did that mean…?

I snapped my head up and met a pair of glistening green eyes looking back at me. I bit my lip hard, preventing myself from screaming at the top of my lungs. He was awake!

William took a shaky breath. "Now, you know…"


	14. Hells Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

It had been three days since William woke up. There were no words to express how content I felt after that. It was awkward at the beginning but thankfully that didn't last long. Will scared the shit out of me that very first day…

" _Now you know…"_

_I smiled and I started crying like a fucking baby in front of him. "Y-yes," I choked. "I know and I'm happier than ever," I finished and kissed his hand. "I was so scared, Will."_

_He wiped a tear from his cheek and smiled. "You'll be more scared if we don't wake up Ma. She'll chew us out," he said._

_I nudged Bella's shoulder and she let out a small snore. "Bells," I chuckled. "Wake up."_

" _Mmhmm," she moaned._

" _Bella, someone wants to see you," I smiled and winked at my son._

" _Fuuck! My neck is killing me," she complained._

" _Too bad I can't ground you for life," Will said. Bella shot up from the chair instantly._

" _Oh my God!" she screeched and launched herself at him, careful not to hurt him. "I died a thousand deaths," she cried and kissed him all over his face. William's eyes brimmed with tears but when his eyes met mine, he rolled them. I shook my head and chuckled._

" _How are you feeling?" Bella asked._

" _A have a small headache but it's okay," he said and yawned. "Sunny?" he asked._

" _Emmett has him. He thought it would be better if he took him until you're better. He has a back yard so…" I trailed off._

" _Thank you, Edward," he said and to be honest I found myself not liking the way he addressed me. I wasn't ready to hear the word 'Dad' from him yet but still..._

" _No worries. He's kind of using him anyway. He wants to get a dog too but Rose doesn't. He thinks that Sunny will soften Rose," I smiled. "Anyway, I'm gonna go…"_

" _No! Please don't leave," he urged._

" _I'm not leaving," I said. "Ever. I just wanted to go get your doctor."_

" _You stay here and I'll go," Bella offered and she left._

_William cleared his throat lightly and swallowed hard. He must have been thirsty. "Do you want some water?" I asked him._

" _Please," he said politely._

_I opened a small bottle and put in a straw. Emmett had brought them the previous evening thinking that we might need it soon. "Here," I said and brought it to his lips. "Take a couple of small sips only. We don't want you to puke." He nodded and drank._

_When he was done, I placed the bottle on his nightstand and sat back down in my chair. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I knew it made him somewhat uncomfortable but I couldn't stop. He was so beautiful and he was… a part of me- the good me._

" _I'm sorry," he whispered._

_I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"_

" _For lying."_

_I shook my head. "I don't want you to think like that. There's nothing to be sorry for. What happened with your mom was unfortunate. We both made mistakes," I said. "She, for not telling me everything that happened, and me because I let that bad person brainwash me. Mistakes are to be made and learned from. I promise to make everything right, Will. I just need time, okay?"_

" _Okay," he said and shivered slightly._

" _Are you cold?" I was immediately concerned. Was that normal?_

" _A bit," he nodded._

_I got up, went to the closet and took out a blanket. When I turned around, his eyes were closed again. At first I thought he was resting them, but when I called him I didn't get a response._

" _Will?"_

_Nothing._

" _Will?" I said a bit louder. Still nothing. Shit! No, no, no!_

_I threw the blanket on the couch, rushed to his side and pushed the nurses button repeatedly. "Will, please. Open your eyes kid. Don't do this to me again," I cried._

_The door opened and Bella entered, followed by Sarah and a nurse. "H- he was just t-talking and now…"_

_Bella came to my side and placed her hand on my back. "Edward, calm down. It's normal for him to fall asleep again. Patients that come out of a coma feel very sleepy at the beginning…"_

Today was the day that all hell would break loose. Today, Ma and that low life piece of motherfucking shit were arriving. I didn't want to leave the hospital, but I couldn't confront that son of a bitch here. I didn't know what my reaction would be once I saw him and surely I didn't want William to see me like that. Things were going to get ugly for sure.

Emmett was barely keeping his shit together. After Rosalie confessed, he was out of hand. I had never seen my brother so angry before, which was why I asked Charlie to be there. Emmett tried to enlist Marcus as well, but he had to deal with Victoria. She refused to talk to anyone apart from me; I was going to talk to her, but I wanted to take care of things with _him_ first. I felt so betrayed by her because I thought she'd been my colleague and friend. I took her under my wing and taught her our job's secrets and what did she do in return? She stabbed me in the back; now she could go and fuck herself for all I cared.

My brother took a leave of absence from work. Truth be told, he needed it. He spent many hours with us, even beyond visiting hours; the nurses didn't mind since he worked there. He was in love with William. They spent hours talking about movies and martial arts, not to mention Michael Jackson…

" _Which is your favorite band?" Emmett asked._

" _From which decade?" Will asked._

_Emmett turned to look at me. "Another music expert in the family?" he asked and I chuckled._

" _Um, seventies?" Em asked._

" _AC/DC," he said proudly._

" _Hardcore," Emmett smirked. "I like it. It's Edward's as well."_

" _I know," William said and smiled._

" _Hey Em, ask him his favorite singer," I said. He would shit in his pants._

_Emmett looked at Will and waited for his answer._

" _Michael Jackson_ _?" Will answered, but it sounded more like a question instead._

" _Hell yeah!" Em exclaimed and I started laughing. "I knew that kid had a bit of me in him!"_

_I shook my head_ _in amusement. "Emmett is a fan too. Obsessed is probably a better description. Show him," I said and Emmett got up. He took off his shirt and showed him his tattoo. It was a black silhouette of Michael Jackson standing on his toes._

" _That's awesome!" Will beamed._

" _Wait until you see my CD collection. Now,_ that's _awesome!"_

"What are you smiling about?" Bella asked as she entered the room holding two cups of coffee.

Over the past few days we decided that it would be in William's best interest if we acted normal. We didn't want to overwhelm him with fighting or stinky glares. I could be better than that. He deserved that. I took a glance at his sleeping form.

"Emmett. William has him wrapped around his finger," I whispered.

"Yesterday when you were out for dinner with Jasper, he brought him so many things: a brand new iPod full of AC/DC and Michael Jackson songs and DVDs of their live concerts. He is seriously spoiling him," Bella smiled.

I narrowed my eyes for a second. "Well, if William had his fam…"

"Good morning," William said, cutting me off before I finished.

"Morning, kid," I said and smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," he said. "Ma, could you give us a minute please?"

"Sure thing, baby," she said and looked at me before leaving. "I'll be waiting outside, okay?" He nodded and she left.

He stayed silent for a moment or two and looked at me. "Look, I know that even though you're trying to stay calm, you're still angry," he started. "I understand that it's a shock to you to know that I exist. You've been through a lot, but so did she and she's my mom. I love you both so much, but I support her. She wasn't responsible and you know that. So don't be angry at her for trying to do was she thought was best. I may be thirteen but I'm not a little boy anymore, and I understand things better than both of you think," he finished stubbornly.

I was sure my jaw was hanging on the floor. "Not to mention," he started again, a bit louder, "that if you want to be angry with my mom, then you have to be angry with me too. I lied to you too. We come as a package so if you're angry at her, then you're at me as well! She's not to blame here! If you want to blame someone, blame your stupid dad!"

The door opened and Bella stepped in, her face angry. "William Anthony Swan!"

"What?" he asked, never taking his eyes off mine.

"You apologize to your father this instant!" she said sharply.

"No!" he said angrily and looked at her. "I will do no such thing, Mom. He's wrong to be angry at you."

I couldn't utter a word from the shock. I opened and closed my mouth a few times but nothing came out. I looked at Bella and she was looking back at me apologetically. That boy had guts and he could stand up to everyone when he felt his mom was being offended. It was admirable and yet disturbing; he was supporting Bella, even though I thought his feelings should match my own at least a little.

"Bella," I said and looked at her, shaking my head to drop it.

"Don't shake your head, Edward! He was being disrespectful and I raised him better than that. Now, apologize or you can kiss your Playstation goodbye," she said with her hands on her waist.

"I don't want him to apologize for something that he's clearly not sorry for," I said calmly. "So let's just forget it happened, okay?" Bella opened her mouth to say something but I raised my hand and stopped her. "He's right, Bella," I said and turned to look at Will. "Gli spacco il culo a quel maledetto!" I said with a smile.

William's eyes widened. "Parli italiano?"

"Oh, no, you will not speak a language I don't understand," Bella said sternly.

I smirked at her and winked at William. "Certo che sì. Cerchiamo solo di non farla incazzare più di così, va bene?"

"Okay," he said and started laughing. "I'm sorry," William continued. "I didn't mean to talk to you like that. I get a bit angry when someone is talking bad about my family."

Remembering the first night I ever saw him, I nodded. "It's okay. I get it," I started and looked at Bella. She was smiling at us. God, she was so beautiful when she smiled. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

"Yes," Bella sighed and handed me a white envelope. It contained thirteen photographs of Will, one for every year of his life. I looked at them and I felt pride at the boy we had created. "Cute little thing, wasn't he?" Bella beamed.

"Oh jeez!" William said, blushing.

I chuckled and put them back in the envelope. "When are we leaving?" she asked.

"Jasper and Alice are gonna be here any minute now. When they come, we'll go." I got up from my chair and sat on the bed. "Will, your Mom and I won't be back until noon, probably. Do you want us to bring you anything?" Will opened and closed his mouth a couple of times and finally frowned. "What is it?"

"I, um…" he started and looked at me. "Do you… do you think that your Ma would want to come here?"

"That's what you want to know?" I asked and he nodded.

"Kiddo, I don't think that she'll even want to wait until noon to come and see you," I said and his eyes lit up.

"Awesome!" I ruffled his hair and got up.

Just at that moment, the door opened and Alice entered, followed by Jasper. We talked for several minutes and then I looked at my watch. The plane was to land in thirty minutes. We needed to hurry.

"Are you ready, Bella?"

She nodded, went to William and kissed him soundly on his cheek. "Gross, Mom!"

"Yeah, yeah!" she giggled and soon we were on our way to my house.

Surprisingly the drive was calm despite the shitstorm that was about to occur. I was scared, not because I would be seeing him again, but of the things I would do to him. That fucker was not leaving my house alive. He had done so many horrible things: he chased Bella away from me, he manipulated me, he tried to pay off Rose too, and last but not least he was abusing Esme. My God she was going to be devastated with the things she was about to hear. Her heart would break and there would be no way to mend it. No matter what the son of a bitch was, no matter how he treated her, Esme loved him. She was old school…

I sighed. The one thing I was sure of was that she wasn't returning to Forks. After this, if I said no, Ma wouldn't. She loved us too much to let something like this pass. She became an angry tigress when someone messed with us.

" _Edward, what happened?" she said concerned and hurried to me._

" _Nothing, Mom," I lied. "I just fell down the front steps at school."_

" _Front steps my ass!" Emmett hissed. "Newton pushed him and 'accidentally' bumped his nose with his foot."_

" _Shut up, Emmett!" I yelled._

_Ma stood still for a second and I swear her face was so red that I feared it would explode. With hasty steps, she went in the house, and grabbed her purse and car keys. She took my hand and soon we left the house._

" _Mom, I'm fine," I whispered. "It's just a scratch." She said nothing._

_Mom parked in front of Newton's store and got out, ordering me to do the same. As we entered the store, we were met by Mike's ashen face while his mom smiled at us._

" _Good afternoon, Mrs Cull…"_

" _You listen to me because I am_ not _going to say this twice. The next time your son touches_ my _boy, I'll make sure he gets far worse than what he did to Edward. He has no right to bully him or hit him. I have never once laid a hand on him and I won't tolerate if he touches him again!" Mom half-yelled, causing a couple of customers look our way. "Have you ever heard of the word 'discipline', Mrs. Newton?" she continued as Mike's mom looked at her with wide eyes. "Make sure_ you _learn the word first and then try to teach it to your son as well! If Edward ever comes home from school with so much as a shirt button missing and your son is responsible, I will go to the authorities. A few weeks in a juvenile reform school would do him good. Goodbye," she said, grabbed my hand and stormed out._

"Can I do anything to stop you from doing this?" Bella whispered.

I parked the monster and turned to look at her. "How can you even ask that? I lost myself because of him. I lost my life, my dreams, and my son because of him. I los…" I paused. "You left me because of him. That fucker needs to face the consequences of his actions, and trust me when I say that it won't be good. This ends tonight, Bella, whether you want it to or not," I said and got out of the car.

Charlie greeted us as we entered the house. "Do you want some coffee?" he asked. Bella and I nodded.

I took out my cigarettes, lit one and sat on the couch. Just as I was about to remove the glass that covered the table, Bella reached out and picked up the other side. "You haven't started physio yet and you're not supposed to lift heavy things."

"I lifted a library, Bella. A piece of glass won't hurt me," I grumbled and yet she helped.

We placed it on the side of the table and I took out William's pictures. I placed the pictures in a square starting from the youngest age and finishing with one that was taken on his most recent birthday, placed exactly in the middle of the table. We picked up the glass and re-adjusted it over the table. I stood still for a second, looked at the pictures and memorized every single one of them. He was so beautiful.

"Wait until you see his videos," Charlie said above me, startling me.

"I can't wait," I said and smiled lightly.

"Son, will you do something for me?" Charlie asked and I nodded.

"I want you to get up from this couch now and hand me your guns," he stated.

"I'm not going to kill him, Charlie. Beat him to pulp, probably, but I'm not going to shoot him."

"I believe you but I want your guns. Come on! Go fetch them."

As I walked into my bedroom, I knew that he was right. I couldn't predict how this day would go but I was fairly sure that it wouldn't end well. I opened a small hidden cupboard in my wardrobe and took out my Sig along with a small revolver, making sure both safeties were on. On my way out, I picked up the plaque William gave me for Christmas. I wanted it to adorn my living room.

"Here," I said, handing Charlie the weapons. He immediately put them away in his small suitcase.

I looked around and tried to find the perfect spot for the plaque. Right beside the window, there was a small shelf, where I had a picture of Rose, Emmett, Jasper and me. I took the picture off and placed the plaque there, after I cleaned it with my sleeve. Bella got up, joined me and sniffled.

"So it was for you," she whispered and I looked at her. "A few days before he left with Alice, he said that he wanted to get Charlie a 'Best Granddad' plaque. I took him to this small store a few blocks from our apartment. He was looking around and when he saw this, he picked it up and asked if he could get it for a friend of his."

We were interrupted when my cell phone rang. I opened it and saw that it was a text from Emmett saying that they were close.

"They'll be here any minute," I said and threw my phone on the couch.

Bella's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Please, please, Edward."

Charlie approached us and wrapped his arm around her. "It'll be okay, baby girl. Trust us."

Tears formed in her eyes. "He'll hurt you, please."

I knew that she was talking about Charlie and me, but Charlie thought it was only me. "Nothing is going to happen to Edward. I won't allow it."

"Daddy," she said and looked at the Chief desperately. "Please."

"You haven't told him yet, have you?" I asked her. The tremor was obvious in her face and her shaking form.

"Told me what?" Charlie asked. I sighed and tugged on my hair lightly. Bella looked at me with pleading eyes, begging me silently not to tell him.

"When those sons of bitches blackmailed her, it wasn't only about me," I started and Charlie stiffened instantly. "They told her that if she didn't leave me, they'd make sure both of us," I continued motioning between Charlie and me, "would suffer."

I had never seen Charlie's eyes so dark from anger. He tightened his hold on Bella's shoulder and clenched his fist at his side. He closed his eyes briefly and emitted a small growl. Charlie was really pissed off.

"Bells," he started. "Why didn't you tell me?" She started crying but said nothing. "Everything is gonna be fine. I promise you that, okay?" he asked and she hugged him, whispering how much she loved him.

The door bell rang and she jumped lightly and looked at me. Charlie kissed her temple and released her.

"Just a sec," I yelled. I looked into her eyes, and for a moment I lost myself in her gaze. I could see so many things. "You go and stay in my bedroom. I'll come and get you, okay?" She nodded, without looking away. She was so scared. My mind was screaming to touch her and wipe away her tears but I didn't. All I could do was give her a slight smile as a reassurance. "Go," I said. "First door to the right." As I heard the soft click of the bedroom door, I took a deep breath and headed to the front door. Charlie leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. With one last nod, I opened the door.

Ma squealed and threw herself at me. "My baby," she said and inhaled deeply as her held me in a bone-crushing hug. "I've missed you." I held her tightly in my arms.

"Missed you too, Ma," I said.

I turned my head to glare at Carlisle but he was frozen, pale like a motherfucking ghost, looking straight at Charlie. I released Ma and she went to Charlie to greet him. The fucker was still as a stature. I couldn't wait for him to get inside.

"Get the fuck in!" Emmett hissed.

As if he read my mind, he shoved Carlisle forward, making him stumble and fall on the couch. Ma didn't move from her place. She just watched.

"Rat," Rose muttered as she passed by him.

I sat on the love seat and Ma moved to sit next to me. "So, tell me how you've been."

"Surprisingly good, Ma," I smiled at her. "Once I settle a few disturbing matters, we'll all be able to move on." Ma furrowed her eyebrows but said nothing.

"Are you visiting Edward, Charlie? I hope he's a great host," she said as she clasped my hands in hers.

He narrowed his eyes at Carlisle and then smiled at Esme. "Yeah, you could say that." I smirked as I realized that he was even more pale.

"We're having twins," Rose chirped suddenly. Ma let out a small scream and dashed to Rose and Emmett.

"That's wonderful! Do you know the sex?" she asked happily.

"The doctor isn't sure but he thinks they're boys. We'll know for sure in a couple of weeks."

"Oh, I can't to have for those precious hearts! My first grandbabies!"

Emmett muttered, "You think," next to me. She sat back down next to me and patted my leg.

"How's the station, Charlie?" Ma asked.

'Right now? Busy. We're working on uncovering an extortion case. A rich, low life blackmailed a young lady with the life of her father and boyfriend," he growled. I swear that the fucker stopped breathing for a second.

"Oh my! I can't believe there are such people in this world. Is he from Forks?"

"Mmhmm," he muttered.

"Poor little thing. At least she asked for help," she sighed.

"She didn't," I started. "She left but circumstances brought her face to face with the man she left behind and everything resurfaced," I hissed in his direction. "Funny thing how they met… You see, the woman is a doctor. The man had to go to the hospital and she was the one that helped him," I continued. The room was so silent you could have heard a pin drop.

"Good God. The shock for both of them," Esme said astonished.

"The shock indeed," I repeated. "Wanna hear another shocking thing about the story?" I growled.

I was losing it and fast.

"What?" she asked as Carlisle got up from the couch and walked toward the window.

The fucker didn't even have the guts to look at me. He knew we had him as soon as he entered the house. "That young man has a brother. His _father_ also blackmailed the other son's woman," I said and got up as well. "The other woman didn't give in. You see, she wasn't a teenager and naïve. She knew what she wanted and didn't care about his threats. She's an adult and at the mere age of twenty-five at the time, she wouldn't take his shit. She was brave," I said and walked slowly to stand behind Carlisle. "Don't you agree, _Dad_?"

He turned to glare at me but didn't say a word. With just one look I could see the repulsive hate he held for me. And why? Because I fell in love with a girl who didn't care about my money… only me.

"For years, that fucker brainwashed his son about her. That she was a gold digger, a wannabe, a slut, a little whore. The boy's greatest mistake was to believe him, to lose faith. The boy believed him because his _father_ would never lie about something like that. The boy had to wait thirteen fucking years to realize that his father only cared about his money and reputation."

I needed something to drink. Coffee wasn't enough. I went to the small bar cart and poured some whiskey in a glass. I drank it at once and lit a cigarette. The asshole hated it when I smoked.

"For years, the boy led a very unethical life. He drank, fought, and jumped every woman that was available to him. He swore that he would never love anyone else. Why love someone when it hurt so deeply? He disavowed himself of the joys of life because his father thought that he was doing his son a favor. He didn't want his son to make the mistake he did: marry a woman that he was only _smitten_ with," I continued and took a drag from my cigarette. Carlisle was looking at me; if looks could kill, I would have been dead already.

"One night while the young man was working, he saw a little boy fighting some bullies. Little did he know that the boy was about to turn his life upside down," I smiled. "He became friends with the boy. The kid made him laugh and sometimes cry, especially when the child talked how much his mom suffered away from the man she loved. How it was for the _best_ not to have his dad around and how much he would _suffer_ had he known about his son. Within a few months, the man came to love this boy with every fiber of his being. A few days ago, both the boy and the man were held hostage by a ruthless criminal, a mobster. When that sick fuck attacked the man, the boy tried to save his friend and got hurt really badly. The man killed his attacker and rushed to aid the kid. Imagine his shock when he realized that the kid, who was bleeding, was his very own son. The child had a birthmark that matched his."

At that moment, Ma gasped loudly and fell to her knees. Emmett went to her and when he leaned down, he saw that she was looking at the pictures. She looked at me and then back at the pictures, holding her hand over her mouth. I was so caught up recounting the story that I didn't see that Bella was standing behind Charlie.

"E-Edward?" Ma cried. "W-wh… who i-is he?" she asked as he ran her fingers over the glass.

As I opened my mouth to answer, the cocksucking twat opened his. "Does he even know if the brat is his?"

That was when all hell broke loose. "You motherfucker!" I roared and pounced on him, slamming him against the wall.

"Edward, don't!" Bella sputtered and ran to me.

"I'm going to fucking kill you! How dare you do this to me? How dare steal my fucking life away from me?" I yelled and punched him across his face. I raised my hand again to hit him again but Bella stepped between us.

"Please, Edward, think about William, please," she cried and the asshole started laughing.

Everything happened fast. Charlie pushed Bella toward me, causing us to stumble, and then grabbed Carlisle. "The reason I didn't skin you alive all those years was ago was because I didn't know one key thing. You threatened _my_ daughter with the idea of making me suffer. Do you have any idea what you did? You opened Pandora's fucking box, Mr. Almighty. The only reason I'm not letting him kill you is because you're not fucking worth it. It would be too fucking easy! I want you to suffer. I want you to know what it feels like to be abandoned and rejected! I want you to crawl in your own misery!" he hissed and stepped away from him as if the prick was infected.

Carlisle licked his busted lip and looked at Bella. "You stupid bitch! If you hadn't spread your fuckin…"

He didn't finish. "Don't you dare talk about my daughter this way ever again!" Charlie hollered and kneed him in his stomach. The air left his lungs and he fell to the floor clenching his sides to take a breath. As Charlie was about to start kicking him, Emmett pulled him back.

"A maggot has more pride than him," he said disgustedly. He crouched to Carlisle's level. "You pollute this world just by breathing," he said and spat on him.

"You ungrateful low lives!" the fucker yelled. "I gave you everyth…"

"Enough!" Esme screeched, making us all freeze. The fucker got up and wiped his hand on his pants. Ma went and stood in front of him. "For years, I've tolerated you talking down to me. Years and years of you telling me how ungrateful I was. I endured physical abuse because I wasn't alone. I had my babies to take care of when all you did was ignore them! You took happiness away from my son for what?" she screamed.

"I didn't want him to make the mistake I did! I didn't want him to feel misery every single second for the rest of his life. I didn't want to have another penniless leech in my family, sucking me dry because she wanted to help the deprived ones. I didn't want him to hate himself for marrying a woman who had nothing to offer back!" he spat.

Suddenly she raised her hand and slapped him so hard it caused his head to turn to the side. "I hope one day God forgives you because I won't," she snarled. "I have nothing more to say to you. You'll hear from my lawyer and let me make something clear. I will take everything you gained for the past thirty years. The rest you can shove up your ass! Now get out of my sight!" she hissed. With strength I didn't know she had, Ma grabbed him by his collar and threw him out of the house.

She slammed the door and right before collapsed, heaving, Emmett and I rushed to her. We sank to the floor and she started crying, clinging to us as if her life depended on it. I could feel her pain, her despair. I knew what it felt to lose someone you loved. I sat her on my lap and hugged her tightly, wishing I could take her pain away. Tears started falling down my face.

I cried for my mother…

"I know the pain you feel," I whispered in her ear. "I will never be able to make it go away completely because it will always be a part of you. What you need to know is this: We love you and there's nothing that will change that. Got it?"

She looked at me with red eyes and smiled. "Yes."

She turned her gaze to Emmett and opened her arms to him. Em, buried himself in her embrace and I placed my arm over his shoulder. "I love you, Mama," he sighed.

I looked up and saw the rest of our party staring at us. Rose was a blowing her nose and cursing her hormones for making her such a girl and Bella was engulfed in Charlie's arms, her eyes never leaving mine. 'I love you' she mouthed at me, and the pain of her words ripped me in two. I longed so much to reach for her and chain her to my side but I couldn't. I closed my eyes to prevent my tears from falling down.

Ma got up and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry for witnessing that," she whispered and ran her hands over her hair, smoothing the little strands that fell over her face. She approached Bella and kneeled in front of her. "I will never be able to express the sorrow I feel for what you've been through. I will totally understand if you want nothing to do with me but I need you to know this: had I known back then what he did, I would have stopped him. I'm sorry I didn't have faith in you."

"Oh Esme," Bella cried and hugged her.

"Shh," Ma crooned over her ear. "Everything's going to be okay now. I promise," she said and kissed her forehead. "Now," she continued. "Allow me to go and freshen up and then I want you to take me to that gorgeous grandbaby of mine."

When Ma was in the bathroom, Bella got up and went to my bedroom. Seconds later, she came out and headed to the kitchen. She approached me upon her return.

"Here," she said and handed me a painkiller along with a glass of water. "Take it because your shoulder will kill you later."

"Thank you…"

****-Ж-** **

One hour later, we arrived at the hospital. Ma wasn't happy about visiting her grandson without getting him anything. After many debates, she gave in but not before promising us that she would make amends for the thirteen years she missed in spoiling her grandson.

As we reached his door, we heard William laughing. I smiled.

"Is that him?" Ma asked.

"Yes," Bella said. "Come on. He wants to meet you," she beamed as she reached for the handle.

"Wait," Ma yelped. "What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm respons-"

"Ma," I smiled as I ran my knuckles across her cheek. "There is no way. William knows everything. He's very mature and understands a lot of things. He loves you already, okay?"

She nodded and I opened the door, peeked inside. When William saw me, his whole face lit up, brightening the whole god-damned room even more. He had just finished his lunch and was eating his pudding. Realization hit him instantly; he knew that I had Ma with me.

"Auntie Allie, quick. Take this!" he whispered quickly and handed her his tray. She giggled and put it on a small side table. He wiped his mouth quickly with a paper towel and smoothed his messy hair as Alice straightened his blanket.

'Okay?' I mouthed at him and he nodded.

I opened the door and allowed the ladies to enter first. Ma stood next to me as Bella went to our son to kiss him. I took Ma's hand in mine and kissed it, letting her know that everything would be fine. I approached the bed and kissed William's head.

"How are you, kiddo?"

"Perfetto!" he beamed. I chuckled and looked at Bella.

"I know what that means," she scolded playfully and everyone started laughing.

"Will, I want you meet someone," I said and looked at my mother. She had tears in her eyes, threatening to spill any second. I kissed her forehead and turned to him. "This gorgeous lady over here is-"

"My Nana," he said, cutting me off. Ma let out a small sob and in the blink of an eye she had him in her arms.

I stepped back to marvel at the view and Bella stood next to me. I sighed and looked down to meet her eyes. They were shinning with happiness and love.

Was there anything left undamaged that would allow us to start all over again?

Would I ever be able to put all this shit behind me?

I sighed, smiled lazily at her and took her hand in mine…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATIONS:
> 
> Gli spacco il culo a quel maledetto!: I'll kick his sorry ass!
> 
> Parli italiano?: You speak Italian?
> 
> Certo che sì. Cerchiamo solo di non farla incazzare più di così, va bene? : Yes I do. Now let's don't piss her off more, okay?
> 
> A huge Thank you to LaMomo for the translation.


	15. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

"Morning, Sarge," I said as I entered Marcus's office.

"Well, I'll be damned. Look who finally decided to show up," he said as he got up and approached me to give me a one-armed hug. "How are you?"

"I'm good. William is going home today," I smiled.

After ten days, William was finally being released. He was ecstatic. He missed his bed, his books, his sax, Sunny. He wasn't ready to go back to school yet, which was a disappointment to him, but he coped. Ma was over the moon with him. Everyday she would cook for him, read to him, and tell him stories about Emmett and me. Will just sat there engrossed in her tales, absorbing everything she told him. Nevertheless, no matter how much she tried, I could see the pain behind her eyes; I could hear her crying herself to sleep every night.

"What happened at the hearing yesterday?" I asked.

"The judge set bail at fifty grand. Her family couldn't afford it so she was transported to Thomson's facilities until her trial," he sighed. "She was really sad."

"Well I don't give a fuck," I said unemotionally. "Had she not tipped Adriani off that day, my boy wouldn't have been hurt. She betrayed us, Marcus, and that's unforgivable."

"Your boy?" he smirked and I cracked a smile.

"Yeah. My boy," I sighed wistfully.

"Vic wants to talk to you, you know," he said as he sat in his chair.

"After Bella and I get William settled in, I'll go see her. What time do the visitations end?" I asked.

"Just call me before you go and I'll take care of it. I know the Warden so it won't be an issue. Have you started physio?"

I nodded. "Two days ago. Justin said that I might need more time to heal because of the pressure I put on my shoulder after the surgery."

"You need to be more careful now, Edward," he said somewhat firmly. "You're not alone anymore."

"I know," I said. "Anyway, I have to go. I'll give you a call before I head over to see her, okay?" He nodded, we said our goodbyes and I left his office.

After talking with a few colleagues, I drove to the hospital. For the first time in a very long time, I felt lighter and happier, and it was all because of William. We'd spent a lot of time together, with Ma as well. We talked about many things: our likes and dislikes, football, music, books. Bella was right after all. We were alike in many ways…

Surprisingly, Carlisle never bothered us again. I was perfectly sure that the fucker _would_ do something but not yet; it was too soon. I would never be able to understand what happened to that monster. I vaguely remember how tender he was to us the first couple of years after they adopted us. He was playful and caring. He showed us every day that he loved us and Ma. There wasn't a day back then that he wouldn't bring her flowers and shit like that. He would spoil us every waking chance he had, but everything fell apart when his mother died and Gregory moved to Seattle.

I parked across the lot, then practically ran the whole way to get to them. While I was gone, Bella arranged the release papers. On my way to William's room, Sarah told me that we could leave whenever we wanted. I nodded and headed toward his room. As I passed the waiting area on Will's floor, I saw a little girl around his age sitting alone. She had light brown hair, brown eyes and could easily be considered a stout kid. I had seen her here a couple times before and I was sure I had seen her before that. She looked at her watch, frowned, wiped her cheeks and when she got up to leave, the girl saw me and her eyes widened. I approached her slowly so I wouldn't intimidate her, and crouched to her level.

"Good morning," I smiled.

She blushed and groaned. "Good morning, Officer." She knew me.

"Are you here alone?" I asked her and she nodded. "Are you visiting someone?" I asked and she nodded again. "Are you here to see William?" I asked and chuckled when the reply was visible on her cheeks.

"I'm trying," she whispered but it sounded more of a question. "We haven't spoken at school much. We only have a class together so…" she mumbled, "I just wanted to wish him a full recovery before he left today. Can you please give him these and tell him it's from Julie Brown?" she finished as she handed me a little box- which smelled divine by the way.

"Sorry, I can't because you'll have to do it yourself," I said. "Come on, let's go. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you," I said as I stood up.

Her eyes widened slightly and she shook her head. "N-no sir, I-I thi-"

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it more if _you_ gave it to him," I cut her off.

"Ok-okay," she stammered and got up.

We were walking side by side but when we reached his room, she stopped a little and hid behind me. I couldn't help but smile. Children were so innocent sometimes. I knocked on the door and Bella opened it, smiling as out eyes met.

"Good morning," she breathed.

"Edward!" William beamed.

"Hello guys," I smiled as I entered the room, with Julie still hiding behind me. "You have a visitor, Will," I said. He looked briefly at the door but when he saw no one coming in, he frowned. Then I took a step to the side and revealed her. When William saw her, he widened his eyes in surprise and blushed furiously.

Jack-pot!

"J-Julie…"

When she heard her name, she snapped her head up and looked at him with surprise. "Y-you know my name?" she asked and started walking to his bed.

"I do," he said, nodding at the same time.

Bella touched my hand, making me look at her. "Let's go outside for a minute," she smiled. We walked a bit further, stopped and observed the kids for a couple of minutes.

Bella sniffled next to me as she watched the kids talking. "What?" I asked her.

"He's growing up so fast," she complained.

I chuckled. "Bella, it's just a girl paying him a visit." She huffed and put her hands in her jeans pockets.

"She is cute," she mumbled.

"She is big-boned and…"

She gasped loudly and looked at me. "Since when do you care about someone's appearance let alone a child's?" she asked offended.

"She is big-boned," I repeated as if I didn't hear her question. "And I like it. Besides that little extra tummy of hers, is her height," I smirked at her as I remembered Esme words when I used to tease Emmett about his own 'luggage'. Bella cracked a smile. "Listen, I…" I started. "I need to go and see Victoria today. When you're ready, I will drive you to your place but I won't be able to stay."

Bella frowned slightly but she knew that it was something I had to do. We had discussed this many times as we watched William sleep at night. I just prayed to any Holy left that I wouldn't snap when I was at the facility and end her right then and there.

"Will you come by for dinner? We… I mean William would love it," she said looking at her shoes. Shit! It suddenly felt like I was sixteen again with all this awkwardness.

"Um, sure. Do you want me to bring anything?"

"No need," she said and looked at me. "When you're done, come by the house."

The girl got up from the bed and I could tell she was about to leave. Bella and I walked into the room and waited.

"Come by the house whenever you want," William told her.

"Um," she said and blushed. My God, she was so cute it made me chuckle. "I will bring you your homework," she said but it sounded more like a question. "I've already gathered half of it. Will get the rest and bring it Friday, okay?" William nodded, and with a brief goodbye she left.

When the door closed, Will exhaled loudly and fell back on his bed. "Oh my God!" he whispered.

"So, Julie, huh?" I said in a teasing tone and he went scarlet red.

"Am I missing something?" Bella asked.

"When I didn't know who he was, William used several names like Jackson for his last name or Julie for yours," I smiled. "Now I understand how he came up with the Julie name. You see he used names that meant something to him and app-"

"Cupcake anyone?" he asked suddenly and opened the box in order to change the subject. "Julie made them." Bella grabbed one and as I was about to reach for my own, he looked at me.

"Traitor!" he accused in a low voice.

"Sucker!" I teased.

We ate in a comfortable silence until Bella cleared her throat lightly. She reached for her bag and took out a small wrapped box, giving it to Will.

"We got you something," Will said and handed it to me. "It's not something important. Mom and I just thought that you should have it."

I looked over at Bella but she wasn't looking at me. Instead she was looking at the small box as she bit her lower lip. What wouldn't I give…

"Aren't you gonna open it?" he asked.

"Sure but you didn't have to get me anything," I said. I ripped off the wrapping and opened the box. Inside there was a key chain that had the word 'Home' scribbled in cursive lettering and two keys attached to it. I opened and closed my mouth several times not knowing what to say- not knowing what it meant.

"It's a key to our apartment. Now you can come in whenever you want without having to knock on the door," he beamed. Bella's face was flushed and just for a brief second our eyes met. She smiled and got up from the bed.

"Shall we?" she asked. "Rosalie can barely keep Sunny at bay." I got up, took William's things in my hands and we left.

**-Ж-**

On Marcus's advice, I attached my badge to my belt and entered the facility. True to his word, I had no issues in entering the place. A guard let me know that the inmates were having lunch so I asked her to wait until they were done. I didn't want to be there but it was something I had to do. I requested a private area since it was supposed to be an interrogation and they granted my wish without any hesitation. A guard would be outside the door in case I needed any assistance.

As I sat there, I couldn't help but think my newly-acquired family. The word surprise didn't even begin to cover the emotions I felt when I entered the apartment. Everything there screamed home, from the small TV set in the tiny living room up to the last nail on the wall. Pictures were scattered all over the place: William's, Bella's, Charlie's, Alice's and mostly mine. There were pictures I never knew were taken: in our meadow, on Charlie's boat, at school.

I felt my chest tighten as I realized once again that we lost so many years for what? Both Rose and Emmett told me the other day that I had to contact Garrett because that would be the beginning of my new life. Ever since I found out that I was father- as scary as it sounds- I knew I needed to change… for him, for all of us.

My phone ringing took me out of my thoughts. I checked the ID and saw that it was Bella. I took a deep breath and picked it up. "Hi."

" _Hi,_ " she rushed. " _Edward I need your help._ _Walter called and said that there was an explosion in a building near the hospital and I need to leave immediately. We're short staffed so I really need to go._ "

I sighed as I realized that I wouldn't be seeing them today. "It's okay, Bells. We can have dinner some other time."

" _No, it's not that. Alice called earlier and said that they were staying in Biloxi another week, so I was kind of hoping you could stay with William. It's his first day back home and I don't want him to be on his own._ "

I closed my eyes and smiled. "Okay. I'll be there in a couple of hours. It won't take long for me to be done here. What time do you think you'll be back?"

" _I don't know. Things are pretty bad so I have no clue._ "

"Okay, Bells," I said as the door opened and a guard brought Victoria in. "Talk to you later, okay?"

" _Thank you, and Edward?_ " she said in a low voice.

"Yes?"

" _Be careful…_ "

"You too," I said and ended the call.

Knowing the reason I was here, I switched to cop mode and looked at Victoria briefly. She hadn't been in here for a day and her face was a little bruised already and she had a lip split. She gave me a small smile and sat down. Her hands were cuffed and her knuckles were bruised as well. Now, I knew I shouldn't care what had happened to her but she used to be my friend once…

' _Who fucked up with you and your son, asshole. Don't give a shit about her. She brought this on herself!_ ' my mind screamed.

"Can you uncuff her please?" I politely asked the guard.

"S-sure," she stuttered and proceeded. Victoria snickered and I glared at her causing her to stop immediately. "Will that be all, sir?"

"Yes," I said and the guard left.

I took out my cigarettes and tossed them in her direction, looking impassively at her. She mumbled a "thank you" and lit a cigarette. We sat in silence for a few moments as I was trying to find a way to start a conversation that I knew it would piss me off big time.

"This is awkward," she said and looked at me. "A month ago we were joking and now…"

"This is _not_ something I care about, Victoria. You made your choices without thinking about the impact it would have on the rest of us," I said sternly. She nodded but said nothing. "This is how we're gonna do this. You've asked for me. So here I am. Tell me why you did it and tomorrow you'll give a full statement to the guys."

"I need to apologize in advance because had I known that he wanted to hurt you, I would have never helped him. He told me that he only wanted to talk to you and nothing more. He was occupied with his daughter back then and nothing else mattered to him." She paused. "I met James about six months after I graduated. My father had issues with some fuckers who wanted to be paid in order to 'protect' his business. One night I was visiting dad and I found him in an alley being beaten by two guys. I went into action and soon a man appeared out of nowhere and helped me. It was Adriani.

"He soon became a customer at dad's restaurant and in no time he was treated like family. Dad had a mortgage to pay and shit like that but had no money to do so after a point. The restaurant wasn't going well. James paid for it without Dad knowing. Imagine my surprise when I went to the bank a couple of weeks later to pay and told me that all the loans and mortgages were paid off. They informed me that James paid for everything. I didn't like it. I may have been naïve back then but even I could understand that gestures like these weren't done out of the kindness of one's heart. I called him and asked to meet with him. The conversation took no more than I minute or two. I asked him and he said that because one day he will need my help as well."

"Let me get this straight," I asked and folded my hands on my chest. "He paid your fathers' debts and the thing he asked was..?" I trailed off.

She sighed. "Was to report to him the times you asked for deets about him. And after, I told him you started patrolling, your shifts, or when you got back from your sick leave. That's all. James wanted to know only about you, never about the investigations. He was obsessed with you. And after Celia died he just…" she paused, "gave up. After she died, he took a trip to Italy. He didn't contact me unless he wanted to know about you. The last time I saw him was a day before the school incident. He handed me the deeds to the restaurant he was keeping and the receipts from the bank. He swore that he only wanted to talk to you. I didn't know he wanted to hurt you. I thought he was telling me that to scare me off and not that he would actually do it," she finished and started crying.

"Do you know that you'll be judged as an accomplice? That you've put many lives at risk because you gave him information?" I asked. She sniffled and nodded. She didn't understand. I opened my wallet and took out a picture of Will while he was in the hospital. "Do you know this boy?" I asked.

She looked at the picture and shook her head. "No."

"This boy was severely injured. Adriani nearly killed him," I said, raising my voice. I got up and walked to stand behind her. "This boy tried to save _my_ life because you were irresponsible and sent that murderer to a school full of kids. This boy is my _son,_ " I hissed in her ear, "and right now the only thing keeping you breathing is that he's safe and sound at home, waiting for me," I finished and placed the picture back in my wallet.

She looked at me with wide eyes and her face was white as a ghost. "I-I d-didn't…" she started.

"I don't care," I said and got ready to leave. "I trusted you Vic. You were my friend and you stabbed me in the back. You could have asked for help but you chose not to. Even if I wanted or could do something about it now, I wouldn't. Goodbye," I said and left the room.

****-Ж-****

On my way back to the city, I switched on my phone and saw that I had two voice mails. One was from Bella.

" _Edward, I know that you're super busy right now but I forgot to mention two things. One: Will has to take his antibiotics and pain killers around six. He doesn't like medicine so he'll use his Bambi-eyes trick to butter you up. Do_ not _give in. Two: when he wants to go to bed, take him to my room. He tends to fight while he sleeps. I don't want him to fall off the bed. Thank you again and I owe you! Bye,_ " she finished quickly. I chuckled and continued to the next one.

" _Hello Mr. Cullen. This is Dr. Cummings, Emmett's friend. I'm sorry I missed your call but I got back in town yesterday. I have an opening the day after tomorrow around noon in case you're interested in following through with therapy. Give me a call and let me know._ "

This was something I needed to do and there was no doubt about it. I had shit to fix and a family to take care of. I had Ma, a son, my brother… Bella. It didn't matter that we weren't together. She would be a permanent figure in my life because of Will and I needed to make peace with whatever happened. I quickly called back and made arrangements with Garrett's secretary.

I decided to stop at the station since I knew that Marcus was still there. Our conversation was brief. He was surprised by the things I told him. He probably would have stayed longer to hear more than I did.

"How did she look?" he asked.

"Honestly?" I asked and he nodded. "Like shit. She was bruised. She got into a fight. They must have found out she was a cop or maybe she ran into a few that she busted."

"So stupid," he said angrily. It had cost him- cost all of us that knew her.

"Anyway, I have to go because Bella had to go back to the hospital and the kid is alone," I said and got up.

"Okay.".

Since I'd be spending the night with Will, I decided to head home to pick up a couple of things and have a quick shower. My stomach growled when I entered my apartment; it smelled heavenly in there. I found Ma in the kitchen banging pots around, sniffling. Not wanting to scare the shit out of her, I went back to the living room.

"Ma, I'm home," I yelled as I loudly set my keys on the coffee table.

"In the kitchen," she responded.

Giving her a few minutes to collect herself, I walked in there. She used to cry when she thought that no one was around. She was suffering and even though I knew, I couldn't do anything about it. Her eyes were a red and instantly I knew that something had happened.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered as I hugged her. She shook her head and started crying. I held her for a few moments and then stepped back and took her face in my hands, wiping her tears. "What happened?"

"Carlisle came by," she said.

"What?" I growled.

"Nothing happened. He just wanted to talk and see how things were." She sat down on a chair and ran her hands through her hair. "To see if I… I mean _we_ needed anything," she finished.

I looked at her with narrowed eyes. "What aren't you telling me?"

The oven timer went off and she got up to take the cake out. Once she placed it on the counter, she turned to look at me. "He um… Carlisle wanted to meet W…"

"Over my fucking dead body!" I yelled. "He is _not_ going anywhere near my son! Son of a bitch!" I got up and started pacing around.

"That's what I told him but in a less crude way," she sighed. "He won't do anything, Edward. He may be a lot of things but he would never try to harm William or any other child."

"Man, I swear if he goes anywhere near him or Bella, he is as good as dead," I snapped.

"Calm down, sweetheart," she said and approached me. "He won't and if he does then we'll figure it out. Don't say things like that. That sweet boy and you have been apart for so many years, and by killing Carlisle you won't succeed in anything but being separated again."

"I know that, Ma," I said exasperatedly. "I just want him – _them_ safe."

"And they are," she smiled. "Now you go and have a shower. I packed a night bag for you and I need to finish the cake. I promised William his favorite."

Fifteen minutes later, I kissed her and reminded about her going to Verizon to charge Will's cell with credits. I got into the car and started driving. I tried to call Bella to let her know I was heading to the apartment, but her phone was off so I left her a voice mail. My mind was reeling at the fact that Carlisle wanted to be near my son. I couldn't- no wouldn't let that happen. He had no right to ask such a thing and I couldn't understand how he got the nerve to ask. People like him never regret their decisions, never ask for forgiveness. Decency wasn't part of his vocabulary. He was devoid of any human emotion; that man simply had no heart.

My phone started ringing and stopped me from thinking about that sick fuck. Will's number appeared and the last tinge of anger evaporated when I heard his voice.

" _Hey Edward!_ " he said happily.

"Hi Will. Is everything okay?" I smiled.

" _Yeah. Actually I wanted to ask what movies you liked? I was about to go to Blockbuster and get a couple of movies,_ " he said cheerfully.

"You're not leaving the house. When I get there, we'll go together or you tell me what you want to see and I'll bring them with me. I'm about ten minutes away," I said and he groaned.

" _Please?_ " he begged.

Ah shit! Is that what was gonna happen whenever I said no to him? 'Do not give in' my mind screamed. "Nope," I said. "I'll be th…" I began when the door bell rang.

" _Edward, give me a second. Someone's at the door,_ " he said as he hurried to answer it.

"You don't have to run," I chastised him. I swear I could hear his eyes rolling on the other end of the phone. Well excuse me for being protective!

" _Hello,_ " I heard a familiar voice say and I swear my heart stopped. " _You must be William._ "

"William," I roared into the mouthpiece of the phone. "Close the fucking door now!" I didn't get a chance to say anything else because the line went dead.

I floored it and took off like a rocket. Fuck! This wasn't happening! Didn't this man have any kind of self-preservation? What the fuck was he thinking going to the apartment? I started pressing the horn as much as possible to go faster. He was fucking dead. When Bella got back from the hospital, I would go and bury him alive. Messing with me was one thing but messing with my son was the nail in the coffin.

I tried to switch on my cell again but the fucking thing wouldn't start up. I hit my fist on the steering wheel and started tugging on my hair. My heart was hammering in my chest and thousands of thoughts assaulted my brain. Would I find him hurt? Would he have the nerve to wait for me? Would he take him? Would he threaten him? Would he try to tell him shitty things about Bella? About me? Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!

The tires of the monster screeched as I stopped in front of Bella's building. I rushed outside and ran into the apartment complex, opening the door with one of the keys Bella gave me. Taking the stairs two at a time, I climbed to the fourth floor and with shaky hands I opened the door of the apartment.

"Will! Will!" I yelled and I heard a door open. He came out of his room, startled. With three long strides, I reached out to him and took his face in my hands. "Are you okay?" I asked.

He furrowed his eyebrows, looking perplexed. "Um, yeah?"

"I want you to listen to me really carefully," I said and ran my hand through his hair. "If you ever, and I mean _ever,_ see that man again-"

"I promised to beat the shit out of him," he said and smiled but when he saw that it didn't match mine, he frowned. "I'm fine. He didn't stay more than a minute. I told him that you were on your way here and never to come back," he finished looking at the floor. I sighed and kissed the top of his head.

Spending time with Will was the most relaxing thing ever. One of his friends came by earlier that afternoon to see Will and offered to take Sunny for a walk since he was there. My son was a kid that had only a handful of friends and they were just like him: easy going, respectful and funny. Bella, true to her words, was right about Will not liking meds. I was so close to giving in- so very close.

"Okay, I get it about the horse-sized pills but _why_ to do I have to take the pain killers if I don't feel any pain?" he whined.

"Because they help you _not_ to feel pain," I said.

"Pleaseeee?"

"Not working on me, kiddo," I lied.

"I'll let you have the rest of Nana's cake." I shook my head. "They make me sleepy and I don't want to fall asleep. It's the first time you get to stay with me and I want to enjoy every single minute," he whispered.

Ah fuck me! What was I supposed to say to that? I exhaled loudly and turned to look at him. "Will, this won't be the last time you know. I don't want you to end up in pain or lie to me about it. Don't even for a minute think that I don't see how your face twists every time you try to get up," I said and, when he didn't reply, I continued. "This is how we're gonna do it: You won't take it now but a couple of hours before bed you will swallow it down without a word of protest, okay?" I asked.

He nodded and hugged my middle. "Thank you."

Not two hours had passed and he asked for it himself. After taking the pill, we went into Bella's bedroom and I helped him lie down. I cleaned up a little bit of the mess we had made and soon I followed him. His eyes started getting droopy so I did my best to keep him up as much as possible in order for the painkiller to start to kick into his system. When he finally fell asleep, all I did was look at him. Just like I used to do with her…

That simple and yet so familiar move stirred many emotions and memories I used to keep hidden deep in my heart. Every single day I spent with them was becoming more difficult for me- especially now that William was out of the hospital. Since he was went in, I never left unless it was for dinner, to get coffee or when Ma dragged me out of the room to go home and have a shower. How was I supposed to go back to my condo and spend my nights alone, without them?

" _Once you take out the stick out of your ass, you'll have what you want,_ " a small voice said in my head.

William turned on his side and curled up next to me. I sighed happily and locked him in my arms. I was turning into such a pussy and frankly I enjoyed every fucking second. I felt content in ways I couldn't explain and it was so weird. Before him, I never wished for a family or shit like that. I was blinded with anger and I couldn't see things straight. Now the only thing I could think was what it could have been had I had them all along. I had a talk the with Ma a few days before, and she asked whether my change toward Bella was because of the fact that we had William or because of her. Without thinking, I answered immediately: it was for both. I loved them both and Mom knew that. No matter how bitter and angry I was when she left me, I always loved her. I would never stop… William was a very pleasant and heart-capturing surprise. That child became the center of my life within a few months and there was no chance in hell it would ever change that. William was a part of me and her.

"I love you, Will," I whispered and let myself drift off to sleep.

****-Ж** **

I woke up when something slammed in my face with force. Emmett would die in the most horrible way. I was ready to start yelling at him when I opened my eyes and noticed that I wasn't at my apartment. I chuckled lightly when I realized that William slapped my face in his sleep. Bella told me that he fought while he slept. I understood the meaning of it now. He was sprawled on the bed, diagonally, with the duvet tangled between his legs. Without making sudden moves, I straightened the cover and tucked him in.

Entering the living room to grab my cigarettes from my jacket, I heard the door unlocking. I looked at my watch and realized that it was past four in the morning. Bella tip-toed inside and closed the door behind her. I cleared my throat lightly not wanting to startle her and when she turned around, the face I saw was not the one I was used to. When our eyes met, her body started shaking and she slid down the door crying. Out of instinct, I walked to her and kneeled in front of her.

"Bells?" I whispered. She hugged her knees, rested her forehead on the top of them and said nothing. Things at the hospital must have been bad. I sat next to her and waited until she calmed down. Her cries calmed down after a while and with a deep breath she lifted her head and wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry for the show," she said in a hoarse voice.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"There was a leak of gas in one of the apartments in the building," she started. "There were many injured people, around sixty five. Many died on their way to the hospital. I lost five people today: two women, a baby, a man and a boy," she continued and started crying again, "around Will's age." And with that I got why she was like this. "I d-did ev-everything possible I could do to s-save him. At one point I thought I did b-but then he started bleeding and we didn't have time. I opened him but it was pointless. He was bleeding from his liver and his lung. I managed to stop the bleeding at the lung but his liver was shattered. All I could think of during that whole time was our son," she hiccuped.

I touched her shoulders and tried to calm her down. "It's okay, Bella."

"No it's not," she said angrily. "I should have figured out he was bleeding. I should have tried more but I was so tired and emotional and I just couldn't. I had to tell his mother that I couldn't save her boy. She was a single parent and had only him in the world. What would I've done if William had died, Edward? How could I live in a world were I would have to wake up every single day knowing that I would never hear his laugh again or watch him as he slept? We were so close to losing him, so damn c-close…"

I straightened my legs and with one swift move, I sat her on my lap, hugging her tightly. I understood her feelings: the fear and the agony of losing a part of you. For her though it was much worse. She bore him, felt his moves and kicks when she carried him, she gave birth to him, fed him from her body.

"Shh," I said and rocked us slowly.

The walls I had built all these years around me already started having small cracks. I could feel them breaking ever so little, day by day. I wanted a life with them. I loved my son but I loved her too. She had been the only one for me since the day she threatened Mike. Bella leaned her head on my chest and looked at me. Her eyes were begging me for things I knew I could give her right that moment but I wouldn't. Not yet. Not until my soul was cleared. Not until I was good enough to support them in every way imaginable.

She sighed and I smiled at her. "Soon…"


	16. Getting Better All the Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

"So, Edward," Garrett started. "It's been a week since our last session and I was wondering about something concerning Bella."

Shit! Whenever he started his sentences with a 'so', it wasn't good: two months, twice a week were enough to know that by now. At first the sessions were twice a week because apparently I had _a lot_ of issues. So here we were, after his suggestion, due to my 'exceptional progress', with once-a-week sessions.

"What about Bella?" I asked.

"How would you feel if she started dating again?"

I nearly choked on my own saliva. He smirked briefly and waited patiently for my answer. "Why the hell would she do that?" I snapped.

"Why wouldn't she?" he contradicted. "She is a thirty-one-year old woman, successful in her career, and very beautiful from what I've seen from the picture you showed me."

Now he pissed me off. "You're forgetting the fact that she's also the mother of _my_ son," I growled.

"Many single parents date Edward," he said calmly.

"She. Wouldn't!" I stated firmly. Right?

"For arguments sake, let's say she wanted to. How would you feel?"

The death glare I sent him was enough of an answer. She wouldn't date anyone, not if I had anything to do with it. Not to mention Will. He would be on my side instantly. Bella would wait for me- she _promised_ she would wait…

_I'_ _ll wait my whole life if I have to..._

She loves me…

"You're taking for granted the love she feels for you," Garrett said. Only then did I realize I had voiced my thoughts.

"I am not," I fired back.

"Yes you are. We should never take anything for granted. People's emotions change whether we like it or not. Patience is a sneaky little thing and evaporates without realizing it. She has needs and I'm not talking the physical ones," he paused. "Have you ever considered things from her perspective?"

I sighed. "She told me," I mumbled, unable to say more.

"Not how she coped with her life and your son. Has she ever told you about her life _without_ you? Not just snippets or a few words here and there." I shook my head. "Food for thought then. As a matter of fact," he continued sceptically, "I want you to ask her and then write down your thoughts in your notebook."

As he started reading my 'diary', I pondered about the things he said. Bella told me that she had missed me but now I could see that it wasn't enough. I knew how I'd felt but what about her? How did she manage? Did she feel as desperate without me as I did without her? Did she ever feel like she couldn't breathe, couldn't live? Had she ever felt the need to run to the most secluded area and scream her lungs out? Had she ever felt… dead inside?

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked Garrett.

"Of course," he smiled as he put down my notebook.

"Had you been in my shoes…" I started but he cut me off.

"We're different individuals, Edward. Every person has his or her own perspective on life. I think I know what _I_ would have done but that doesn't mean that you should follow my example. The outcome may be the same but how would that help you make your own decision without being affected?"

"I know all this shit, Garrett, but I really need an opinion. Emmett says I should stop being a pussy and make up my mind."

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I don't understand."

"What do you _want_?" he asked again.

"Them… her," I answered instantly.

"What's keeping you then?"

"Nothing," I said, looking outside the window.

"You're lying," he stated firmly. "What's holding you back?"

I smiled sadly. "I've been a cop for ten fucking years and whenever I found myself engaged in a fucked up situation, not once did I feel scared. When it comes to Bella, I'm petrified that I'll wake up one day and she'll be gone again."

Now it was his turn to smile. "You know," he started. "Fear is a very distressing emotion but so very powerful as well. It's a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. Some psychologists have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic or innate emotions, such as joy, sadness, and anger," he paused and scratched his bearded chin before smirking. "Are in interested in my opinion?"

He must have noticed my stance and since I didn't want to be rude to the person who was trying to help me, I nodded even if I thought that the things he was saying were inane.

"I think it's a load of crap," he chuckled. I was perfectly sure that my eyebrows touched my hairline. "Mel Brooks once said that everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love. This is someone I agree with. Edward, you can't allow your fear to hold you back. Live everyday as if it's your last. Take risks, and not only in your job."

I stared at him. "I won't be able to handle it if she leaves me again," I said lowering my head.

"Yes, I get it, but do you think that this small fear should prevent you from living happily with your son and Bella?" he asked. I didn't answer. "Don't let this fear rule your life, Edward. Fight it."

I buried my face in my hands and sighed heavily. He was right and I hated it when he was because that meant only one thing: I had to do it.

"You're going back to work tomorrow. Are you excited?" Garrett asked.

"Hell yeah," I said. "I missed working. Marcus said that until my shoulder is fully recovered, I'll have a desk job."

"Good. I can see that you enjoy what you're doing." I nodded. "Have you considered what I asked about your father?"

My whole body stiffened. I would do whatever it took to fix myself for my family, but there was no way in hell I would ever approach that motherfucker.

"Yes and I won't. I can barely stand it when I hear his name," I said. "What he did to me, to all of us was fucked up. He brought this upon himself and I will never forgive him. My brother and my Ma can do whatever they want. If they want – which I know for a fact they don't- to include that asshole in their lives, they can do it. He is good as dead to me."

"Okay," Garrett said nodding. "We'll discuss this another time and before you start protesting, it _is_ one of the issues you need to face. It's part of the process of healing and you won't have closure unless you allow yourself to deal with it."

I sighed frustrated. I knew he was right but I didn't think I'd ever be able to just sit and talk with _him_ without wanting to beat the shit out of him. For fuck's sake, I couldn't even call him by his name; how was I supposed to sit and talk with him? Truthfully, the day after he went to see William, I went by the hotel he usually stayed in when they used to visit, but the receptionist informed me that he had checked out earlier that day. That meant only one thing: he left had left Chicago. I wasn't stupid enough to call Charlie and let him know or even tell Bells- she would have a heart attack.

"How are you doing with the anger management?" Garrett asked.

"Good," I said without looking at him.

"Are you willing to attend a group session concerning your anger?"

"No, the exercises you give me are enough. And they're working."

"Perfect," he smiled and looked at his watch. "Our time is up but before you go, have you asked Bella if she's opposed to bringing William the next time you come? I really want to talk to him." I smiled as I remembered the specific conversation. I was so close….

" _Bells," I started. "_ _We need to talk."_

_Her face paled a bit and she smiled awkwardly. Sometimes I wished I could read her mind. "Um, sure. Let me get Sunny and we could go to the park."_

_We said nothing on our way to the park. I could see her stealing glances in my direction from the corner of her eye but she never said a word. I offered to grab two coffees from the deli while she tended the dog. The truth was that I was stalling. I wanted to find the right words to ask her without suggesting that our son might have psychological problems._

_When I reached the park, she was sitting on a bench under a tree. She was chewing on her lip furiously, her leg bouncing. What was running through her head, causing her to be so nervous? Maybe she wanted to say something to me that I wasn't gonna like. Shit._

" _Here," I said, giving her the coffee. I sat down and took out my cigarettes._

" _Are you mad at me?" she blurted._

_Her question surprised me. "Wh-" I didn't have a chance to finish my question._

" _When you came back from therapy yesterday, something was off with you. I could see that you were furious with me," she said without looking at me._

_I sighed. Garrett had pushed my limits once again last night. We talked only about Carlisle and let's just say that he should be thanking me for leaving before the session finished. Two hours later I called him, apologizing for leaving the way I did. I knew he was trying to help me and I was thankful for that._

" _I wasn't angry with you. We were talking about Carlisle and Garrett said some things that pissed me off. I'm sorry if I made you think you were the source of my anger," I said and lit a cigarette._

" _Oh," she breathed and took a sip of her coffee._

" _So, I need to ask you something. Uh, Garrett wants to see William," I paused giving her a chance to say something. "I've been talking about him a lot and the reason Garrett wants to meet William is because he's a bit concerned. The past several months Will had been through a lot: meeting me, watching me get shot and then being severely hurt. Even though I explained that his behavior hasn't changed since the day I met William, Garrett wants to make sure that the kid isn't suppressing any emotions that might cause him issues in the future."_

_Bella didn't speak for a while and I knew she was thinking about the things I said. "Okay," she said after a while. "I want you to promise me that you'll be in the same room, though. I don't doubt him as a scientist; I just I don't trust him alone with Will."_

" _Fair enough," I smiled. "I would've done the same whether you said so or not."_

_We stayed at the park for another hour or so, discussing various topics including William's present for his latest achievements in school. Being a straight-A student was easy for him. After talking with Ma and making the suggestion to Bella, we decided that the three of us would get him a new saxophone. Bella also let me know that she added me to Will's contact list at his school in case something happened and they couldn't reach her or Alice._

" _He's gonna be over the moon," she smiled as we walked back home._

" _You know, I was thinking that maybe if we could get some time off, during the summer we cou…"_

_Everything happened so fast that I wasn't able to finish. The one moment we were walking, and the next Bella was dragging me down with her as she tripped on Sunny's leash and fell. She landed first with me following right on top of her._

" _Are you okay?" I asked concerned. Her form started shaking and the most beautiful sound came out her mouth. My God, her laugh was like a song from an angel's choir. I cracked a smile as I looked her serene face, then closed my eyes briefly and rested my forehead on hers. I had missed her so fucking much. I had missed her touch, her eyes… her mouth._

_I opened my eyes and saw that she was looking at me, the way she always did. Her lips were lightly parted and I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I slowly lowered my head and brushed my nose over her cheekbone. Our lips were a mere inch apart. All I had to do was brush mine against hers. Bella ran her fingers though my hair and rested them at the nape of my head, fisting my hair. That simple move made me shiver, igniting the fire of wanting her like never before._

" _Bella…" I whispered and right before our lips touched, the sloppiest tongue on earth made contact with our almost-joined lips._

" _Ew, Sunny!" Bella screeched._

_And just like that the magic was gone._ _Fucking dog!_

"She's okay but only if I'm present," I said.

"Good. See you next week."

****-Ж-** **

It felt so good to be back at work. Under other circumstances, I would have been pissed for the desk assignment but not this time. Something inside of me constantly reminded me that I needed to stay safe for my family, that I had no reason to seek danger anymore. The guys welcomed me back with a small gathering and some of them couldn't believe the things that transpired over the past couple of months. Victoria was charged and convicted as an accomplice and was sentenced to seven years with no chance of early parole.

Vicky's replacement was Bryan, a pretty decent guy: thirty-eight years old, a family man, with a very unique sense of humor and devoted to his job. On my third day back, he approached me and asked if I would consider having him as my partner when I was fit to go on the road again. Most of the guys were already partnered and to be honest, I knew I needed someone to watch my back now that I had Will and Bella in my life. Marcus was shocked, to say the least, when I told him that I wanted Bryan, but he never asked why. He just knew…

The ringing of the phone brought me out of my thoughts. I took a deep breath and picked it up. "4th Chicago PD. How can I help you?"

" _Good morning. May I speak to Officer Cullen please? I'm calling on behalf of Timothy Brown, Principal of Healy's Elementary school,_ " a female said.

I shot up from my seat. That was William's school. "This is he. Is my son okay?" I asked somewhat frantic.

" _Sir, there was a small misunderstanding between Mr. Swan and another student and you're requested to come as soon as possible to see the Principal._ "

"Um, yeah," I said and grabbed my phone and keys to a cruiser. "I'll be there shortly," I said and hung up.

I let Marcus know what happened and left the station immediately. I called Bella but her phone was switched off. I knew that Alice was working on a big case so I didn't even bother to call her. I would let them know what happened once I found out myself. How bad could things be, right? They were just kids. I arrived fifteen minutes later, parked the car and rushed inside. As I was asking a student to tell me the way, I heard Will's friend, Jason, calling my name.

"Edward," he said.

"Jason, where's Will? What happened?"

"Come with me," he said and I followed him. "Will, Julie, Dana and I were having lunch outside. Jack and David started laughing at Julie when some sauce landed on her shirt," he continued breathless. "Will asked them politely to shut up and then things got a bit ugly," he paused and stopped in front of a door. "That's the Principal's office. It wasn't his fault. He was provoked."

"Okay, thanks J," I said and patted his back. "I'll see you later," I said and knocked on the door.

"Come in," a man said and I opened the door.

I looked around and I took a deep breath once my eyes found Will's. His lip was busted and a nasty bruise was starting to form on his left cheek. William's eyes were blazing with fury. I had never seen my son so angry… so out of control. Julie was at his side crying, as she tried to calm him down. When I turned to the other side, I saw a kid with a busted nose and his eye was already shut. I went to William and forced him to look at me.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. He averted his eyes and nodded before turning his gaze outside the window. "What happened?" I asked, turning my attention to the Principal.

"There was a small misunderstanding and…"

"He called my mother a whore…" William said loudly.

"Mr. Swan!" the Principal said sternly.

"…and my father an asshole for believing I'm his when, according to Jack, I'm not! Where's the misunderstanding in that!" Will continued as if he hadn't heard the Principal. "Not to mention that he slapped Julie when she tried to separate us. Everyone saw it!"

"He what?" the Principal asked and shot up from his chair.

As I was about to speak, the door opened and a frantic woman came inside and ran to the little shit. She eyed him and then turned to look at us. "You!" she yelled pointing at Will. "I told you never to touch him again!"

"Hey!" I protested. "Don't talk to my son like that. If someone should be blamed, it's your son! He was the one who called my kid's mother names!"

She gasped loudly. "My Jackie would never do that. Your son is the trouble maker!"

"Well your _Jackie_ along with his friends had been caught several times trying to bully William. Your Jackie was the reason my son came home with busted lips and bruises!" I snapped. "Your son has no right to call him a bastard! Just because I don't live with William or the fact that he doesn't share my name, don't even think for a second that he is alone or unloved! Did he think that William wouldn't defend his mother or me? Your Jackie should know that he gets what he gives, and the next time he even thinks of looking at my kid, I'm going to press charges!" I finished and turned my attention toward the Principal. "Will that be all? I'd like to take him home."

"Mr. Cullen, the thing is that no matter who started the fight, your son was implicated as well. They need to be punished, and that will be a lesson not only for both of them but for the rest of the students as well. They will be suspended for a week and when they return, they will spend time in detention for an hour after school," he said.

"But…" the little fucker started protesting.

"No buts, Mr. Wilson, or you'll have two weeks of detention," the Principal said. "That will be all," he said and started straightening the papers in front of him. Everyone started walking toward the door when the Principal spoke again. "Mr. Swan, a word please?"

I stayed behind and so did Will while Julie hadn't moved at all. I was ready to pounce on him if he blamed my kid some more. Once the door closed, Julie ran to the man and hugged him.

"Daddy," she whispered and sniffled.

Holy shit! I turned to look at my son, gaping and he just shrugged. Of all the girls in the school, he had to pick the Principal's daughter. Well fuck! ' _Nice impression, kid,_ ' I snorted in my head.

"The Principal's daughter?" I whispered at him.

"The Chief of Police's daughter?" he whispered back smugly. I smiled at him.

Touché!

"Are you okay, princess?" Mr. Brown asked Julie, as he ran his thumbs over her cheeks.

"I'm okay. Will took most of the blow though," she said and blushed when she looked at Will. "Thank you," she smiled shyly.

"William," Julie's father started, "as the Principal of this school, I don't agree or tolerate violence, but as a father, I wanted to thank you."

"It's okay sir," William said looking at the floor. "I told her to stay out of it anyway but she wouldn't listen."

"Willie!" she pouted. ' _Willie? Did she just call my son Willie?_ ' To prevent myself from laughing out loud with this little 'endearment', I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that I felt blood. "He was mean and wanted to hurt you."

"Well he didn't," he told her. "And next time, when I tell you to stay away, you stay away."

"Kids," The Principal said, "what's done is done. You stay out of trouble," he said pointing to Will, "and you, young lady, will listen to him if something like this happens ever again."

"Okay," she mumbled but the side look she gave Will said otherwise. That made me smile. In some ways, Julie and Bella were alike: both selfless and never afraid to 'attack' when needed. "Daddy, can I go home too? I'm not feeling well," Julie asked.

"Okay," her father said. "I'll call your mother to come and pick you up."

"I can take her," I volunteered and smiled at her when her face lit up. "Unless you don't want a ride in the cruiser."

"No, it's okay sir," she said and grabbed William's hand. "Let's go and get our stuff." Then they rushed out of the office."

****-Ж-** **

After we dropped Julie at her house, I drove back to the station trying to think of a way to ask William about Garrett. I knew that he wouldn't say no to me since he had been very supportive from day one but still. Asking a kid to visit a shrink wasn't easy. What if he got pissed? What if he didn't want to come? I wouldn't force him into doing something that he didn't want to.

"You can just spit it out you know," Will said taking me out of my thoughts.

I sighed. "Spit out what?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking," he said, looking at his lap. "Probably about me attacking Jack."

I parked the car in the parking lot, shutting off the engine. Then I ran my hands through my hair and turned to look at him. "It's not about that."

"It concerns me though, right?"

"Both of us," I said truthfully, smiling lightly. "Come on, let's go in and then we'll go and have lunch with your Mom at the hospital." He nodded and got out of the car.

As we started walking toward the entrance, he stopped and looked at me, chewing his lip skeptically. "What?" I asked.

"Is it about the thing you asked Ma? About taking me to your doctor?" I froze momentarily. "I overheard a phone call she had with Grandpa the other day. She mentioned it to him," he blushed. "I wasn't eavesdropping intentionally."

I laughed. Here I was, busting my head for the past couple of days, trying to find a way to tell him about Garrett and he already knew. "Yeah. Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders and pouted slightly. "I was waiting for you to say something. Don't you always tell me that I should come to you whenever I need help with something?" I nodded. "Well, the same goes for you. You don't have to find the right to way to tell me something just because you're afraid of how I'll react. Just ask me. If it's something that I have to do to help you, I'll do it no matter what," he finished in a whisper.

And this, ladies and gents, was my son. The kid owned every living fucking cell of mine. How was I supposed to answer to _that_? I grabbed him and squeezed him hard to my chest.

"Can't. Breathe," he gasped and I chuckled.

I held him in my arms and rested my cheek on the top of his head. "What did I ever do to deserve a kid like you?" I asked. He lifted his head and looked at me. "I love you so much, William. So very much."

He smiled at me and took a deep calm breath. "I love you too… Dad."

And just like that, I started crying like a fucking baby.

****-Ж-** **

"William Anthony Swan, I'm taking you for an x-ray!" Bella snapped. "End of discussion!" She quickly scribbled the referral and took him there herself. All I did was follow silently behind them.

We sat in a small waiting area and waited for his name to be called. After a few minutes, a nurse called for him and he followed her silently, sulking. Bella's leg was bouncing up and down, her chest heaving.

"Will you please calm down?" I asked quietly.

"No, I can't," Bella hissed. "Why doesn't he tell me what the hell happened to him? He got suspended from school for God's sake. Did he think that I wouldn't find out even if you hid it from me?"

I placed my hand on her knee to stop it from bouncing. "Bells, the reason he won't tell you is because the things that little shit said are not to be repeated again. They were that insulting."

"Tell me what he said. I can't protect him or comfort him if I don't know," Bella said angrily.

I sighed heavily. "You won't let it go, will you?" The glare I got was enough. "Okay," I said and raised my hands. I related the whole scene and Bella gasped when I repeated the words Will said. "The bottom line," I continued, "is that Will did what every child would have done, Bells. How many times did you have to stand up for me? How many times did you nearly rip out Lauren's hair for calling me a retard?"

She hunched her shoulders and hid her face in her hands. "Shit!"

"Hey," I said and tucked her to my side. "You know that kids are cruel sometimes. They say shit because some of them don't have brains. Don't be upset," I pleaded in a whisper.

She turned and looked at me with tearful eyes. "Edward, God only knows what else they've said to him. They've probably taunted him for so long and I had no idea about it. What kind of a mother am I?"

"Do you want to know why you never knew anything? Because he was able to manage on his own. He's a strong kid, thanks to you, and," I continued and grasped her head in my hands, "if you question your parenting skills in my presence ever again, you will have to deal with me. Got it?"

"But-" she started and I cut her off.

"Not. A. Single. Word!" I emphasized. Bella sniffled and nodded.

After the incident at the park, our relationship – if there was one to begin with- had reached a different level. We weren't _together,_ but it felt as if we were. A kiss on the forehead here and there, a snuggle on the couch when she felt sad after a rough day at work, receiving bone crushing hugs from her when I arrived at home with ice cream or her favorite coffee from Starbucks. She never pressured me for more, always allowing me to take one step at a time, and for that I was grateful. I knew I was going at a snail's pace but I wanted to make sure that everything I did was done correctly and for the right reasons, and thankfully Bella respected that. Ever since Alice moved in with Jasper, we got to spend many hours together, just the three of us. We had made progress; I had made progress.

"Bella," a man's voice called.

I turned to see a man approaching while he had his fucking arm draped around my son's shoulder. He didn't appear to be more than thirty-five. He was a typical guy: blond hair, blue eyes, tall, lean and full of muscles. His eyes were bright as he walked toward us, and suddenly I had the urge to wipe that fucking smile off his face.

"John, is everything okay?" she asked concerned.

"Calm down, sweetness," he smiled.

 _Sweetness!_ Fucker!

"The x-ray was clean, no indication of a fracture," he continued and I was perfectly sure that the vein on my forehead would burst when he placed his left hand on her shoulder. "The champ here," motioning at Will with his head, "will get away with only a bruise," he finished, and he had the fucking nerve to actually wink at her.

Piece of shit! 'I'll show you wink,' I roared in my mind. I cleared my throat somewhat loudly and all three heads turned to my direction.

"Oh, God!" Bella said and blushed. "How rude of me," she paused. "Edward, this is Dr. Singer, Head of Radiology. John, this is Edward Cullen," she continued and Will cut her off while he came to my side and hugged my middle.

"My dad," he smiled.

"Pleasure to meet you, Officer," he said and extended his hand. I took it and the fucker had the nerve to tighten his grip.

"Thank you for taking care of my son," I said in return.

"William is a very special kid," the fucker smiled.

"Don't I know it," I said, squeezing Will to my side.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and turned back to look at Bella. "I need to get back."

"Thanks for the favor," Bella said, hugging him briefly. I instantly noticed the son of bitch's hands rested really low on her back.

"Anytime for you, gorgeous," he said and started walking away. Suddenly he stopped and turned back toward her. "Oh, have you talked to Garcia?"

"No. Is every okay?" she asked.

"We had a small meeting with the Board today. In a couple of weeks, they're throwing an auction gala to raise money for the pediatric unit. You know, formal dresses, live music and food," he finished and Bella groaned miserably.

"Well, I'm not going so…" Bella said. The fucker looked like he was about to burst in tears.

 _Boo-fucking-hoo_! Pussy!

"That's a shame beautiful," he said and I was this close to ripping his fucking eyes out of their sockets. "Anyway I'm heading back. Are you working tomorrow?"

"No," she said and smiled as she looked at us. "I'm spending the day with my family."

_Take that fucker! Her family!_

As if on cue, William's stomach growled loudly and Bella giggled. "Someone is a bit hungry."

"Starving actually," William said seriously. "Come on let's go," he said and started walking.

We made a quick stop at the ER so Bella could tell them that she was taking her lunch break, and then we went to a deli a block away from the hospital. William hadn't said a word since we left the hospital, instead merely giving Bella side glances. He was pissed and I think I had an idea of what it was. Bella grabbed a Caesar's salad while William and I decided to have simple tuna sandwiches. I told them to go and have a seat while I took care of the rest, then I paid and brought our tray to the table. Bella was looking at Will while he stared out the window, the anger visible on his face.

We ate in silence, none of us daring to start a conversation. Bella never took her eyes from our son while she ate. She sighed, pushed her plate and folded her arms across her chest. As she opened her mouth to speak, I shook my head at her, letting her know to drop it. But she didn't.

"What's wrong, little man?" she asked and William stopped chewing.

"I'm eating," he said tersely.

"You know," Bella began in an irritated tone, "you're doing really poorly for someone who should be groveling and promising to stay out of trouble right now. Either tell me now what's wrong or drop your attitude!"

By then, my appetite was gone. I sighed and drank some water.

"Whatever," he mumbled and took another bite. Bella's chest started heaving and she leaned closer to him.

"When I get home, your ass is mine!" she hissed. Shit!

"Sure thing, _beautiful_ ," he growled lowly. "Or do you prefer _sweetness_ instead?" And then the cat was out of the bag. Bella took a deep breath, leaned back in her chair and ran her hand through her hair.

"Hun, can you look at me please?" Bella asked. When his eyes met hers, she continued. "John is just a friend."

"He wasn't stating that when he almost touch your bootie! Idiot!" William whispered/yelled.

"It's not like that, sweetheart…" she started and I snorted.

"See, even Dad agrees with me!" he fired back.

Her eyes snapped to mine and she cocked her head, speculating. I kept my poker face on and stared back at her, stating my agreement silently. ' _Come on_ ' I thought. ' _Provoke me and I'll show you who you belong to…_ ' She didn't though. Her smile was enough to know what she was thinking as well, and fuck me if I didn't smile back.

" _What the hell is going on?" I yelled when I arrived at the reservation for Jake's birthday._

_Bella was sitting between Jake's legs as he hugging her middle. Bella turned around and smiled at me when she saw me. The look I had on my face was enough to show her that I was angry. He had no reason to touch and I didn't give I fuck if they made mud pies since they were kids. He was touching my girl._

" _Edward, what's wrong?" Bella asked concerned._

" _I come here and find you between his legs and you're asking me what's wrong?" he snapped._

" _Easy there, man," Jake said._

" _Fuck off!" I yelled._

" _We weren't doing anything Edward, just talking," Bella said calmly._

" _He had his paws all over you!" I growled._

_Jake started laughing. "Paws? I'm not a dog or anything. Besides…"_

" _We're leaving," I said and grabbed her hand._

_That was the last time I ever talked to Jacob._ _With a brief goodbye to the Chief and Billy, we left. When we got back to her house, knowing that Charlie wouldn't be back until the following morning, I showed her numerous times with whom she belonged._

Bella cleared her throat, taking me out of my thoughts. "You two have no say to what I do. If I want to date, I will and I won't ask for permission," she said angrily. "You," she said pointing her finger at Will. "You need to remember who the mother is and who the child is. Don't disrespect me ever again by accusing me of being inappropriate. As for you," she began, turning her furious tearful gaze at me, "stop pretending you're jealous when we both know you're not because if you really were, you would have lifted your leg like a damn dog and peed all over around me to mark your territory!" she finished, got up and marched out of the deli.

_What the fuck just happened?_

****-Ж-** **

A loud banging of the door woke up both me and Ma. I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost nine in the morning.

"Where is he, Esme?" Bella yelled. I bolted from my bed when I heard her voice and ran to the living room.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, almost losing it when I saw her.

"What the fuck is this?" she yelled and threw a piece of paper in my face.

I started reading and instantly saw that it was the pay off of a loan she had taken; the amount was almost $110,000. The payment took place Thursday and it appeared that Bella was the one who did it.

"You lie to me by saying that you have no money and then you go behind my back paying off for a loan that it was my job to pay. I told you I never wanted your fucking money."

"Sweetie, calm down," Esme said. She reached out to hug her, but Bella stepped back. The hurt was evident on both of their faces.

"I have no idea wh-" I started to say but she cut me off.

"Don't. Lie!" she hissed and wiped her tears. I started getting pissed off because that was the truth. I had nothing to do with it but I was pretty sure that Ma was. "I'll drop off William at Emmett's and if you want to see him you can go there," Bella said and with that she left.

My chest started heaving and I clenched the piece of paper that decided to fuck up my life in my hand. I closed my eyes and counted up to twenty- as instructed by Garrett whenever I got pissed- before I turned to look at my mother.

"Ma, I'm gonna ask only once. Did you have anything to do with it?"

"Edward, be reasonable. I didn't know anything about it," she said and started pacing the living room.

Without thinking, I marched to my room, put on a t-shirt, grabbed my keys and went after her.


	17. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

The tires came to a screeching halt as I threw the car into park. During the ten minute ride, I thought only one thing: her leaving again. Fuck if I allowed it to happen ever again; she wasn't going anywhere. My hands were shaking as I put the key in the lock to open her apartment door. I took a deep breath, and right before I entered the house, I ran my hands over my eyes in a feeble attempt to stop my tears from falling.

' _Please, God, don't let her leave me again,_ ' I begged in my head.

"Bella!" I called loudly.

"Get the hell out of my house!" she said marching out of the kitchen. She was still crying.

"No! Not until you listen to me," I fired back and approached her in three long strides.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say," she yelled and turned to leave. I grabbed her elbow and forced her to look at me. "Let me go!" she screeched.

William came out of his bedroom and once he saw our stances, he narrowed his sleepy eyes. "What's going on?"

Bella glared at me the whole time, a disgusted look on her face. I had never seen her like that. She tried to pry herself loose from my grasp, but I wasn't having any of that. "Don't," I growled.

"I asked what's going on," Will said irritated.

"Will, your mother and I need to discuss something. Go to your room, kiddo," I said, attempting to play it cool.

"No," he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

' _Keep it together_ ' my mind hollered. "I'm asking nicely, William: go to your room," I said firmly.

"Take your hands off of her," he growled.

"Go to your room now!" I barked.

"Don't you ever talk to my son that way!" Bella screamed and she stomped heavily on my foot.

"Ah fuck!" I hissed and sat down on the couch. I kicked off my loafer to assess the damage. Shit, it was bleeding- the skin was ripped from the small toe. "Damn woman! That fucking hurt!" I bitched.

As if I wasn't there, she approached Will and hugged him. "Baby, please go. I need to speak with your father."

Will shot me a glare, then looked back at his mother. "Are you gonna be okay?" he whispered.

"I'll be fine, little man," she smiled.

"Just holler if you need some ass-kicking done!" he snapped angrily and started walking to his room backwards, his eyes never leaving mine. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!

Bella went into the bathroom for a moment, came out holding a small first aid kit, and threw it at me while she stayed at a safe distance. I sighed heavily knowing that I had fucked up royally with both her and Will. What the fuck was wrong with me? Groveling wouldn't be enough. I was perfectly sure that I had lost everything I had built with him: trust, respect, safety. What child would ever want someone like me around?

The answer was simple: none.

"You will never talk to my son the way you did ever again," Bella started lowly. "The only time you are allowed to yell at him is when he screws up badly and not because he wakes up to find his parents fighting," she finished. I nodded and said nothing. Only I was to blame for this.

I buried my head in my hands and sighed heavily. "Shit! I am so sorry, Bells. I didn't mean for this to happen. Everything happened so fast: you coming home, yelling, leaving and scaring the shit out of me. Christ!" I looked up at her and saw that she was wiping her eyes. "I-I can handle anything- absolutely anything you do to me except for one thing. I never want to feel again the way I felt when I saw you leaving," I continued with a hoarse voice. "I know I still have things I need to deal with, and I swear I'm trying so hard to fix them. Anger is one of them, especially when I'm blamed for something I didn't do."

She snorted and narrowed her eyes at me. "Edward, who else would pay off my loan if not you?"

I got up and went to her, taking her head in my hands. "I _swear_ I didn't pay off your loan. I don't have that kind of money, and I know Ma wouldn't do it without telling me first. I'm telling you the truth, please believe me!"

Bella put her hands in her back pockets of her jeans and shuffled from leg to leg. I knew what that meant: she believed me. She placed her forehead on my chest and sniffled. I smiled and hugged the shit out of her. I kissed the top of her head and she looked at me. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"It's okay," I said, instantly forgetting everything. "I promise to find out everything. I just need to talk to Will first and then go to the bank."

"I've been to the bank," she said and ran her hand through her hair. "They told me that the deposit came from Edward Anthony Cullen. Why do you think I marched in your house like that?"

Who the fuck would do something like that? "We'll figure it out," I said and took a step back. "I need to talk to Will. We'll talk later, okay?" I asked and she nodded.

I cleaned my toe quickly, put my loafer back on, and went to his room. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. When I didn't get any answer, I knocked again a little louder and waited. The door swung open and when Will saw me, he slammed the door in my face, locking it. I was screwed.

"Will, please open the door. I need to talk to you," I said calmly. Since I didn't get an answer, I kept going. "Look, I know I messed up and I have to explain why, so will you please open the door?" I waited patiently for a few minutes and when I realized that he didn't want to talk to me, I sighed and left.

Bella was sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. "He'll come around. I'll talk to him later, he'll understand," she said and patted my hand.

I shook my head. "Bella, he saw me manhandling you and I yelled at him."

"If he values his ass, he'll listen," she joked but I knew she meant it. "Anyway, Alice called and invited us to dinner. She said that they had some news to share."

"I know. Tex called me yesterday. What time should I come by to pick you up? Is six okay?" Bella nodded and with a brief goodbye, I went back home.

By the time I got back to my apartment, my head was pounding. I had really fucked up. The kid looked up to me and I'd failed him. I was no different from Carlisle. I needed to make amends because seriously I couldn't deal with losing the connection we'd developed.

"Ma?" I called. There was no answer.

I went in the kitchen to make some coffee and saw that the pot was full and a plate of muffins was on the table. Next to it was a note:

_**Edward,** _

_**I received a call yesterday from the shelter. I was supposed to let you know this morning, but I didn't get the chance when Bella showed up. I have to go back to Forks because the lawyer needs me to sign some last papers before Mrs. Cope takes over the reins.** _

_**I will make sure to catch up with Charlie and cook for him as well. That man deserves to have a decent homemade meal every now and then. I'll be back the day after tomorrow at the latest.** _

_**I love you,** _

_**Mom** _

"Great," I muttered. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I was used to having her around and with Will pissed off at me, I would be all alone again. I would have liked to have him with me for a couple of days since Ma was away.

I reached into the cabinet, grabbed a mug and poured some coffee. As I drank, I decided to send him a text message, hoping he would reply.

**Please** **, kiddo, I didn't mean it. Need to talk to you. Love you.**

As expected, I got no response. Having the day off and nothing else to do, I went back to bed but sleep never came. I kept checking my cell phone every five minutes but it stayed silent. My mind churned around the fact that someone posed as me and paid off Bella's loan. No one from my family would do that since they knew about the sensitivity of the matter. Bella was a proud person and would never accept anything like that no matter what. For a moment, I thought it might have been Charlie, but the facts didn't hold together. Had he had the money, he would have paid it off a long time ago.

Suddenly it occurred to me: Jenks. He was expensive but I knew that he was the only one able to help me. Maybe he wouldn't have a problem if I asked if I could delay full payment for a few months; he'd handled our family's shit for decades. I took a deep breath, then dialed his personal number and waited.

" _Jenks,_ " he said.

"Good morning Uncle J. It's Edward."

" _Edward!_ _What a nice surprise. How are you, son?_ "

"I'm good. Listen, I need your help with something," I said.

" _Anything you need._ "

"Over the past few days, someone posed as me and paid off a loan for someone. The amount was $110,000 and person who owed the money was Isabella Marie Swan. I need to know who did this."

" _Did they hack into your bank account and pay it off?_ " he asked seriously.

"We both know I don't have that kind of money. I just have to know who did this and why."

" _Okay. Tell me which bank was it and I'll handle the rest._ "

"I just need to ask for a small favor before we proceed," I said hesitantly. "I know that this isn't the way you normally work but would it be possible if I paid you in a couple of months? I typically wouldn't ask this but this matter needs to be settled quickly," I paused but he cut me off before I continued.

" _You should be ashamed for asking that, boy,_ " he said angrily. " _I've known you for twenty-six years; your mother is my cousin! We used to have dinner every other weekend, you played with my kids. Hell, I even babysat for your sorry ass! Did you think that I'd take money from you? Did I even take a nickel when I drew the papers for your trust fund?_ "

"No, sir," I sighed.

" _So then_ , _why would you even think that I'd take it from you now? From your father, yes, I would drain him dry if I could. I wouldn't even talk to him if it wasn't for your mother!_ " he said. " _Anyway, I'll call you back later in the afternoon when I find out, okay?_ "

"Okay," I said. After giving him a few more details, I hung up. If anyone would get to the bottom of things, it would be Jenks.

****-Ж-****

Around ten minutes to six, I got to Bella's house and went inside; Bella had gone to a pastry shop to pick up dessert so I waited. Sunny rushed to me and I knelt down to pet him.

"Ah, Sunny," I whispered. "Life is so easy for you. You sleep, eat, crap, and that's it. No need to worry about anything."

A door opened and I lifted my head to see who it was. When William saw me, he went into the kitchen and started banging the cabinets. "Sunny, food," he barked and the dog ran to him. Christ, what was happening to his voice? When did it get so deep?

I made my way to the kitchen and I saw him watching the dog as he ate. Will tensed up when he saw me approach him. I needed to make this right… I sat in a chair and looked at him.

"Will, please hear me out." I said. He didn't even look at me. "Listen, I know I messed up and I…"

"Good boy," he said, ignoring me completely as he bent over to pick up the bowl. He rinsed it, placed it in the dishwasher and quickly moved to leave. Once I realized that he was getting away, I blocked the door.

"You're not leaving until you hear what I have to say," I said. The glare he gave me was enough to tell me that he wouldn't… that he didn't want to. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Come on, son, let's sit down," I said waiting for him to be seated.

William sat, crossed his arms over his chest and waited. "Are you going to keep ignoring me?" I asked. Still silence. "What you saw wasn't what you're thinking. Your mom came into my house…" I didn't get to finish. He got up from the chair and tried to make a hasty exist. I shot up from my chair and grabbed his elbow in an effort to stop him. Will stopped dead in his tracks and started heaving. He turned, glared at my hand, and then looked at me.

"If you don't let go my arm right now, stomping on your foot will be nothing compared to what I'll do to you," he snapped.

My breath caught in my throat; I did this to him. I drove my son away and I didn't know how to fix it. I released his arm and he left the room without sparing me another glance. I sank down in a chair and mentally kicked myself. Bella appeared out of nowhere, hugged me from behind, and kissed the top of my head. And what did I do? I sniffled like a fucking girl.

"He'll come around. He's just pissed because he heard us fight and even though he is dying to find out why, he won't listen to anyone," Bella sighed.

"He's so stubborn," I retorted sullenly.

"And you say that he is nothing like you," she giggled.

"Oh no, love, he is all you in that department," I chuckled and I heard her gasp. "What?" I asked as I saw her astonished face.

"No-nothing," she stammered.

The drive to Alice's and Jasper's was silent. No one said anything even though Bella attempted to start light conversation. My heart clenched the every time I stole a glance at Will: his face was angry and sad at the same time. I wish he would just talk to me, scream or whatever he needed to do to free himself of the hurt he was feeling- the one I'd caused.

"What time is your appointment with Garrett next week?" Bella suddenly asked.

"Uh, Monday at six. I thought it would be better since William will still be out of school and doesn't have practice," I said. I looked briefly at him through the rearview mirror and our eyes met.

"I have Italian, Ma," he said.

Bella turned and narrowed her eyes at him. "You have Italian every Tuesday and Thursday."

"Well next week I have only Monday. I'm not ditching Italian so I can visit the loony-bin doc," he almost barked.

Bella's nostrils flared. This was getting out of hand.

"Now you listen to me you little br…" she almost yelled and I cut her off.

"It's okay, Bells. His education is more important." I said with a smile. Inside I was dying.

I knew for a fact that William didn't have Italian at _all_ next week since Ms. Bianca had to go to New York for her sister's wedding. This was just his excuse for not wanting to come with me. Bella wouldn't know since she'd be at work. Now, someone might question why I didn't call him on his bullshit to Bella. The answer was simple: I was already at the top of his shit-list and I didn't want to make things worse. I just hoped that we would fix things quickly.

I parked the car a few blocks away from Alice's and Jasper's building. To be honest, I knew what this dinner was about but I had been sworn to secrecy. Bella didn't know and Alice wanted to surprise her. We all knew for sure that she would be angry but the second part of the surprise would make her ecstatic. Alice deserved anything good that happened in her life.

"Will Aunt Rose be there, Ma?" Will asked on our way up.

"Yes," she said briskly.

"Good," he smiled, dismissing Bella's tone. The elevator came to a stop, the door opened and William ran toward Jasper's door.

"I want to rip him apart," Bella hissed lowly.

I sighed. "Come on, let's go and have some fun with our friends," I said and took her hand in mine.

As we made our way in the house, Bella was attacked by a small tornado with black spiky hair. William was between Emmett and Rosalie, fussing over her huge belly. When my brother saw me he smiled and nodded. Jasper was nowhere to be seen and I knew that he was sort of hiding. Everything between him and Alice had progressed so fast that it was just a matter of time before he freaked out. I wasn't worried that he'd back out; Jasper always knew what he wanted as far as Alice was concerned. Just as he said once: they were meant to be together. Anyone could see it in their eyes, the way they touched and how their eyes would follow the other when they were around each other.

Tex came out of the kitchen with two beers in his hands. He visibly relaxed when he saw me. I was the one he came to first when he found out about their new 'predicament'. I chuckled as I remember how panicked and elated he was at the same time. He would finally have what he always sought from the first time he laid eyes on Alice: a future.

_I'm gonna marry that gal_ _, Edward, and when I do, you're gonna stand by my side…_

Jasper approached me and handed me a beer. "How are you holding up?" I chuckled.

"Scared shitless," he smiled.

Bella decided it was the right moment to screech. "Alice, what the hell is that?"

Alice lowered her head and smiled widely. Bella threw herself at her, hugged her and started crying. Rosalie gasped when she saw Bella taking Alice's hand and looking at it.

"Emmett, move your ass and help me get up," Rose said sternly. Emmett barked a laugh and that got him a smack on the back of his head. "Don't laugh at me, you oaf! You did this to me!"

"And I love you more for that alone!" Emmett said and helped her get up.

My God, she was huge and she was only six months into her pregnancy. I couldn't help but wonder if Bella was that big. What it would have been like had I had the chance to be with her all along: to feel him kick and move? I glanced around and saw the women fussing over Alice's ring while Emmett and Jasper talked. Meanwhile, Will was looking anywhere but at me. My chest tightened once again. I took out my cell and texted him again.

**I know** **I'm to blame. I just need a chance to talk to you and nothing else. I love you, Will.**

I sent it and waited. He glared at the screen of his cell phone for a few seconds and then looked at me briefly under his lashes. Maybe I could send him an e-mail or something. I made a mental note to ask Jasper if I could use his computer later. I didn't have anything to lose by trying, right?

"Everyone, may I have your attention please?" Alice said and smiled. Jasper went to her side and kissed her temple. "We have some news to share. Now before I start, I need to tell you that everything happened very fast and, Bella, please don't be mad at me," she continued and lowered her head briefly.

"Uh oh! I know that look," Bella giggled. "What did you do Alice?"

Jasper took a deep breath and looked at me. With a small nod from me, he took over. "Yesterday morning, Alice and I got married."

"You what?" Bella yelled in surprise and everything went silent.

I walked over to her and stood behind her. "Take it easy on her. There's more," I whispered lowly and kissed the back of her head.

Alice shrugged and looked at Bella with a huge smile on her face. "Do you remember the other day when I told you that I wasn't feeling well?" Alice smiled and her eyes started watering.

"Oh my God! Alice!" Bella screeched and threw herself at her. "I can't believe it!"

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" William said, a bit irritated. I turned to look at him.

Jasper looked at him. "Alice and I are having a baby," he responded.

"I can't believe it!" Bella said through her tears. "I'm going to be an aunt!"

The next hour passed quickly with a lot of laughter and teasing. I was happy watching my family so joyful and carefree. We all needed a break from the shit that had been thrown at us. We ate and chatted about the babies. Bella and Rose explained things to Alice about the pregnancy and warned Jasper to get ready for the cravings. Emmett snorted muttering something that sounded like 'fucking fig cobbler' and while Rose glared at him, the rest of us laughed.

"Yeah, laugh, little brother. As if you'd have done anything differently had you been in my shoes," Emmett blurted, not realizing what he said. The smile on my face disappeared instantly. Rose slapped him hard and everyone stopped talking.

"Fucking idiot!" Rose hissed.

I sighed. "It's okay, Rose. Let's not spoil the mood, okay? You know what he meant. Besides do you think I would be that dumb to run around Chicago?" I asked and smirked.

The room became so silent that you could have heard a pin drop. I looked at Bella; when I saw her paled face full of sadness and felt my son's glare literally cracking my scull, I chuckled. "I would have gotten the damn recipe and made it myself!" Bella's face beamed instantly and everyone started laughing.

"As if you could cook," Bella teased.

"This is where you are dearly mistaken, baby sister," Emmett said. "That man over there can make a mean stuffed chicken. Not to mention his mouthwatering lamb stew and chocolate cake. Ma taught him well," he continued. "You should have seen him with an apron," he said and his boisterous laugh overpowered the others.

My phone started ringing so I grabbed my beer and excused myself. It was Jenks. I went to the kitchen and answered.

"Uncle J," I said.

" _Hello, boy,_ " he sighed. That wasn't a good sign. " _I looked into the transaction you mentioned this morning._ "

"Okay," I said. "Did you find anything?"

" _I found out everything apart from the why, Edward,_ " he began. " _The transaction was made in Seattle. Last Wednesday, a little before the bank closed, someone opened an account under your name and deposited the money. The following morning, the money was transferred to the loan's direct account, and through that Bella's loan was paid off. The person who created the account was a lawyer named Patrick Sullivan,_ " Jenks said slowly.

"I don't know anyone by that name," I said and took a sip of my beer.

" _I know you don't,_ " he said. " _Mr. Sullivan was hired to do only that._ "

"I don't understand. Who would do something like that and why?" I asked somewhat heatedly.

" _As I said before, I know who but not the why,_ " he replied.

"Who was it?" I asked.

" _I need you to be calm, son,_ " he stalled.

"For fucks sake, Uncle J. Tell me who the fuck it was!" I almost yelled.

" _Carlisle,_ " he said.

The last thing I remembered was Bella yelling my name and everything went black.

****-Ж-****

_Please_ _, Angel, open your eyes…_

_Maybe we should take him to the hospital…_

_He's been like that for fifteen minutes…_

_What the fuck happened…_

_Ma, I'm scared…_

My eyes fluttered open as I heard my family's concerned voices. I groaned as the light hit my eyes. My head was resting on Bella's lap, her hands on both sides of my face.

"There you are," she smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek. "You scared us."

"What happened?" I asked.

"You were in the kitchen, talking on the phone…"

" _For fucks sake_ _, Uncle J. Tell me who the fuck it was!"_

" _Carlisle…"_

"I got worried because you yelled, so I came to check on you. When I entered the kitchen, you blacked out and collapsed on the floor," Bella said and her eyes brimmed with tears again. "Don't you do that to me ever again."

I got up and sat on the couch, my head spinning. I covered my eyes with my hands and moaned loudly. It was as if I had a thousand hammers in my head, pounding into oblivion. My ears were buzzing from the intensity. "Ah fuck, my head," I growled through my pain.

"Here," Emmett said, handing me a pill. "It's Advil. Take it and don't drink any beer. I'll go make some coffee."

"I've got it," Alice said and dragged Bella, Will and Rose with her.

When they disappeared into the kitchen, I grabbed my phone and called Jenks again. He picked up the phone after the first ring.

" _Edward, are you okay? You scared the hell out of me, boy,_ " he said concerned.

"I'm good," I said, got up and went to the balcony. Emmett and Jasper followed me. "Where is he?" I growled.

" _I don't have a clue, son. I've been calling him all day long and his phone is out of service. I've looked everywhere but nothing. Did you know that he retired from the hospital ten days ago?_ "

"I don't give a fuck if he retired or not. The last thing that son of bitch will see is the pit I'm gonna throw him in when I cut him to fucking pieces!" I yelled.

" _Now now, Edward. There is no need to take things so far,_ " he tried to soothe me. " _There is a reason he did what he did. How about we find out first, okay?_ "

"Find him!" I roared and shut the phone.

I lit a cigarette and smoked that sucker down. The whole time I had my eyes closed, breathing heavily. What the fuck was he trying to pull? Why would he do something like that? I had warned the fucker to stay away from my family! Did he have a goddamned suicide wish? I heard a throat cleaning and turned my gaze to see who it was. William was holding a small tray with three cups of coffee.

"Your coffee. Ma, Aunt Rose and Aunt Allie are in the bedroom," he mumbled. We thanked him, took the cups from the tray and he left without saying a word.

"Are you fit to talk now or are you gonna go apeshit on us?" Emmett asked.

"Bella went to the bank today to deposit some money for med school loan and saw that it was paid off. When she asked who paid it, the bank informed her that _Edward_ _Cullen_ transferred the amount to her account today. She came to my condo and accused me of paying off her loan," I said and paused.

"That's insane, Edward. She knows you don't have any money, and even if you did, you would have told her beforehand. The same goes for Ma and me," Emmett said seriously.

"I know," I said. "I called Jenks and told him what happened and asked him to find out who did it."

"And based on your reaction, I assume he found out?" Jasper asked.

"He did," I spat. "It was Carlisle!"

"What?" Emmett asked, and I knew with a look that he was about to lose his shit as well.

"He paid a fucking lawyer to set up the account and the rest. Jenks can't find him anywhere. Guys, I swear to God the next time I see him, he'd better be good as dead because if not I will skin him alive," I hissed and lit another cigarette with shaky hands. "I mean what the fuck? First he goes to my place to see Ma wh…"

"He what?" Emmett yelled, cutting me off.

"Wait until you hear the rest. He goes to see Ma when I'm not there to see if _we_ needed anything and to say that he wanted to see my kid. When she tells him to fuck off, the fucker had the nerve to go to Bella's when no one was there so he could meet my kid," I snarled.

"Excuse me?" Jasper exclaimed, bewildered.

"You heard me. The fucker knew that I wouldn't go after him that day, so he checked out of the hotel and left. You have no idea the things I said to his voice mail," I continue with ferocity.

"Fuck, Bella must have flipped out," Emmett said. I said nothing.

"Edward?" Jasper asked.

"I didn't tell her, okay?" I said, exasperated.

"You idiot!" Emmett said. "What do you think she'll do now? She'll serve you your balls for breakfast on a silver platter for keeping this from her!"

"Ah, shit!" I said and rubbed my forehead.

"Too late for that," Emmett sighed. "You need to tell her immediately. Sit down and talk about it. Maybe Jasper and Alice can help obtain a restraining order or something."

"I don't know about a restraining order, but we'll look into it," Jasper said. "We're a family and we protect our own." I smiled at my friend.

"All right. This is what we'll do. We'll take William with us for a sleepover and you four can sit down and talk about it. Is that okay?" Emmett asked.

Everything happened really fast. Emmett went inside, announced that he would take Will with him, they said their goodbyes and soon they were gone. Bella and Alice instantly knew that something was wrong.

"What's going on?" Bella asked almost frantically.

"Sit down, darlin', because there are some things that need to be discussed," Tex said.

Bella nodded and sat down next to me and looked at me.

"Bells, something happened the day Will was released from the hospital." Having her undivided attention, I started narrating the events of that day. When she heard that Carlisle approached our son, she lost it along with Alice.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier?" she said and shot up from the couch. "Oh my God! What am I gonna do?" she cried and started pacing around the living room. "I need to keep Will safe. He must never come in contact with Carlisle," she continued frantically. "There's got to be something we can do to keep him away."

I got up and enveloped her in my arms. "He won't get anywhere near him, Bella. I won't allow it. I'll keep both of you safe. This was the reason I didn't tell you the first time. I was afraid of your reaction."

She had every damn right to react the way she did. Alice hadn't said a word and neither did Jasper. They were talking in hushed tones, probably trying to find a legal way to keep Carlisle away.

"What are you two talking about?" Bella sniffled as she sat down on the couch.

Alice rubbed her forehead. "About getting a restraining order. Carlisle never assaulted William in any way, so it's not possible. He only tried to get in contact with him once so we can't claim harassment either. It's not a crime when a person wants to meet someone, especially when that someone is a family member."

"That's bullshit and you know it Alice," I said somewhat calmly. "He's fucked up. He'd been verbally assaulting Ma, not to mention the abuse. He may not have hit her, but he bruised her several times throughout the years by grabbing and yanking her. That's abuse in my eyes."

"It is but your mother never reported that. Had she done that, things would be much easier," Tex said. "Then we'd have reason for the protection order. If someone could testify…"

"I'll do it," I said instantly. "Hell, even the Chief will do it. He was with me when I saw it. I'm sure Mom would do it in a heartbeat."

"Okay," Alice said. She grabbed her cell, dialed a number, we watched as she talked. Jasper smiled when he heard the name 'Lucinda'.

"Carlisle is fucked," Tex smirked. "Lucinda Grim is the bitchiest judge ever in mankind. She puts Rosalie to shame when she's pissed off, not to mention that she's the best at what she does. She was the one that convicted Victoria. Grim has a soft spot for kids, especially when there is a threat toward them. It'll be over soon."

Bella sighed in relief and rested her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "I told you everything would be okay."

****-Ж-****

The first thing Monday morning, Emmett, Bella, Jasper, Alice and me met with Judge Grim. The process took less than an hour. After expressing our fears, explaining the fact we had witnessed domestic violence upon Ma and also that he went to Bella's apartment without any adults around, we managed to obtain an emergency protection order. The duration was only for three weeks and Carlisle didn't have to be notified. If he came into contact with William during those three weeks, we could file for a restraining order.

Charlie went ballistic when we called him later that day. Ma happened to be around that moment and she nearly had a stroke. Getting the protection order calmed down both of them almost instantly but still... A small 'what if' lingered and we had to be cautious. We all formed a plan: under no circumstances would Will be left alone. We would drive him to and from school, and take him to practice. No more bus rides alone or walking the dog alone.

My boy still gave me the silent treatment, although he stopped glaring at me or leaving the room when I was around. I had the day off on Monday so I got a chance to stay around for a while until Emmett picked him up so I could go to therapy. It saddened me that he wasn't coming with me. I had hoped he'd change his mind but he didn't. Bella and I decided to tell him the following day about the order. He was old enough to understand several things and we hoped that he would follow the rules we'd set temporarily without any protest.

Emmett had noticed the tension between Will and me as I dropped him off. I had sometime to spare so I explained what happened. He was shocked but he also understood. He told me that he would come around and not to worry.

The drive to Garrett's office was quick since Emmett lived only four blocks away. When I entered the reception area, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a very familiar face that I hadn't seen in a very long time.

"Kate?"

She looked at me and smiled brightly. "Edward, what are you doing here?" she asked and got up to give me a brief hug.

"I'm the six o'clock appointment," I smiled.

"Good. I saw the name on the calendar and I knew it sounded familiar," she said and walked back to her desk. "Have a seat. Garrett will be done shortly."

"Thanks," I said. "So how have you been?"

"I'm good. Things are great with school and now I have a new job. The previous therapist I worked with relocated to New York and since he knew Garrett was looking for a receptionist, here I am," she paused. "I'm happy that you're getting therapy. You seem less tense."

"I am. Thank you, Kate. The things you told me, among other things, made me realize I needed to pull myself together," I continued and Garrett's door opened. I looked at him and his face lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when he saw Kate. ' _My, my,_ ' I thought to myself and smirked. ' _Someone has a crush._ ' The best part: Kate's face looked the same.

"Edward," Garrett said and nodded his head in acknowledgement.

I stood up. "Garrett."

"Let's go in," he said and I followed his lead.

"Where's William?" he asked instantly.

"You don't waste time, do you?" I asked. He shrugged and I told him all that had occurred over the past week.

"Edward, for the past thirteen years it had been only his mom, aunt and grandfather. They protected him, and he in return did the same in his own way. He saw his parents fighting and the protection mode kicked in. Once he calms down, he will come to you. Don't fret over it," he said.

"I know," I sighed. "We were bonding so well and I got used to doing things with him all the time. . I'm still new at the whole fatherhood thing and sometimes I'm at a loss."

"No one is ready for fatherhood, Edward. We learn along the way. Everyone makes mistakes and you should know that. There isn't a parent in the world that hasn't questioned whether he or she did a good job raising a child," he paused. "What got you so riled up anyway? Was it the fact that Bella was mad at you or something else?"

"Partly that she was mad, but most of all I was scared that she might take Will and leave," I said as I looked at the floor. "I love them both so much, Garrett."

"Have you told them those things?" Garrett asked.

"Not per se, but I told Bella something similar last Saturday."

"Have you told them you love them?"

"I told Will. He called me Dad and, Garrett, I swear to God that if I'd died that moment, I would have died the happiest man ever," I grinned.

Garrett's smile was genuine. "That's good. As I matter of fact, I want…" There was a knock on the door and he stopped talking. "Come in," he said and the door opened. I didn't turn to see who it was. "Can I help you?" Garrett asked.

"I'm supposed to be present for this session. I'm sorry I'm late," I heard a voice say and the small click of the door closing.

I bolted from the chair and turned around. There he stood, my son, looking straight into my eyes. My heart started beating erratically. He was here when he said he wouldn't be. Why the change of heart in less than half an hour? What happened? I smiled at him and he lowered his head, sniffling. He's been crying.

"Will?" I asked, walking to him.

He wiped his cheek in order to stop crying but his tears kept coming. William looked at me and threw himself at me, hugging me tightly. When I hugged him back, he started crying even more.

"Whoa, easy there, kiddo. What's wrong?" I asked gently in a feeble attempt to soothe him.

"I'm sorry, Daddy, so very sorry. I talked to Uncle Emmett. I should've let me you explain. I'm such a jerk sometimes. I didn't mean to act like that. I woke up and heard you fighting with Mom, you were holding her hand, you yelled at me. And on top of that, you grabbed my arm when I was pissed off at you. I'm lethal when I'm angry," he mumbled and I chuckled.

"My very own Bruce Lee," I teased him.

"Knock it off, Dad," he said and released me.

We sat down, I introduced them and Garrett started a small conversation with Will. He asked him how he liked Chicago, about his interests, his favorite music. He wanted Will to feel comfortable around him and the kid truly was.

"Are you nervous to be here?" Garrett asked him.

"No," Will said and leaned back in his chair.

"Why is that?" Garrett asked.

"Because you're helping my dad. If you weren't, you might be flat on the ground by now," he joked. Garrett laughed.

"You're very protective of your family," Garrett stated.

"Aren't you?" William responded.

"I am indeed," Garrett smiled at him. "However you're angry with your father for fighting with your mom."

"I wasn't angry because he fought with Mom. Grown ups fight all the time." Will started. "I was angry at him because Ma told him to let go of her hand and he didn't. I didn't like that. Pops told once that women - even though emotionally they are fiercer than men - often lack the strength men have, and that men should never mistreat them," Will answered and looked out the window.

Garrett tapped his pen on his desk a couple of times looking at Will, pensive. He pursed his lips and I knew immediately that I wouldn't like what would come out of his mouth. I had enough experience by now to know that. That fucker was sneaky.

"William," Garrett started. "You're very mature for a thirteen-year old. It surprises me to see children that think the way they do. Most children at your age are more carefree, so to speak." Garrett looked at me once and I narrowed my eyes at him, warning him to be careful what he asked.

"If you think so," Will muttered. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it lightly, gaining in return a smile back from him. God, I loved him so much.

"Let's play a small game," Garrett said. "I'll give you a word, a name, maybe a place, and you respond with the first word that comes to mind. If I need to know more, then I'll ask. Are you okay with that?" Will nodded, Garrett took his pen, leaned forward and I immediately tensed up.

"Mom," Garrett started.

"Home," Will said.

"Alice."

"Clothes," William said and giggled.

"Music."

"Relieving."

"Edward," Garrett said and put his pen down.

William paused. "Does it have to be one word?" he asked. Garrett nodded. "Safe," Will said.

"Explain that to me please," Garrett asked and I held my breath.

"My dad is a worrier. Ever since I started approaching him, he always told me about safety. He had been angry with me several times because I never listened when there was a bad situation he needed to handle and I happened to be present."

"Like the day he got shot?" Garrett asked.

William frowned and nodded, looking at the floor. "Yeah."

"Tell me how you felt that day."

"That day we started talking and he said that people could be deceiving. I knew he was talking about my mom. I was going to tell you that, you know," he whispered and looked at me briefly. "I was so tired of hiding it from you. Even though Mom never stopped talking about you, I was missing you so much and then you go and get shot. I mean what the hell, Dad?" he said and started getting aggravated. "One of the first things you learn as an officer is never engage in a situation without back up. He was holding a gun, Dad, a freaking gun and he shot you. He told you not to move and yet you tried to get him. That was so _not_ cool!" he continued, got up and started pacing. Suddenly I started feeling shitty. "Do you know how it felt when I tried to wake you up and you wouldn't? I was so scared that I would never talk to you again, that I would never tell you who I was. I thought you would die thinking Ma had betrayed you," he finished and sunk down in his chair.

' _Well done, fucker,_ ' I thought bitterly.

"Emmett," Garrett said without commenting on Will's little outburst.

_Little my ass…_

"Funny."

"Esme."

"Chocolate."

Garrett paused for a moment and scratched something on his legal pad. "That'll be all, William," he said. "Can you wait outside for your father? I need to talk to him before he leaves."

"Okay," Will said. He got up and like the gentleman he was raised to be, he extended his hand to Garrett. "Thanks for inviting me."

"The pleasure was all mine," Garrett said, smiled kindly and shook his hand.

"I'll be out soon," I said and winked at him.

"Okay, Dad," he said and walked toward the exit. As he reached the door, he paused and turned to look at Garrett. "Misguided," he said. Garrett cocked his head. "For the last thing you crossed out on your notepad," Will said and left the room.

Garrett shook his head and chuckled. "You have one hell of a kid there, Edward."

"What was the last thing you didn't ask?" I asked, perplexed.

"Carlisle," was all he said.

****-Ж-****

_It was one of the rare days that the sun shone in Forks. I was lyin_ _g on a blanket, watching Bella and Will play._

" _Da-da!" my two-year old called. He started running with his tiny feet toward me and extended his hands. "Da-da! Da-da!" he laughed._

_Bella was a couple of feet behind him; arms crossed over her chest, smiling. Will crashed in my arms and started kissing my cheek. "There's my little man," I chuckled and started tickling him. The meadow was filled with laughter and little screeches._

_Bella came and sat down next to us. "The loves of my life," she sighed. "If only you'd be able to get into my head for just a second to see the depth of my feelings."_

" _I can see it in your eyes," I said and kissed her lips tenderly._

" _I don't want- I refuse to live without you," Bella said as her eyes started brimming with tears._

" _He can't get to us anymore, Bells," I said to her, as I shifted our son to my other side to hug her. "We're a family now and I love you both so much. I'll keep you safe no matter what."_

_We lay down on the blanket, a sleepy Will on my chest and we both closed our eyes and drifted off to sleep._

…

_I woke up and I was in Bella's dark living room. I was no longer a twenty-year old man. Instead I was the thirty-one year old man I was now. Did I dream all that?_

" _You did actually," I heard Garrett say. I spun around and saw him standing in the far corner right behind me. "What you saw was the life you could – would - have had if she'd made a different choice. Now I want you to see what you do to her by resisting giving in to your heart."_

_I heard someone sobbing lightly. It was her. I started walking toward her bedroom and I opened her door. Bella was curled up in her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest, sobbing her heart out. She looked so desperate, so alone. It was heart-wrenching. I kneeled in front of her and looked at her face._

" _I m-miss you so m-much," she cried. "Please, take me out of my misery. P-please," she wailed._

" _I'm here baby," I said as my tears started to flow. "I'm here and I love you. Always have, always will."_

" _A-ah Edwarddd," she cried._

" _Bells, look at me," I said but she did nothing._

" _She can't hear you, nor feel your presence," Garrett's voice called from behind me. "This is what she feels like every time you see her, every time you touch her, every time she looks at you. Her mouth will never say those things but her mind is screaming them to you every single time she looks at you. Talk to her, Edward, before it's too late…"_

…

It had been a week since I had that dream. A week since Garrett's words burned into my soul. I would talk to her tonight. I would tell her that I was done living without her.

That I loved her…


	18. AFL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

I had a lot of things to think about and prepare for tonight. Thank God it was one of _those_ days where nothing was happening at the station- barely any phone calls and no disruption of the calm. I knew the things I wanted to tell her and where I was gonna do it. As soon as I got in, I talked to Marcus and the fucker was as excited as I was. There was so little to do, I started looking online for houses. Since I was doing this, I would do it right.

We would need a three bedroom-house, at least; one of the bedrooms would be a guest room for Charlie whenever he visited. I wasn't gonna have him stay at a hotel. I wanted a large kitchen for Bella since she always dreamt of having a big one to work her wonders in there. We'd need a decent sized living room, a garage, a backyard for Sunny and for the new addition I was planning on getting. Now I loved that goofball of a dog but I also wanted a Grand Dane. If Bella didn't want a Dane, we could get another Retriever or even that god-awful dog with the punk hair that had its tongue hanging out of its my beautiful girl wanted. I didn't care if I had to work like a dog to pay off the house. I would do it because she deserved that much.

After printing info on fifteen houses, I started looking online for rings. Yes, I had every intention on marrying her but not yet. That would happen after she finished her specialization at the hospital. She already worked insane hours and I didn't want to add more pressure. As I was searching the various websites for the perfect ring, I thought about talking to Will about all this. I wanted him to be mine legally. I wanted the whole world to know that I was his father. I knew for a fact that he wanted it as well. We just had to find the right timing for everyone.

I checked my watch and saw that Will should be up by now. Since it was the last day of school before Spring Break, he asked _both_ of us yesterday if he could use his second skip and not attend today. We gladly agreed and I promised to call him this morning to see how he was doing. Just as I took out my phone to call him, it rang and I saw that it was Will.

"Morning, kiddo," I smiled.

" _Hey Dad,_ " he paused. " _How's work?_ "

"Boring. Not much to do today," I sighed.

" _Well you guys need more days like today. Just sit back, relax and let the government pay you for doing nothing,_ " he chuckled.

"How thoughtful of you, son," I laughed.

" _I know, right?_ " he said and I could feel him smiling. " _So listen, Dad…_ " he began slowly.

Uh, oh. I could tell he wanted something. "Mmhm?"

" _Since it was the last day at school before Spring Break, Mister B decided to cancel all classes and dismissed the students,_ " he said. " _Which means that my skip day is saved for another day, right?_ "

"I'll talk about it with your mama," I said. "But I think it's saved. Don't know for sure."

" _Anyway, Ma is at surgery and since Uncle Em is still at work, Nana went with Aunt Rose for baby stuff and Uncle Tex had to go because Allie called him to bring some papers to her at court so I have nothing to do. Would it be okay if I called the guys to come over and watch a movie or something?_ "

"I'm fine with that but make sure you leave a voice mail on your Ma's cell, okay?"

" _Thank. Gotta go, love you, bye,_ " he said in one breath and hung up. He had me wrapped around his pinky.

The thought of him being alone at the house scared me because we still had no idea where Carlisle was. It was as if the fucker had disappeared off the face of the Earth. At one point, we even thought of placing a Silver Alert claiming that he had Alzheimer's. Emmett was joking of course when he suggested the idea but I was seriously thinking about it. There were many people all over America and several organizations that helped find 'sick' people. I decided to send Will a text reminding him of the one rule he was never to break.

**Lock the door, don't open it before looking through the peep hole and do** _not_ **leave the house unless there is an adult with you! Have your cell with you and don't burn the place down. Love you!**

Ten minutes later, he responded saying that his friends had arrived. Everything clicked instantly. They must have been there when he'd called me. Julie's house was thirty minutes away from Bella's and Jason was spending the week with his father, which was an hour away. I smiled and dialed his number.

"You little shit!" I laughed. "They were there all along, weren't they?"

" _I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about,_ " Will said and I heard giggles.

"Sure you don't, kiddo. Be careful okay? If you need me, I'm only ten minutes away."

" _Got it,_ " he said and ended the call.

Around one p.m., I ordered a couple of pizzas, along with soft drinks and ice-cream and had them delivered to Bella's home. Marcus snickered at me as I ordered and I flipped him off. Thirty minutes later, my son called me back proclaiming me the best dad in the whole world.

Ma passed by the station on her way home, and decided to stop to bring me lunch. Poor Rose could barely walk but she made it from the car and into the station in five minutes. Man, I loved teasing her. She would flip me off and then laugh. Ma was over the moon with her 'grandbabies'. She laughed, was carefree and spoiled all of us rotten. It seemed that the move here did her good. Cutting all ties with Forks helped her more than anything. She'd stopped crying and became fierce. She decided that once everything was settled, she would start working and do what she loved the most: bake.

Even though she had a degree in Interior Design, Ma would do what her heart desired. She didn't want to touch a dime from Carlisle's money until the divorce was official and so she sold a condo in Seattle that she'd owned for years. All she had to do was to find an establishment to buy here and start looking for equipment. She even came up with a name: Sweet Heaven. While we were throwing ideas around, she mentioned the cupcake recipes she'd created based on our preferences and our names. For instance, Bella's was a peanut butter and jelly cupcake. What made it special? The full strawberry inside of it.

When she got back from Forks, we had a heart-to- heart discussion. We sat down and talked about her reason for going back to Forks so suddenly. It wasn't about the shelter… that shit was settled right before she left. She went there to find Carlisle. After the incident with the bank, Ma thought about it and realized that Carlisle had to do something with it. A couple of years ago, they had purchased a small cabin, two hours drive from Forks. That fucker had been sending her e-mails ever since she came to live with me. In one of them, he had mentioned that he would be visiting the cabin for a few days.

True to his words for once, Ma found him there. She asked him the reason he paid off Bella's loan and the asshole didn't even deny it. The only reason he gave her was because "it was the right thing to do." Ma almost ripped him to pieces. She told him that the right thing should've been done thirteen years ago when his father acted to break us apart. The right thing to do was to stick up for his family and not do what that spiteful abomination wanted. She told him to leave the cabin while he had time because she was telling Charlie about it, and Charlie had sworn that the next time Carlisle messed with his family, he would fuck him up once and for all.

The ringing of my phone took me out of my thoughts. It was Bella. Suddenly I felt like a teenager who was crushing for the very first time. A primal feeling of want and need ran through me as I heard her voice greet me.

"Hey," I said.

" _Am I catching you at a bad time?_ " she asked.

"I'll always have time for you no matter what, Bells," I grinned. "How's work?"

" _Surprisingly, very calm. One surgery and some minor injuries only. I talked to Will before I called you. Thank you._ "

"No need to thank me for anything. It was nothing. Anyway, since you called, what time are you getting off from work? I want to come and see you guys."

There was a pause. " _That would be wonderful, Edward. There's only one th…_ " she started and stopped abruptly when her pager went off. " _Crap. Edward, I'll call you back. I'm needed in the ER._ "

"No problem. Talk to you when I get home," I said and ended the call.

I couldn't wait for her to be mine again. God, how I'd longed to feel every inch of her: to wake up in the morning and have her face be the first thing I saw. I closed my eyes and sighed wistfully. Our lives were going to change forever in a matter of hours. Will was going to be ecstatic. I, on the other hand, would become a permanent resident in seventh heaven. Once I told her my plans and we found our house, I'd start preparations to sell my condo. It was in a good neighborhood so it could cover a quarter of the price of the new house, if not almost half of it. We could combine our furniture from both apartments in the near term and little by little we would buy new stuff.

And the list went on and on.

I heard someone clearing his throat and I looked up. Marcus was standing in front of me smirking. He looked at his watch. "Go get your girl, Cullen." He didn't have to say it twice.

****-Ж-****

I left my apartment a little before 6 p.m. Needless to say, I was a little nervous. Why? I had no idea. Trying to calm myself, I took the long route to her house, making a brief stop at Starbucks to get her favorite drink and also the ice cream she loved. The rest of the drive was pretty quick because soon I had parked my truck around the corner from her building.

"Come on, man," I said to myself. "You can do this."

I smoothed my clothing, grabbed the things I bought and went in. Once I reached her floor, I stood in front of the door for about five minutes before I found the nerve to go inside.

"Hey guys, it's me," I called as I went to the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer.

"You're not allowed to skip a day and not show up before going to work," Will said strictly as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled and twisted my body so I could hug him back.

"Sorry but I kind of overslept this morning," I said as I kissed his head. "Won't happen again."

"Good to know," he said and released me.

We went to the living room and sat on the couch. "Where's your Ma?"

He narrowed his eyes and glared at Bella's bedroom door. "My Ma is with your Ma in her bedroom doing God knows what. When I tried to go in before, Nana practically threw me out of the room and told me I was not allowed in there," he mumbled. _Ma was here?_ "Nana arrived when Ma did and she was holding many bags. She nearly throttled me when I tried to help her with a bag. Both of them ran in the bedroom and haven't come out yet."

"A bag?" I asked.

"Yeah, a pink one with stripes on it. It had a name printed with gold or silver letters; Vanessa or something like that," he said and I nearly choked. Will turned on the TV and started flipping channels. "Girls!" he mumbled.

What the hell was my Ma doing in Bella's room with a bag from Victoria Secret? Fuck it! I got up, grabbed the coffee and knocked on Bella's door.

"Go away, William Anthony," Ma said.

"Last time I checked, I was Edward Anthony, Ma," I chuckled.

"The same goes for you," she said.

"I need to give something to Bells," I fired back.

"Dare to open that door and you're in big trouble. Just because you're thirty-one doesn't mean I can't put you over my knee!"

Jesus! What the fuck was going on in there?

"I got Bella some coffee and it's getting cold. Now, can you let me in so I could give it to her in person please?" I wanted to know what was going on in there, damn it!

Ma unlocked the door and opened it just enough to see her. She grabbed the coffee from my hands and narrowed her eyes slightly. "Nice try, son. Doesn't work on me though. It's a rare occasion when the apprentice surpasses the master," she smirked and shut the door. I growled mentally at the fucking door, marched to the living room and sank down on the couch.

"So what did you guys watch today? Anything good?" I asked Will.

"Well Julie hadn't seen 'City of Angels', so we watched it and then we watched the 'Boat Trip'," he answered. "Jason and I were supposed to help the girls with Calculus but we decided against it. It's Spring Break, after all."

"That's good but I want you focused on school. I'm not asking you to become a nerd or anything but I want you to be fully prepared."

"In case you haven't noticed Dad, I _am_ a nerd. I don't have to wear glasses or have Star Wars bedspreads to be one," he joked.

"Hey! Show some respect for my childhood bedding. They were flannel and comfy," I fired back playfully. "Don't think for a sec that I don't know your obsession for a certain Disney couple that adorned your bedroom walls for years." His cheeks flushed with the 'Beauty and the Beast' reference. I smirked at him and he narrowed his eyes ever so slightly.

"Just so you know, there _is_ a moral lesson behind that movie. What's the moral to Star Wars?"

"Touché," I laughed.

"I'm gonna grab a coke. Want something?" he asked. I looked at my watch. It was already seven p.m. A beer could help me with 'the talk'.

"Sure. Is there any beer?"

"Nana stocked the fridge today and bought some Guinness. She said you'd need one today," he said as he walked to the kitchen.

' _She said what? What was wrong with her?_ ' I thought to myself.

Will handed me the beer and I took the opportunity to go and have a cigarette on the balcony. Will followed after me.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, buddy," I said and turned to look at him.

"How did you know that you loved Mom?" he asked.

_It had been raining for a number of days. The Police put out an alert of possible flooding so everything was shut, even school. Mom and Dad were in Seattle for a medical conference and despite the fact that Mom wanted to come back, they weren't able to until it was all clear. Fortunately for us, we weren't alone. Uncle J was visiting, along with Masen and Ralf. Uncle J knew how much Mom hated living us all alone in times like this._

_Bella and Charlie were stuck at the reservation. Rachel was visiting with her new baby boy and Billy thought that it would be a nice surprise for Rachel to see Bells. They had been friends all of their lives even though Rachel was four years older than her._

_As a result, I was tremendously bored. Now don't get me wrong because I love my cousins and brother. But I wanted her- my best friend, protector, savior, angel. Choose whichever description fit. I sat at my piano and practiced her lullaby. I had been trying to perfect it for the past four months. This would be her sweet sixteen birthday present from me… along with the infinity necklace I got her. Mom helped me pick it up from Port Angeles. She kept teasing me all day about it, telling me what a beautiful couple we would make. I tried to explain her that nothing like that was going on but she never understood it._

_The doorbell rang and so I got up to answer it since I knew none of them would. Had it been anything related to food, the three oafs would have demolished the house to get it. When I opened the door, my jaw practically hit the floor. Bella was standing in front of me, dripping wet from head to toe, a huge smile plastered on her beautiful face._

" _Are you insane?" I chastised. "What are you doing in the rain?" I asked, literally dragging her into the house and up to my room._

" _I missed you and wanted to see you. Jake offered to go to Paul's house and bring the casserole his Mom had made and I went with him. With my excellent skills of persuasion – - I threatened to beat the shit out of him - I managed to get him to bring me here. The ground was too wet for the Rabbit to drive up the private road so I told him to leave me on the main road. And now here I am," she said and sneezed loudly._

_My heart soared at her confession. She jeopardized her health to see me. She was the greatest friend a person could ever dream of having. I quickly ordered her to get in the shower, and when she complied, I left her a set of flannel pj's Mom bought for me a while ago. I rushed to the kitchen and made her some tea and scooped up the few cookies I manage to save from Emmett's clutches. The jerk knew that Bella loved Mom's chocolate chip and strawberry cookies and yet he wanted to eat them all because he was still a 'growing boy'. I decided that it would be wise to get the cold medicine as well. It would make her sleepy after she took it but it would prevent her from catching the flu._

_Wanting to give her a few extra minutes to dress and get comfortable, I picked out a couple of her favorites movies for us to watch. Making sure her cup was still hot, I picked up the tray and went to my room. Bella was fast asleep in my bed, clutching my pillow in her fist. Her face was so serene and beautiful. Her full pink lips were slightly parted and I stared at them. A small tingly feeling erupted in my stomach and I was surprised because I'd never felt anything like that._

_I had no idea how long I sat next to her and watched her sleep. She would mumble a couple of incomprehensible things and nothing else. It was late and as I made my way to lie down on my couch, I heard her loud and clear._

" _Edward," she sighed._

_At first I thought she'd woken up and I went back to her only to see that she was still sleeping. She was dreaming about me?_

" _My sweet Edward," she said and smiled. "…love you"_

"Sometimes boys that age are naïve," I chuckled. "Scratch that. They're always naïve. Those five simple words changed everything for me," I said, staring into his eyes.

"What about blushing, butterflies in your stomach, giggles and burns?" he asked in a whisper.

"What burns?" I asked confused.

"Like when you accidentally touch her hand or cheek."

"I had those too," I sighed wistfully. He remained silent for a few seconds.

"Daddy?"

Fuck, I will never get tired hearing him calling me that. "Mmhmm?"

"Do you still feel it?" he asked and lifted his head to look at me.

I smiled and took him in my arms hugging the crap out of him. "I never stopped feeling it even when she was away, son. I still felt it when it was only a faint memory."

We separated just as Ma appeared in the living room. When our eyes met, she gave us her dangerously sweet smile. She was up to something.

"There are my boys," she said and sat on the couch, dragging us both with her. "Bella will be out in a minute," she continued and the door bell suddenly rang. Ma looked at the wall clock. "Right on time," she said and went to answer the door.

"Dr. Singer," she said politely. "Come inside. Bella will be out shortly."

By the time he dared to look at me, I was seething. That fucker was dressed to the nines and held a small bouquet of roses. What the fuck was he doing here? How did Ma know him? It was crystal clear that they'd met before.

"Mrs. Cullen, always a pleasure to see you. I need to apologize again for leaving our lunch so abruptly the other day," he said and kissed her hand.

"What the heck is he doing here?" Will whispered as he glared at the fucker.

"I don't know," I hissed lowly.

"Don't worry at all," Ma smiled warmly. "Having been a doctor's wife for more than thirty years, I know the importance of being called in."

He smiled at her and the turned his toward Will and me. "How are you William? It's good to see you again. Edward," he said and nodded.

"Whatever," Will said, continuing to glare at him. In an attempt to stop myself from pouncing, I grabbed Will's shoulder in a death grip. He was as tense as I was.

I was instantly alert when I heard the sound of heels on the hardwood floor. I snapped my head up and stopped breathing. A vision was walking toward me and all I could do was stand there and gape like a goddamned asshole.

Bella was wearing a light purple floor length silk dress. Her steps halted for a second and then she resumed walking. She stopped in front of me and smiled.

"Thanks for the coffee." I was too stunned to say a word. A whirlwind of emotions were holding me back: anger, hurt, love, passion, possessiveness.

' _Please don't leave!_ ' was all my mind screamed, hoping she'd be able to understand.

"Ma, can I talk to you for a sec?" Will asked.

Bella smiled at him and shook her head. "As much as I want to, baby, I can't. We'll be late for the gala."

"Family's first!" he whispered-yelled.

' _Stay!_ '

Her eyes were sad for a second before she sighed and ran her hand through his hair. "Your Dad is here. Whatever you need I'm sure he'll be more than willing to help you."

' _Don't snap! Don't fucking snap! Stay!_ '

My heart was an inch from coming out of my chest as she started walking toward that motherfucker.

' _No! Please don't! I love you! I love you! Stay!_ '

"There are no words to describe the sight before me," he said breathlessly.

As she leaned into his arms, I noticed the back of her dress or the lack of it. He whispered something in her ear and ran his soon to-be-ripped-off hand over her shoulder, resting it on her lower back, where the dress ended.

"Christ! Nana, go and zip her up! Her whole back is full frontal!" Will whispered angrily. Ma laughed and patted the top of his head as if my kid was a damn dog.

"She _is_ zipped up, darling." I glared at her and she cocked her head to the side. "Anything you want to say, sweetheart?"

' _Et tu, Brute?_ '

I ignored her and turned to look at Bella. Both of them were watching us: Bella, as if she was expecting something, and the fucker smiling cockily at me. He had his fucking arm wrapped around her waist, making lazy circles with his thumb over her stomach. That was when the last ounce of patience abandoned me.

"Figglio di puttana!' I sneered.

"My sentiments exactly!" William agreed.

I tried to take a step but something was holding me back. I looked over my shoulder and saw Ma right behind, holding me by the belt loops of my jeans, smirking at me.

"Come on, gorgeous," the fucker said and I swear if looks could kill he would've been in shreds by now. "Let's go and make everyone eat their hearts out with jealousy. After all, I have the most beautiful creature made by my side," he said arrogantly as he brushed Bella's cheekbone with the back of his hand.

"Oh, shut it, you," Bella giggled and blushed. "Esme, thank you. Baby, be good for Nana and don't wait up," she finished without saying a word to me. They were gone by the time I blinked.

' _Come back! I love you!_ '

' _What the fuck are you doing? Go after her!_ ' every cell in my body screamed but I couldn't move.

"Bella," I said and let out a gust of air. I was suffocating. I couldn't breath. My chest started heaving and weighed a ton at the same time. I started tugging at the neckline of my t-shirt to help me breath. "C-can't breathe. Can't. Breathe!" I said between gasps and kneeled on the floor.

"Daddy!" Will yelled and came to my side. "You're scaring me… please. Nana, do something!" he cried.

Ma paced toward the window looked outside for a second and opened it. Then she walked toward us and took a paper bag out of her pants pocket, handing it to me. "Breathe into the bag," she said calmly as she sat on the couch, crossed her legs and looked at her nails.

Even though it was mere minutes after Bella left, it felt as if it was decades. My breathing had regulated back to normal but I just sat there on the floor, holding my head in my hands.

"Why?" Will growled. "Why would you do something like that, Nana?"

"Do what, sweetie?" Ma asked innocently. I whipped my head up to look at her and waited for the answer.

"Instead of helping Dad to get her back, you do what? You help her hook up with that… that… fruitcake!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"You lower your voice and watch your mouth, young man," she said as she stood up. "Your mother gave her life to raise you, never did a thing for herself apart from working endless hours to provide you with everything you needed. She needs to feel like a human again and not a work machine! Don't you dare say anything to her when she gets back because, for your information, she didn't to _want_ to go. I was the one who had to talk her into going and having some fun!"

"So?" Will asked.

"You're too young to understand," Ma sighed.

"Young? I may be _young_ but I know what I see. Ma loves my Dad. Instead of helping me get them back together as I've been trying to do for _months,_ you go behind my back and set her up with a man you has the hots for her! Who does that? You know how hard Dad's been struggling to get past all that shit your husband put him through! You know how hard it is for him to do it!" he barked.

"You want to play adult?" Ma asked him furiously. "Let's play then. Do you know that your mother is actually a woman? That she wants to be treated as one for once and not just as a full-time mom 24/7?"

As I listened to her, my mind went back to all the things Garrett had told me…

_We should never take anything for granted. People's emotions change whether we like it or not. Patience is a sneaky little thing and evaporates without realizing it. She has needs and I'm not talking the physical ones…_

_Don't let this fear rule your life, Edward. Fight it._

And that fucking dream…

_Talk to her, Edward, before it's too late…_

"Do you have any idea how she feels to be next to your father and not be able to be with him completely? Have you ever heard her crying?" she yelled.

"I have lived with that for thirteen years!" he snapped.

"Enough," was all I could say. "Stop fighting. This is my fault," I said and got up, unstably. "People warned me to do something and I did nothing. Now it's too late," I whispered. I wasn't going to cry! Not in front of my son.

"No it's not. She loves you! I know she does. We'll get her back," he cried frantically. "I'll help you. No one is allowed to call dibs on my Ma when my Dad is around!"

I gave him a small smile and kissed his forehead. "It's okay, Will."

"No it isn't!" He got up and grabbed the phone to call her, but Ma grabbed it out of his hand.

"You're not calling her," she stated.

Will clenched his fists at his sides and took a deep breath. "Give me the phone, Nana," he demanded.

"No," she said and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Daddy," he called and narrowed his eyes at Ma. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"No!"

"Yes," I said at the same time Ma spoke.

"Awesome. Let me get my things," he said determinedly and left the room.

When I heard his bedroom close, I lowered my head in my hands. "Fuck!" I gasped.

"Oh, Edward!" Ma said sadly and sat next to me, wrapping her hand around my shoulder. Was she fucking bipolar or what?

"If you value my sanity, don't touch me!" I said calmly but I was sure she was able to see that I was anything but calm.

Silently, she got up and went into Will's room to help him pack his things. What the fuck was I gonna do now? How would I fix it? Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Had that weasel been worming his way into her heart while I was trying to find a way back? Had I lost her?

' _Yes, motherfucker, as a matter of fact you have, while you were bitching all the time about how you weren't ready that meat suit worked to stake his claim. Now eat his dust, you pussy!_ '

"Dad?" I heard Will call. I looked up and saw him standing in front of me. The anger was long gone and a shit-eating grin was on his face. "I'm gonna stay here with Nana. I feel bad for the way I spoke to her when all she did was say truthful things. So if you're okay, we can hang out another day?"

What the fuck did she tell him? Or promise him? "Sure thing buddy."

"Good night and I love you!" he called and he actually _skipped_ on his way back to his room.

"What did you say to him?" I hissed.

Ma smirked. "Good night, baby," she said and pushed me out of the apartment.

I got into the monster and took off. As I drove, her image was stuck in my head. She was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen and now there was nothing I could do. The night hadn't progressed as I'd expected. The plan was simple: I would go there, take her to the roof of her building and talk to her. I would have spilled the very last bit of my fucking soul. I would have told her I loved her and that I wanted us to live together and be a complete family. I would have shown her the pictures of the houses I had looked up and thought she might have liked. Garrett had warned me and what did I do? Absolutely nothing. I had lost her right under my nose and fuck me if it didn't hurt like a motherfucking bitch!

****-Ж-****

An hour later, I sat on my couch looking at the ceiling. I wanted to cry, yell, break things but I stayed still. The only thing I could think of was Bella wrapped up in that snake's arms. I needed someone to talk to. I could've easily called Emmett but I didn't. Rose had been having a hard time with being alone since it wasn't easy for her to move around. I could call Charlie but I knew that it would only result in him jumping on the next flight to come here and probably rip his daughter a new one.

' _Why would he, fucker? No father would want his child to wait for someone who didn't have the guts to claim what was his!_ '

I took off my t-shirt and opened the window for a minute. I needed some air. Then I picked the phone and dialed the only person I knew that would be available to me.

" _Garr_ …"

I didn't give him a chance to continue. "I lost her."

" _Edward?_ " Garrett asked.

"It's me," I said as a poured some scotch in a glass. "I lost her, Garrett. I went to talk to her today, only to find her all dressed up and ready to leave with another fucker!" I hissed.

" _Edward, calm down,_ " he started. " _I understand that this is difficult for you but being angry won't help you. Now tell me what's going on._ "

I told him everything. About the dream I had, and how I decided to tell her my feelings at last. Hell, I even told him all the things I'd planned on confessing to her. "Now I've got nothing and I've no idea what to do. Fuck, Garrett, what should I do? Should go there and drag her out? Wait until tomorrow to talk to her?"

" _I told you something like this was bound to happen, Edward, and this is not your shrink talking. I think of you more like a friend. You will do nothing for the time being,_ " he said. I took out my cigarettes and noticed that there was an envelope wrapped around the packaging. How the fuck did it get in there? " _Tomorrow I think I have an opening around noon. I'll have Katie call and confirm. You stay at home and do nothing, okay?_ "

"Fine," I said and shut the phone.

I turned the envelope over and I saw that it was addressed to me. I would have known her writing anywhere. She had written me a letter; I had no idea what this meant and frankly it scared the shit out of me. I took a gulp of the scotch and then opened the envelope with shaky hands.

_**Angel,** _

_**You have no idea of the things I want to share with you, the things I had to bury away all these years. I don't know if by the end of this letter, I'll manage to do that but I hope at least to be able to give you some small insight. This is not a letter in order to try to get you back or make you feel sorry (for whatever reason). In truth, I wish this wasn't necessary at all. This is an era in my life that I want to erase from my memory.** _

_**I started writing this letter the day you asked me to tell you how I coped, but to be honest I didn't know if it'd ever reach your eyes. I stalled for days and finally I decided that it was time. Maybe that's what we both need to move forward. Maybe I needed a small confidence boost to relate the darkest moments of my life to you. Your mother managed to give me that.** _

I snorted. "Sure she did," I said to myself. "You're the one having fun with that fuckface now, aren't you?"

' _She's talking about someone encouraging her to write this shit, you asshole!_ ' my inner voice hollered. ' _Shut up and keep going!_ '

_**When I woke up** _ **that** _**day, I never thought that it'd be the day that we'd be ripped apart. It just seemed like any other day: rainy Forks, mud all around and the scent of grass everywhere. We were supposed to have breakfast and then go to Port Angeles to buy supplies for college. Normal things teenage couples did. We were supposed to meet up with Angie and Ben, do you remember? Even though you weren't comfortable at the time around others, you knew I was sad that Angie was leaving and I wouldn't be able to spend time with her anymore, so you asked me to bring them along.** _

" _Baby, why don't you tell Angela and Benjamin to join us tomorrow?" I asked her hoping internally that she would say no. It scared me to interact with people that I didn't know well but I would do anything for my Bella._

_She gasped as her eyes widened. "You'd do that for me?"_

" _I'd do anything for you, Bells, you know that," I said sincerely and ran my thumb along her bottom lip._

_A blinding smile appeared on her face and my heart soared. I loved watching her smile. She threw herself at me and started kissing me all over my face._

" _I love you," kiss "I love you," kiss "I love you!"_

" _I love you too, sweet girl," I replied. "More than anything."_

" _You're so getting lucky later," she said, crushing her lips upon mine._

_**As soon as I saw them on my porch, I realized that their visit wasn't for social reasons. The way they marched into the house was full of arrogance and superiority. As they started talking, all I wanted to do was call you. I needed to hear your voice to give me courage. I wanted you there with me but I knew that couldn't happen. At first, I couldn't understand the meaning of it all. Carlisle was talking but at the same time he wasn't. What struck me the most was that I could see he was uncomfortable with something. Don't think that I'm trying to make excuses for him because I'm not. Whether he wanted to do it or not, the bottom line is that he did and we lost so damn much.** _

_**After I told Charlie what happened, I went to Jacob's house. I knew that after the incident on his birthday, it would be the last place you would think of looking for me. When I got there Leah told me that they'd gone to see Rachel. She saw the state I was in and offered to keep me company until Charlie came to pick me up. I was in no condition to drive. I could barely breathe and see in front of me. I declined politely and she left me alone. Instantly, I lost it; I started crying, screaming my lungs out. The pain ripped me apart and I didn't have the strength to fight it. Even though I thought I was doing the right thing for you and Charlie, I let it consume me in way I couldn't comprehend.** _

_**I have no idea how long I stayed there. Believe it or not, somewhere along the line Charlie had arrived, gathered me into his arms and I didn't even notice. The worse part was when you started showing up at my house. I had never experienced anything as heart-wrenching as hearing you scream for me. I wanted to come to you, I truly did. But I couldn't, not when I was warned.** _

_**I couldn't function for days; I was catatonic for about a week after I arrived in Phoenix. Renee was gone for days at a time, so Alice was the one that brought me back to life. I had hidden everything of yours I brought with me. Alice took it all out one day and started yelling at me about how you wouldn't want that for me. That I left so you could have the life you were supposed to have as much as it killed me. I believed her, Edward. I had to and that was the only thing that helped me get through this: that you would be okay… If only I knew.** _

_**Renee was never able to understand the extent of my feelings for you. She only saw the shell I became and laughed off my pain as an 'exaggeration'. She never believed that two souls could be linked the way ours were, that a person could love unconditionally, give everything he or she had to his/her other half. Meanwhile, I couldn't understand her perspective. A person should never question love. No matter what we do, no matter where we are, love always surrounds us.** _

_**When I found out I was pregnant with our son, it gave a new purpose to my life. I knew that I wasn't alone anymore; I was now accountable not only for myself for but also the life we'd created. The first time I heard his heart, I cried for hours but not from happiness. It was from sorrow and regret for going through this alone, for not having you by my side. When I first felt him, it killed me. One thing I never told you is that I suffered from panic attacks throughout the whole pregnancy. When I saw or experienced something new that I knew you deserved to experience as well, it overwhelmed me. Once the doctor told me that there was a slight risk to Will's life, I changed. I had to.** _

_**After he was born, my whole life changed completely. The sadness never left me but I had him to hold on to. He was the only link I had with you, an eternal one, one that could never break. Every time I looked into his eyes, I saw you, the love of my life, an angel that gave me a reason to live the best I could away from you.** _

_**I always missed you, even when we were together. I still miss you, every second of the day, even when you're standing inches away from me. I miss your touch, your lips, the way I listened to your heart beat. I miss you so much. It tears me apart to be away from you, but I'm willing to give you the space you need.** _ _**We may be apart but know that our love will never die… I see it every day in our little miracle…** _

_**I will wait patiently until you decide to come back to me, even though you weren't the one who left.** _

_**I love you…** _

Reading the last word on the letter, I sighed. The pain in my chest was unbearable and my mind was dominated only with one sentence…

_We may be apart but know that our love will never die… I see it every day, in our little miracle…_

I poured some more scotch in my glass and sat in front of the window, gazing at the lights outside in the dark. I had asked her to tell me how it felt being away from me and now I knew. It was as violent as mine was- it was as if our worlds just stopped being. I didn't have anything apart from my memories. She had constant reminders: photographs, videos…our son.

"I need you," I said to no one. "I can't lose you now. Not after all the things we've been through. Please."

Suddenly time stopped. I could feel her presence. I didn't have to turn around to know that she was behind me. My heart was beating uncontrollably. What was she doing here? When did she come?

"I need you too," she said.

My whole body went rigid. Those four words made it even worse.

"Look at me," she whispered. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I turned and the first thing I noticed was that she was wearing one of my PD shirts and nothing else. It was huge on her. No fancy dress, no heels, no make up but most of all no fruitcake.

"How long have you been here?" I asked with a hoarse voice.

"Since I left home."

"Didn't you have to be somewhere?"

"I already am," she responded as she walked toward me. She traced my shot gun scar with her fingers and I shivered. She stood on her toes and kissed it ever so lightly. "Where I was always supposed to be… with the only man I was ever destined for," she finished and kissed my jaw.

I couldn't resist anymore. I didn't want to. I crashed my lips to hers and the whole world stopped. The kiss wasn't tender. It was full of my animalistic need to consume her. I had kissed her lips thousands of times but the intensity of this one was like no other. It was an explosion of emotions that I never knew a kiss could contain. It was fire and it burned us rapidly. I knew she felt it too. She shuddered in my arms and pressed her body closer to mine. I deepened the kiss and when I felt her tongue against mine, matching my need, I moaned loudly. I picked her up in a swift move and pinned her against the window. My hands roamed her body and tried to bring her closer to me at the same time.

"Please," she gasped as she tried to breathe.

I pulled her even closer and kissed her again. Her hands tugged on my hair as she moaned loudly in my mouth. She pulled back to catch her breath and I used that opportunity to remove offending piece of clothing that was separating our bodies.

"Fucking gorgeous," I hissed and attacked her neck, licking and nibbling. She tilted her head to the side to give me more access and I gladly took advantage of that. I took her ear lobe in my mouth and bit it hard enough to make her shiver and moan my name.

"You're my fucking life," I said as I ran my nose along her jaw. Our eyes locked as I grazed her upper lip with the tip of my tongue. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she whimpered. "Hush," I said trying to control our emotions as best as I could.

"I love you," she whispered and kissed me. "I've waited this moment for so long. Every time I closed my eyes, I would dream of us getting back together, body and soul, loving each other as we were meant to."

With her still wrapped around me, I walked us to my bedroom, then placed her gently on my bed. I took off my clothes, leaving only my boxer briefs, and lowered myself on her, resting on my elbows to avoid crushing her with my weight. She was so precious to me and I was such a fool to deny her for so long. I took her face in my hands and kissed her gently.

"How can a man live without his own heart and soul for so long?" I asked. "I have missed you so much, it hurt."

She wrapped her legs around my hips and pushed me forward. My skin burned even though there was still fabric between us. "I want to make love to you," I whispered against her lips. "I want us to feel whole again," I continued down her body and kissed the spot right above her heart. "I want us to start living again, as one, like we used to be," I finished and kissed her skin right above her womb.

"Edward," she gasped. "Please."

I slowly removed her underwear, kissing her thighs at the same time. Once it was gone, I lightly licked my way back up and stopped briefly in front of her pussy. Her legs were trembling and I looked up to see her face. Her eyes were hooded with lust. I lowered my face to her core and placed a light kiss right above her clit. Bella gasped and threw her head back on the pillow with force. Her chest was heaving and I was close to diving in to eat her with raw abandon. I closed my eyes for a second to calm myself. I wanted this to be special for us both.

I slowly and lightly kissed the inside of her thighs to tame the beast inside of me. When I felt calm enough, I turned my mouth to her sweet nub. I made a slow circle with the tip of my tongue and then placed a small kiss on it.

"Oh my God," Bella moaned and I smiled. I knew she loved this. I kept torturing her slowly until she couldn't handle it anymore. She grabbed at my shoulders, tugging me up to her body. "Please, I need you. Please, please," she cried.

In the blink of an eye, my boxers were on the floor and I was on top of her again. I moved my hips slightly and my cock was flush against her pussy. As I ground myself against her, we both moaned and I held her with trembling hands, kissing every inch of her beautiful face. Bella ran her hands along my spine, making me hiss from the contact. She was so wet and I had no idea how I managed to hold back. Her nipples were hard as they moved across my chest. I lowered my head, took one of them in my mouth and bit it lightly as my fingers played with the other. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to have her.

Kissing her lips once more, I lined myself at her entrance and pushed slowly inside. Her wetness made it somewhat easier to slide into her but damn she was so tight. She moaned, bit her lip and shut her eyes. She must have felt uncomfortable. It had been a long time for her. I started to withdraw, but she held me tightly to her.

"Don't," she gasped and opened her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek and she smiled. "Just give me a moment to get used to you again."

"Okay, baby," I said, kissing her tear away.

I tangled my fingers into her hair and rested my lips at the crook of her neck. This was paradise… it was home and I had missed it so much. The serenity of her love ripped through me and I never, ever, wanted to be without it again. I have no idea how I managed to live without her all these years and only one thing was sure. I'd die if she ever left again, literally and figuratively. She was my lifeline, the air in my lungs, the very fucking beat of my heart. My eyes started to prickle with tears.

Bella slowly bucked her hips against mine, signaling for me to move. I closed my eyes and started moving in and out of her slowly and sensually. I wanted this to last forever. I kissed her lips tenderly and rested my forehead against hers. The fire inside of me was getting bigger by the second and I knew that I wouldn't last long.

"You're the most important person in my life," I choked. She rested her hand on my cheek and brushed away the tears I didn't know were there. "I-I can't live without you, not anymore," I continued and kissed her. "Please, please, I beg of you. D-don't leave me… ever again," I cried.

"Never," she said and kissed the corner of my mouth. Her breath got faster and I felt her inside squeeze me. She was close. Maintaining the slow pace, I moved more forcefully. "Ed- Edward," she gasped, arching her back as she climaxed around me. That was all I needed. I crushed my lips to hers and with three final thrusts, I came hard inside her.

As I came down off my own orgasm, I kissed her slowly. My Bella, my love… my everything. I wanted to tell her so much but only one thought prevailed- the only thing I needed her to know. Still inside of her, I lifted my head and looked at her beautiful brown eyes that sparkled with love and tears.

"I love you…" I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation
> 
> Figglio di puttana: son of a bitch


	19. Unexpected Circumstances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt I was with Bella; I'd told her that I loved her and we made love. It was pure heaven. I didn't want to open my eyes for fear of losing this wonderful image in my head but I did. And when I did, I found the most mesmerizing pair of brown eyes staring right at me. I gasped as I realized that it wasn't a dream; it really happened. She was here with me, in my bed, naked.

I needed her… right there and then.

I crushed my lips to hers and kissed her frantically. I laced her fingers with mine and pinned them above her head. She wrapped her legs around my hips, and with a swift move of her hips sheathed me inside of her. No foreplay, no nothing.

"Fuck!" I hissed and she moaned loudly. I stared into her eyes and started moving slowly at first, but then I picked up the pace. "I can't get enough of you," I said and sucked her neck hard.

"Likewise," she gasped and arched her back. "God, I can feel every inch of you."

I groaned and moved faster. "What are you doing to me?"

Suddenly, Bella tensed and her eyes went wide. "Edward, someone's here," she whispered frantically.

"Baby," I moaned and shifted my hips a bit causing _her_ to hiss now. "No one is here."

"Dad!"

I froze.

"Dad! Wake up! We have a huge problem!" William barked and I heard something break. "Crap!"

"Shit!" I hurried. I quickly got up and pulled on my sweatpants. In her attempt to try to get up, Bella stumbled on the bed sheet and landed on her knee.

"Ow!" she cried.

"Dad?" Will said and I heard his footsteps come closer. I quickly locked the door.

"Oh my God!" she whispered. "Edward he can't see me like this."

"Why is the door locked?" Will asked as he tried again to open it.

"I'll be out there in a sec, Will," I said as calmly as possible. "I was about to get into the shower."

"Well hurry up!" he snapped.

"Stay here and I'll talk to him," I said and kissed her chastely. "I love you."

Her face beamed and she took out a T-shirt from my dresser to wear. When I went to the living room, Will was pacing like a madman, rubbing his forehead and muttering "shit" repeatedly.

"Good morning, son," I said.

"It is _not_ a good morning," he snarled.

"O-kay… Where's Nana?"

"Sleeping at home," he said, sinking down on the couch and tugging furiously his hair.

"Will, what have I told you abo…"

"Ma didn't come home last night!" he cried angrily. "When I was getting ready to come with you, Nana told me that she wasn't going to the party and that she would go out with Allie. Women bonding crap," he continued. "I was waiting for her and fell asleep. I woke up an hour ago and saw that she hadn't come back, so I called Uncle Jasper and asked him if I could talk to Ma because her phone was switched off and he told me that she wasn't there!"

I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent my smile. He was too cute when he was frustrated. His eyes were full of tears, ready to spill and I didn't have the heart to continue torturing him. "Will…"

"Why would Nana lie? Why didn't she come home? That asshole is so dead when I'll see him. Taking adv…" he stopped abruptly, paled and then his face started to redden. He kneeled to pick up something. He had his back turned so I couldn't see what he was holding.

"Dad?" he said and started heaving. "What's this?" He turned around and I saw what he was holding.

Bella's bra. Shit! This was getting out of hand.

"I…er… \ why don't you sit down?" I asked.

"How could you?" he yelled. "You lied to me! You told me you loved her and that there was no other for you. Where is she? Where are you hiding her?" He spun around and I caught him right before he started heading to the bedroom.

"Will, calm down, and let me talk," I said, holding him steady by his shoulders.

"No! I want to see her and tell her exactly what a home-wrecker she is!"

Bella came outside with a shit-eating grin on her face. She winked at me as if she wanted me to play along with the minor drama that was taking place. Little tease…

"She isn't a home-wrecker son," I said seriously. "She is a wonderful woman, wise, mature, kind and she loves me. She's special to me, and I'd really like for you to accept her."

"Never!" he spat. "And if she's mature, then why isn't she here to face the music, huh? Mature, my ass! I hate you!"

Now, if he'd said that under other circumstances, I would've had a heart attack. I knew he didn't mean it though; he was just angry. Then he started crying and it broke my heart.

"Y-you w-were s-suppos-sed to get b-back together. B-be a f-family," he sobbed on my chest. Bella frowned and I knew that the teasing was over.

I lifted his head to look at him and he hiccuped in return. I smiled. "Turn around."

He did as told, looked briefly at Bella and then turned back to me. Once he realized who it was, his eyes widened and he gasped loudly as he turned around again. "Ma!" he called, as he ran over and hugged her. Bella smiled as she enveloped him in her arms. She kissed his forehead, since she couldn't reach the top of his head anymore and closed her eyes.

"Both of you suck!" he sniffled.

"I'm sorry, little man," Bella said. "Had I known that you would react like that, we wouldn't have teased you."

"Dad?" Will called.

"Yes?"

"My back is cold. Make me warm," he commanded.

Within an instant, I approached them and wrapped my arms around Bella, trapping Will between us. Bella lifted her head to look at me and I kissed her tenderly. Will took a shaky breath and yawned. It was still early for him, not to mention that he must have stayed up half the night waiting for his mom.

"Son, why don't you go to Nana's room and get some sleep? It's barely seven-thirty," I said.

"Mmhmm," he hummed and without a word he went off to sleep.

As soon as we heard the soft click of the bedroom door, Bella pounced on me, wrapping her legs around my waist and kissing me. Who was I to deny her that pleasure? I smirked to myself over my selflessness and kissed her back with the same desire. She moaned somewhat loudly when I palmed her ass and she sought some contact by rubbing herself on my cock.

"Fuck," I groaned.

"Oh yes, please," she giggled.

I smacked her ass hard and squeezed her cheek. "Don't fucking tempt me," I growled. She laughed, pecked my lips and hopped off of me.

"As much as I love to tease you," she began as she walked toward the kitchen, "I need coffee. If I go to bed now, I'll be dead to the world for the rest of the day. Go and have a sit on the couch while I make some."

"Sure thing, love."

I sat down, leaned back, closed my eyes and sighed. Even though I knew she was here with me, it was still hard to believe. We definitely had shit to talk about but there was no rush. We'd solve our issues as time went by and we had the rest of our lives to do so. The most important thing that mattered was to start our mutual life together. I quickly got up and grabbed the manila envelope from the floor. I wanted us to look through the houses together, narrow it down to the best five and then, along with our Will, decide which one we liked.

Bella returned holding a small tray with two cups of coffee and a plate with two cupcakes. She handed me the coffee and sat next to me, putting her legs on my lap. I rested my hand on her thigh and looked at her.

"What are all these papers?" she asked. I took her hand in mine and kissed it.

"I've been doing some research on houses," I said.

"Why? What's wrong with this one?" she asked confused.

"The apartment is small," I said and shrugged my shoulders. "William needs a bigger room, a desk where he can read and have his computer, a bathroom of his own. Sunny needs a backyard. The kitchen is too small and there's no guest room. Where is Charlie supposed to stay when he visits? I refuse to have him stay in a hotel. I want you to have your own space where you can study and a big living room to spend time with our family."

"You want us to live together?" she whispered.

"Yes," I said truthfully. "We're a family and we should be together."

Her eyes brimmed with tears and she smiled widely. "How long have you been planning it? When were you gonna tell me?"

I sighed. "Well if that fucker hadn't kidnapped you, I would have told you last night."

"Yesterday?" she gasped and I nodded. "Did…um Esme know all this?"

"No, only Marcus. I sort of had an epiphany when I woke up so…"

"What kind of epiphany?"

"That I don't want to do the whole dating thing all over again. I mean I'll take you out on dates and shit like that but not the whole living in different houses. I know you and you know me- the real me, and not the asshole I pretended to be. I want to start living again with you and Will fully in my life; I want to move forward and forget everything," I said sincerely. Bella chewed her lower lip and hesitated for a moment. Her frown spoke volumes. She didn't want any of that.

"Gosh, I love the idea but…"

Within seconds the hopefulness I felt evaporated, and anger and hurt took over. "But what? Is this about that fucker? Are you afraid you might hurt his feelings because if that's the case you should have thought about that last night!" I snarled.

"Edward," there's nothing going on with John. I thought we'd established that after last night."

I snorted. "Yeah, right!"

"I'm not his cup of tea," she stated.

"I'm not blind, Bella," I huffed. "He was all over you!"

"Are you jealous?" she smirked.

"Fuck, yeah, I'm jealous! He had his paws all over you!"

Suddenly, she was laughing. I sat there, staring at her blankly, waiting for her to finish laughing in my face. What the fuck was so funny about being jealous of the person trying to steal the love of my life? Was it funny that I almost had a heart attack? Women are so fucking strange. They're either pissed off at us for being jealous or they complain that we don't love them enough because we're not jealous when someone looks at them!

"Are you done?" I asked tersely.

"Do you want to know how I actually met John _six years ago_?" she asked, grinning.

_Six fucking years!_

"No," I said, as I took a sip of coffee. Then I lit a cigarette.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I lied. Of course I wanted to know.

"Last chance," she sang.

"Whatever," I muttered and started going through the copies of the houses. I could feel her eyes on me.

"He is in a relationship, you know," she said after a while. "John is very committed even though they're miles apart."

I glared at her. "He felt you up in front of our son and yours truly!"

"Oh, please," she laughed. "Baby," she whined and crawled on my lap.

"Don't," I warned.

"Honey," she pushed.

"Don't try to butter me up. He's still gonna get his pretty face fucked up."

"Angel," she whispered in my ear as she rolled her hips on my already hard dick.

"Fuck," I hissed and pushed my hips up against hers as I pulled her to me and kissed the shit out of her.

_Well sorry for missing her lips that much!_

"Edward," she moaned lightly and pulled back. "As much as I want to right now, we have a few things to talk about," she said. I sighed and rested my forehead against hers.

"First, you started it, and secondly, I refuse to be the other guy even for a few seconds, Bella. You'd better call him and tell him it's off. You're mine," I said seriously.

She pursed her lips playfully, trying to mask her smile. "I love it when you're possessive. It's kind of hot!"

"I'm serious," I insisted and grabbed the phone from the coffee table. "You call him now and tell him that this whole thing isn't working and that we got back together. End of discussion."

"Jacob," was all she said.

I was perfectly sure that I was looking at her as if she had grown another head. Why the hell did she have to mention him?

"Jacob was the reason I met John," she started. "You see, six years ago Charlie visited and surprised me by bringing Jake. Believe it or not, the last time I saw him was when you dragged me away from his birthday. I was so happy when I saw him. You can't even imagine how close I felt to you. It brought back all the goofing around and pranks that we pulled on Emmett. My place wasn't big, so he and Charlie stayed in a hotel a few blocks away from me. Will knew about Jake but not much. He didn't want his Mama to talk about another man other than his daddy," she smiled and sat back down next to me.

"He insisted on taking me out, dinner and movie. More like a brother taking out his sister. The first thing he told me once we sat down was how much William looked like you. I had stopped crying over what happened years ago because I didn't want Will to see how sad I was. But at that moment, the floodgates opened and I started crying. I told him everything, Edward. He was devastated. Not only for me and Will, but for his best friend as well.

"He may never have told you that but I knew it. Jacob knew a bit of your history and thought that overwhelming you wasn't an option. He knew that you didn't deal well with people other than family so he decided to keep it to himself. He knew what it meant to feel deserted and hurt even if he didn't show it," she paused.

"That's bullshit, Bella," I said. "Jacob was never deserted."

She leaned in and kissed my shoulder. "He was. The first one who did was Billy. Jacob was…different and Billy couldn't accept that about his son."

"I don't understand," I said frustrated. "What does Jake have to do with our situation?"

She giggled as I grabbed my coffee, taking a sip. "For someone so smart, you're awfully slow sometimes. Jake is gay."

I choked and spat coffee all over me and the coffee table. I assume that my eyes were wide like saucers and I felt myself opening and closing my mouth several times. After I composed myself slightly, I spoke.

"You're telling me that that behemoth of a man is…" I started and paused.

"Gay. He was actually gonna tell you the day we stormed off the rez. He trusted you enough to even think of telling you his secret. Anyway that's not the point. While we were out that night, I had a few drinks. It wasn't that much but two glasses of wine were enough to make me pass out. Jake freaked out because he couldn't wake me up. He called for help and a man approached stating that he was a doctor. That man was John. The rest is history. One thing led to another and they've been on and off for the past six years. Jake lives in Seattle at the moment and is in the middle of having his business transferred here to be with John," she finished calmly.

Man! Jake was gay. I would have never thought something like that about him- never. He basically had all the girls at the rez drooling after him. Jesus!

"I got the position at St. Joseph because of John. There was an opening in Trauma and all he had to do was tell me," she smiled. "And I'll be eternally grateful to him for this."

"Are we sure that this fucker is one hundred percent bending that direction? He didn't hesitate to eye fuck you!" I asked sternly.

She gasped. "Don't be so crude! I already told you."

"How does Ma know him?" I asked without giving her any chance to think of anything.

Bella smirked. "You didn't even know what hit you, huh?" I glared at her because I was pissed. "I was having lunch with Esme a few days ago and John happened to take his break at the same time. He came to the deli, I introduced them, and Esme asked him to join us. She's obviously far more perceptive than you." I raised an eye brow, asking her silently to elaborate. She rolled her eyes at me. "Gaydar, Edward. It took only seconds for Esme to figure it out. After that initial awkwardness between two people meeting for the first time, she just asked him "so what's his name?" Needless to say, John fell in love with Esme and her Pradas that day. It was love at first sight."

"Fruitcake," I snorted and she slapped me with the back of her hand on my chest… hard. "Hey!" I called, rubbing the spot. "That hurt!"

"You weren't calling him that yesterday when you thought he was 'eyefucking' me," she said, air quoting. "Be nice," she warned.

"Actually, it was our son who called him that first," I started, regretting it instantly for snitching on him. "And he was eyefucking you! At least he seemed to be."

She sighed. "That boy needs to stop swearing."

"You know he only does it when he's frustrated. Besides it's our secret and I'd like if you didn't say anything," I started. "So back to the subject. Care to share what was that stunt you pulled yesterday on me?" I asked and lit another cigarette.

She took the cigarette from my lips and brought it to hers, taking a deep drag. She exhaled the smoke and stared at me, smiling lightly. That was so fucking hot. I grabbed her t-shirt, pulled her to me, and kissed her deeply. She giggled, sat back and gave me back my cigarette.

Bella then told me how both John and Ma advised her on how to act when it came to our relationship. How she needed to talk to me about needing to be with me. She told me that she knew I needed time and that she wasn't willing to pressure me when it came to that. Bella thought that we had to take a step at a time. Then she said that John reminded her of the gala and that she should come.

"I could practically see the wheels running in their minds. John was adamant without saying a word and Esme, even though she was a bit reluctant, said it was a good idea. She was sad at first because she knew it would somewhat hurt you…" she continued but I cut her off.

"Hurt me? Jesus, Bella! It fucking killed me! She handed me a paper bag to help me breathe," I shot back.

"That was why she was reluctant. Anyway, John persuaded her somehow and when I told them I wouldn't play along with the charade, she tried to guilt me by saying William wanted his parents together and how much she missed watching you smile every day. That she was tired of going from one place to another so she could see us both. When she saw that that wasn't working either, she pulled out the big guns. ' _Isabella Marie Swan, you're gonna do it and that's final!_ ' I crossed my arms and asked her why. ' _Because you love him enough to give him a wake up call. My son is too dense sometimes._ '"

I stayed silent for a minute. "You said she didn't know what you'd been planning so don't be hard on her," Bella said.

"Fine," I said and smiled. "I won't bitch much."

"Good. Now can we discuss this whole house thing? I want to ask you something."

"You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"No, angel. Um, it's about Esme," she started. "I want her to live with us," she stated. "Since we're just talking, I wanted to have it out in the open. I don't want her on her own. You know I love her as if she was my own mother. Always have and always will."

"Bell-" I started but she cut me off before I could tell her that I was thinking the same thing.

"It wasn't only our lives that turned upside down, baby. Imagine how she felt. No matter what happened, she loved Carlisle enough to stay with him all these years. Living on her own will only make her think more and it's not wise. Please, Edward, could you at least think about it?" she pleaded.

And that was just another reason why I loved her so much. Her heart was angelic, always selfless. She didn't even think if she'd be uncomfortable with having my Ma in our house. I sat there looking at her astounded, then I nodded. She smiled and squealed lightly before throwing herself at me and hugging me tightly.

"You won't regret it! I swear to you!" She said and sighed. And I believed her.

As if on cue, the apartment door opened and a frantic Esme entered. When our eyes met, she burst into tears. "He's gone! I went to wake him up for breakfast and he was gone!"

Bella rushed to her. "Esme, it's okay. He's here, sleeping in your room."

Shaken as she was, Ma started crying even more. "I was so scared. I thought that he had taken Sunny out to do his business but when I saw the dog sprawled on Will's bed, I knew something bad had happened. I thought that Carlisle might have taken him," she continued rambling and I knew it was my time to speak.

"Ma," I said and rubbed her back. "Calm down. He's here and safe, okay?"

She sniffled and nodded. "Sometimes I think I have a second Edward before me," she muttered and I was sure as hell my chest puffed out with pride. I think that she said it to make up for her make-Edward-die stunt. However it didn't completely work.

"Well, let us hope that you won't put him through the shit you did to me last night," I said, faking anger.

"It worked, didn't it?" Ma asked eyeing Bella from head to toe.

I didn't get the chance to speak.

"I thought so," she giggled and kissed my cheek.

**~Ж~**

It had been three weeks since Bella and I got back together… three perfect weeks of pure bliss. The only times we weren't together were when she or I worked. Will was ecstatic even though he tried to be cool. The first morning I woke up at Bella's apartment, Will had made us breakfast, nothing fancy: just plain cereal with coffee and juice. It was the best breakfast I've ever had.

However, to our misfortune, the house we liked the most was sold to a higher bidder. The original price was $150,000 but a second bidder offered $50,000 more. That threw me out of the running completely. Ma and Emmett offered to give me the money and pay them back whenever I could but I didn't want to. This was something I needed to do on my own. Call me proud or a jerk but it was the truth. I needed to be the one to provide a roof for my family. Bella was sad but we kept looking. I would find her dream house. My girl kept telling me not to stress about it but I couldn't do otherwise. My condo was sold almost immediately and I had already moved some of my things to Bella's and Emmett's. The rest went to a small warehouse.

Today I had the day off, so I decided to go out again and look for a house. Ma had arrived earlier and I asked if she wanted to come with me. She smiled brightly and told me that she had come across a place and wanted to check it out. According to her it, was the perfect house and it was near the one we had lost. That sparked my interest. I liked that neighborhood a lot and it was really close to Emmett and Jasper. We had a quick coffee in a deli and soon we were on the road again. It wasn't long before told me to stop.

"What are we doing here?" I asked. We were standing outside _the_ house.

She smiled and got out of the car. "Come on, slow poke," she giggled.

"Ma, I don't think the owner would like to have a couple of strangers walking on his lawn," I said and looked towards the house.

"Oh, I don't think he'd mind," she smirked and took out a set of keys. She opened the door and went in.

I gasped as I entered the house. It was beautiful and so warm. The walls had a dark tan color and the colors varied between gray, black and teal. I stared at the huge living room and I couldn't help but feel at home. The couch looked familiar. I approached and ran my fingers over the black leather. It was my own couch! I looked around and saw Ma standing next to the fire place, with a huge smile and tears in her eyes.

"What did you do?" I whispered as I tried to control my emotions.

"Come and sit with me, sweetheart," she ordered and took my hand in hers.

"Ma…" I began and she placed her hand over my mouth.

"Shh… let me talk, okay?" she asked and I nodded. "You are my son and I love you. I've watched you grow from a little scared boy into the man you are now and I couldn't be more proud of you. You are my heart and soul. You and Emmett saved me in ways only a mother could understand," she paused. "Do you remember what you did and told me the first time I saw you in the hospital?" Ma asked and blinked away a couple of tears.

I did remember. It was one of the few childhood memories I decided to keep right after Lizzie's death. Esme looked like an angel that day. I nodded and kissed her hand. "I reached for you and when you hugged me, I told you that you smelled like a real mommy," I said in a hoarse voice.

"That day was the happiest day of my life," she whispered and kissed my cheek. "I know that the past thirteen years were the darkest of your life. What he did to you was cruel and I will be sorry forever for that," she continued. "You are so selfless, honey. You always run to everyone who needs help and you never ask for anything in return. This house is yours. It's a bright new beginning to start your family. You will accept this gift from me without a word of protest because you deserve it more than anyone. You deserve to be happy," she finished.

I stared at her not knowing what to say back. I couldn't utter a single word. All I could do was take her in my arms and cry. "I love you so much," I whispered. "You're the best mother a child could ever ask for."

She patted my back and released me. "Oh well," Ma said and brushed away a tear. "I couldn't have asked for better children. I'm so proud of you, both of you. Now," she continued, "before I give you a tour of the house, I want to give you something else," she said, taking an envelope out of her purse and handing it to me.

I tore it open and saw a savings account book, along with a credit card and a book of checks. I opened the saving account book and I shook my head furiously. "No."

"Yes," Ma said seriously.

"I gave it to you. I don't want it," I said sternly.

"And I chose to keep the money safe until there was a reason to give it back to you. Baby, you have a son now and in a few years he'll be going to college. You're gonna have more children with Bella at some point and they'll need their future secure. This money will do so. Please, Edward," she tried to reason with me. "I'm not saying to go crazy, big spender. I'm just asking you to save it and use it as needed. This is not Carlisle's money or Gregory's. It was yours all along, since you were six. Your Grandmother made sure of it."

"Ma, please," I said in a small voice. She was right and I knew it. All she had to do was mention Will's name. "It's too much."

"Nothing will ever be too much when it comes to my boys," she said and hugged me.

"You're still gonna live with us, right?" I asked.

"Of course."

**~Ж~**

"Love, did you get everything?" I asked Bella from the front door.

"Yes," she sighed, coming out of her former bedroom. Finally after two weeks, we were moving to our new house.

Bella cried her eyes out the day I took her to see the house. She loved everything in there and even I can't recall how any times she thanked Ma. My girl had been very emotional the past couple of days. She would laugh and then suddenly she would snap or start crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she always blamed her stress. I had no reason to doubt her. Even though I tried to relax her as much as I could, in every way imaginable, it didn't always work. What did improve, however, was her appetite, and man didn't I love it. The things that toned hourglass figure of hers did to me…

"Will is going to stay at Emmett's today. He said something about an MJ marathon," she said, taking me out of my thoughts.

I squeezed her to my side and kissed her temple. "I know. Actually I was the one who proposed it. I wanted to have the house to ourselves and since Ma will be staying there as well, I thought it would be a nice opportunity. It feels like I haven't had you to myself in ages."

She giggled and turned her head up to look at me. "You're insatiable you know that? It's been only a week."

And what a week it was. She'd worked almost every night since Garcia was away for a conference and Will was studying non-stop for his finals. Bella and I had promised him that if he aced the tests, we would take him to New York for a week. Ma was busy with the preparations for her bakery and Emmett had to take a leave because Rosalie was due any day.

"Well, I feel neglected and since you finally have two days off, I wanted to romance you a bit," I said, wiggling my brows.

"Hmm," she said. "And just how do you plan on romancing me?"

"I thought I'd make you some dinner, we'd watch a movie and then I'd fuck you on every surface in the house," I replied and licked her ear lobe.

Bella snorted. "Smooth Cullen. Really smooth."

I chuckled and dragged her out of the place.

Later that evening, after we had dinner, we sat on the couch, listening to music silently. Bella snuggled on my chest as I sipped my beer. I sighed. This was how my life was gonna be from now on. Wake up, go to work, come back home and spend time with my love and our son and, in the future, possibly more kids. Boring? No fucking way. I had spent too many years being a bachelor and this new development was most welcomed. I had a reason to wake up with a smile on my face every morning and be happy. I knew that I wanted to marry her. A piece of paper wouldn't change anything but it was something I wanted for so long. I wanted the world to know that this woman was mine.

Her light snoring took me out of my thoughts; she had fallen asleep. I smiled and caressed her cheek. I shifted my body slightly so I could stand and carry her to bed. She didn't even flinch. I went up the stairs, entered our bedroom and placed her on the bed. She turned to her side and instinctively moved to my side. I went to the bathroom really quick and soon I joined her, taking her in my arms and closing my eyes.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to the sounds of someone retching. The bathrooms light was on and the door was a bit ajar. I shot up from the bed knowing that Bella was in there. I rushed to her and saw her on her knees, heaving above the toilet. I quickly pushed her hair back and rubbed her back lightly. She was pale as ghost and sweating bullets.

"G-go aw-away," she heaved and tried to push me away.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked stupidly.

After a new round of puking her guts out, she was able to relax. She flushed the toilet as I grabbed a wash cloth to wipe her face. My hands were shaking not knowing what more I could do for her.

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that much," she whined. "Ugh!"

I ran the wash cloth over her face. "How are you feeling?"

"I'd be much better once I get a Maalox," she said. Before she even tried to move, I scooped her up and took her to bed.

"You stay here and I'll be back," I instructed.

I flew down the stairs, ran to the kitchen, opened the cabinet above the stove and took out a box of salted crackers. Next I found the Maalox and a can of Ginger Ale. When I returned, I found her sitting cross-legged, resting back against the headboard. She rubbed her stomach and groaned lightly. I sat next to her and gave her the medicine.

"I hate it when I get sick," she protested. She hit me lightly on my shoulder. "Why did you let me eat all that ice cream?"

I smiled at her. "As if you could resist cookie dough." I opened up the Ginger Ale and handed it to her. She took a couple of sips and ate a couple of crackers. By the time she finished, the color had returned to her face and I breathed a sigh of relief. I placed the small tray on the nightstand and helped Bella to the bathroom so she could brush her teeth. Her touch was so cold, it scared me.

"Do you want to take a shower?" I asked. She shook her head. "Okay, sweetheart. Lets go to bed." I helped her lie down and she fell asleep instantly. I, on the other hand, couldn't. I just sat there watching her sleep. After an hour or so, as the sun started rising, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to sleep.

Sunny's bark woke me up in the morning. The shower was running and I decided to go down to the kitchen and let Bella finish washing up. As I descended the stairs, my nostrils were assaulted with the rich smell of bacon and fresh brewed coffee. The front door opened and Will came inside panting and petting Sunny.

"Morning, Dad," he smiled and came to hug me.

"Hey buddy," I said back and kissed the top of his head. "What's got you breathing like that?"

"I went for a small run around the block and took Sun with me," he said, placing the leash on the banister of the stairs. "Would you mind if I invited my friends to come over later? The girls want to see the house."

"I'm fine with that. How's Julie?" I asked with a smirk. He flushed and shifted on his legs.

"Um, good," he said quickly. He paused for a moment and then spoke. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I want to ask Julie to go to the movies with me," he mumbled. "But I don't know how to."

"Someone's crushing," I teased and he blushed even more. I threw an arm over his shoulder and dragged him to the couch. "How much do you like her?"

"A lot," he frowned. "But she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend. I want to change that because I really, _really_ like her."

"Are you absolutely sure that she doesn't feel the same?" He nodded. "So you want to want to court her?"

He smiled lightly and he looked at me with his sparkling eyes. "Is that what you called it back in your time?"

"Actually we called it hook up but that's not the point," I chuckled. "Seriously, do you really want to sweep her off her feet?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm asking for help, aren't I?"

"Then go to her place when she's not there or call and ask permission from her father," I said, folding my hands behind my head and resting my legs on the coffee table. "This way her father will like you even more because: a) you did the right thing and asked him first – which doesn't happen these days, and b) you'll reassure him that you'll be chaperoned."

"Huh?" he asked dumbfounded.

"You'll tell him that your parents will be with you," I said and gave him a side glance. "Julie will be impressed to no end. It will be awkward for her when her father tells her what you did but she'll appreciate it because no one else has done that before. That will make you special, not to mention that her mom will absolutely love you because of what you did. Tim will try to play the strict Dad card on you but you'll stay calm."

He chewed his bottom lip, contemplating what I told him. "Is that what you did with Ma?"

"Yes," I said and smiled as I remembered Charlie.

"What did Pops do when you went to pick her up for your first date?"

"He was cleaning his shot guns," I said and laughed lightly. "He tried to be scary but I didn't budge at all."

"Why?" he asked confused. "I would have probably shit in my pants."

"Back then, when I didn't know I harbored feelings for your Ma, she tried to go on a date with Stan, a guy from our Lit class. I was kind of there, you see. I overheard Charlie having a conversation with Billy on the phone the day before the date and I knew I couldn't miss the show," I said and sighed wistfully. "Once Stan saw the guns, he ran out of the house and the date was long forgotten."

When I finished, Will started laughing. "Pussy," he said.

"Watch it," I said sternly. "We got to do something about that mouth of yours. You need to tone it down a bit with all the cussing."

"Oh, come on," he whined. "I thought this was supposed to be our secret, dude."

"It still is but not when your Ma hears you."

"Okay," he said. "So all I need to do is call Mr. T and ask his permission?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Cool," he said and went to the kitchen.

I looked at my watch and saw that with all the talking almost half an hour had passed and Bella had yet to come down. I decided to go and find her when I saw her coming down the stairs. One look on her face and I knew that she was still feeling sick. She looked exhausted and paler than yesterday. She paused for a second and swayed back and forth; she was going to pass out! I climbed the stairs quickly and I swear my heart stopped when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she started falling.

"Bella," I yelled and she fell limp in my arms. I picked her up, quickly rushed down stairs, and then called for Ma.

"Oh my God! What happened?" she asked.

"I don't fucking know!" I exclaimed. I was losing it. I put her on the couch and rested her head on my lap. I shook her lightly but it didn't work.

"Ma!" Will cried as he kneeled in front of her and took her hand in his.

"Bella? Baby? Come on, love, open your eyes," I choked.

Ma ran upstairs and when she returned, she was holding a small bottle. She flipped it open and put it under Bella's nose. Her body jerked lightly as if she'd received an electric shock and her eyes started to flutter. She blinked lazily a couple of times and looked around.

"What happened?" Bella asked with a thick voice.

"Baby, you passed out while you were coming down the stairs. I barely caught you," I said calmly, trying really hard not to upset her. She tried to get up but I held her in place.

"Mommy?" Will asked worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Bella smiled at his and placed her hand on his cheek. "I'm fine, little man. Just a bit dizzy."

"Son, why don't you get your mom a glass of juice?" I asked and before I even finished, he was gone. I looked at her and saw that she had her eyes closed. "I'm taking you to the doctor."

"Honey, I'm okay. A little tired but fine. Don't worry," she whispered.

"Here," Will said and handed me the juice. Ma helped her sit up carefully and I gave her the glass. She sipped the juice slowly and ten minutes later she seemed okay.

"Better?" Ma asked.

"Yeah," Bella smiled. "All these hours at work have finally taken their toll."

"Do you feel sick again? Do you want some crackers?" I asked.

Will instantly disappeared and returned with lightning speed holding a box of crackers in his hands. He opened it and handed her a cracker. "Here," he whispered. Bells took it and started eating.

"What did you feel?" Ma asked her.

"Last night I pigged out and ate loads of ice cream and your son did nothing to stop me," she accused and smiled lightly. "Then in the middle of the night I got sick a couple of times and I just passed out. Seriously guys, I'm feeling better. Maybe I caught a bug or something."

"I'm gonna call Walter to ask him to give you a couple of sick days and I'm not taking no for an answer. You need to rest, my love," I said.

"How long have you been feeling like that?" Ma asked.

"It started earlier this week but it wa…" she paused and her eyes went wide. "No!"

Ma beamed at her. "Is there a possibility?"

"A possibility for what?" I asked, losing my shit completely.

"Oh my God!" Bella said, covering her mouth with her hand and running to the bathroom.

_What the_ _hell?_

**~Ж~**

"Guys, I'm home," I called as I entered the house. Today was one of the longest and most boring days at work. I was so glad it was over.

"I'm the living room," Bella said. I dropped my keys on the coffee table and sank on the couch.

"It's so good to be home," I sighed and turned my head to look at my girl.

She pecked my cheek and got up. "I made lasagna. Come on, you must be starving." She didn't get to repeat herself.

Bella sat across the kitchen island and watched me eat. When I finished the second plate of lasagna, she got up and brought me chocolate pie for dessert. Every time I looked at her, she avoided my gaze. Something was off. Everything screamed 'wrong': her posture, her hesitance, she didn't even kiss me properly. She always did when I came home. I pushed the plate with my half-eaten pie to the side and looked at her.

"What's going on, Bells?"

She bit her lower lip and looked at me briefly. "There is something I need to tell you but I don't know how."

I stood and walked to her. I spun her on her bar stool and placed my hands on her thighs, then gave her a peck and smiled. "Why don't you just spill it? You don't need a speech to tell me anything, babe."

"Edward…" she began timidly.

"Yes, love," I responded.

"I'm pregnant."

Everything went black.


	20. The Joys of Parenthood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

"Edward." Bella called.

"Ouch," I groaned as I opened my eyes and rubbed the back of my head.

"How do you feel?" she asked as she ran her knuckles over my cheek.

I rolled to my side so I could face her stomach. Fuck! I was going to be a father again and I would get to be part of it from day one. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I went to the hospital today and ran a blood test."

"How far are you?"

"Six weeks."

I clenched her side with my right hand and kept looking at her stomach. I was terrified. It was one thing to suddenly be a father to a thirteen-year old; being father to a newborn was entirely different. Thousands of questions tortured my mind: would I let the baby down if I couldn't make it stop crying or if I didn't burp it correctly? Would I be able to feed it without choking it? What about Bella? Would I be capable enough to make her as comfortable as possible throughout her pregnancy?

_Fuck_ _, I need to find the recipe for that peanut butter pie she likes!_

"I'm scared," I whispered.

"I know," Bella said. "Me too."

"I don't want to let you down. I've no idea how to help you or wh-"

"Shh," she cut me off. "First of all you'd never let me down. You're helping just by being here, with me, now. Will you make tiny mistakes? Sure, everyone does. I nearly dropped William while I was breast-feeding him. You'll learn and I, along with you, all over again," she paused. Bella opened and closed her mouth several times but no words were spoken.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you okay with our new… predicament?" she frowned.

I snorted. "Fuck yeah! Would I've liked to have more time with you and Will before talking about more kids? Sure, but it's not my fault I have super sperm. It was only a matter of time before I knocked you up!" I joked and she threw her head back and laughed.

"Oh my! Cocky much, Officer Cullen?" she smirked.

"If you need a demonstration, all you have to do is ask," I teased.

Bella flicked my nose playfully and stood up. She walked toward the living room and when I couldn't see her anymore, I saw a blue t-shirt land at the entrance to the kitchen.

_Demonstration it is_ _then…_

**≈** **Ж≈**

We both lay on our bed in complete darkness. I moved my finger tips over her bare shoulder as she snuggled to my side. I sighed.

"When do you think we should tell Will?" she asked.

"How about we go out tomorrow night just the three of us? Have an early dinner and maybe a movie or an amusement park?" I asked. "He said something the other day about going to a funhouse with mazes. Maybe we could take him there, then grab a couple of hot dogs and walk down the pier."

"Sounds good," she yawned.

I chuckled. "Sleep, my angel."

Saturday was officially my favorite day. No work, and Bella took sick leave after Walter's insistence. Will and Ma were due any minute from their walk and Charlie was to arrive later in the afternoon. I practically had to beg him to come for a visit since I wasn't able to take my leave just yet. I was saving my days for when the baby came. Bella would need all the support she could get- especially when she'd give birth.

_Birth?_ Did I even want to be present? Was I strong enough to be present?

' _Well you were strong enough to stick your dick in her and knock her up!_ ' my inner voice snorted. ' _You'll find the strength!_ '

"What strength?" I heard Will ask, taking me out of my thoughts. Shit! I must've been talking to myself.

I gulped. "Nothing, kiddo. How about you go get ready? Your Ma and I have a surprise for you."

His whole face lit up. "You know I love surprises! Will I love this one?"

I smiled. "I sure hope so."

"Awesome," he called and ran to his room.

Ma and Bells came out of the kitchen giggling like schoolgirls; Ma had her hand on Bella's stomach, patting it lightly. Bella sighed and nodded her head.

"Charlie was but his sister never made it. The umbilical cord choked her as she struggled to get out. The odds are too low unless it was passed from Renee which I highly doubt. Both parents can pass the trait, but most of the times the mothers' prevails. Of course, that doesn't mean that there would never be a possibility. Take Rose for instance. She searched back two generations and came up empty-handed," Bella said. "Every person can have traits from seven generations back."

"Seven?" Ma exclaimed. "I never knew that the father could pass it as well. I always thought that it was something only mothers did since men don't ovulate."

"As I said, he passes the trait. As you know, there are two types of twins: identical and fraternal. Identical twins come from a single fertilized egg that for some reason split itself in two. Identical twins have exactly the same genetic make-up. Fraternal twins arise from two separate eggs. Sometimes both of a woman's ovaries will produce an egg cell at the same time. Each of these is fertilized by a separate sperm cell- which there are always plenty- so they have different genetic make-up. They may share the same womb and be born at the same time but are no more closely related than true brothers. Edward and Emmett are an example of fraternal twins. So are Rose's," Bella finished and sat down on the couch.

I sank down next to her and kissed her temple. "What on earth are you talking about?" I chuckled. "I'm kind of lost."

"Esme asked me if there was a possibility of having twins," she said and snuggled next to me.

_T_ _wins?_ Jesus Christ!

Bella looked at me and laughed lightly. The expression on my face must have been enough. "Baby, don't worry. There is no way."

I decided to lighten the mood. I didn't want her to think- not even for a second- that I didn't want this baby. "Never say never, hun. You know I have sup-"

"Yeah, yeah. You have super sperm. We know that," she finished, cutting me off.

Ma giggled. "God, I missed your playful banter. So, I assume that you're telling Will about the baby?"

"Yes," Bella nodded.

"He'll be so excited. I'm positive," Ma said.

Bella frowned. "What if he doesn't want the baby?"

"Oh, sweetheart," Ma said, sat on the couch and nearly knocked me on my ass as she took Bella in her arms. "He is gonna love the fact that he'll be someone's big brother. You wait and see. Our boy will smother this little munchkin with so much love until it starts screaming ' _enough!_ '"

**≈ **Ж≈****

"That was awesome!" Will cried as he finally made his way out of the maze.

"I assume you got your fix then?" Bella teased.

"Uh huh," he beamed, nodding frantically at the same time. "Can we come back?"

"Sure thing, baby," Bella replied and she gave him a sloppy kiss. "So how about those dogs your dad promised? Are you game?" I snorted loudly and started laughing. Bella turned around and looked at me. "What?" she asked.

"Are you game?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm down with the kids."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Sure, Bells. You're the bomb."

"Shut up," she whined and hit me lightly on my chest.

"Are you done?" Will asked suddenly, with his arms crossed over his chest. "In case you haven't noticed, you have a kid to feed and he's hungry."

I wrapped my hand around Bella's waist and laid my hand protectively over her invisible bump, running my fingers lazily over it. "Not the only one," I whispered in her ear and kissed her temple.

"What was that?" Will asked.

Bella glared at me. "Nothing, little man. Let's go get you fed." Will started walking away from us and she elbowed my ribs. "Be careful what you say. He doesn't know yet."

Bella walked toward Will and I stayed back, watching them. Moments like this always made me feel like an outcast. Emmett and Garrett told me all the time not to dwell on the past but how can I not? Even for a bit. I could have had it all along until we were robbed of the chance. I would never understand how Carlisle could do this to me. He was the only man I grew to love as a father, the only man I respected until I met Charlie.

I approached them, placed my order, and then we found a bench to sit on. We all ate quietly and I caught Will watching me. He had a strange look on his face and I couldn't help but wonder whether he knew what was up.

"Want another one, kiddo?" I asked as I finished eating.

He shook his head. "I want you to tell me what you're hiding from me."

Bella sighed. "We're not hiding anything, Will. We have some news to share with you and I hope that you'll be as excited as we are."

"Are we moving?" he whispered.

"No," I replied, putting my arm around his shoulders. "You know we love you more than anything in the world, right?" He nodded. "And it will never change no matter what."

"I love you too," he said looking straight into my eyes.

"Sweetheart, what your father is trying to say is that no matter who else joins our family, you will be equally loved," Bella started. "You see when two people love each other they um, create…" I smiled, kissed the top of her head, and rubbed her stomach.

Will's eyes narrowed instantly and he looked at his mother. "Ma, are you having a baby?"

"Yes," she said and smiled brightly, hers matching mine. I only wished Will would too. He stayed silent for a couple of seconds.

"I'm happy for you," he whispered and smiled sadly.

"Thanks, baby," Bella replied even though I knew she wanted to know more as to what he was thinking. That made two of us.

"Can I name him?" he asked shyly.

"Him?" I chuckled.

"Yeah, him," he nodded and his smile grew wider. "Because your heart couldn't handle a girl in her teens," he said and started laughing.

"Did _you_ tell him that?" I squeezed Bells to my side.

"Yes, right after I told him when Charlie caught you climbing up my tree," she laughed.

"Christ, woman," I said and swatted her ass lightly.

I smiled at the memory…

" _Did you bring them?" Bella asked from her window._

" _Yeah. They came earlier this morning with the courier. Thank God Emmett and Mama weren't there," I said and blushed. "Jesus, Bells," I continued as I started getting ready to climb the tree. "We're only sixteen. Why is it necessary to get sexual education as a class anyway?"_

" _One more step up that tree, Edward Cullen, and you're in big trouble!" Charlie's voice boomed out of nowhere._

_Dear earth, hello. It's me, Edward, at the tender age of sixteen. Please, I beg of you, open up and swallow me including the contraband paper bag hanging from my mouth._

" _What do you have there, boy? Better not be any kind of alcohol or drugs," he said as I turned around to face him. "Give me that," he said and grabbed the bag from my hand._

_I heard Bella trying to muffle her laughter and I glared at her. 'You're so dead' I mouthed and made the slit your throat move. I took a step back in a feeble attempt to get away from the Chief._

" _You better have an explanation as to why you were trying to climb my daughter's tree with a bag full of condoms, boy!" he growled and took a step toward me as I took three back._

" _I-it's f-fooor sexual ed-edu-ucation, sir," I stuttered as I was on the verge of passing out._

" _What?" he yelled._

" _Be- Bel-Bella?" I called. Charlie's face started getting a very dangerous shade of purple and I didn't like it._

_Suddenly Charlie started laughing loudly clenching his stomach, and Bella-whom I hadn't seen joining us- followed right behind._

"You should have seen your face," Bella giggled.

"Yeah, I imagine," I smirked. "I can only imagine how yours will be once you catch a girl sneaking in Will's room."

Bella gasped loudly, smacking me on the chest and Will's ears turned bright red. "Jeez, Dad Why would she catch a girl sneaking in my room when we have a huge front door?"

"Trust me, son, one of us will have to endure that," I laughed.

"Edward! He is just a baby!" Bella chastised.

"Love, he is no baby. He's 5 foot 6 and he has a gi-" I started.

"Time to go home!" Will called and started jogging toward the car. I shook my head and stood up. Chuckling, I started heading to the car as well while Bella was still trying to process what happened.

**≈ **Ж≈****

Entering the doctor's office was nerve-wracking. I would get to see my baby for the second time and hear its heartbeat. I knew that it would be tiny but still I couldn't stop myself from feeling proud. Bella had a tiny bump already and Ma was teasing her that it was a boy. Another son… I sighed at the thought. I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl as long as it was healthy.

"Jesus, I think I'll explode," Bella complained as she sat on the chair. "I just entered the second trimester and I'm already huge."

"Babe, you're not huge. You're carrying a child and you're bound to get bigger since it's growing inside of you. Now, why don't you relax so we can see the peanut, huh?" I said and kissed the tip of her nose.

Bella sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry. It's just… I'm worried, you know? Although this is our second child, it feels as if it's the first. I just want everything to be all right."

"And it will be," I assured her. The door opened and Dr. Stevens entered.

"Well, hello there. How are you, Bella?" he asked as he sat down.

"Anxious," she smiled.

"That's normal, especially since you're in the field. Statistics indicate expecting parents with medical knowledge are more stressed. Even the tiniest symptom is enough to have your brain working on different scenarios. So what I suggest is that you lie back and enjoy the fact that you'll have a bunch of people at your feet ready to fulfill any wish of yours," Derek joked. "Besides the first sonogram was clean, okay?"

Bella placed her hand on her bump and rubbed it lazily. "Okay."

"Now, since we've settled this, let's see how baby Swan is doing," he said with a wink.

"That would be baby Cullen, Doc," I snapped.

"Edward!" Bella hissed lowly.

"Not my fault. He knows I'm the father, Bells," I whispered angrily.

The fucker had the audacity to chuckle. He shook his head lightly and looked at me. "I'm sorry, Edward," he said. "It kind of slipped. My bad."

"Sure it did," I muttered, which earned me an elbow in the ribs.

Bella- knowing the drill- lay down on the examining bed, lifted her shirt and lowered her pants a bit. I smiled goofily and started placing small kisses on her bump. I was fascinated by it. We created something beautiful and so very scary at the same time, but I couldn't bring myself to regret it. I didn't want to regret it. Having Will changed my perspective about children and parenthood. I could never regret anything that came from Bella.

"Sweetheart," Bella said, as she ran her hand through my hair, "Derek is waiting."

I apologized and, with one last kiss on her bump, sat back in my chair and took Bella's hand in mine. The doc squeezed some gel on her stomach and placed the machine on it; my eyes were glued to the monitor. The black screen came to life and became grey with a small dot right in the middle. This was a miracle: watching your unborn child growing into the safety of its mother's nest.

_Thumpthumpthumpthump…_

"And that's your baby's heart. Fast and loud," Derek smiled.

"Amazing," I whispered.

"It is indeed," Bella sniffled. I looked at her. She gave me a watery smile before turning her attention back to the screen.

_Thumpthumpthumpthump…_ _thumpthumpthumpthump…_

"I can hear your heart," I said and kissed her temple.

"Now, wait a minute…" Derek said suddenly and stuck his face closer to the screen.

That wasn't good…

"Derek?" Bella called.

He started moving the machine's head in various directions around her belly while I started sweating bullets. What the fuck was he seeing?

"Is there something wrong with the baby?" I asked forcefully. I was starting to panic.

"Shh!" he shushed angrily as if I was a fucking three-year old. I glared at him.

I heard Bella gasp and her body started shaking as she held my hand in a vice grip. Fuck, something was wrong with the baby!

' _What if it's Bella?_ ' my mind screamed.

"Well I'll be damned!" Derek fucking cheered and started laughing. "I've been an OB for twelve years and this is the first time I've been fooled."

_Thumpthumpthumpthump…_ _thumpthumpthumpthump..._

_Thumpthumpthumpthump… thumpthumpthumpthump…_

"Babe, calm down, your heart is beating like crazy. Please whatever it is we'll get through this together," I said, trying to stay calm.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes full of tears, her face pale. "Ed-Edward," she choked.

"What, love? What is it?"

"That's not _her_ heart, Edward," Derek said with relief as he started wiping the gel from Bella's stomach.

"Huh?" I said dumbly.

"Congratulations, Daddy," he chuckled. "You're having twins!"

The last thing I heard was Bella groaning "not again" and everything went black.

**≈ **Ж≈****

"I hate you, Emmett!" Rosalie screamed. She'd been in labor for six hours already and my brother was nothing but supportive even though he was scared shitless.

"I know it hurts, lovebird, but…" he started.

"You. Know. Shiiiiiiit! Oh my God! Please take them out! Please!" she cried.

"Hush now!" he cooed in her ear.

Fuck my life! This was gonna be me in less than five months. That was pure torture. How was I supposed to guide Bella through this pain?

"Just imagine that in less than ten hours…"

"Not fucking helping!" she snarled at him.

I chuckled unexpectedly. Her head snapped in my direction and she squinted at me. "Don't you worry, _Eddie_!" she said. Fuck, she was pissed. "Your turn is next and you know what? I'll be there when Bella rips your balls off! Fuuuuuck!" she wailed.

"Deep breaths, babe. Deep breaths," Emmett coached.

Chase Edward and Dana Esme Cullen were born twelve hours later only three minutes apart. I didn't leave my brother's side the whole time until the staff wheeled Rose to the delivery room. Emmett cried like a baby as he held his children one at a time. Chase had a light coat of brown hair and weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces. Dana was blonde and weighed 4 pounds 4 ounces. They were beautiful until they started crying. Then it sounded like someone was drowning a cat.

"Wanna hold Chase?" Emmett whispered as he cradled him.

"I-I don't know how," I stammered.

"You'll learn. Besides you'll need the practice," he smiled and kissed his forehead lightly. "I want to check on my daughter."

"Okay," I said and took him in my arms with shaking hands. "Jeez, Em. It's like holding a feather," I whispered, not wanting to wake Rose.

"Just support his head steadily on the crook of your elbow and place your hand firmly on his ass. I'll be back shortly," he finished and left the room.

As I held his sleeping form in my arms, I couldn't help but wish time would speed up for us. I wanted to hold our babies and kiss them, talk to them, feed them. I brought his tiny face to my lips and kissed him. God I loved the way he smelled.

"Hi, Chase," I whispered. "I'm your Uncle Edward. Your dad is my brother and your mom my best friend. You'll hear them call me Eddie from time to time but please kiddo, for the love of God, don't call me that or you and I are gonna have some issues," I chuckled. "You have a cousin; his name is Will and he's thirteen. He's kind and funny, not to mention the fact that he can kick some real ass. Your Aunt Bella is expecting some babies. They're twins just like Dana and you. The only difference is that they're identical.

"They're boys and their big brother picked their names already. He's not telling us though. He says that once he sees the boys he'll decide what to call them," I smiled momentarily before frowning. "But he's been a bit distant the past couple of days. I see him getting sadder each day, but he gets angry when I ask him if something's wrong. This morning, I said good morning to the babies and kissed Bella's tummy. I didn't notice him and when I looked at the door, I saw him standing there, wiping his tears. My boy is hurting and I can't help him. He won't let me, Chase, and fuck me if I know how to. Does it make me a bad father?" I asked and sighed sadly.

"No, it doesn't," Rose whispered, startling me.

"Hey, Mama," I smiled at her. "You heard the whole thing?"

"Most of it," she answered. She winced as she tried to shift on her bed.

"Easy there," I said and placed Chase into his bassinet. "You've got to go slow there, Ro."

She rolled her eyes and looked around. "Where's Emmett?"

"He went to see Dana," I said and sat on the bed. I brushed away a few strands of hair from her forehead. She sniffled and soon she was crying. "No no, Rose. Don't cry. She's gonna be fine; Bella said so and I believe her. It's only a precaution to have her incubated- just until she gains some weight."

Rosalie nodded and blew her nose loudly. "I know. I just wish I could see her. I gave birth to her and I didn't get the chance see what she looks like… tell her how much I love her," she sobbed.

I adjusted myself so I could sit right next to her and take her in my arms. "She's bald," I chuckled. "You can feel a tiny coat of blond hair and nothing else. Her skin is rosy pink and she has long feet just like Chase. You know what people say about long feet, no?"

"I don't think a mother needs to know how big her son's dick is or will be, you jerk," she laughed as her cries started slowing down.

"I know," I laughed lightly and kissed the top of her head. "I had to try and I don't think that you'd have liked if I'd called little D 'baby rat' because trust me when I say that she looks like one since she's bald and pink."

Rosalie slapped me on the chest and after protesting about her hit, we stayed silent for a few moments and watched Chase. "He looks like Emmett," she whispered.

"Poor kid," I said in a teasing tone.

"Stop messing with me, asshat. You're just bitter that they got nothing from their uncle," she joked. "And let me warn you," she continued. "If Chase's first word is fuck, you better start running."

I smiled realizing she'd be fine. "Sure thing, sweetheart."

The door opened slowly and Emmett poked his head inside. Once I saw his eyes, I knew that he'd been crying. With a silent thank you, he took my seat next to Rosalie. I kissed her and Chase and went home.

The drive was slow. I was worried about Dana but I was more worried about Will. His behavior had changed drastically. He withdrew into to himself, and I was really concerned that something was seriously wrong. He skipped his practices and Italian class a couple of times. These were things I kept from Bella because I knew it would upset her and she needed none of that. He was perfectly fine when others were around but I could feel his eyes boring holes in my direction. I knew that I was the reason for his troubles but since he wouldn't speak, I couldn't help. I even talked to Garrett about it. He said what Ma said as well; he was entering his teens and kids are a bit moody then. Both Bella and I made perfectly sure to never make him feel neglected just because we were expecting the babies.

I parked the car and stayed inside for a smoke. The lights in the living room were on so I assumed that Ma was awake. Bella had the nightshift and it was past Will's bedtime. I watched silently and smoked my cigarette when the front door opened and Will stepped out with Sunny right behind him. He made sure not to close the door and walked to the backyard.

"What the fuck?" I said to myself. I quickly got out of my car and started walking toward him when I heard him speak.

"And why the hell should I care about that? You did this to yourself! Why should I feel sorry for you?" he snapped. He paused for a second, clearly listening to what the other person was saying. "I am nothing like either of them and you leave them out of this. I'm my own person and if you think that you'll be able to manipulate _me_ , you're wrong. Stating that you're sorry won't change anything," he whispered yelled.

My heart was beating frantically at that point. I knew that I shouldn't eavesdrop on his conversation but I needed a way to find what was wrong with him.

"What I don't fucking get is why you keep calling me. Our arrangement was over the day I knew," he paused. _What fucking arrangement?_ "… and I told you that. Nothing has changed since then. Why do you keep bothering?" he said angrily and shut the phone. Silently, I hid behind a tree and waited for him to make his next move.

"Motherfucker," he said and kicked the lawn. "You think you can mess with my head? Well fuck you!" he hissed and started back to the house. " _'I'm so very sorry, William. I never meant to hurt you or anyone,'_ " he mocked with a heavy voice, imitating God knows who.

Suddenly, Sunny started barking happily and ran toward me.

"Go," I whispered and shoved him out of my hiding spot. The damn dog bit my jeans and started playing. "Go, you stupid dog," I whispered and snatched my leg from his mouth.

"Sunny!" Will called angrily. "No time for games. You took your dump, now inside."

Sunny instantly obeyed him and followed him but not before he looked in my direction once more. Once I made sure that both of them were inside, I came out of my hiding spot. I ran my hands through my hair and paced for a bit. Who was he talking to? Should I be worried? Maybe he was talking to Jason or Julie. Julie! Maybe they had a fight. I frowned as I remembered he'd mentioned an arrangement. What sort of arrangement could he have made with Julie apart from not French kissing each other?

"Ah, fuck!" I sighed. It was pointless.

I waited a few more minutes and headed into the house. I grabbed a glass and poured some scotch, then gulped the damn thing down and let the burn take over. I needed to speak with him seriously. I could always ground him for not being honest or find a reason, small or big. Either way, he would tell me or else I'd have to take drastic measures. I already got the number of one of Garrett's friends who 'happened' to be a child psychologist, specializing in troubled teenagers. Was I overreacting? Fuck yes, but he was my kid. I could feel and do whatever I wanted. I would turn the world upside down if I had to.

Taking a deep breath, I climbed the stairs two at a time to go to him. Without warning, I opened the door and found him sitting on his bed, holding his head in his hands, tugging his hair furiously. I knew he heard me coming. I made sure to make some noise. I sat right in front of him and waited for him to speak… but he said nothing, and cried instead. It broke me to pieces to watch him fall apart.

"Son?" I whispered and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm tired," he said emotionless, not meeting my gaze. "I want to sleep."

"Will, please. Let me help you. Talk to me," I said desperately.

"You can't," he said and looked at me. "No one can. This is something I have to figure out on my own."

"For fucks sake," I said frustrated. "You're thirteen! You don't have to figure anything out on your own. You're a child, you're my son, and you're hurting. Tell me, please!"

He tried to cover up himself with his sheet and I grabbed it from his hand. He sat up again and glared, fucking _glared_ at me. "Wanna help? Go find Ma and talk to the babies! You're good at that!" he spat and turned his back on me.

"You know what, kiddo?" I said and got up. He had pissed me off. "I try to be both your friend and father at the same time. I give you space when I know you need it and I cover up your shit to your Ma. Don't even think for a second that I don't know you've skipped practices and Italian. I know everything you do," I continued angrily. "Ever since we told you about the babies, you've been acting like a freakin' brat.

"Did I do something that pissed you off? Don't I try to give you everything as your dad?" I yelled. "I let you swear even though I fought with your Ma countless times about it. That's our thing. That's what I keep telling her. There isn't a thing in the world I wouldn't do for you, man. I do anything you ask of me, and I get what in return? Nothing!"

"What's going on?" Ma asked as she rushed breathless into the room. I didn't respond.

"You can't make anything right! You're not God!" Will yelled at me.

"Do not raise your voice at me!" I hissed. "And since I can't do anything right as you put it, as of tomorrow you're grounded for two weeks. No friends allowed. I want your laptop, cell phone, and Playstation in the living room by the time you wake up! If you want to contact me or your Ma while we're not here, you ask Nana to call us. If I suspect you're out of the house during your grounding, I'll double the time. You're allowed to leave the house only for practice and Italian. Have I made myself clear?" I asked firmly. He didn't respond. "I asked if I made myself clear!"

"Crystal," he said as his green eyes sparkled with anger.

I left his room without saying anything else. I stormed into mine and shut the door loudly. I knew he'd be more pissed off at me for grounding him but he had to learn his lesson. We might have a certain relationship but he had to understand that no matter what I still was his father and he ought to respect me. His mistake wasn't that big but still...

"Care to explain what that was all about?" Ma asked, as she entered my bedroom.

"Ma, please not now," I said without looking at her.

"Don't you think that your punishment was a bit hard? I know that your reasoning wasn't just because he yelled at you."

"Ma, I said not now," I sighed and rubbed my temples.

From the corner of my eye I saw her shaking her head lightly as she turned to leave. "Tell me you're not alike."

**≈ **Ж≈****

Two weeks later, Will's grounding was complete, and if I said it hadn't been an interesting couple of weeks, I'd be lying. Bella didn't take the news of Will's grounding very well but she didn't question me. I didn't lie to her but I didn't tell her the whole thing: just that he was disrespectful and that he yelled at me for no reason. Whether she liked it or not, Bella took my side and added herself to Will's shitlist. My son acted normally toward me when his mother was in his presence but when she wasn't, he completely ignored me.

Of course, two could play that game and I always won. You see, being a cop sometimes had its perks. After my behavior started matching his, Will tried to approach me a couple of times but I knew he wouldn't. He always chickened out at the last minute. I could see him, begging me with his eyes to help him but he wouldn't talk. My hands were tied.

Charlie surprised us with an unexpected visit a few days later. Having him around made me feel better. He was a man and a father so I could talk to him freely and ask for advice. It's different when a mother's perspective was involved. When Bella got back from her shift that day, he gathered all four of us for a family meeting.

" _You must be wondering why I came without warning," he sighed._

" _You don't need a reason to visit, Daddy," Bella said, as she got up and sat on his lap. Charlie grunted but not before winking at me. "Jesus, Bells."_

" _Don't think I didn't see that wink, Mister," she laughed and hugged him._

" _There'ssome news I want to share with you and I can only hope that you'll be happy and support my decision," he said seriously as he patted Bella's bump._

" _Charlie, what is it?" I asked._

" _I'm retiring," he started quickly. "I know I'm only fifty-years old and that I still have a lot to offer as Chief of Police but in reality, I'm tired. I want to enjoy life and not work all the time. I want to spend whatever is left of it with my family, play with my grandkids. Bells you've been gone since you were eighteen. You're thirty-one and apart from four years in total, I didn't get the chance to enjoy having you around. I know you have your own life and I swear that I won't bot-"_

" _Don't you dare finish that sentence, Chief," I said forcefully. "You will never be a bother. When will you understand that?"_

" _Okay, okay," he chuckled. "Stop reprimanding the elder."_

" _Elder my ass," Ma said out loud and everything fell silent. We stood gaping at her. Charlie burst out laughing and Ma followed._

" _Do you expect me to keep my manners when these two," she said pointing between Will and me "…live under the same roof? Not to mention that it gets far worse when Emmett is around."_

" _You'll stay with us," Will insisted. "We have loads of space and the rooms are more than enough."_

_Charlie was about to protest but Bella cut him off. "You can't refuse this. If you want to have your own place at some point, you can stay here with us until you find it."_

" _Okay," he said and looked at me briefly._

" _Are you going to sell the house in Forks?" I asked._

" _No. Angela suggested it was better to rent it out. You know, extra money and all," he answered._

_Ma tapped her finger on her lips and looked Charlie. "When are you planning on moving here?"_

" _I was thinking in a couple of weeks. I want to clear some things out at the station and I'm all done."_

" _And when are you thinking of renting the house?"_

" _Well, there are a few things that need to be fixed before finding a real estate agency to take over. Why?"_

" _Well next month, the shelter is having a benefit and I'm invited. I was thinking maybe I could stay with you since there's nowhere for me to go," she said sadly._

" _Say no more, Esme," he said. He winked at me again and grunted as he tried to get something from the pocket of his jeans. "Um, Bells, you know I love you and all, but a little help would be nice," he said and pushed her lightly from his lap._

_Bella face flared and I couldn't hold it any longer. I started laughing. The look she gave me was enough to make me stop instantly. Angry pregnant Bella was a scary sight to behold. Moody Bella was manageable but angry with raging hormones? Yikes! Will laughed when he saw the look and she glared at him._

" _Hope you're not to attached with you saxophone, baby," she said with a dangerous smile. Will disappeared within seconds._

_Bella sat down next to me and leaned toward me. "No sex for a week!" she hissed._

_Fuck!_

" _This," Charlie said and handed Ma a key, "…is the spare to my house. Now it's yours."_

The phone's ringing shook me out of my thoughts. I looked at the clock, saw that it was past noon, and answered the call.

"Hello?"

" _Mr. Cullen?_ " Julie said.

"Hey, Juls. How are you honey?"

She sniffled. " _I'm okay. Sir is William there? I've been trying to call him but I can't get a hold of him_."

"Yes, he is. Let me get him for you," I said. "Will," I called. "Julie is on the phone." I waited but I didn't get an answer. "Will!"

I sighed. "Julie, I think he's in the bathroom and can't hear me. How about I tell him after he gets out and have him call you?"

" _Thanks_ ," she whispered and hung up.

I went upstairs and knocked on his door. When I didn't get a response, I opened it and saw that he wasn't inside. There were no sounds coming from the bathroom either. I went back to his bedroom and from his window, I checked the back yard, only to see Sunny sitting outside his doghouse. He wasn't home. Where could he have gone?

When I called Emmett, he informed me that he hadn't seen Will since yesterday, so my next move was to call Ma.

" _Maybe he went for his morning run, Edward,"_ Ma said. " _You know that he likes to run at this time. Besides, with him being grounded for two weeks, he probably needed to release some of the tension. He'll be fine."_

With a brief goodbye, I hung up the phone. I tried to call him a couple of times but with no luck. He had his cell switched off.

' _Maybe he doesn't want to be disturbed during his run,'_ I thought to myself. But still, whenever he left, he always said so or left a note. ' _Had you not grounded him for two fucking weeks, he might have done so_ ', was my mental response. I went into his room again and sat on his bed. I needed to fix this. I missed him and I know that if I hadn't reacted the way I did that day, there was a chance he might have opened up to me and told me what troubled him.

I noticed that he had one of his favorite books on his nightstand: The Great Gatsby. As I picked it up to start reading it while I waited for him, a note fell to the floor. I reached for it and saw something that seemed like an address but I wasn't sure though.

_S.M_

_5308 N_

_L. Av  
_

_._

For some reason, the location was familiar but I didn't know why. I fired up his laptop and Googled the address. And just like that, the air left my lungs. What. The. Fuck? What was my son doing in hookers' motel? It was far away from our house not to mention that he had no business going to one. My mind started running a million miles an hour and I remembered a discussion Emmett and I had not so long ago.

" _I'm not taking him to a hooker, you dipshit. He's thirteen, for fuck's sake!"_

" _I banged my first chick when I was thirteen. What's wrong with that?" he asked incredulously._

" _He's not gonna waste his first time on a ho," I said angrily. "He needs to do this when he wants and is ready."_

" _Well, when he starts waking up sporting wood or panicking as he tries to find sheets so he can change them before his Ma sees…"_

" _That's a low blow man and you know it. It only happened once and it's not my fault. You were the one who tied me down to a chair and made me watch a porn movie. I was fourteen, Emmett!"_

"Fucking Emmett!" I hissed and grabbed the phone.

He picked up after the first ring. " _Missed me already?_ "

"Did you take my son to a hooker?" I growled.

" _Come again?_ "

"I asked if you took my son to a hooker, Emmett!"

" _Are you out of your fucking mind, Ed? Why would I do that?_ " he said, clearly offended. " _I was joking when we had that conversation, asshole._ "

"Fuck," I hissed.

" _What the hell is going on?"_

"I found an address written by him and looked it up. It's a motel for working girls. I need to go," I rushed and hung up.

I grabbed my car keys and badge and I was out of the house in no time. I started driving like a lunatic, trying to get to that seedy hotel as soon as possible. I would tear him to pieces if I found him in there. I tried to call him again but his phone went straight to voicemail.

"Move it, fucker!" I hollered as a stupid car in front of me was going at snail's pace.

The monster's tires screeched as I parked the car. I shot out and ran inside. Behind a desk was a man, mid forties, bald with a huge stomach that not even his extra long shirt was able to cover it. I took out the picture of William that I kept in my wallet and shoved it at him.

"Have you seen this boy?" I asked.

"No," he said without looking the picture. I took out my badge, slammed it on the desk and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"I'm gonna ask again. Have you seen this boy?" The fucker started sweating bullets, looked at the picture, and said nothing. "I swear to God if you don't start singing, I will have this piece of shit "motel" shut down in no time."

"No," he said and stood back angrily.

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes," he said. "He hasn't been here since I arrived. "The only one in this shit hole is a man named Greg something and he arrived this morning. I haven't seen him."

"I'll fucking kill you if you're lying! I'll be back, mark my words!" I snarled and left.

As I sat in my car, my hands started shaking. Something was wrong, so very wrong. Why would Will have this address? Why would he leave without saying a word? How long had he been gone? I was losing it. Bella was at work and Ma had no idea where he was. I'd been trying to call him and not once did he answer.

I'd been on the road for a few hours but to no avail. I couldn't find him. What was wrong with him? I knew that the babies were a big deal but I never thought it would affect him like that. Maybe Ma was right: teens were moody and needed some space. I could totally understand that but he could always come to me no matter what. I would never love him less because we were expecting.

Where was my son? My hands tightened around the steer wheel and my eyes became blurry. It was my fault that he was gone. I should have paid more attention to him since we told him, I shouldn't have flaunted my infatuation with Bella's bump in front of him. I should have maintained neutral behavior.

"Please, God," I cried. "Please help me find him."

Just then, my phone rang and I answered without checking caller ID. I knew it was him.

"Will!" I cried.

" _D-da_ ," he choked. " _D-daddy_ ,"

"Please tell me where you are," I said frantically through my tears. "I've been going nuts!"

" _Everyone step aside,"_ I heard a man say. " _The ambulance will be here in a few minutes._ "

"Will, are you hurt?" I asked but all I could hear was his crying.

_"Dad, I-I kil-killed him_ ," he wailed.

"Will?"

" _I killed him."_

What the fuck?

"Son, take a deep breath and tell me where you are."

" _At the p-park. Please don't hate me please,"_ he begged. "I _didn't mean to kill him, please._ "

"Who?" I asked, terrified to hear the answer. Did he have a fight with the little punk again? His cries got louder and louder and he kept mumbling not to hate him.

"Will, please tell me," I begged.

" _Carlisle..."_


	21. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.  
> _______________________________________________________________________________
> 
> A/N :
> 
> This chapter contains narration of child abuse. My sincere apologies if this chapter brings back memories that some of you want to forget. I couldn't prevent it since it's important for this chapter.

Have you ever been in the position of not knowing what to do? Feeling so helpless that you wished you could die? Well this was how I felt as I arrived at the park. The medics had just arrived and I ran along with them to get to my son. I found Will sitting next to _him,_ with his head resting on his knees rocking back and forth.

"Will," I called and he looked up when he heard me. I kneeled in front of him and took him in my arms. This was the only thing I could think of, the only thing my boy needed. His body started shaking violently and soon he was wailing.

"He's crashing!" the medic said hurriedly. They pushed medicine in his drip, intubated him and started defibrillation. Once a faint heart beat was heard, the medics loaded him in the ambulance, named the hospital they were taking him to and left. Everything around us seemed to be going in slow motion. I didn't care about anything other than Will. He needed me and I was there. I was dying of curiosity but it would have to wait.

An officer approached us and started asking questions. One woman pointed to Will and the officer walked toward us to get a statement.

"Give us a minute," I whispered and Will nodded. I rubbed his back lightly and kissed the top of his head. "Will?" I said and pulled back to look at him. "The officer here needs to talk to you for a minute, okay?"

Will grabbed my hand and held it in a vice grip. "Don't leave me," he said with a shaky voice.

"Hello there," the officer said. "I'm Officer Ling. What's your name?"

"William Swan," he whispered.

"Can you tell me what happened here?" Officer Ling asked. "You're not in any trouble. I just need it for my report."

"I know," he sniffled. "My grandpa and dad are on the force so I know the drill."

"I'm Officer Cullen," I said and showed him my badge that was still pinned to my belt. "I'm his father."

He smiled. "Nice to meet you. Which is your PD?"

"4th," I sighed.

"5th," he replied. "So, William, lets get over with this, okay? I'm sure you want to go home."

"His name is Carlisle Gregory Cullen and he's my grandfather. Um, he called me this morning in order to meet up with him here. When I arrived, he was waiting for me over there," he said pointing to an iron bench. "We started talking and got into a fight. When I decided I had heard enough, I tried to leave and he followed me. I said some very harsh words, and the next thing I know he is clenching his fist over his chest and faints."

"Can you tell me what you talked about?" the officer asked.

"Is this necessary?" I asked. "He didn't physically harm him so there's no reason for this. That man and my family aren't on good terms. Isn't that enough?" I asked, daring him to continue. He was a kid for fuck's sake!

"That's all. In case I need anything else, I'll contact you, officer." With a nod, he left.

Will was silent as he watched the officer leave. I knew that he wanted to talk as he knew that I had questions. The most important one was what the hell he was thinking. I forbade him to see or talk to Carlisle and he did the exact opposite. Why? What had he told my son to make him change his mind? After a brief talk we had the day Bella and I told him about the restraining order against Carlisle, he was adamant about not wanting to ever see or talk to him.

"I know you have questions," he whispered, "…but can we do this later? We need to go to the hospital."

"No, we just need to go home," I said as soothingly as possible.

"Dad, please," he begged. "I need to make sure he is okay. I did this to him."

Knowing I wouldn't change his mind, I agreed, much to my dismay. During the drive, neither of us said anything. Believe it or not, this was the first time I didn't know what to say. I only had questions and I knew that even if I asked them, I wouldn't have them answered.

As soon as I parked, Will shot out of the car like a bat out of hell. I sighed and debated whether I should call someone or not. Choosing the latter, I searched for Will.

"His name is Carlisle Cullen," Will said angrily to a nurse.

"I'm telling you that there isn't anyone admitted under that name," she replied irritated.

When Will opened his mouth to speak again, I interrupted.

"Hello," I asked and smiled at her. "A man was brought here a few minutes ago, mid-fifties. He had a cardiac episode, I assume?"

"The admittances haven't been recorded yet," she said and rubbed her forehead. "Give me a minute to check, okay?" she asked and I nodded in response.

"Will," I whispered. "You need to tone it down a notch, okay? I know you're worried but being rude to the wrong people won't help you. Trust me."

"Okay," he said. "Do you think it'll be long before we know anything?"

"I've no idea, kiddo," I sighed and sat on a small couch waiting for the nurse to come. Will sat opposite me and lowered his head. The guilt he was feeling was probably overwhelming. I knew my son. Ten minutes later, we were still basically in the dark. The nurse came back saying that they were working on Carlisle. The silence that followed was pure discomfort. I wanted to talk to him but had no way of starting this conversation.

"It sort of started after Ma and you got the restraining order," Will began. "At first, I didn't want to see or talk to him. A couple of weeks after the order ended, I was on lunch break at school. While I was waiting for Julie and Jason, I looked outside the window and saw him hiding behind a small tree line, looking at the children going out to the yard. I was scared to death because at first I thought that he came to take me- not that he would've succeed, of course. I didn't want him there to be honest but I didn't have guts to go and tell him so."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have asked for another restraining order," I said frustrated. That fucker had been around my kid for so long and I had no fucking idea.

"I didn't want you to get in trouble. Things were generally calm, and Nana wasn't crying anymore. Why the hell would I want to upset it all just because he was watching me without making any moves to approach me?"

By his logic, he was correct. I saw it differently. I could understand that he cared about us but he was more important than anyone. I didn't give a shit if my tranquility was disturbed if I had to protect him.

"Everyday he would be at the same hiding spot, making no moves. He would just watch. I never got the impression that he was planning something against me. He always had the same sad, desperate look. About ten days after I first saw him, I decided to confront him. He was on my turf and couldn't do a thing. That day, I skipped lunch and right before he arrived, I hid close to his hiding spot and waited for him. To be honest when he arrived, I was so close to leaving without talking to him but then I thought about the things he did to you and Ma and Nana," he said and his eyes flashed with anger. "I heard you talking one day to Ma about the way he treated Nana."

My breath caught in my throat. He knew everything: things we tried so hard to hide from him to protect him. We decided not tell him the part about Ma. We figured if she wanted him to know when he was older, then she would be the one to tell him.

"Will…"

"I got so angry, so I went behind him and shoved him. He was so surprised. His face paled as he was perfectly sure that I hadn't seen him. I told him to leave and never to come back. I left and he never came back, at least not to the school, but then he got my cell number and started calling me. I have no idea how he did. The only thing he asked was to give him a few minutes so he could talk to me. I refused and he kept calling and calling.

"The only person who knew about this was Julie. We were reading for our lit test and he called again. I picked it up once again and spoke my mind. I told him he didn't deserve a second chance because he was simply a man who only cared about himself. I was so angry. I tried to understand why he wasn't getting the fact that I didn't want to talk to him. Remember that day at Garrett's where we played the name game and he didn't ask me about Carlisle? I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I thought that maybe if he hadn't had a father like Gregory, then he wouldn't be like this. Boys look up to their fathers," he mumbled and looked at me. "I look up to you. You're kind, loving, caring. He was anything but that. You had him for a father and you aren't anything like him. Maybe if he had these things as a child, then he wouldn't be mean."

He was killing me with the things he was saying. How was it possible to be so rational at that age?

"But that was until I overheard your conversation with Ma. How could he even think of touching Nana? She's harmless and so full of love. I needed a second opinion so I talked with Julie that day. We spent hours talking and when I was done, she only told me one thing: people change. Maybe he'd change, maybe not, and that I wouldn't know until I let him talk to me. So after a lot of thinking, I called him and asked to meet him."

"When did that happen?" I asked as I tried to think of a day we had left him alone.

"Remember the day you and Ma went to help Nana pick up things for the bakery? I didn't come that day because I told you that I wanted to go to Jason's," he said and his eyes brimmed with tears. "It killed me to lie to you because I'd promised you back when I was in the hospital that I'd never to lie to you again but I did and I'm so very sorry. I wanted to make my own decision. I wanted to finally be able to tell him what he did to _me_ when he chased Ma away from you," he finished and started crying. "My God, Dad, when he saw me, the first thing he asked was if you were okay. You! Not Nana, not me, not anyone else. You."

That sick fuck used my son's weakness for me. He loved his mother to no end but I was his weak spot and there was no better way to manipulate a child than that. Son of a bitch!

"I was so scared at that moment. I thought that he tried to harm you while I was there with him. I started yelling at him, asking why he would ask about a son that he didn't give a shit about. As I took out my phone to call you, he swore that he hadn't done anything and that he asked about you because he thought that it was a good way to begin our conversation. Idiot! Why would he think that?" he asked and waited for an answer I didn't have.

"I don't know, Will. I was never able to understand what that man thought. To some extent, I was able to understand his actions, but never his mind." I patted the spot next to me and Will got up instantly and sat next to me.

"What I want to know is why you didn't tell me? I'm your dad. No matter what you do, I'll stick by your side- you must know that. Carlisle isn't a man that should be dealt with by a boy of your age. I know that you want to start handling things on your own kid, but that man…"

"Do you think I don't know that? But he started following me everywhere. He was lurking around the corners just to see me and nothing more. He never tried to do anything other than talk to me," he cried. "I didn't want to scare Ma, and then there were the babies to consider. Nana had finally put everything behind her and you… Garrett helped you so much and mentioning these encounters to you would only prevent you from healing completely. I searched online about people who do therapy. This was one reason out of many that would hold you back. I couldn't do that to any of you. I love you all too much."

"Kiddo…" I started with a broken voice.

"Please, Dad," he pleaded, "just let me finish." I nodded and he took a shaky breath. "After you told me about the babies, without realizing it, I started noticing your behavior toward Ma. You were over the moon, smiling like an idiot all the time," he chuckled through his cries, "… and you were talking to her tummy. That broke my heart not out of jealousy but out of anger. That vicious man took that from you the first time. He stole tiny moments like that one because he though he was superior to everyone. I wanted to tell him that. So I called him.

"He was surprised to hear from me. He laughed and said I was too much like you and for a moment he thought it might be a trap and you'd show up instead of me. When I promised that no one would ever know about that meeting, I skipped practice and Italian and met with him in the small park across from my school. I arrived there and waited for about ten minutes. He was there hidden because he was afraid that you might appear from somewhere. He apologized for doing that, of course, and then stayed silent and just looked at me. I swear on my life that his eyes were full of tears as he observed me."

A door opened and Will shot up from his chair. He groaned when he saw that it was just a guy with a cast on his arm. "The waiting is killing me," he frowned and plopped down on the couch again, and ran his hand through his messy mop of brown hair. "Anyway, after he was done ogling me, he smiled sadly and said that I had your eyes. Not once did he mention the traits I got from Ma… only the ones related to you. I started getting irritated after a moment because he was wasting my time. All I wanted were answers. So I started firing questions: why he acted like that, why he hated my Ma so much, why he treated Nana as if she was a scum.

"He sighed heavily and started explaining how differently he grew up from the rest of the children, how his family- mostly his father- came from a very strict environment, influenced by his own father. I mean, old school and all. Then he explained that as a little boy, he wanted to grow and be like his father: charming, wealthy, powerful. He was his father's pride and joy until he met Nana. Carlisle said that he fell in love with her the moment he saw her. He and a couple of his school mates went to a small café after they finished university one day. Nana was working there as a waitress at the time. He approached her and the rest was history. He had to fight his family for her. Gregory threatened he would disown him but he didn't care. He loved Nana enough to leave his family."

That was true. Ma had told me the first two years of their marriage they struggled but they were happy. What changed that? I had no idea. She didn't even know how father and son reunited after the two year gap. She just remembered Carlisle coming home from the University, asking her to make something nice for dinner because his parents would be having dinner with them.

"Carlisle," Will continued, taking me out of my thoughts, "…explained that after he was done from school one day, he came out of the facilities and saw his father waiting for him. He apologized for acting the way he did and that he wanted them to be on good terms, even though he got married to Nana. The time went by normally after that and he was happy. Nana got pregnant and their happiness was complete with the child. Until she lost it," he sniffled. "She had a nervous breakdown because she wanted that baby and after they found out she couldn't have any, it set them back. He to- told me that Nana wanted to die and she almost d-did," he whispered..

I inhaled deeply. With Will knowing this information, it only meant one thing: Carlisle had told him everything. That son of a bitch had managed once again to fuck up everything. He shouldn't have said to say those things to my son. He had no right to even be close to him. My anger arose again, thinking of how he damaged my boy by saying these things. He didn't even care that he was a just a kid.

"After a while, he got to talking about you and Uncle Emmett. He didn't want to give me much information about the time he found you at the hospital," Will said and rubbed his temples. "But I told him that if he wanted a second chance, then he would tell me everything." _Fuck!_ "He insisted that he wouldn't. I bid him goodbye and then he sighed, saying he would tell me. Uncle Emmett was hurt a lot. Carlisle explained that he intervened in order to prevent that sick man from putting his hands on you. Once you were done being examined, they took you to the room you would share with your brother. As you waited there, Carlisle came inside…"

I closed my eyes and found myself back at that day… I was only five.

" _Emmett!" I wailed. "I want my Emmie!"_

" _Please, sweetheart," a woman in white said. "He'll be here soon. The doctors are taking care of him."_

_That made me cry even more. "Emmett!"_

" _It's okay, Gloria," a man with a funny hat said. It had bunnies and flowers on it. "I'll take it from here," he smiled._

_The mean lady that kept me away from my brother left and the man approached my bed slowly. "Hello there," he said and he took something out of his pocket. "Do you know what that is?" he asked. I nodded. "Do you know what it's called?"_

" _Glove," I whispered._

_He smiled. "It is indeed," he said and sat closer to me. He looked at the door and then turned back to me. "Can you keep a secret?" he said seriously. I nodded again. I didn't like secrets. Mommy always said to keep a secret that Daddy was mean. "This is a magic glove," he whispered._

_I gasped. "How?"_

" _I will show you but I'm afraid I need you to close your eyes. Can you do that for me, Edward?"_

" _I will," I said and looked down. "Will my brother get a magic glove too?"_

" _He will definitely get one. Scouts honor. Now close your eyes," he said and smiled._

_I shut my eyes as I was told and waited. My leg was hurting me so much but I didn't tell him. Daddy told me not to make a sound. With my eyes closed, I rubbed it and waited for the pain to go away. Emmie always rubbed my back when it hurt. Sometimes Daddy would hit me with his belt there and it would sting. Emmett made it better._

" _You can open them now," the man said._

_My eyes widened as I saw what he was holding. The glove was magical! It turned into a happy face. It had green eyes, a mouth with the front teeth missing like me!_

" _Wow!"_

" _See?" the man said. "I told you it was a magic glove and I never lie! Do you like it?"_

_I nodded, never taking my eyes of the balloon. "Can I keep it?" I asked shyly._

" _Of course you can. Magic gloves don't appear to anyone you know," he said. He placed his hand on my leg and I screamed. "Is your leg hurt, champ?"_

_I whimpered and nodded. "Please don't tell Daddy that I told you. He will be mean again," I said and started crying. "Then Emmett will try to get in the way and he'll hurt him."_

_I looked at the man and I saw his eyes getting red. Why were his eyes red? "I promise. Will you let me look at it? I want to make it better."_

_I sniffled and uncovered it. It was red and fat. He touched it and I tried to move it but it hurt when I did. "We need to take a picture of it and see the bone. Do you want to see your leg, champ? I swear it won't hurt at all."_

" _Okay," I said and soon another man with a machine came to the room. He placed a black plate under my leg and asked me not to move. My reward was a lollypop which I saved it for my brother. He loved candy._

" _What is your favorite color?" the man asked. "We have to put your leg into a cast to make it better. It will be itchy most of the time, but in a month you'll be able to run. Since you'll be waiting, why don't we have your favorite color on it?"_

" _Do you have it in yellow? It's Emmett's favorite color," I said hoping he would say yes. The man cleared his throat and looked outside the window._

" _Sure, champ," he said and left. Later that day, I was admiring my yellow leg. I liked it. Emmett wasn't back but the man said that when the doctors would finish with him, they'd bring him here. I missed him so much._

" _Is he hurt badly?" I asked in a small voice._

" _Not that bad. He had a big scratch on his back and the doctors had to make him sleep so they could fix him."_

" _Oh."_

_The man spent the rest of the morning with me, not leaving unless he had to go and bring me some water or something we could eat. I wanted to sleep so much but I wanted to wait for Emmett. We never slept apart._

" _Sleep, Edward," the man whispered and turned off the light, leaving on only the one beside my bed._

" _Emmett?"_

" _I will wake you up when he's here," he said and ran his hands through my hair. He took off his blue shoes and lay next to me. "Come," he said and placed his large hand around my shoulder._

" _Sir?" I asked._

" _Yes?"_

" _What's your name?"_

" _Carlisle," he said before I slept._

"He was very upset," Will whispered. "It was the first time he came across a child abuse case. He stayed there with you when you slept. He said you had nightmares of the attack and it broke his heart because a child shouldn't be treated like that. While you were sleeping that night, you did something unconsciously," he continued. "You hugged him and mumbled something about warm. That was when he decided to talk to Nana about Uncle Emmett and you."

" _Hello, Dr. Carlisle," I smiled. I had just finished my lunch and Emmett was eating ice-cream._

" _How are my boys today?" he asked._

" _I'm good. A lady came today," I frowned. "She said that since we're okay, she will take us to a house where we can play with other kids. I don't want to go."_

_He picked up Emmett's tray and put it on a small table. "Emmett, why don't I call the nurse to take you to the eye doctor? He wants to check the reddening through a funny machine. Is that okay?"_

" _Will I get a lollypop again?" Emmie smiled big._

" _Hmm," Dr. Carlisle said, tapping his chin. "How about some cheese cookies instead? It's Edward's favorite…"_

" _Will they have that super cream as well?" he asked hopefully._

" _Most likely."_

" _Call them," he said excitedly._

_Emmett wasn't long gone when Dr. Carlisle turned to look at me. I think he wanted to say something because he kept opening and closing his mouth. He ran his hand over his forehead and sighed._

" _Edward, can I ask you something?" he asked and I nodded. "Would you like to meet someone very special to me?"_

_My eyes widened. "Is she your mommy?"_

_He chuckled and shook his head. "No, she's not my mommy. She's my wife. Do you know what a wife is?" I shook my head._

" _Eh… when two people love each other very much, they get married. When they do, they're called husband and wife. They love each other until they grow old, have children and then grandchildren," he said._

" _Oh," I said and looked down. "Will she like me? What about Emmett? He can be very loud."_

_Dr. Carlisle smiled. "She knows all about Emmett and how loud he can be, so how about it? Can I ask her to come in?"_

" _She's here?" I asked._

" _Right outside," he said, pointing at the door. "She even made your favorite cookies."_

" _Okay," I whispered and he got up and opened the door._

_A few seconds later, a woman with light brown hair and large gray eyes appeared on the door. She was so beautiful and her smile was big. Dr. Carlisle stood behind her and whispered something in her ear. I didn't hear what he said but the woman nodded and brushed away a tear. Why was she crying? I wanted to hug her. Whenever I cried, Emmett hugged me and I would stop._

_I lifted my hand and told her silently to come. She turned to look at the doctor and he smiled and nodded. Slowly, she came toward me and placed a plastic box on the table. She sat on my bed and looked at me._

" _You must be Edward," she said._

_I nodded. "What's your name?"_

" _My name is Esme," she replied and her eyes were watery again._

_I took her hand in mine and tugged her to me. I placed my hands around her neck and hugged her as tightly as I could. She hugged me back and held my head in her hand and made circles on my back with the other hand. She smelled so sweet and her touch was so soothing._

" _You smell like Mommy," I whispered. Ms. Esme made a funny noise and she started rocking me more. I felt something wet on my cheek and I looked up. She was crying again. "Don't cry," I said._

" _Edward?" Ms. Esme said lightly._

" _Yes, Ms. Esme?"_

" _Did you like the cookies Carlisle brought you two days ago?"_

" _They were yummy," I said and smiled shyly._

" _Would you like to eat cookies like that more often?"_

" _Yes," I said, not understanding why she was asking something like that._

" _Can you keep a secret? It was supposed to be a surprise for your brother and you but I can't keep it any longer," she said and kissed my head. "I will tell your brother when he comes back so act as if you didn't know, okay?"_

" _I don't like secrets," I whispered._

" _This is a happy secret, sweetheart," she said and smiled._

_There were happy secrets as well? Wow!_

" _Okay," I said and waited._

" _You won't go to that house the other lady told you about."_

" _We won't?"_

_She shook her head. "You will come and live with Carlisle and me if that's okay with you."_

_Dr. Carlisle was standing next to the door and slowly walked and sat in front of me. I looked into his eyes for a few minutes and he looked at me back. "Are you going to be my daddy?" I asked._

" _If want me to," he said and his eyes started getting red._

_My leg wasn't hurting anymore, so I shifted myself and hugged him so hard. "I want you to be my daddy."_

" _I will never fail you, Edward," he said and squeezed me in his arms. "I swear to God, I'll never fail any of you."_

My hands started shaking as I remembered things I had forgotten. Apart from the first three years, he did everything in his power to fail us. He was disappointed if our grades were less than perfect, he never came to any of Emmett's games, He always judged our friends- well Emmett's friends mostly since I never had any- forgot our birthdays or worked most of the seasonal holidays.

"Everything started when Gregory's wife died and he moved to Forks. He was depressed and dragged Carlisle down with him and made him into the man he became. He was bitter with his pathetic life and no one else could be happy- not even his own son."

"Will, please stop. I don't want to hear any of this. I only want to know why you went to him. Nothing else," I said. I was mad enough at myself for remembering all these things. I didn't want to fall apart in front of my son. I couldn't allow that.

"I know you do, Dad," he whispered. "I just thought it would be better to tell you the things he told me. That way, maybe you could finally get your answers."

"I know, son, but it's not your job to do it. He should have done it long ago. No! He shouldn't have done any of it because it was just wrong and mixing you in all this is even worse. You're not his messenger for Christ's sake!"

"Throughout the years he developed a drinking problem, and he began to take the anger he felt toward himself out on the wrong people," he continued. "When he told me everything about Nana and why he acted the way he did, I was disgusted. A man should never do that stuff. So I told him to stop calling me. That I complied with his wish to hear him out and that was it. That was our arrangement: to hear what he had to say and then it was my choice whether I wanted him to be around or not. Not yours not anyone else's. I chose the latter, but for some reason he thought I did it out of spite.

"Then you told me about the babies and everything changed. I paid attention how you acted around Ma. The way you smiled every time you saw her belly. And I couldn't help but wonder if you would have been like that with me as well. The day Aunt Ro went to the hospital was the worst as I sat there and watched you. It pissed me off because you shouldn't have been so scared. If you had been there the first time, you wouldn't have felt that way; you would have been able to calm Uncle Emmett down.

"Carlisle didn't have the right to steal any of this away from you no matter what. So he called me that night to apologize again and beg me to give him another chance. Why the hell should I do that anyway?" he ranted as angry tears rolled down his cheeks. "I would have gone the following morning to tell him to fuck off for good but then we got into a fight and you grounded me. That only led to one thing: it made me even angrier because he made us fight and we never do unless it's for a game or the kind of pizza we want.

"So before I handed you my cell, I deleted the logs. I didn't know if you'd go snooping in order to try and find out why I was acting the way I was. I feel horrible for telling you this but as I said I felt the need to finish this whole situation on my own. I didn't want you to be involved with that man no matter the reason.

"After you gave me my phone back, I called him and demanded that he meet me. He was in Seattle and promised me to come as soon as possible. He gave me the name of the hotel where he was staying, but I didn't go. I told him to come to the park. It was much safer ground- at least for me. When he arrived, I told him that my decision was final and that he shouldn't even bother to come here again. That we were happy without him and he had no right to be part of us. I even threatened that I would go to the judge myself and ask for a restraining order. I turned around to leave and he came after me. He was crying, Dad, and begged me to allow him to see me even from afar.

"That was when I lost it. I told him that he never deserved kids like you and Emmett, and maybe that was the reason why God took his first one. That I couldn't even think of a reason why Nana ever married a heartless man like him and that my father deserved nothing less than the best. I yelled at him that I hated him with everything I had because he broke the one person who loved him the most, the one person who even as a kid chose him to be his father; you. After that he clenched his hands over his chest and stopped breathing," Will said. "I regret telling all these things now. Not the words per se but the way I said them. I should have thought that he's old."

I hugged him tightly to my chest and kissed the top of his head. The guilt he was feeling was so strong. There was no chance he was regretting the things he had said or did. He would never regret them and I was sure of it. I knew my son. He needed to be reassured that nothing had or would ever change.

"Do you hate me?" he mumbled.

"Will, there is nothing in the world that can ever make me hate you. You'll always be the best part of me. I can't condone the way you did things and I wish you had talked to me, or any of us, earlier. This was not your cross to bear Will," I said and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he sniffled. "I wanted him to know. He regrets everything he did, but still. He needed to know the full consequence of him taking you away from us." I was about to answer but someone cleared his throat. I looked up and saw a man in scrubs.

"Are you the family of Mr. Cullen?" he asked.

"Yes," I said and started to get up. "I'm his son."

"No, please. Stay seated," he said politely as he dragged a small plastic chair in front of us. "My name is Dr. Bronti and I'm the attending Cardiologist who treated your father," he started. "Mr. Cullen had a severe heart attack. After great efforts we managed to maintain his heart rate and we came across to the main reason he had the heart attack. Your father suffers from Coronary Artery Disease which basically is a narrowing of the small blood vessels that supply oxygen and blood to the heart. It is caused by the buildup of plaque in the arteries of his heart. There are several reasons of why it happened but I will need his medical records in order to tell you for sure," he said.

"How bad is it?" Will asked.

"The prognosis is not good. His heart is very weak and even though he is steady I don't think there is anything that can be done. I'm sure he had the symptoms for a long time so he either neglected his treatment or he never went to the doctor. There are surgical procedures but unless I have his medical file I can't do anything else," he said sincerely. "There was a small edema in his esophagus and he wasn't getting the right amount of oxygen, so the anesthetist had to perform an emergency tracheotomy in order to secure his airway. Once he wakes up he won't be able to speak."

"So I didn't do this to him?" Will asked in a small voice.

"No, you didn't. It was bound to happen soon, and to be honest with the way his heart is right now I wonder how it didn't happen earlier," the doc answered gently.

"Can we see him?" Will asked tiredly.

"For the time being, no," the doctor said. "He will be kept in a medically induced coma in order to stabilize his blood pressure and then slowly we will wake him up. Once we're done with some more specialized exams he will be transferred to the ICU."

I was sweating bullets at that moment. Fucking hell!

"Dad, do you want some water?" Will asked.

My throat was dry and I was perfectly sure that if I tried to talk, I would bleed. What the fuck was I supposed to do now? How would I tell everyone? I didn't care if that piece of shit died. I was worried how the rest, especially Ma, would react. I knew she still loved him - not the man he became but the one he once was. What would I tell her? Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!

"Dad!" Will called again and shook my shoulder. "Are you okay? Do you want some water?"

I nodded.

Once he was gone I looked at the doctor. "Is there some sort of surgery that could be done?" I asked hoarsely.

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Cullen," the doc started. "Even if I tried a small angioplasty he wouldn't make it. The damage is beyond repair. We will try to keep him as comfortable as possible, but unfortunately you have to be prepared and so should the rest of your family."

"Shit," I whispered and ran my hands over my face.

"I'd still like to have his medical file. As I said before, it would allow me to have a more clear view of his condition."

"Sure," I said and cleared my throat. "I'll contact the family doctor and have him fax you his file."

**≈** **Ж≈**

By the time we arrived home, everyone was there. One look was enough for Bella to know that something had happened. I preferred to eat first and then let them know. We ate in silence but I could feel their eyes on me. Once the dinner was done and the table was clear, we went to the living room.

"Will," I said. "Why don't you go and get some sleep? You're exhausted."

He nodded and got up. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'll be fine kiddo," I said and smiled at him.

His eyes brimmed with tears when he looked at me. He hugged me as if his life depended on it. "I love you, Dad," he chocked. "So very much."

I closed my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. "I love you too, Son. More than life itself. Now go," I said and patted his back.

Once he was gone, I got up, poured some whiskey on a glass and gulped it at once. I turned around and saw Ma and Bella looking at me expectantly. "Something happened today, "I started.

"It's Carlisle, isn't it?" Ma said, taking me by surprise.

I sighed and with that I started telling the events of the day. Bella sat there without saying a word, the shock evident on her pale face. Ma on the other hand was on the verge of having an aneurism; her face was that red. I was yet to tell them that he was dying, but for the time being I chose to let Ma vent.

"What gave him the right to contact William? Wasn't the warning enough?" she snapped. "I mean that man has some sort of dying wish to do something like that. Jesus Christ, that poor boy," she said and started pacing. "His life has been turned upside down the past year and now this?"

"Edward?" Bella whispered.

"What is it sweetheart?" I said, kneeling in front of her.

"I don't want him near Will. We need to contact Lucinda. I want a permanent restraining order," she said and started crying. "I have no idea what to do anymore." I sighed and took her in my arms. It broke me to pieces to see her so fragile.

"Baby, he can't hurt us anymore," I said and kissed her forehead.

"What do you mean he can't hurt us?" Ma said. "Only if he's de…" she started and stopped abruptly. "Edward what did you do?" she asked alarmed.

I rolled my eyes at her. "I didn't do anything, Ma. When Will tried to leave, he followed him. The kid told him some hard truths and Carlisle didn't handle it well. He had a heart attack on the spot."

"Oh my God!" They both gasped.

"The doc in the hospital said that he had a heart attack because he suffers from some Coronary shit," I said.

"Coronary heart disease?" Bella asked.

"Something like that," I sighed. "He probably had it for a long time and that we'd better be prepared," I finished and looked at Ma.

We didn't say anything for a while. I didn't know what to feel. On the one hand we'd finally be free from him, but on the other I wanted him to suffer. Did that make me a horrible person? Most likely, but I didn't care. He was bound to die alone and I think that this was the worse punishment of all. A person's greatest fear is to die alone and he deserved it. Call me cruel or soulless- I wouldn't give a fuck.

"I want to see him," Ma said.

"Ma, you can't; not at the moment. He's in the ICU and in a coma. The doctor sedated him because his blood pressure was very high and they wouldn't be able to lower it if he was awake. He couldn't even breathe properly so the anesthetist did a tracheotomy," I said. "The doc needs his medical files."

"I will call Dr. Banner," she whispered. "Tell me the name of the hospital and the doctor in charge."

"Okay," I said.

**≈ **Ж≈****

The following three days went by in a complete haze. Ma spent the best part of her days at the hospital. She arranged for Carlisle to have his private room and a private nurse during the night. Emmett was the last to find out what had transpired. He had enough on his plate with little D and at the same time tend to Rose and Chase.

"Dad?" Will called.

"In the guest room," I said loudly.

He came inside and looked around. "Pop's is gonna love the room," he said, awed.

"You think so? Nana gave me permission to go wild." I chuckled. "And by going wild she meant only the colors on the wall. She already got the furniture."

"Well, I think you did an excellent job. I like the blue line around the ceiling. It matches with gray," he said and handed me a cup of coffee. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Shoot," I said and took a sip from my cup.

"Can you take me to the hospital?" he asked. "I want to see him and I don't want to sneak."

I sighed. It was the second time he asked me to take him to see Carlisle. "Why Will? There is no reason for you to be there."

"I know, but I need to. Now I know that he was sick, but I feel the need to apologize. If I hadn't been so verbally aggressive he might not have had the heart attack. He is dying, Dad and I think that by forgiving him maybe he has a chance in going to a better place," he said.

"I don't know kid. I have to talk about it with your Mama," I said. He was about to protest but I cut him off at once. "Don't you say another word, William. You've done enough sneaking already. We trusted you, knowing that you're a rational kid. I told you thousands of times that I didn't want you near him and you defied me. I know that you wanted to know things; things that we decided to keep from you because they weren't for your age. I know that you did what you did for me, and I believe you, but Son, you have to understand that you don't have to protect us. We're the parents and it's _our_ duty to protect _you_.

"Now, I think that this subject is closed. Once your Ma comes back from Rose and after we both make sure she's calm, I'll try to talk about it with her. Sneak out and you're in big trouble," I said strictly.

"I promise," he said truthfully.

"Now tell me how things are between you and Juls. Anything you wanna talk about?" I asked in a feeble attempt to change the subject.

His face blushed deeply and he shook his head furiously. I smirked as I remembered when Emmett along with Ma had to give me the birds and the bees talk when I was seventeen. That fucker didn't even have the decency as a father to talk with his son about such things.

"Look, I know that you probably have questions about um… things that may already be happening to you," I started. He groaned and to be honest I felt weird about it.

"Um, is it absolutely necessary to discuss this now?" Will asked and whipped his forehead.

"You know that this is something we need to talk about," I said calmly. "Yes, it's uncomfortable for both of us, but don't you think you need to know a couple of things um… concerning er… specific urges you might feel?"

"Nope," he said quickly and he shot out of the room.

"That went well," I chuckled to myself.

I finished my coffee and went back to finish some last minute details of Charlie's room. As I picked up the paint brush my phone started ringing. It was Ma. I smiled as I knew the reason she was calling.

"If you called to see if I did anything else apart from painting the room the way you instructed, then I'm hanging up," I said and laughed.

" _Ed-dward?_ " she sobbed.

"Ma?"

" _Can you come and pick me up please? I can't drive like this,_ " she cried.

Did he die?

"Did he…" I started but she cut me off.

" _No_." She breathed. " _I fell asleep on the chair and… and…_ " she continued. " _Um, he… Just please come. I can't be here, please,"_ she begged.

"I'll be there in twenty," I said and hung up.

I quickly put my T-shirt on, hollered at Will that I was leaving and flew out of the house. Thankfully, the streets weren't busy, so I managed to get there in fifteen. She was sitting on a wooden bench opposite the hospital, holding her head in her arms. I parked the car and got out, walking toward her not knowing what she was going to tell me.

"Ma," I said and put my hand on her shoulder. She lifted her head and looked at me. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head and sighed. "No," she whispered. "When I came here this morning I ran into Dr. Bronti." She sniffled. "He informed me that Carlisle's condition was stable but that he had yet to wake up. I went to his room and sat there watching him. I don't know what made me but I started talking to him, something I didn't do all these days. I said everything I had buried inside of me, and to be honest I felt so good. I knew that he wasn't in the position of responding but I kept going and it felt so good," she continued. "When I was done I took his hand in mine and rested my head on them. I felt so exhausted so I closed my eyes and fell asleep without realizing it. The monitor started beeping so I woke up and saw that he was awake and that he was looking at me. His hand shook and when he mouthed my name the staff burst into the room and I left."

I kissed the top of her head and smiled at her. "Did it feel good to finally be able to tell him how you felt?"

"I don't know, sweetheart," she said. "Only time will tell."

**≈ **Ж≈****

"Edward, wake up." I heard Bella say.

I opened an eye and saw the time. Three fucking AM. Jesus Christ! I turned around and found Bella sitting on the bed with her back resting at the bed's headboard.

"What it is, baby?" I asked in a hoarse voice. She pouted. Fuck! That wasn't good.

"Are you happy?"

_Huh?_

"What kind of question is that?" I asked, fully awake. "Of course I'm happy. Happy doesn't even cover the way I feel."

"I'm miserable," she said and crossed her hands over her chest. I felt as if someone had sucked the life out of me.

"Wh-what did you just say?"

"I'm miserable!" She cried. "I'm a meatball with legs that wants to devour anything on a plate. I want a piece of caramel cake right now so badly but I can't ask you to go and get it for me. It's too far from home. Will laughed at me when I was stuck on the couch and couldn't get up and on top of that when he finally helped me he told me that I weighed a ton," she said and started sobbing. "I'm horny all the time and ever since the babies kicked you won't even touch me. Alice bought me a vibrator because the same happened to Jasper a few months back. Do you know what happened when I tried to use it?" She wailed. I was too shocked to even open my mouth. "I couldn't reach the destination because I'm too fat!"

Fucking hormones!

"You're not fat my love," I said and kissed her shoulder. "You're carrying our sons and there is nothing more sexy than watching you like that," I continued and caressed her thigh.

"No!" She sniffled and pushed my hand away. "You need to atone for your mistakes!"

_What?_

"Whatever you need love," I said and licked the side of her neck. She moaned and tilted her head to the side. "Just name it."

"I want…" She moaned as I bit her ear lobe. I was so fucking hard. "I want… Jesus, Edward." She gasped as I pinched her nipple and rolled it in my hand. "I want a piece of caramel cake!" I instantly stopped and snapped my head to her only to meet an evil smirk on her lips.

"You're so in trouble when I get back." I huffed and got up. I put my pants on and as I was about to close our bedroom door, she called for me.

"Edward?"

"What?" I said irritated as I tried to adjust my dick.

"Get some extra whipped cream, stallion," she said seductively and I squinted at her.

"Can I lick it off of you?"

"Why do you think I asked for extra?" she asked and winked.

Fucking A!

An hour later I found her sound asleep… engulfed in Will's arms.

Days went by and now I found myself standing at the arrivals of O'Hare. Charlie was due to arrive any minute. Will and Ma organized a small welcome barbeque and I was ordered not to tell anything. Little D was finally released from the hospital the day before and Alice would announce the sex of the baby today. We had a lot to celebrate. I even invited Garrett. After all those sessions, we formed a very close friendship.

"What got you thinking so deep?" I heard Charlie say.

I turned around and hugged the shit out of him. "How good our lives are. It's good to have you here, Chief. Welcome home."

On our way to the house, he asked how everyone was doing. What surprised me was that he wanted to know about Carlisle. Ma never went back after that day. At least that's what she kept telling us. I think that she lied because she didn't want to show any weakness, no matter how small or big it was. I knew that she called the private nurses and the doc for daily updates.

"You know," Charlie started. "Maybe this is your chance to tell him all the things you want him to know."

"No. I don't want to see him or talk to him. I wasn't lying when I said that I was through with him."

"Son, he is dying. Sometimes we need a closure, is all I'm saying," Charlie said, looking out through the window.

"I don't know Charlie. Bella told me the same thing after we took Will to him. He was still in a coma so they couldn't interact. This is something I really need to think about and talk with Garrett," I said truthfully. "If I go he will be able to hear everything and I don't know how to handle that."

"I understand," he said and patted my shoulder. "I hope the family didn't go too far with the surprise party." I snapped my head toward him and found him smiling. "What? You think I don't know Esme and my daughter? Not to mention Alice. I'm not stupid, Son. Old yes, never stupid," he chuckled.

"Just pretend to be surprised." I sighed. "It'll be only the family and Garrett, maybe Marcus and his wife, if he manages to leave the station of course."

I parked the car and got out, helping Charlie with his things. There weren't much since we - and by we I mean Ma - decided that he wouldn't need anything concerning furniture. Ma let it slip one day, after she got a bit tipsy over dinner, that she was planning on renovating Charlie's house and expanding it a bit. He wouldn't look for an apartment until after the babies were born and maybe even not until their first birthday. We would need all the help, and his assistance was a godsend gift along with Ma.

"Surprise!" everyone yelled and Charlie's face turned bright red.

Bella walked as fast as she possibly could since she was growing fast. "Daddy," she whispered and hugged his middle really tight. "I'm so glad that you're here, so very glad," she said and burst into tears.

"Now, now. Why the tears baby girl?" he said as he wiped her cheeks.

"Happy tears, Daddy. Only happy tears," she replied and kissed his cheek.

The barbeque started and it was evident that everyone was having a really good time. As mentioned before, Alice's surprise was more visual than spoken. She was dressed from head to toe with pink, apart from her shoes which were a funny shade of beige. Jasper was scared shitless but elated. Charlie congratulated him and gave him useful tips about handling future boyfriends. Poor Texas paled for a second but he played it cool in front of everyone.

"I don't have issues like that Chief," he said calmly and I smiled.

"Sure thing you don't have, babe." Alice giggled and left to join the rest of the ladies.

"When the time comes, I will bring you to my house and help you clean your rifles," Texas whispered between Charlie and me. "No one is getting near my baby. Fuck that! I will sue the fucker for even looking at her." I threw my head back and laughing loudly.

"I get you, Texas," Emmett smiled and kissed little D's head. "No one will ever be good enough for my baby."

My attention was drawn when I watched Ma and Garrett talking at the other side of the yard. I had asked him a couple of days ago to talk to her because I could see that she was suffering. As if he felt my eyes on him, Garrett looked at me. I furrowed my eyebrows at him and the asshole did what? He got up, placed his chair in front of Ma as if he was hiding her and sat down. Ma reached her purse and opened it. I was pretty sure she took out something and gave it to him because Garrett's hands moved and a few minutes later, he tugged at his hair. He nodded and that was it. Ma got up, hugged him and went inside.

Garrett turned around and motioned for me to join him. Fuck, that wasn't good. I finished my beer in two gulps and excused myself from the rest. I knew that I wasn't going to like the impending conversation. Something in my gut told me that this had something to do with that fucker.

"Can we make this quick?" I asked as I sat down.

"It's up to you Edward." Garrett sighed.

"How is she?"

"Not good," he started. "She feels somewhat guilty for this whole situation."

I gaped at him. "She what?"

"Look, your mother feels like she should have paid more attention to your father. She knew that he had changed but she couldn't imagine the extent. Had she been closer to him, she believes that she would've been able to make him see that he was worth more than Gregory, and that he wasn't his father's son. She thinks she failed him but she can't forgive him either," Garrett said. "She went to see him yesterday."

"Fucking hell," I said angrily. "I knew that she went by the hospital every day but she never managed to go inside the room."

"She told me so," he replied. "She went inside and he was awake. She just sat down and said nothing to him. Since he is not able to speak, the staff gave him a notepad to write to express himself," he continued and unfolded a piece of paper. He looked at it for a moment and turned his gaze on me. "Do you promise not to get angry?"

"Give me that," I said and snatched the paper from his hand.

Only one single thing was written on it: Edward. What the fuck? What the _fuck_? I don't know how long I was staring at it. What was the meaning of this? I got up and started pacing back and forth. What in God's name was I supposed to think? Edward what?

"He wants to see you," Garrett said calmly.

"No!" I said loudly, causing a few heads to turn to our direction. "I won't do that! I'd rather die than go to him!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Edward," he said calmly. "How many times have I told you that you need to do this? I don't want you to go because he asked for you. I want you to go there because you want it! This might be your only chance to have your closure. Your denial to do this is your way of denying to finally letting him go. You have to free yourself from what he did to you, to your son, to Bella."

"This-" I hissed as I threw the piece of paper on the ground, "-is me letting him go!" I said and practically ran into the house.

**≈ **Ж≈****

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Emmett asked.

"No, Brother," I said. "I need to do it myself. I have a son that looks up to me, man. He needs to see that his father isn't a pussy."

"Feeling weak doesn't mean you're a pussy," he said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not weak. I just don't know what to say, how to start. There are things I'd buried inside of me for years, Em and I just don't know how to resurface them."

"You'll find a way as all of us did." He sighed. "I just told him I forgave him for being fucked up. Then I left."

"I don't know if I can forgive him, Bro," I said shaking my head.

"Time to find out then," he said and sat on the couch of the waiting area. "I'll be here when you're done."

"I love you, Emmett," I whispered.

"Love you too, little brother." He smiled. "Now go."

I was a wreck. I knew deep down it was something I had to do. I owed it to myself, Bella, and my son. I knew it would be very awkward; he would be able to see me but not speak to me. I would finally be able to tell him how I felt and even though I should feel angry, I didn't. This was my final closure.

I opened the door and entered the room. The person that was lying on the bed reminded me nothing of my father. He was thin, pale like a sheet, and hooked up with machines that kept him alive. Dr. Bronti was kind enough to prepare Carlisle for my arrival. He was afraid that he might have an episode if I entered without his knowledge. His private nurse got up and greeted me. She said that she'd be outside in case he needed something and left. I took the seat that she occupied before and lifted my head toward him.

"Hello, Carlisle."


	22. Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

He took a deep breath and his eyes brimmed with tears. The machine beeped once and then twice until it found a steady rhythm. He pressed a button in the remote that was in his hands and the bed started rising. When he was comfortable enough he sighed heavily.

"It's so weird to talk to you and not being able to talk back," I said and averted my eyes from him. "The doc says that you're stable."

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out. I had a text message from my girl. It made me smile: _You're a strong man and I love you so much. Take your time; I'll be here…waiting._ I sighed. She was my rock- always there for me. Minutes dragged and I didn't utter a single word. I wanted to say so many things and I couldn't find a way. As I looked around the room, my attention was caught by something half hidden under his pillow. It was a picture. I took it out and the memory instantly hit me.

_It was our first Christmas together and the house shone with thousands of lights. I was able to walk better since the cast was long gone and wasn't limping that much. Emmett was inside the kitchen with Mommy Esme, eating freshly made chocolate chip cookies while I was sitting in the living room drawing a picture for my new daddy. He always liked everything I made for him and took them to work with him._

" _What are you doing here champ?" dad said. I jumped from my seat and ran to him._

" _You came," I said._

_He picked me up and hugged me tightly. "I promised to come as fast as possible so here I am," he smiled. "Did you think I would miss our first Christmas as a family?" I shook my head. "Good."_

" _Dad!" Emmett said loudly. "Look it's snowing! Can we make a snowman please?"_

" _Hello to you too Emmett," he grinned. "And yes we can," dad continued and looked at mommy Esme who was standing at the kitchen door, smiling widely. "Why don't we go and search the fridge and find a big carrot?"_

" _Hm," mommy said tapping her finger on her chin. "I don't think we have."_

_I pouted sadly. We couldn't make a snowman without a carrot. It was very important. I wiggled out of daddy's arms and stood in front of him._

" _Es," dad said smiling but seriously. "Are you sure love?" he asked and started walking slowly toward her. He made a strange noise with his fingers and mommy took a few steps back._

" _Carlisle," she giggled. "Stay back."_

" _Boys, I think mommy is lying," he said with his hands on his waist. "What shall we do about it?"_

_I gasped. "Lies are bad mommy. We never lie," I said and stood next to dad mimicking his move._

_Emmett, who was gone, without noticing it, appeared behind her holding a huge carrot in his hands. "I found it!" he yelled._

" _Attack," daddy hollered. Mommy screeched and started running around the living room. Dad caught her in one move and started tickling her sides. Emmett and I joined him making mommy laugh even harder._

" _Stop! Stop," she gasped through her laughs. "I- swear if you don't," she continued. "I'll pee on you!" All three of us instantly flew back, as if we got burned. She got up from the brown rich carpet, straightened her hair and clothes and smirked at us. "Suckers!" she yelled and ran upstairs._

_As we started gathering the things we needed for our snowman, mommy came down holding a huge scarf. It was red, green and white, with yellow letters._

" _Wow!" I whispered and she gave it to me._

" _Do you like it?" she asked as she took me in her lap._

" _Yes," I said._

" _Do you see the letters?" she asked point them along the scarf. "They're our initials: C for daddy, E for Emmett, you and me."_

" _Did you make it?" I asked never taking my eyes off of it._

" _Uh huh," she said and kissed my cheek loudly._

_Mommy helped us get dressed and soon we were at the front yard, trying to make huge snowballs. We were laughing and singing and playing. I was so happy. Mom went inside the house for a few moments and dad recruited Emmett and me in making small snowballs to throw at mommy when she returned. We hid behind a beautiful bush and once she came out, we threw all the all snowballs at her. She yelped since she was taken aback and then scolded._

" _No cookies," she said pouted. "And no photograph!"_

_Daddy revealed himself and chuckled. "Come on love. We just wanted to play."_

_All of a sudden, she jumped on him and daddy fell on the snow, dragging her with him. She quickly gathered some snow in her hands and shoved it at his face. Dad laughed out loud and called for us. We played and made snow angels. As we lay on the snow, mommy pulled us together and she raised her hand that held the camera above us and took our picture._

" _I love you all so much," daddy said and kissed us._

My hands trembled as I held the picture. I realized I was crying when a tear fell on the picture. I didn't dare to look at him. I didn't want him to see me like that- I didn't want him to see my vulnerability at the moment.

"Look at us," I said in a hoarse voice. "We were so happy. You fucked up," I continued as I felt my anger rising. "Do you know that I wanted to be like you?" I said and snapped my head to look at him. Fuck the tears that were running. "I had never felt so much love and adoration apart from the one Emmett showed me, until you. I fucking looked up to my father because when he looked at me I could see how his eyes shone with love," I said angrily and paused. I would loose it fast if I kept going. I needed to be calm for this- as difficult as that was.

"Do you even remember the day at the hospital?" I spat looking out side the window? I heard a noise and turned around. He picked up the notepad and turned it to my direction.

**I know I don't deserve it but please look at me when you speak.**

"You don't want that," I said icily. "I may never be able to tell you my thoughts without editing but trust me when I say that you'll be able to see them. So no, I don't think you want that." He grabbed the notepad and started writing furiously.

**I want to. I want to see what I did.**

"You fool old man," I said and turned my back again. I rubbed the spot over the left side of my chest. A few days ago I got a tattoo: it was Will's name and his birth date. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I remembered how his eyes were when he first saw it. I heard a tap on is tray and looked at him.

**I remember. Always had…**

I chuckled ironically. "You have a funny way showing it. Sometimes, I think back to those days and I can't understand what the fuck happened to you. You remind me nothing of the person who took us in and didn't give a damn how broken we were. I would wake up every fucking day and the first thing my childish brain would think was what to draw for you in order to give it to you as a simple thank you," I paused.

" _There's my little Picasso," daddy said._

" _I'm Edward daddy," I pouted. "You forgot who I am."_

" _I could never forget you son," he said and sat me on his lap. "Picasso is a very famous painter."_

" _What's a ptainter?"_

" _A_ painter _is a person who paints pictures," dad said. "Like you do. The only difference is that he draws more like an adult would."_

" _Oh!" I exclaimed and got of his lap. "Mommy! Mommy!" I yelled and started running toward the kitchen. "I'm a ptainter!" I finished and heard mommy and daddy laughing._

I smiled lightly at the memory. Emmett would tease me for days. I sat down and sighed as I ran my hands through my hair. I looked at him and found him lost in his own memories. I would give anything to know what he was thinking but I didn't want to ask him. I didn't want him to think that I cared because I didn't.

"Will told me," I said once I saw that he looked at me. "You had no right to seek him Carlisle. For your own selfish reasons you thought that it would be wise to talk to him in order to achieve whatever you wanted," I said calmly. He shook his head frantically and started scribbling something. "Stop," I commanded but he didn't listen. When he was done he gave me the notepad with shaky hands.

**No goals. I swear. When Esme came to me after I paid off Bella's loan she told me to stay away from you because you were finally happy and that you had a son that worshiped the ground you walk on. After she left it hit me. Not only had I lost myself but also my family. I just wanted to know him. I wanted him to know that I wasn't always the bitter man I ended up to be.**

"Did it occur to you that his life was turned upside down? That he didn't want all this shit? Fucking Christ Carlisle! He is a kid, my kid and you tried to guilt trip him," I seethed.

He shook his head again. 'No,' he mouthed. Fuck that!

"Yes. You couldn't stand the fact that we were finally happy. You couldn't stand that we cared for nothing else apart from each other- that your fucking money weren't above all. You couldn't stand the fact that you ended up alone without having anyone fawn over you," I snapped. His monitor started beeping and his nurse rushed inside.

Once she made sure everything was fine, she turned and glared at me. "You must not upset him. If it happens again I swear to God I'll throw you out myself and make sure you don't come back. He is in a fragile state and upsetting him doesn't work Mr. Cullen," she said and stepped out of the room.

"It's really hard to talk to you without getting angry," I said looking at the door. I was debating whether to finish this or not. "I just can't help myself." Once again he grabbed his notepad and started writing.

**I know. I would understand if you left. I hope you stayed though.**

"What for?" I asked bitterly. "You have no right to even wish that."

He nodded and lowered his head. His right hand was shaking and he flexed his fingers. I sat down on the chair and hid my face in my hands. I felt so fucked up. I hadn't given a shit about him until the day Will told me everything. I wanted to say so many things that were eating me alive but if I did it would end him. I wasn't a soft person but I wasn't cruel as well. Will's words right before I left he house came to my mind…

_You could never be a bad person. Your heart is kind and loving dad. I know that you'll be able to handle this. Forgive him dad…_

" _You're no son of mine!" Carlisle yelled._

_Forgive him dad…_

" _I'll never fail you Edward."_

_Forgive him dad…_

A soft tapping on his over bed table brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and saw that he was crying. Fucker! Why was he crying? He kept tapping the fucking pen on the table and begged me with his eyes. What the fuck was that tune? It sounded familiar but I couldn't recall from where.

_I was having a bad dream again. I was watching my first Mommy laying on the floor and there was so much blood._

" _Edward, Edward! Come out wherever you are!" mean daddy called. "I have Emmeeeeett!"_

_No! Emmie!_

" _No!" I cried._

_**Somewhere down the road, you're gonna find a place**_   
_**It seems so far, but it never is** _

" _Aren't we having fun Emmett?" he said loudly and I heard Emmie scream._

" _I'm here my son," I heard a sweet voice say. I tried to peek around t from my hiding spot but I couldn't see anyone._

_**Sometimes you may feel you're the only one**_   
_**Cause all the things you thought were safe, now they're gone** _

_The voice was so melodic and soothing. "Come back to me son."_

_**But you won't be alone, I'll be here to carry you along**_   
_**Watching you 'til all your work is done** _

No! He couldn't remember that song. No! My shoulders started shaking violently as I remembered the song he sang to me every single time I had nightmares as a child. That tune was my compass to escape from memories that haunted my dreams.

_**Don't be shy, even when it hurts to say**_   
_**Remember, you're gonna get hurt someday, anyway** _   
_**Then you must lift your head, keep it there** _   
_**Remember what I said** _   
_**I'll always be with you don't forget** _   
_**Just look over your shoulder I'll be there.** _

If you look behind you, I will be there.

I started sobbing. Why was he doing this to me? Why did he have to remember that? I felt a cold hand on my head and I cried even harder. I lifted my head and for the first time in years I saw the tender look I longed from him. I saw the person I met back in that damn hospital. I saw my father. He ran his fingers through my hair and I remembered the look he gave me every time he sang the last part of the song.

_**I'll always be with you don't forget**_   
_**Just look over your shoulder I'll be there.** _

"Why are you doing this to me?" I choked. "Why now? Why? You ruined everything. I loved you so fucking much and you ruined everything!"

Memories of him flooded in my head: laughing, smiling, his evident anxiety when one of us was sick; even his silly panda dance that made us laugh when we were moody for whatever reason.

A small pat on my shoulder made me look at him. He handed me the notepad and I took it with shaky hands.

**I'm so sorry Edward. I never meant all the things I said and did. I'm sorry I made you think you're unworthy. I'm sorry I failed you.**

That was when I lost it. "Do you think that just by saying 'I'm sorry' will bring back all the things I missed from my son's life? Do you think that I will magically get experiences I should have lived with my father? Do you think that I will ever be able to remember you as a kind and loving parent when you were anything but?" I said angrily. "Do you realize that you dug your own grave and threw yourself in it? Did it even occur to you that you were the only one who brought our family to the state it is now?"

The door opened again and Emmett stepped in. He didn't even look at Carlisle. "Bro, I need to go. Rose called. When you want to get back call me and I'll come to pick you up, okay?"

I shook my head. "I'll be fine Em. I'll get a cab or call Chief to pick me up. Kiss Ro and the twins for me," I said.

"I can stay a bit lon…"

"I'm fine Emmett. I'm almost done. You go ahead and I'll call you later," I said cutting him off. He sighed heavily, nodded and left.

I waited a few minutes to make sure that Emmett was gone. I stood up and without looking at him I excused myself for a couple of minutes. I needed some air. I wanted to hear my sons' voice. I left the room like a bat out of hell. Once I was in the hospitals' little park I took a deep breath. Fuck that's not how it was supposed to go. My phone rang. I smiled as I saw it was him.

"I was about to call you," I said.

" _Well great minds think alike,_ " he chuckled. " _Is everything okay dad?_ " he asked.

"Yeah kiddo, everything is fine. Just stepped outside for a smoke," I replied and sat on a small bench. "How's Ma?"

He groaned. " _She actually told me off,_ " he started. " _I woke up and went downstairs. You'd just left. She was sitting on the sofa, reading a baby book while she was eating that green sauce that looks like shit with nachos. She didn't see me at first but when she did screamed bloody murder for scaring her and the whole bowl fell on her. That was it. She started bawling her eyes out telling me to call her a pig because that what she was for eating so much and when she tried to get up and couldn't she started wailing she was a whale,_ " he continued. " _I mean what the hell dad? Are all pregnant women like that? Aunt Ro wasn't and neither is Auntie Allie._ "

I laughed. "Son, never mess with a pregnant woman. I learned that lesson the hard way, trust me."

" _Dad?_ "

"Yes?"

" _Without any pressure, what time do you think you'll be back?_ "

"Do you want to do something?"

" _Well I was thinking that since I'm in mom's shitlist at the moment, you'd help me make her something,_ " he mumbled.

I smirked. "Do you have something particular in mind?"

" _Yeah,_ " he started. " _I called Uncle Joe in Jacksonville…_ "

"Tell me you got that damn recipe kid and I swear to God I'll get you first row seats for Super Bowl," I said eagerly.

" _How about that neat motor…_ "

I snorted. "Have you heard a song by Aerosmith called 'Dream on'?" I smirked. "Sorry son, but I want more kids someday so I need my boys intact."

" _That's so gross dad!_ " he protested.

"Gross or not champ, we're gonna have the bees and the birds talk bec…"

" _Dad, Dad!_ " he said somewhat irritated. I was perfectly sure that he was blushing like hell. " _This is so… disturbing._ "

I chuckled. "Whatever Will," I looked at my watch. "I don't think it'll take more than an hour tops, okay?"

" _Sure. I'll get the ingredients ready. Ma is gone with Pops' and Nana so we'll have plenty of time. They won't be back until seven._ "

"I love you Will," I sighed.

" _Love you more,_ " he said and hung up.

I finished my cigarette and went back inside. I tried not to think about the things I wanted to say but it was pointless. I just wanted this visit to end and never go back. As I turned around the corner to go to his room, I heard someone calling my name. I turned and saw Dr. Bronti approaching me.

"Mr. Cullen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I don't have much time because I need to head to the ER but it will allow you to think about it," he said quickly.

"What is it?"

"When I visited Dr. Cullen this morning he requested a DNR form," he said. What was that? He must have seen the confusion in my face. "It's a form the patient signs in order to prevent resuscitation in case it's needed."

"Oh," I said dumbly.

"Since he is mentally stable, I can't deny handling that form for him. As his doctor, I needed to inform you. I spoke with Emmett as he was leaving," he continued. "I will be able to go back to him later this afternoon so he can sign."

I nodded. "Okay."

I entered the room and he had his eyes closed. The click of the door alerted him of my arrival and he smiled sadly at me. He started writing almost instantly.

**I thought you had left.**

I scratched my chin and sat down. I didn't want to stay longer. There was no reason to do so. "I was talking on the phone and on my way here, Dr. Bronti stopped me. He told me about that form you want to sign." He nodded and looked away.

_Forgive him Dad…_

"Do you remember when I was about ten where your father visited and showed him my essay I'd written in school?"

" _Did you like it Grandfather?" I asked timidly. I wanted him to be proud of me._

_He narrowed his eyes at me and without hesitation he ripped my essay in pieces. I lowered my head and tried really hard not to cry. Was it that bad? Ms Mary said that we only had to write a couple of paragraphs and say what we'd like to be when we grew up._

" _You'll never be good enough to be like your father!" he said through clenched teeth. "What made you think that the son of a_ murderer _would_ ever _be good enough to be like_ my _son?"_

"That's how your father treated me. He never treated Em like that because he knew that Emmett would talk back. What did I ever do to him? Do you want to know what hurt more? Even when that happened you never said a word," I said. My chest tightened as I started remembering many other events like that: how he would grunt when I drew something for Carlisle or when I followed him around the house- even when I asked for help in a math problem.

_Are you so stupid boy that you can't solve a simple problem?_

He was watching me silently, crying. I gave up. My emotions were battling so hard inside of me: anger vs. hurt. He deserved the anger I had bottled up all these years but apparently hurt was winning. My eyes started watering again and to be honest I didn't want them to stop. It felt cathartic somehow, and only then I realized how much I needed that. I'd kill me on the spot if Will ever felt like that toward me.

"Once I would have been proud to have my son look up to you, now I only hope I never become like you, because I never want to lose his love and respect, the way you lost mine," I said lowly enough for him to hear me.

I was done. I got up from the chair and looked at him one last time. He knew as well it was the last time he'd ever see me. As I opened my mouth to tell him goodbye, the monitor started beeping frantically. The nurse burst into the room and pressed the button he had in his hand. I couldn't move. Nurses and doctors rushed into the room but no one paid attention to me. Someone tried to get me out of that room but it was like I was glued on the spot.

"He's crashing!" someone called.

Numerous medicines were yelled. I only caught Adrenaline and Lidocaine. My eyes bored into his closed ones. That moment something snapped in me.

"Stop!" I called.

"Get him out of here," a doctor said irritated.

The door opened and Dr. Bronti came inside. "Out of my way Daniels," was all he said. The other doctor grunted and stood behind Dr. Bronti.

"Stop," I said again. Dr. Bronti turned to look at me. "It was his wish," I whispered.

'I forgive you,' I thought. "I forgive you for everything you did.' I bit my lip hard and took a deep breath.

A single tear rolled down his cheek and from the monitor it echoed a steady sound.

He was gone…

"Time of death, 15:03 pm," the doc said.

My back hit with force on the wall and I sank down on the floor. I didn't know what to do. There were so many things that needed to be done and I'd no idea what to do.

Dr. Bronti crouched down on my level and placed his hand on my shoulder. "My condolences Mr. Cullen," he said. "I'll leave you a few moments with him." I nodded and he left.

It might have been seconds or minutes and I still hadn't moved. I could only look at his lifeless body that lay on the bed. I stood up slowly and walked to his bed. I touched his cheek briefly and I shivered from the coldness. I didn't know what to feel. The picture of our family was on his nightstand so I picked it up and put it in my wallet.

"Goodbye," I whispered and left the room within seconds. I couldn't stay there any longer.

I saw his doc standing at the nurses' station writing some staff. I told him that I would arrange for the funeral office to take over and I kindly denied for an autopsy done when he recommended it. He'd suffered enough.

I decided to walk for a bit before heading home. The little bit turned into almost two hours. I hailed a cab, gave him the address and asked him to take the long root. Forty- five minutes later I was in my living room. I needed a drink before I could handle anything else. Whom did I need to inform first? I gulped my drink at once and poured another and then another and without realizing something exploded inside of me.

"You motherfucker!" I yelled and threw my glass on the wall. The crystal shattered in thousands of pieces. I never thought it would hurt so much. My next victim was a vase. I picked it up and threw it in a different direction.

"Dad!" Will called and rushed into the living room. "Take it easy!"

I couldn't control myself at that point. I fell on my knees and started sobbing so hard. Why did it affect me so much? I felt my sons' arms around me and I hugged him back to the point of suffocation.

"It's okay dad," Will whispered. "Everything will be okay."

I started rocking us back and forth as I continued to cry. "P-please Will," I begged. "Please don't ever let me be… be like him. Promise me that if you see me change, you'll… you'll tell me that moment. I don't ever want to become like him. Promise me."

He leaned back and looked at me as his eyes started to brim with tears. "You can never be like him dad. You'll never be like him," he said. "I promise to kick your ass even if you try to turn like him," he finished and smiled.

"I love you so much, and I'm so scared that I'll let you down. He let me down. I don't want to repeat his mistakes."

"You're not your father's son," he said passionately. "You're Nana's son and so is Uncle Em. You've never let me down and I swear you'll never do, and do you want to know why?" he asked. "You're always there for me; you try to help me with my studies even if it's a simple grammar exercise, you try to spend as much time as you have and at the same time help Ma, Nana and Uncle Em with the babies," he continued. "You're my punching bag when I need to practice for Tae Kwon Do and play the piano when I play the sax. When I get sick you never leave my side and every single night I go to bed, you check up on me. I can continue for days telling you little things that you do for me…us. You don't have the heart to become like him dad, so enough with that shit. Not to mention that Jason envies me for having a fucking awesome dad like you. His words not mine," he finished and grinned.

I sighed. "You're a fucking awesome kid to," I smirked sadly. One crisis was averted and soon we'd jump onto the next one. "Will, Carlisle died."

He took a deep breath. "Shit."

My sentiments exactly. The front door opened and my body tensed. Crap, Ma was here.

"Anyone home?" Charlie called.

"In here Pops," Will said.

When he entered and saw our position and the mini destruction I caused he approached us. "What happened?"

"He's dead," Will said.

"Fuck," he whispered and winced. "Do they know?"

"I don't know," I said in a hoarse voice. "There's a possibility that the private nurse called Ma."

"I need a beer," Chief mumbled and went to the kitchen.

Will tried to distract me by helping me up and claiming that it was time to bake a cake. That might have worked for a while but still. I needed to find a way to break the news to Ma and Bells. Emmett was the easiest part. When I called him to tell him it was as if he knew. He promised to come and tell Ma together. Almost an hour later Emmett and Rose came in the house each with a baby on their arms.

"What time they're gonna be here?" Em asked.

"Bells called me a few minutes ago to say that they were on their way home," I said.

"Good, good."

"Are you okay honey?" Rose asked as she sat next to me. "It must have been hard to watch him go."

""Honestly, I've no idea how to feel," I said truthfully. "I feel exhausted for some reason."

"Edward, losing a parent does that," she started. I opened my mouth to tell her that he was anything but a parent to us but she cut me off. "I know that he was a prick but no matter what he did he was. Take my Mom for instance. She never gave a shit about me and I was all alone. When she died on that crash it saddened me because she was the only parent I had."

"I understand Rose but the difference is that she never changed. He decided to change everything when it was too late."

"Whether he was late or not, he decided to change Edward and that's all that matters," she said softly and hugged my shoulder.

Will approached, holding Chase in his arms and sat down next to me. Every time the baby made a move or made a tiny noise, my son would mumble an 'Oh My God' and try to secure his hands better around him. It was kind of cute watching my son with a baby. Ever since the babies were born, he tried to spend as much time as possible with them because he wanted to be useful when ours arrived. It was fucking summer and my boy instead of having fun, he spent his free time with them.

"Are the babies gonna be as tiny as he is?" Will asked.

I smiled. "When they're born, yes. But just so you know, they used to be a bit smaller."

"Jesus," he said. "No wonder everyone is scared when they get to hold a baby." He lifted his hands lightly, placed his nose on the crook of Chases' neck and inhaled deeply. "Ugh! That's just gross," he complained and scrunched his nose.

"What?" I asked.

"I think he just farted because his ass is warm," he said and turned his head the other side. My body started shaking with laughter.

"Son I don't think he farted," Charlie joked. "He has a tiny surprise in his diaper for his cousin."

"I'm gonna throw up," he gagged and passed the baby to Emmett.

When Emmett finished cleaning his sons' business- after he cooed at him for being a copy cut of him- we heard a car turn into our driveway. They were here.

Let the show begin…

The front door opened and I smiled as I saw Bells' belly first turn and then her angelic face. She smiled broadly and with slow steps, she started heading toward me. Once she sat down and gave me a small peck on the lips she turned around to look at everyone. Charlie frowned momentarily and looked the other way.

"Daddy are you all right?" she asked.

He looked at me briefly and then smiled at her. "Sure baby girl. Just a small headache is all."

"Where are my munchkins?" Ma called as she closed the door.

"Fuck," Emmett whispered.

"Edward?" Bella said.

"I love you," I told her and kissed her. "So much," I said and felt my eyes getting watery.

Charlie shot up from the couch and headed toward Ma when he saw her holding several bags. "Let me get these, sweetheart."

Did he just call her sweetheart? What the fuck?

"It's okay Charlie," she smiled. "'They aren't hea…" She stopped abruptly once her eyes landed on mine.

The bags fell from her hands and she made a step back. She brought her hand to her mouth, paled and shook her head. She knew. Her eyes rolled on the back of her head and as she started fainting, Charlie scooped her up in his arms.

"Ma!" Emmett and I called at the same time and within a moment I was next to her.

The babies started crying, William ran upstairs and Bella along with Rose tried to calm down the little ones. Charlie sat on the couch with Ma on his lap, slapping her cheek lightly.

"Give her to me," I said and tried to take her in my arms.

"I've got her," Charlie said not taking his eyes off of her.

"Give…"

"I said I've got her," Charlie said and glared at me.

What the _fuck_?

"Here," Will said breathlessly, passing me the smelling salts and ran into the kitchen. He came back with a glass of orange juice and a packet of crackers. "I brought the crackers in case she gets sick."

Using the smelling salts we managed to wake her up. "There you are darling," Charlie whispered. "You scared us."

_Darling?_

Charlie helped her sit up and drank a small sip from the juice. With shaky hands she placed the glass on the coffee table and started crying. None of us said a word. I kneeled in front of her and put my head on her knees.

"What happened?" she asked.

"He had a cardiac arrest. At first the medical team tried to bring him back to life but I stopped them," I said looking into her eyes.

"W-what?"

"Ma, earlier this morning he had requested from Dr. Bronti a DNR form. He didn't want to live… it was his wish. He informed me a bit before it happened and right before Emmett left," I said and cleared my throat. It was so sore.

"It's true Mama," Emmett said. "It was better this way. He would have suffered more."

She nodded and started crying harder. We let her be for a few minutes and I resumed my place next to Bella. She laced our fingers together and squeezed my hand. My beautiful Bella. She was my home, my shelter. Charlie handed Ma a handkerchief and she wiped her eyes. She sighed heavily and looked at him, smiling appreciatively. She laid her head on his shoulder, he kissed the top of her head and hugged her.

_What the fuck!_

I squinted at him and he cleared his throat, straightening his posture.

"We need to call Uncle J," Ma started. "There are things that might need settlement."

"I called him on my way here," Emmett said. "He'll be here for the funeral and also to talk to us. He wants everyone present."

**≈ **Ж≈****

The funeral took place three days after his death. Uncle J was indeed present along with his boys and wife. A couple of his colleagues back from Forks made their presence and of course the councils from the various companies he inherited after Gregory's death. Initially we thought that it would be wiser to bury him back in Forks but Ma didn't want to even hear about it. She wanted him here. Bella took a leave of absence from work for the rest of her pregnancy because she was getting bigger and her feet weren't helping her, not to mention the fact that my boys wrestled in her womb.

Charlie was another story. He never left her side, always her shadow to help her with anything she needed. They were like magnets: she moved- he moved. Yesterday, late at night, Bells wanted a piece of the pie we'd made her. She'd put it in quarantine- no one was allowed to touch it. I climbed down the stairs as soundless as possible and when I turned to go to the kitchen, I found Ma and Charlie on the couch: he was sitting and Ma had her head on his lap while he played with her hair. To say I was freaked would be an understatement. Maybe there was something there, maybe not. Maybe he was just being nice because of the things she went through.

Uncle J and his sons Bryan and Rick were due to arrive in an hour. Aunt Sheila, knowing the reason of their visit and the fact that she'd never visited Chicago before, decided to go shopping so she wouldn't attend. Marcus was kind enough to give me a couple of days of leave so I could tend to my family, due to Carlisle's death.

"What are you thinking?" Bella asked as she wrapped her arms around my torso.

"The things that occurred these past few days," I sighed. "Ma is really calm and it scares me."

"Why?" she asked and rested her chin on my chest.

"I expected her to be a bit…different."

"Meaning?"

"Bells, she didn't even shed a tear at the funeral. I don't want her to bury all these emotions inside of her. It's not good," I said and kissed her forehead.

"Charlie is helping Esme a lot you know," she stated. "Which is good actually, because he is trying to keep her mind from thinking. Do you know what they did this morning?"

' _Played tonsil hockey maybe? I'm gonna throw up! There is nothing going on,'_ my mind said horrified.

"Esme dragged Charlie in a pastry craft shop to buy cupcakes holders," she giggled. "Poor Charlie, when they returned a couple of hours ago he was within an inch of puking his guts out."

I smirked. "I've got an idea what shopping with Ma means. I just want her to be okay, you know?"

"I know angel," she said and gasped suddenly. "Come on boys," she whispered and rubbed her belly as she sat down. "Don't kick mama so hard."

I smiled and kneeled in front of her and kissed her stomach. "Hey there guys. Having fun in there?" I asked and placed my hands on it. "Your big brother used to kick a lot too. At least that's what mama says. Now, you know I love you so much already so I'd be grateful if you did your old man a favor and stop fighting in there. You don't want to hurt mama, okay?" I finished and sighed. Then I felt a big kick and smiled. "See, I knew you'd listen."

Bella leaned in and kissed the top of my head. My God I needed her so much. I grabbed her from the back of her neck and crushed my lips on her. We both moaned loudly from that little and yet so powerful contact. I grazed my hand over her breast and her nipple greeted me immediately. I tore my lips from hers and took out my t-shirt as Bella struggled with hers. I smiled at her and she scowled.

"Shut it and help me," she demanded as her face flushed.

Once her shirt was out of the way, the girls were my mane focus. They were getting bigger as well from the pregnancy. I took her nipple in my mouth and she groaned from pleasure. The sweet, slow and sensual moves became frantic within seconds. Bella struggled with my zipper for a moment and soon she was on her knees, licking and nibbling my cock.

"Fuck yeah," I breathed heavily. Her mouth was heaven. She kept licking and grazing her teeth over the head and I tried really hard not to lose it like a sixteen year old virgin.

Well, _excuse me_! Three months is a very long dry spell.

I grabbed her hands and pulled her up. "Lay down," I commanded. I hovered over her and gave her neck a long slow lick. She shivered and tugged hard at the hair on the back of my head, making me hiss. I yanked her yoga pants and panties down, as quickly as possible, biting lightly her exposing skin. She was so smooth and smelled unique; a fact that drove me to the point of insanity. There would never be any other for me; my Bella was just… everything.

"Edward please," she begged.

"Anything for you," I said and kissed her passionately. I gently spread her legs wide and brushed my thumb over her clit.

"Fuck!" she rasped. I smirked and entered her slowly… bringing myself to home after a long time of absence. That shit ain't happening again. I started moving in and out with gentle moves because no matter how horny we were, I didn't want to hurt her or the babies.

' _Hey Dad, remember that time you did Ma when she was pregnant and you poked something with your thing? That was my eye!'_

"Edward!" Bella snapped. My eyes met hers. "Focus! You're not hurting them. Now move!"

"Bell…"

Something flashed in her eyes and she smiled wickedly. "Edward," she purred.

"What love?"

"I want to try something different than what we usually do," she smiled and leaned on her elbows.

"Oh," was my brilliant reply.

"Oh yeah," she grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

"And that is?"

She got up on her knees and started kissing my jaw until her mouth reached my ear. "I want to ride you," she said and bit my earlobe.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chanted. She was gonna be the death of me.

She pushed me down and moved to hover over my dick. That was the hottest thing I've ever seen: her round stomach, her full tits and swollen lips. She reached back and grabbed me firmly, making me moan loudly. I moved my hips a bit and finally entered her. Bella threw her head back and gasped once I was completely inside her. She rocked her hips back and forth and then around.

"Oh God," she whispered with a shaky voice. "So good."

I placed my hands on her hips and helped her move. It wasn't something wild at first because it couldn't. We both needed more though. I held her still and started moving my hips more quickly and then almost frantically. I wanted to hear her, I wanted to taste her. I flipped her on her back, gaining a whiny protest from her and lowered my self in front of her glistening pussy. That smell of hers… I gave her a long lick from slit to clit and then focused on it. I pushed two fingers inside her and she moaned loudly.

"Now now, Bells," I smirked. "You've got to be a bit quiet."

She moaned again as I continued my ministrations and she grabbed a pillow bringing it to her mouth. I continued to tease her until I had enough.

"On your hands and knees baby," I said and she nodded eagerly causing me to chuckle.

"Oh my god," she hissed as I pushed myself inside of her.

I didn't waste any more time. I started moving again and again and she pushed back. I knew that I couldn't hurt them because the baby book said so, and so did Bella and her doc.

"Faster Edward," she moaned and I complied. "Oooh just like that."

"Fuck I missed us like this," I groaned. "We are perfection, love."

I ran my fingers over her spin and rolled my hips. She was close because I could feel clenching around me. She hugged a pillow again and hid her face to muffle her screams. I grabbed her hips hard and moved faster until we both reached our picks. I rested my forehead on her back and took deep breaths for a moment. I pulled myself out of her and Bella fell on her side and turned around with a huge grin on her face.

"That was awesome," she said breathlessly. I hovered over her and kissed her gently. "We're so doing that later."

"Uh huh," I said and smiled. "We better have a shower because someone is gonna be knocking on that door soon."

****≈Ж≈** **

We entered the living room just a few seconds before Uncle J and the boys arrived. Everyone was chatting quietly and Will was sitting on the piano bench. Once he saw us his whole face turned red and I cocked my head to the side. What was wrong with him? I helped Bella to sit down and pecked her lips before going to him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him. Will looked at me briefly and nodded averting his eyes from me. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "You don't seem to be," I said calling his bull shit.

"Dad, you'll be as embarrassed as I am," he whispered.

"Spill it kid," I said. It couldn't be that bad.

"Let's just say that Nana sent me to your room a few minutes ago," he mumbled and blushed even more. Jesus! "So now you know why I don't want to talk about it."

"Will," I started but he cut me off.

"I'll make you a deal. We won't talk about it and I'll try really hard to forget the fact that you scarred me for life, okay?"

"Shit, I'm sorry Will," I apologized and hid my shame in my hands.

"Just keep it down next time. We have elders in the house," he laughed lightly.

That moment Ma came from the kitchen holding a tray full of cups with fresh made coffee. Charlie instantly went to assist her. I rolled my eyes at the sight and went to sit next to Bella dragging Will with me. Bryan and Rick, Uncle J's boys were the exact opposite. Rick was a very laid back guy where Bryan was formal. He never liked to waste time when business was involved- always formal suit and serious look. I observed my cousins for a moment and smirked. B was wearing his Armani suit – since it was his favorite brand- and Rick was wearing black jeans, gray t-shirt and a Mariners jock.

Bryan decided that it was time to get down to business. He opened his briefcase and took out some files, setting them in front of Uncle J. He whispered something in his fathers' ear and he nodded.

"I hoped that I didn't have to do this but unfortunately I have to. More or less most of you know the reason we are here," Uncle J started. "Two days before Carlisle left Seattle, he visited me in my office and requested both of my sons to be present. He expressed his wish to create a will. Since I've been his lawyer for the past thirty years I couldn't deny it. No matter how things ended up he still was family," he paused. Charlie took Ma's hand in his and kissed her knuckles, sending a silent message to her.

"Sir?" Will called gently.

"It's Uncle Jay son," he said and smiled.

"Is there any chance my family will get upset from the things you're about to say?" my son asked. "Because as obvious my Ma," he continued pointing Bella's stomach, "…can't get upset."

Uncle J looked at me and winked. 'Yeah Uncle, that's my boy!' I thought smugly. I wanted to hug the shit out of him that moment. As if Bella could read my mind, she patted the small space between us and asked Will to come and sit.

"Will, I can't tell you if it will upset her or not. I think it won't. Besides there is a small reference to her so she needs to be here," he said sincerely. "It's a big letter referring to all of you with some legal aspects in it." Will nodded but still kept his guard up.

He took a small pile of papers in his hands and cleared his throat. "Washington, June 14th. My dear Esme, if Jared is reading you this letter it means that I'm not alive. I know that any amount of apologies will never be enough for all the hurt and emotional turmoil I've caused you. I'm the only one to blame and no one else. I'm to blame mostly because I let the love I'd once felt for my father get between our family. I'm the only one to blame because simply I let a man manipulate me in every way possible just because he couldn't have -after a point- what I had: a loving family and two sons that any man would envy.

"I was diagnosed with Coronary Artery Disease two days after everything fell apart in Chicago. A disaster like that was needed in order to remind me that I actually had a heart. At the time, my case was salvageable but I decided against it. That was the price I had to pay for everything I had done to every single one of you. I just wanted to start making amends, whatever was amendable at least, starting with Bella. Paying her loans was the least I could do for her and her son. The day I forced her to do what she did was imprinted in my head until this day."

Uncle continued reading, reminding us of moments we all shared. Ma was leaning against Charlie's shoulder with her eyes closed, crying silently. Emmett was lost in his own world. I'd never be able to understand his action. No matter how many letters he wrote. He started with Emmett and how proud he was of him for becoming the man he was, followed by a set of apologies.

"Edward," Uncle said. I looked at him and saw that his eyes were on the paper. "Do you remember the time where your mother and Emmett were to spend a weekend in Seattle? You were eight then. I had the day off from the hospital and we went to Lake Crescent. I taught you how to swim that day. I can't recall how many days you gloated to your brother that you could swim like a dolphin. Small moments like this should be the ones to remember. Consider it as my last wish to you: please son, remember only these moments and not the ones you shouldn't have lived. Don't poison your mind with the way I treated you and never repeat my mistakes. Besides, I don't think your son would ever let you reach that point. He is a perfect mix of his mother and you. I'm proud of him because even at this age he has a mind of his own and knows what he wants and needs.

"William, never change. You have qualities in you that even adults don't. Cherish every moment you have with your family and know that I was a very lucky man to meet you. Thank you for allowing me to tell you things I now realize I shouldn't have said. I did it only because of all the things you could have asked you only wanted sincerity. At the end the least I could do to you to atone myself was to honor your wish. Don't ever let anyone come between you and the people you love the most. It's not worth it and the pain will be unbearable," Uncle J read. He drank half of his water and then continued.

"Rosalie thank you, for trying to remind me that some people don't care about money. Thank you for making my son happy. I hope your life will be full joy. I'm sorry for misjudging you. My son is blessed for having you.

"My Essie, as the sun of my life sets, I realized one thing only. Of all the things I've done, of all the things I said- only a thing never changed and that is my love for you. You'll always be my coffee girl- the cute little thing with the tiny flower patterned apron. I will never forget that lovely blush you gave me when our eyes first met. I will never forget how your eyes shone the day we got married. I never meant the things I've told you; you must know that. I was only bitter from the things I had done. I'll always love you and forgive me for not telling you enough.

"Charles Aaron Swan, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the father I never was to both of my sons but mostly to Edward. Forgive me for hurting your family," Uncle finished and folded the letter. He opened a manila envelope and Bryan took out another set of files. This was never going to end.

****≈Ж≈** **

By the time Uncle was done reading Carlisle's last will, all of our mouths had reached the floor. It wasn't anything complicated but there was a spot that shocked us. I would've never thought that he would do something like that. He must have considered it for days.

"I don't understand," Will said with furrowed eye brows.

"What didn't you get kid?" Rick asked.

"Most of it," my son said troubled. "For every child born, a trust fund of five millions will be set. This way he made sure that every one of the kids were set for life. He left houses around the states to my father and Uncle. He bought Nana the two shops either side of her bakery in order to expand as well the house and cabin in Forks. He also deposited money to our accounts. For Pops, he left the lake house and that alien boat because he likes to fish. Okay so far?" he asked Rick. Rick smiled in return. "I didn't get the part about the companies."

Rick leaned back and started explaining. "Since my father, brother and I are the trustees of this part, I will try to explain it to you better. Your Grandfather set my Dad as a temp President, my brother a temp CFO and me as a temp CEO of his companies. We will manage your companies until you reach the age of twenty-five. Your siblings and cousins will also get their share at twenty-five. The reason this is done was because Carlisle didn't want the companies to be sold. Now here's the deal. That decision can be made when the last offspring of either your Uncle's or father's is twenty-five."

"What if I don't want to be involved?" Will asked. "I haven't decided what I want to do professionally yet."

"You don't have to," Rick said. "He trusted us enough to let us be in charge until either of you are fit to. You have time ahead of you. You might not want to follow this path but maybe one of your siblings or cousins might. If you don't want anything to do with it, when the rest reach the right age, you can either sell your share to them or donate it. You need to understand that your grandfather didn't choose your professional future. You choose whether you want to follow it or not."

Will bit his lip, contemplating the things he heard… as all of us did. That was a smart move from Carlisle.

"I know you're family so take no offense. How do I know that you won't do anything to take over everything?" Will asked.

Uncle J smirked. "That's where I come in. Rick may be able to set a different President but I have the upper hand here. Carlisle set a board of people where they are experts in their departments. If one of them tries to mess up with anything, I'll call a board meeting and after a vote we will set a different CEO. Now if he values his backside," he chuckled, "he won't try anything because I will detonate the Sheila bomb and that won't be a pretty thing. Besides, Aunt Sheila has a Masters in Business as well and knows things," he finished and winked. "We could always hire her as a consultant or your father and uncle can appoint the one they want."

My son lowered his head, thinking hard. Bella was looking at me worried. I shook my head and smiled at her. 'Everything is gonna be fine' I reassured her silently. She nodded and rubbed her belly.

"Papa?" Will spoke in Italian. "Mi aiuterai?"

I sighed. "Faro' tutto quello che posso." He smiled shily at me. "Non so molto di affari."

"Lo faremo insieme. Non preoccuparti." he said and turned to look at Rick.

"Insieme," I said and nodded.

Will squinted his eyes momentarily at Rick, in a feeble attempt to be intimidating. "You are family so I trust you. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I don't like to be ashamed. I don't give second chances to those who don't deserve it and last but not the least I have a black belt and my Pops along with my Dad are in the force. They know how to hide a body if needed without getting caught."

All of us burst into laughter. "We sure do kiddo," I said.

It didn't matter whether I liked anything I heard so far or not. It was something my sons, nephew and niece and anyone who decided to join our family had to do. I would try to help him as much as I could no matter what. I had no idea how but at least I would try.

Once Emmett and I signed a few papers, my brother and Rose left. Ma and Charlie helped Bella to our bedroom and Will was no where to be found. My cousins waited for their father outside while Uncle stayed behind.

"Edward, I know there is a lot to take in. Emmett and you are in the same level with my boys in my heart. I will help you with everything you'll need. Just because you signed a few papers doesn't mean that you should follow everything. We can talk about it another time though, as I have to go. If I leave your Aunt out there any longer, I'll be broke," he chuckled.

"I need to think about it a lot and will inform you of our decisions," I said and patted his back.

"I have something for you. Your father left it to give to you after his death," he said and handed me a manila envelope. "He was a good man Edward but unfortunately it took him a lot of time to remember that."

"Yeah, he did," I whispered.

As soon as he was gone, I went into the living room and served my self a drink. I sat down and placed the folder on the coffee table. I didn't know if I wanted to open it or not. Bracing my self I placed down the glass, picked up the envelope and opened it. My eyes blurred with tears once I saw the endless pictures I had drawn for him. I started looking at them one by one as I remembered every single time I gave them to him. Up to this day he had kept them all. The last paper was folded and I saw my name written on it. I took a deep breath and opened it.

_**I'll always be with you don't forget  
Just look over your shoulder I'll be there.** _

_**Always my little ptainter,** _

_**Dad.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian translations: Thanks Lamomo. I owe you
> 
> Papa', mi aiuterai: Dad will you help me?
> 
> Faro' tutto quello che posso. Non so molto di affairi : As much as I can. It will be difficult because I have no knowledge of business.
> 
> Lo faremo insieme. Non preoccuparti: We will do it together. Don't worry.
> 
> Insieme: Together.


	23. Talks and Unexpecyed Visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

"I swear," Bells groaned and rubbed her stomach. "They are gonna break my ribs one of these days."

I chuckled and kissed her forehead. A week ago, she entered her 37th week in her pregnancy and she was _huge_. We were supposed to go for our weekly ultrasound today but we had it done the previous day because her doc had to go away. Will was enthralled with the site of the boys. He even made jokes about their _size_ and how proud he was of them.

"The bigger they get the less space they've got," I smiled. "I just want them here already." She cuddled closer to me and sighed.

"Three more weeks angel and then endless nights of insomnia. We need to start looking for names," Bella said.

"What about Will's choices?" I asked.

"He said that he won't tell the names. He wants to see the boys first and then decide what fits more."

"Where's the problem then?"

"The problem is that he was looking online for more info about the name Dickens. Now that's the worse name ever. Who wants to be called Dick or Dickey?" she pouted.

I started laughing. "Wow, you have a huge dick, Dick."

Bells slapped me on my chest. "That's just horrible! Ugh! No son of mine will be named Dick," she protested, then looked at me briefly and bit her lip. "I actually thought of something and I could only hope that you'd go along."

"And that is?" I asked and kissed her nose.

"I want to name one of the boys after you," she whispered.

"Edward, eh?" I said and scrunched my nose.

"We could call him Eddie to av…" she said mischievously but I cut her off.

"Over my dead body," I snarled playfully and attacked her neck. She giggled and pulled my head back.

"Baby, can you bring me some cheese pie? The boys are hungry," she smiled. I smiled and nodded.

"Anything for my loves. Do you want something to drink?" I asked as I put back on my pajama bottoms.

"How about that mean chocolate you make?" she grinned.

I winked and took off. I made sure I made no sound coming out of the room since it was half past seven in the morning. I didn't want to wake anyone. As I was about to turn from the small corridor I saw Will coming out of his room, inspecting to see if there was anyone. It was evident that he'd just woken up. What was more evident? The fact that he was covering his junk outside his pajamas.

_Maybe he needed to pee._

I sighed. I really needed to have the talk with him. Fuck that was gonna be awkward.

When he was out of site I went to the kitchen and started preparing Bella's chocolate. I started overloading my head on how to initiate this conversation.

_Son lets talk about girls and what they hide under their skirts._

"Nah," I said to myself and shook my head.

'Maybe I should buy him a porn magazine' I thought to myself.

"I'm gonna be sick," I whisper with disgust.

_Son, I think it's time for you to know a few things. There are some similarities between boys and girls like two arms, two legs, a nose, a mouth, and two eyes. But what you might don't know is that our privates differ._

"Jesus," I said and slapped my forehead.

I set everything on a tray and headed back to Bella. As I passed by Will's room, I could hear him moving around and closing drawers but didn't bother to disturb him. I needed to think carefully how to approach him for this matter since I knew that he wouldn't. I sighed and opened our bedrooms door. Once I set the tray down on Bella's lap she looked at me.

"You seemed troubled. What's wrong?" she asked.

I frowned a bit and tugged my hair. "I need to talk to Will and I don't know how to breech the issue."

"And that is?"

"Boy stuff," I mumbled.

Bella gasped. "Edward he is just a boy."

I rolled my eyes. "A boy in his teens who probably already wakes up with his… Look, he is already fourteen Bells. Things um, happen to him during his sleep and I need to explain to him it's normal."

Her face flared for a few seconds, sniffled and then the flood gates opened. "He's growing up so fast," she complained.

"I know love," I said.

"Now it's Will and then in the blink of an eye it will be the boys and then they'll fly away to spread their own wings and then we'll be alone," she sobbed.

"Not if we'll have a couple of munchkins after the boys," I chuckled.

Bella lifted her head and glared at me. "I'm a woman Edward and not a rabbit!"

"Not when we fuck like rabbits babe," I grinned.

She slapped me with the back of her hand on my chest and let me tell you something. When someone is bare chest that shit hurts. "Asshole!"

"Uh huh," I smiled and kissed her.

The squeaking of the linen cupboard on our corridor broke our spell. I knew it was Will so I stood up. "Why don't you start eating your breakfast? I'll be back shortly." Bella nodded and I left the room.

Will was searching the cupboard muttering to him self. I ran my hand through my hair and cleared my throat. "I'll get it for you."

He jumped a little and instantly the floor became very interesting. I grabbed a sheet and hugged him by his shoulder. "Let's go," I said gently.

As we entered the room, I saw his naked bed and the discarded one at the corner of his nightstand. I heard him sniffle and turned to look at him. He was looking at the floor again. Fuck that was awkward.

"I'll do one side, you do the other," I said and nudged him forward. He nodded and without looking at me he walked to his side. While we were making his bed I tried to find the right way to start but nothing came up. My son was a mature kid and no matter how I started it, he'd get the picture.

"Can you look at me please?" I asked. He nodded again and reluctantly he lifted his head. His face was red and splotchy as if he'd been crying, but then again, he didn't look too upset.

"Son, we need to talk. Let's um...uh..." I pointed to his bed, indicating for him to sit down. He did, and I sat next to him. For a brief moment, neither of us said anything. Instead, Will stared at me, waiting for me to speak. "So, I just wanted to talk to you about something important."

"Okay."

"You're gonna reach a point in your life where you're gonna start to have certain _feelings_ towards girls. Now, when men and women have these feelings towards each other, they share a special kind of...hug." I clasped my hands together, interlacing my fingers.

_Really, Edward? A special hug?_

"And sometimes after that a _hug_ , a baby will show up." I watched as his eyes widened. "And then you're going to find that you don't to get _hug_ so much after that." I tilted my head to the side, recalling memories. "You'll just be home alone, in the dark, _hugging_ yourself...thinking about the time when that girl used to give you _hug_ me eyes."

"Dad, is this supposed to be the birds and bees talk?"

"Um, yeah, well... not birds and bees because well, we're humans. And it doesn't really end well for the drones now does it? Although to die for pleasure might be the way to go. You know, if it's that good..."

"Dad..." Will whined.

I tugged my hair and sighed. "Look I know this is uncomfortable but I need to do it, okay?"

"I already know this stuff dad," he mumbled. "We had a three days puberty class at school a couple of years ago."

"They taught you about sex at school when you were eleven?" I asked shocked.

"No," he exclaimed mortified. "They just talked to us about the changes our bodies would face the following years. We were separate from girls."

I bit my thumb nervously. "So you know what happened to you, yes?"

"Sort of. What I don't get is why, eh, why I-it happened like this," he asked as his face turned a thousand shades of red.

I closed my eyes and instantly the talk Ma and Emmett gave me almost fifteen years ago came to my mind. Both of them were very calm and explained every unasked question I had. Maybe, if I tried the same root it would be less awkward.

"I will try to explain as simple as possible so you can understand better. There are certain differences a boy and a girl have. Our um, private areas for example. Boys have penises and girls have eh, v-vag, um vulvas. A girl matures much quicker than a boy due to her nature. Once her feminine organs start working together she gets her period. Every month, the girls' body prepares itself to have a baby even if she isn't planning on actually having one. A girl has two ovaries and a womb. Every month an egg is produced that waits to be fertilized. When it doesn't then her period begins," I tried to explain.

Will gave me a blank look. Maybe I wasn't following the right direction but I think that he needed to know the changes a girl has in order to understand better his.

"Now boys don't get periods," I chuckled. _They get boners._ "Boys have sperms and they are produced in the testicles. What happened to you is a perfectly natural thing. You're growing up and as this happens you will notice changes on your body. You'll start growing hair on your face, chest and um, lower. Your feeling towards girls will change as well. When a boy and a girl like each other after a certain age their bodies react in a certain way."

"L-like what?" Will stammered.

"You'll be attracted to her for instance physically and emotionally. For many people it's just physical but you need to know that the right way is to first get to know each other and then see if you're a match. Never approach a girl just because she's a bombshell. Having sex with her will do nothing more than to satiate your body and needs. Your emotions won't," I said truthfully.

"W-when will I know?" he asked timidly and looked at the floor.

I smiled. "When you're ready, you'll know. Most teenagers act on what they think it's right and not what it actually is. You see your Ma…"

"Dad I swear if you sex talk about Ma," he started but I cut him off.

"Shut up Will and let me finish," I laughed. "Your Ma and I were friends for a long time before we - I consider more. I met her when I was almost sixteen and didn't start dating until I was almost eighteen. I knew her inside out kiddo. I only had to look into her eyes to know what she wanted."

"I want to have someday too," he mumbled.

"And you will because I have faith in you," I said. "Before we're done here, I want to ask you a couple of favors."

"Anything Dad," my son said seriously.

"When the time comes and you feel ready to have sex I want you to be careful and by careful I mean, wear protection. There are so many dangers around this 'area'. Sexual transmitted diseases, pregnancy. You don't need to protect yourself only but your partner as well because mistakes happen without realizing it." Only when I finished I realized what the fuck I'd just said. _Stupid fucker!_

"Do you regret having me?" he mumbled.

"Are you out of your mind Will?" I asked really pissed. "I will never regret having you. I will never regret being with your Ma that way. She was, is and always be my 'it'. Lust can make you forget sometimes. I forgot and you came out of it. You're not a mistake Will, nor your brothers. You're gifts." I said and kissed the top of his head.

"Okay," he whispered. "'What's the next thing?"

"When you want answers concerning sex don't hesitate to come to me. You don't have to be embarrassed because as I said it's something natural."

He nodded and hugged my middle. "I love you Dad."

Not knowing why his declaration made my eyes watery. He was growing up so fast and I wish I had more time with him. I'll wake one day and he'll be gone to college and then have his own family.

"Me too, kiddo."

He cleared his throat and looked at me. "Are we done here?"

"Yes," I smiled.

"Thank God," he exclaimed and rushed out of his room.

As I was about to get back to Bella, Will came into his room again and closed it loudly. "You said I could ask you anything, right?" he asked seriously.

_Please don't let it be about masturbation… Please!_

"Correct," I nodded.

"I don't want to have a different surname from by brothers. Since you're my dad I want to be a Cullen," he said in one breath.

I gaped at him for a few seconds and without hesitation I got up and hugged the shit out of him. "Fuck yeah!" I said loudly. I didn't give a shit who heard me. "Yes!"

And like that I knew it was time.

**≈ **Ж≈****

"Miss Bella?" Julie asked.

"Yes sweetheart?" Bella said putting down the newspaper.

"I'm in trouble and I need a favor from you," the girl said and blushed.

Bella turned and glared at Will. I coughed in order to prevent my laugh. "Did my son do anything?"

"No," Julie nearly yelled. "My mom loves rings. Yesterday, my friend and I were playing with the rings and I lost one. We got it with my Dad last year for her birthday and she'll be very sad once she finds out it's missing," she continued and sniffled. "It was silver with a beautiful rhinestone and I tried to look for it but I didn't have much time and this morning she took them to my uncle's jewelry shop to have them polished."

"Oh no honey. Don't be sad. You want me to tell Mary?" Bella asked.

"No. Um, I would like you to lend me a ring of yours for a couple of hours. You are the same size as my mom so if you give me one I can go with my dad to get her the same one, today. This way she won't realize it's missing," she said and wiped her tears away. Fuck she was good.

"Will get your ass up in my room and bring me my silver chest," Bella ordered and consoled Julie.

"Thank you Ms Bella," she said and hugged. She looked at me over Bella's shoulder and winked at me. Little shit. No wonder she had my son from his balls.

"Here Ma," Will said and grabbed Julie's hand. "Let get you some water," he smiled and ran to the kitchen.

Bella sighed. "Poor thing, she's so upset."

"I know," I said and kissed her mouth. "I need to go. I promised Will and Julie sugar sprinkled popcorn."

"Oooh, bring me the chocolate ones, please," she moaned and that went straight to my dick.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around my neck tugging my hair hard enough to want to fuck her right on the spot. She palmed my cock outside my jeans making moan somewhat loudly.

"Jesus Bells," I panted. "What the fuck are you doing to me? I can't get enough of you."

"Likewise," she smirked and pulled back. "I just wanted to give you a small reminder not to forget my popcorn."

I snorted loudly. "Yeah, right." I smiled at her and ran my fingers through her rich hair. "Wanna have some fun?" I asked and she in return grinned. I knew her so well. "Yo Will! Come out here before you defile our kitchen!"

Bella smacked the back of my head and muttered 'jerk' under her breath. Will ran outside the kitchen, red faced dragging an equal embarrassed Julie.

I kissed my girl, grabbed the car keys and the kids and left. Once we were outside the door I high fived them both. I called Ma to let her know that Bella was alone and she told me that Charlie was on his way back home. I knew nothing bad would happen but still. She was a very pregnant woman with the tendency of tripping into thin air.

"We're gonna start from Tiffany's, okay?" I asked. It was a safe option. They both nodded and twenty minutes later we entered the posh store.

A man approached us and I immediately told him what I wanted: the most beautiful engagement ring. He started showing many samples until he reached and took out the best they ever had.

"This," he started. "Is called the Two Bees ring. Set in platinum with 18k gold accents, a round brilliant Tiffany diamond is framed by magnificent stones fashioned to resemble bees, a traditional symbol of royalty."

I took it in my fingers to speculate it. I liked it and I think it was something that Bella would like as well… in a different lifetime though. It was elegant but it just wasn't Bella.

"How much does it cost?" Julie asked.

"Such a cutie," he the clerk said and smiled. "Now little lady this is a very unique piece just like that special lady of his. Remember that this ring will adorn her finger forever and she will be able to look at it every day."

"The price please," Julie asked again and crossed her hands over her chest.

"$ 97.000," he said as if it was the simplest things of all.

"Christ," Will muttered and Julie paled. I on the other hand I looked at it and grabbed the edge if the desk to steady myself.

"For that?" Julie asked bewildered. "Thanks but no," she finished and took out her cell phone. "Let's go."

I thanked the clerk and left the damn store like a bat out of hell. Almost a hundred grand for a ring? You could buy a house with such money. What people were thinking when creating these things? Don't they see what happens around the world with the economy?

"Uncle El?" Juls asked on the phone. She instantly pouted. "I'm your favourite girl, don't you remember me?" She smiled instantly. "I know Uncle and I'm so sorry. I forgot about it. Just send Aunt Carmen to get the program and I will install it. Now I need a favor. Prepare all the dreamy rings and I'll be there in half an hour," she paused to listen and Will smiled at her and then winked at me. "No," she giggled and blushed. "It's for Willie's Mom."

' _There we go again with the Willie. If she ever saw the monster inside his pants she'd never call him that_ ' I thought and chuckled.

"Men," she said and looked at me, shaking her head. "We went to Tiffany's and some yahoo tried to sell us a monstrosity for a hundred grand. An engagement ring is supposed to be perfect and the man should know which one is right for her," she complained. "I know! Love you, be there shortly," she finished and hang up the phone.

The drive, even though it was a bit long, was okay. The kids were talking in hushed tones in the back and I kept thinking how to do the whole thing. I thought stage one: get the ring and stage two was to propose. Will suggested doing it at the park and I had to agree with him. The weather was magnificent. I wanted her to have my Bella completely to me as my wife, mother of my children, my soul mate. Was I being cheesy? Yeah and I didn't give a flying fuck!

"Baby girl," a middle aged man cheered when we entered the store. It was small and around the corner. Romance was all around the place. Ma would fucking love it here. Julie turned around and ran toward him. "I expected to see more of you since you're out of school."

"I know and I'm sorry," she said honestly and pouted. "I've been busy."

He turned to look at Will and narrowed his eyes, making my son gulp loudly. "You taking care of my girl, midget? Cause I swear if you're not, then I don't care how dins you have, you're dead."

"First of all they are called dans, I have one, I'm taking care of her and I'm not a midget. I'm taller than you sir… with all do respect," Will said calmly.

The man chuckled and looked at me. "I'll never be able to scare the shit out of him, am I?" I shook my head and smirked.

"I'm Eleazar Brown, Julie's uncle," he said and extended his hand.

"Edward Cullen, Will's father. Nice to meet you," I said shaking his hand.

"Now my little princess here demanded to prepare the dreamy rings. I assume you're in need of one?" he asked. I nodded. "Follow me then."

We went to the corner of the shop where there was a desk. He unlocked a drawer and took out a case with gold rings.

"Ew Uncle," Julie nearly screeched. "I told you the dreamy rings and not the hellish ones!"

Eleazar threw his head back and started laughing. He took out another one and placed in front of us. "You know I love to tease you honey."

"Humph!"

I took a good look at them and took one that had a teardrop diamond on it and nothing else, simple and elegant. I smiled and looked at Will. "What do you think kiddo?"

Will shrugged. "It's okay?"

"You don't like it?" I asked with a frown.

"I don't know anything about rings Dad," he said.

"Not helping here kid," I muttered.

"It's too plain," Julie said suddenly and bit the inside of her cheek. "Hm," she hummed and tapped her lips with her finger. She tilted her head to the side and she suddenly beamed. "I got it," she cheered and run behind somewhere in the store.

As we waited for the girl, a few framed pictures on the wall caught my attention. There were family ones. What surprised me though was one where a much younger Eleazar was in a church being baptized, as a very beautiful woman stood proudly next to him, smiling.

"That's my Theodora Carmen," he started. "My parents emigrated from Turkey to the States when I was only a baby. You see they wanted to offer their children the best life a parent could give. All of my family were very religious and to be honest I was as well- until I met her. Carmen's mother, Thallia, was Greek and religious as well. Once she met her husband, of Spanish origin, he converted for her and got married. I didn't think that our religion would be a problem you know, different country; different way of bringing up. It was though even here. The muslins weren't allowed ethically to marry a Christian Orthodox unless one of them converted. Things may be different now but still.

"My parents wouldn't even want to hear of it. Either she changed or I'd have to leave her. Julie's father was my best friend ever since I remember myself. His parents, knowing our situation from the beginning, took me in and sort of adopted me. I changed my religion and name for her and I never once regretted my decision," he continued. "My parents haven't talked to me for twenty six years. It hurt and still does but I'm used to it. This picture was from my baptism and this," he pointed to another, "…is from our wedding day, three hours later."

"Do you have any siblings?" I asked.

"Yes. Their names are Murat and Deniz. They are two and three years younger than me," he smiled and looked at another picture of three children. "That's them and me."

"Do you at least have communication with them?"

His demeanour changed and became sadder. "No. The last time I saw them was when they were waiting for me outside the church. Murat told me 'Serhan, please. Don't do this- don't lose yourself over a woman. Remember what your mane means.' It saddened me because we grew up together and I thought that he would understand better but he didn't. My sister didn't say a word but it was an enough answer for me to know that she agreed."

"I'm sorry about that," I mumbled.

"No my friend, don't be. I have the best wife a man could have and five children that love us unconditionally. If losing my family was the price I had to pay for this life then I'm glad I did," I smiled and patted my shoulder.

A high pitched squeal interrupted our conversation. "I found it!" Julie said and ran to me. "This is the perfect ring for Ms. Bella. Simple, elegant, her size and yet so very unique," she finished grinning like a Cheshire cat.

It was platinum with tiny shiny stones around the band and a small diamond on top of it. As I moved it around, small rainbows appeared as the remaining sun light hit it. It was beautiful and it was perfect for her. A small sob, barely audible escaped from my mouth as I fantasized of her wearing it, symbolizing our temporary union as we waited 'til we got married. I absolutely loved it.

"So?" Julie asked excitedly.

"It's perfect," I whispered. "Absolutely perfect for my girl."

"I told you so," she said triumphantly.

"We'll take it," I said with a wide smile.

The kids went and sat on a small couch and I waited patiently for Eleazar to return with the ring. I sent a quick message to Ma telling her to think of something for the following day as the family would be going on a picnic. If we were younger I would have planned something more extravagant and private but now I didn't. I wanted them included. All of them helped us in their own way and it wouldn't be right to miss the thing.

"Have you decided how you're going to propose?" Julie asked taking me out of my thoughts.

"No sweetheart. I have the whole night to figure it out though," I said and ruffled her hair.

"Hmm," she said.

"What now?" I smirked. She was a little devil.

"How about a romantic dinner?" she suggested.

I shook my head. "You can't have a romantic dinner with the whole family present."

She frowned. "Tough one then."

**≈ **Ж≈****

Everything was set. Will knew what to do and the rest were not suspicious. I debated asking Charlie for permission and to be honest I was very close to doing so but Will talked me out of it.

_Come on Dad. Just imagine his face when you say no. It will be epic. Besides, I'm the son and he is her father. It's me you should be asking that question…_

Little piece of shit. Everyone said that we were alike but I could also see some Emmett in him. I tried to imagine what our lives would have been had I been in his life all along and I couldn't. Maybe our relationship would have been different. Sometimes, deep inside me, I thank God that he… they were sent to me when I needed to be saved the most. I knew that I'm not a religious person at all but still the need to be thankful toward Him was strong.

All the way to the park I was sweating bullets. My hands were shaking and my heart was up to my mouth. I knew what her answer would be. It was yes since the first time I kissed her… tasted her. Yet I couldn't bring myself to think that there was a slight possibility that she'd say no. Being a child of divorced parents might have traumatised her or something. Maybe she didn't believe in marriage or that what we had was enough. Not for me though. I wanted everything.

"Calmati, papà. Tutto sarà perfetto," Will said from the back seat.

"What have I told both of you about Italian?" Bella groaned.

"Sorry Ma," Will started. "Dad is just worried about the babies and you." I glared at him. Why the fuck did he say that?

"Edward, everything is okay. You don't need to worry," she said and kissed my hand.

"Derek said that sometimes twins could come earlier," I mumbled.

"And if they come they're going to be okay, honey."

"Okay," I sighed and looked at my son through the rear-view mirror. I found him smirking.

We found a nice spot that had a marble table and benches on either side. Ma and Rose set everything while we watched Will playing with Sunny. Dad and Emmett were holding the babies and Alice along with Jasper and little Rachel were to arrive soon.

"We should get another dog," I said suddenly.

Bella started laughing. "Let me see: we have a son in his pre-teens, a dog, your mother, my father," she continued. ' _Thanks for reminding me about our parents babe,_ ' I thought. "Your job, your Ma's bakery which takes up a lot of her time. What else am I forgetting?" she said tapping her lips. "Oh and twins," she cheered and then side glared me. "Edward are you out of your mind? Who's gonna train the puppy?"

"We'll do it. Come on babe. Look at Sunny. Wouldn't be nice to have someone to play with when we're all tending the babies? He'll get depressed and trust me when I say that they do get depressed. It happened to Marcus, when Lucy gave birth to their son," I said. I considered that a small prologue. "Marcus had to take him for daily walks, spend time with him to show him that he cared. At least with a new puppy he'll have something to do."

Her eyes softened as she watched Sunny and then she groaned and arched her back. "Jesus," she hissed. "As if my ribs aren't enough, now they decided to attack my back."

I rubbed her back a little and Ma announced that everything was ready and we started digging in. Due to my nerves, I had barely touched my food. The ring was burning my pocket and my chest felt tight.

_Man it up fucker! You're gonna ask your woman to marry you and nothing else!_

Will wiped his mouth, got up and walked toward Bella. I got up, to allow him to sit next to her and turn her toward him. I stood right beside her looking at her back.

"Ma I want to do it now," he whispered. "Just keep looking at me, okay?"

"Okay baby," she smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Dad?" Will called without looking at me. "I want to ask you something."

"Go ahead Will," I said and cleared my throat.

"You know that when the boys get here we're gonna have an issue right?"

"What issue?" I asked stupidly in a feeble attempt to play my part.

"The issue," he said seriously, "... is that the boys will have a different name. They are going to be Cullens and I'll be a Swan," he paused. I smiled as Bella squeezed his hand in hers, never taking her eyes from his. "When they get older they are going to start asking why I have a different name since you're my father."

"So?" I asked dumbly.

"Esme did you ever drop him on his head?" Rosalie asked. "I swear he's so stupid sometimes!"

Charlie folded his hands over his chest and squinted at me. Ma was glaring and Emmett looked into my eyes only to smirk. The fucker knew. Stupid twin bond. Alice on the other hand, was being held by Tex, to prevent her from jumping on me.

"Keep going Will," Bella said.

He took a deep breath and looked at me briefly. "So, I want to be a Cullen too."

There was a deadly silence. I reached the back of my pocket and took the ring out, holding it behind my back. I shook my head. "No."

"What?" Ma screeched.

"You fucker!" Rosalie seethed.

"Jerk!" Alice yelled and trying to leave from Jasper's grip.

Charlie on the other hand was ready to have an aneurism. Bella's shoulders were shaking and Will was trying really hard not to smile. Bella stood up and when she turned around, I felt like thousands of knifes and razors were slicing through my skin.

"What the hell did you just say?" she asked in a deadly tone. Fuck she was pissed.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I said no."

"And why is that?" she spat.

"Sit down Bella," I said and lifted my hand to help her.

"Don't touch me," she said with disgust, sat down and covered her face with her hands. It was time to just say it cause the vain on her forehead was about to burst.

"Will, do you want to know why the answer is no, son?"

"Oh yeah," he laughed.

I kneeled on my knee and looked at Bella. "Because your Ma is still a Swan herself."

Bella jerked her head up and looked at me with with wide tearful eyes. I smiled at her. I opened the box and presented her the ring.

"Oh my god," Ma, Rosalie and Alice gasped at the same time.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I have loved you since I was sixteen. There are no words to express how it feels everytime I wake up with you in my arms. We've been through some tough shit and yet we managed to work it out. You gave me a son that I love more than my own life and we're expecting two more that will make our family bigger and stronger. I love you so much it hurts sometimes and I can't bring myself to regret it because I don't want to. So please, will you make me the luckiest man ever by becoming my wife? Will you marry me?"

No one didn't even dare to breathe. My son was beaming, Ma was crying and the rest were just looking at us. Bella didn't say anything. She just kept looking at the ring with furrowed eyebrows and that in my book wasn't good.

"Ma?" Will called and nudged her with his shoulder. "Aren't you gonna say anything?" All she did was look at the ring and back to me, chewing her lip.

"If you don't like the ring we could change it," I said calmly but inside of me I was already weeping.

She sighed and got up. "Gosh Edward, it's not that," she whispered and rubbed her forehead.

"Then what?" I said through my teeth. She was rejecting me. She sniffled and lowered her head.

"Devo dire qualcosa?" Will asked.

"No," I whispered and I finally let the tears fall. I wiped them quickly, turned my back and suddenly I heard a giggle. I'd recognize that giggle among millions but I didn't turn. I felt a small tap on my shoulder and shook it off. And then another and another.

"What Bell..." I started and snapped my mouth shut with the sight in front of me. She was smiling widely wiggling her left hand's fingers at me. I gaped at her and instantly she jumped on me knocking us both on the ground.

She crashed her lips with mine and I reciprocated as fiercely as her. Our tongues were battling in our mouths and still it wasn't enough. It would never be enough when it came to her.

"You wench," I whispered in her ear, grinning like a fool. "You're so fucked when we get home."

"Uh huh," she smirked. I started tickling her and she begged for mercy.

"I love you," I said and smiled at her.

"I know," she sighed and laid her forehead on mine. "We've got so much to plan but first I need to figure out how to get up," she joked.

Charlie went to help Bella get up and as she did I felt something warm on my pants. I looked down and I was wet... but so was Bella's pants. "B-Bella?" I stammered with wide eyes. That was definitely _not_ good!

She shut her eyes tightly groaned and started breathing in and out. Everything happened so fast. Will ran toward the car and I followed right behind him, carrying Bella in bridal style. I started driving like a madman while Will hollered from the window for the fuckers to move out of the way. Bella's contractions were not close but when she had them they were strong.

By the time we arrived at the hospital, thirty minutes later, Derek was waiting at the reception. They wheeled Bella away and I stayed back because I needed to fill some papers. When I was done I went to the room and saw they she was already hooked up with drips, a blood pressure machine and CTG. I sat on the chair right next to Will's and kissed her hand.

"You scared the shit out of me," I said in a hoarse voice.

She groaned and shifted on her bed. "I'm giving birth Edward and not dying."

The door opened and Derek came inside. "I thought you might need these," he smiled, handing me a pair of scrubs.

"Thank you," I said. "How are things going?"

"It's going to be fast. She's five centimeters dilated already so all we need to do is wait. The boys are fighting each other who gets to come out first. The heartbeats are fast and loud and I'm expecting the lab work as we speak," he said and checked the CTG. "I'll be back in a bit to check your progress, okay? If you think you can't handle the pain, we'll talk about an epidural." he said and after Bells nodded he left.

I quickly hurried to the bathroom, washed myself and got dressed. I leaned my forehead on the door and started taking deep breaths. This was it. Our boys were coming and I was scared to death. I took Lamaze classes with her but still. This was the real thing and it was way different than just practicing.

I opened the door and met Will's eyes. They were wild and the poor kid was pale like a sheet. ' _I'm scared too Will,_ ' I thought to myself. I pulled the chair around the bed to the other side and sat down. Bella looked at me and smiled as another contraction hit. She gripped my hand so hard and even though the force was enough to cause damage, no sound came from her mouth.

"In and out baby," I whispered to her. "In and out."

"Edward?" she panted.

"Yes sweetheart," I said. "You want some water?"

"I want you to shut up! Christ," she hissed and moaned.

Will grabbed a small wash cloth and ran it over her face. His face was bright red and trust me when I say that it wasn't from embarrassment. He was angry. Ma and Charlie came inside and placed a suitcase on the floor. As if no one else was in the room, she headed straight for Bella.

"Are you okay baby girl?" Charlie asked and she smiled tiredly.

"Yes daddy," she said and sighed. She stared into his eyes as if they were communicating and Charlie nodded.

"Boys, lets get something to drink," he suggested and patted Will on his back.

"I'm not going anywhere," Will said.

"Will baby, will you bring me some ice chips?" Bella asked.

He nodded and got up. I kissed her tenderly on the lips whispering how much I loved her and followed the others. We kept walking in silence until we reached the cafeteria. I sat down and Charlie went with Will to order. I was about to become a father and fuck my life if I was ready. The Chief returned but he was alone. He placed a coffee in front of me and I looked around to find my son but he was nowhere.

"He took Bella the ice chips and if I'm correct he won't be returning," he said and took a sip from his coffee. "You're on his shitlist now," he chuckled.

"What? Why?" I gasped.

"He thinks you're responsible for Bella's condition," he said.

"I am," I mumbled.

"Last time I checked she didn't complain about it you know," he said almost immediately, looking outside the window. "Besides having a child hurts and he knows that. He doesn't have to be a jerk about it."

"I should talk to him."

"I think you should let him come to you. He is almost a teen Edward. He's bound to be moody," he said and patted my back. "So are you ready?"

I looked at him as if he's grown another head. "Are you serious Chief? I'm about to shit in my pants from fright but elated that they're finally coming."

"I know, "he smiled. "I felt the same when Renee was giving birth."

I shook my head. "I don't think I can be in there Charlie," I whispered and shook my trembling hand. "I don't think I could watch her in so much pain.

"Look at me," he demanded. "You're gonna go in there son, ya here me? She's going to need you more than ever! You can't imagine how tough it was for her not having you there when Will was born. I know that you're scared as I know that you don't want her in pain. Both of you created those babies and I'll be damned if I allow you not to be there when they open their eyes for the first time!"

I shut my mouth and didn't say anything. He was right. Bella needed me and I acted like a fucking baby. I had to get my shit together and fast. "Now, I'm going to buy you a sandwich and you'll eat all of it. We don't know how long it will take."

My mind was focused on my Bella and I prayed to whom ever was up there to keep her and my boys safe. Jesus! There was no way I wouldn't kiss the floor during the birth with all the blood and fluids. What about the cords? Did I even want to cut them? What if I didn't do it the right way and hurt the babies?

' _You'll find the strength,_ ' a voice in my head said. ' _You'd never do anything to hurt them._ '

Charlie left soon after he brought me food and I was left alone. I ate at a snail's pace: bite, chew, swallow. Ten minutes later I was done. I lifted my head and saw Will sitting where Charlie was with his head lowered.

"Let's go outside for a second," I whispered and he nodded.

It was a very warm day and we sat on a bench outside where the sun was directly in front of us. I lit a cigarette and blew the smoke heavily. I knew I needed to quit that shit but I didn't want too. In moments of the same intensity would always be around the corner and I would definitely need to smoke one. Thank God Bella was understanding and gave me no shit about it. Of course I never gave her a reason to do so. I tried to quit but lets face it: when you don't want too there's nothing you can do.

A cry of happiness from a man dragged me out of my inane thoughts. He was crying over the phone, saying that he was a daddy of a beautiful baby girl; that she was a copy cut of him and he swears she smiles at him when he first held her. Believe it or not that confession made my eyes watery. I was about to become a dad myself for the second-third time and I was fucking sitting on that awful bench instead of being with my girl. Fuck!

I got up suddenly and threw my cigarette. Will got up, never saying a word and stood next to me. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

I furrowed my eye brows. "What for?"

"For being a jerk earlier. I know Pop told you. I just hate it when she's in pain."

I sighed and kissed the top of his head. "I know but it's inevitable. Don't think I'm happy about it."

"I'm so not putting any woman through something like that."

I decided to lighten the mood a bit so I chuckled. "You need to have sex first. Have it covered and nothing will happen."

He looked at me horrified, paling by the second. "Seriously dad? You talking about _that_ now?"

I through my head back and started laughing with all my heart until tears were rolling down my cheeks. "Come on champ. Let's go and wait with the others until the boys come."

He snickered. "Last time I checked, I'd be waiting outside when you'd be with Ma. And that reminds me a message Ma passed to tell you."

"Which is?" I asked as I called the elevator.

"Tell your father to hawl up his ass over here!"

And that was when I knew I was fucked.

**≈ **Ж≈****

"Okay Bella relax," Derek said and smiled. "When the next one comes..."

"I fucking know what to do when the next one comes. Jesus!" Bella hissed, panting wildly.

All I did was just sit next to her, kiss her temple every once in a while and swallow the suffering of having my fingers crushed every two minutes. Everything I was taught through Lamaze; gone. My heart was up to my mouth and my head was pounding. I wish I' d be able somehow to endure the pain and not her. It was so frustrating.

"You're doing so well baby," I whispered in her ear.

"Fuck you Edward!" she snarled as another contraction hit. "You did this to me!"

I squeezed her hand telling her silently to do and say whatever she wanted. The swearing didn't matter as I knew it was coming. She kept pushing and pushing. She may have or may have not have farted at some point. I was used to that as well. Pregnancy had a lot of gases. A. Lot!

"Get me some drugs," she moaned and started crying.

"Sorry Bella. The head is crowning. I can't do that," Derek said. "On the next push the head will be out. Edward, come and see."

Did I want to see? No! However I got up and leaned beside Bella's legs and Oh. My. God! My eyes widened and I gasped loudly.

"What? Edward?" Bella called frantically. "Is everything okay?"

Was it horrifying? Fuck yes! Jesus, how did it get back to normal? How long would it take to get back to normal? Good God!

"Edward!" called anxiously.

I closed my eyes and shook my head lightly. Then I turned to her and smiled. "If I'm not mistaken with the blood and all he's gonna have my hair." Bella burst into tears, chanting how much she loved me. And I knew she did as much as I.

"Bella when the next one comes push as much as you can," the doc instructed.

"I'm pushing," she said through clenched teeth. "Oh God! Touch me again asshole and you're dead," she spat at me.

I was in a daze until I heard a shrill cry and everything else evaporated from around me. All I could see was a beautiful baby, being placed on Bella's tummy. A sob escaped from my mouth and I started crying. This was the most amazing thing in the whole world. We created that beautiful baby, kind of small but fucking beautiful. He opened his eyes and Bella gasped at the sight: they were steel gray. He was gorgeous.

"Will daddy do the honors?" Derek asked and held out some weird scissors.

"Eh," was my brilliant answer.

"Don't worry. He won't feel a thing. The umbilical cord is nerveless. Come on," he insisted.

The cord was cut and I turned my attention back to Bella and our son. Thousands of things ran through my mind: his first word that he'd say, his first steps, the first time he'd try to bat, his first piano lesson. My boy would learn the piano or whatever he wished. He'd want for nothing.

"He's so beautiful,"Bella cried with a huge smile.

I wiped her tears away and kissed her on the lips. "He looks like you," I teased.

She sort of snorted and laughed. "He's your copy cut. These eyes will turn green. Mark my words," she said and sighed.

The midwife took my son stating that he needed to be cleaned and checked by the pediatrician. I squeezed Bella's hand, with a goofy grin on my face. Happiness like this could never be expressed.

"I'm sorry," my girl whispered.

"For what?" I asked astonished.

"For swearing at you. I didn't mean too. When I had Will they'd given me an epidural so I didn't feel anything."

"Bells don't be absurd. You can say whatever you want to me," I smirked. "Besides," I continued, whispering in her ear. "It was kind of hot. You swearing and all."

She raised her eyebrows at me and instantly she frowned and started panting. "Oh God! Derek he's coming," she shrieked and caught my hand with a death grip.

"Here we go," he cheered. Fucking doctors! "He'll almost come out at once Bella. A couple of good pushes and we're done."

"Oh fuck," she cried. "I need to push."

I smiled brightly. Almost done. A couple of pushes more and it'd be over.

"Give me one good push Bella," the doc instructed. "The head will be out."

"Okay," she panted and screamed with all she had.

"Stop."

"I need to push!" she yelled.

"And I need to cut the cord. It's wrapped around his neck," he said calmly.

Once I looked between her legs, I realized the mistake I did. I shouldn't have done that. His head was a bit of purple. He wasn't getting enough oxygen. My eyes started brimming with tears as I looked at my son.

' _Please let him be okay,_ ' I chanted as I was watching the doc working. The whole procedure wasn't more than a minute but every second seemed like a year.

"Perfect," he said.

I turned my attention back to Bella her face was red from restraining herself. I kissed her hand and she glared at me. "He's almost here."

"Edward, shut it or I swear to all mighty that you won't live the next hour," she snapped and screamed again. "I need to push!"

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until Bella exhaled loudly. She crashed her head on the pillow and the sweetest cry ever filled the room. I started laughing and crying at the same time as Derek placed our second angel in our hands. He looked like his second big brother. A soft coating of bronze covered his head and his eyes were the exact shade of gray. He was a bit smaller though but it was expected. I just hoped he wouldn't spend too much time in the incubator. I wanted my family complete as soon as possible.

"Hello baby," Bella cried. "I'm your mama and this gorgeous man is your daddy." I chuckled. "What?" she smiled.

"His asshole of a daddy actually," I said and winked at her.

Bella frowned and her lower lip started trembling. "I'm sorry."

Without giving a fuck for those around us, I leaned forward and plunged my tongue in her mouth. Since she wouldn't understand that I didn't mind then the next way imaginable was to show her. I kissed her with everything I had, caressing her cheek with one hand and hugging our baby with the other. They were my life and I didn't give a shit about anything else. They would always come first no matter what.

"Lets get this little guy cleaned and introduce him to the rest of the family, shall we?" the midwife asked.

We both nodded and she asked me to follow her. Derek and the other midwife started working on Bell and I walked behind the other. She settled the baby on the changing table and picked up the first one. "Here. Hold him while I clean the other and the pediatrician checks him."

I took him in my arms and sat in a chair nearby. He was beautiful with rosy chubby cheeks. He was looking around, taking in the blurry images he was seeing and every time he heard a sound he focused to where it came from. When those eyes of his looked at me, I burst into tears once again. At that point I was pretty sure I'd cry a lot. It was as if he could see into my soul. I lifted my hands a bit and kissed his forehead, inhaling his cottonish baby scent.

"Hello son," I whispered. "I'm your daddy and welcome to the world. I love you much."

**≈ **Ж≈****

Will was standing in front of the window where they kept the babies. Baby #1 was in there while baby #2 was in the NICU. Dr. Ridgeley wanted to have him in the incubator for a few days as a precaution. There was nothing really wrong with him but from a small breathing difficulty and his weight as he was born almost two pounds less than his brother. We still didn't know the names. My boy refused to reveal them until his second baby brother was okay. It was a sort of pact the two of them had.

" _Can I hold him for a moment?" Will asked the nurse timidly._

" _Sure thing honey. Just be careful with his feeding tube,okay?"_

_Will nodded and sat down on a chair next to the incubator. The nurse took the baby out of the machine and with careful moves she placed into Will's waiting him arms. He carefully raised his arms and kissed his forehead lightly._

" _Hey little bro," he started. "I think you're a bit heavier than you were yesterday which is good. Your twin is doing good but I need to confess that he has Uncle Emmet's appetite. That boy can eat. I swear he drank the baby formula in four gulps," he chuckled. "Can you imagine that? Uncle Em was all over the place when we told him. He even said that he would set up a baby formula contest between Chase and our brother," he paused. "I made everyone call both of you baby #1 and #2. I refuse to reveal the names because you're in here. So lets make a deal: you get better as soon as possible and I swear that by the time they roll you in Mom's room, I'll tell everyone. I think that Ma is gonna love your name but I don't think that Dad will. He can suck it up though cause it's not changing. Just gain one pound brother and you'll have a name. That's all I ask."_

"Martin," I said.

"Nope," Will said smugly. "Dad, I'm not telling you."

"Dick," I continued.

Will's eyes widened and turned to look at me. "Why are you calling me a dick?"

"Dick as in Dickens, Will," I chuckled.

"God no," he said disgusted. "That name is just...wrong."

I laughed. He was so funny and to be honest I really loved the big brother attitude he gained throughout Bella's pregnancy. In some ways he reminded of my own brother. Always taking care of the babies even if they were just a couple of days old. He would be good and the age difference between them was a plus as well. Bella and I were the parents but Will was the brother and they wouldn't dare to cross him. What saddened me was the fact that just as they'd be about to go to school, Will would open his own wings and go to college. I dreaded that day. I didn't want him to choose a college across the country. I didn't think I'd ever be ready to let him go.

"I'm hungry," Will said and rubbed his growling belly. "Let's go get something to eat and for Ma also."

"Son, I had something at the station," I started. Last night Marcus called me and actually begged me to help for a couple of days. Bella was in a private suite and wouldn't be released until baby #2 was out of the incubator. After talking about it with her I agreed. "Go and get something for yourself while I go to Ma. They'll bring the baby," I said and checked my watch, "... in about fifteen to feed him."

"Okay," he said and kissed my cheek.

I grabbed a flower bouquet from the hospital's flower shop and headed toward Bella's room. To be honest it bothered me that we'd still be here for a couple of days more but it was for my son's benefit. The doc earlier had said that he was getting better and that it wouldn't take long before he left. I wanted to go home and change my clothes but I'd missed them. I wanted to see them.

Bella's room was just around the corner with the door slightly ajar. As I put my hand on the door handle, I heard my beautiful girl's giggles and a man's laughter that I didn't recognize.

_What the fuck?_

"I've missed you so much my Bella," he said.

_His Bella? His fucking Bella?_

"Me too sweetheart," she said and the noise that followed was that of a loud kiss.

"Did you tell him?" he asked and sighed.

"I didn't have time babe," she said. "Everything happened so fast and I kinda forgot. I know Edward. He won't be pissed at all," she finished and chuckled.

I was already fucking pissed! Who the fuck was in there?

"You may but I don't. He doesn't know me either. I don't want to screw things up. I'm gonna be around more often now and I just want to be on good terms with him. I want to be in their lives Bella," that fucker said.

I was positively fuming by that moment. What the fuck did he mean?

"I missed Will's early years and I don't want to miss theirs as well. You're the only family I've left Bella and I love you much," he finished with a broken voice.

My hand was twitching to grab my gun. Who the fuck did he think he was stating shit like that? That was _my_ family, not his. Those were _my_ babies not his. Will was _my_ fucking son and not his! Bella was _mine_ and not his! No one was ever gonna get between us. I would kill the motherfucker without hesitating. Tears of anger welled in my eyes. My body was trembling so much and my chest was painfully tight. I threw the flowers on the floor and pushed the door lightly.

Bella was standing in front of the window and a man , with his shirt missing, was hugging her from behind. He was at least 6' 8" tall, with black hair that reached the middle of his shoulders. He had a tattoo on his left shoulder blade and another one on his lower back.

"I missed having you in my arms," he said in a low voice and hugged her tighter.

That was when everything turned red around me. That fucker was going down. I stalked toward them and placed the barrel of my gun on his head.

"Take your fucking hands off of her," I snarled. Bella jumped and turned around.

"Oh my god Edward! Put the gun down," she said as her face paled.

"He's got a gun on my head?" that pussy cried.

"On your fucking knees," I said and kicked his legs.

"Edward let him go," Bella cried.

"Shut up Bella," I hissed and glared at her.

"It's not what you think," she said and tried to pry the gun from my hand.

"I'd listen to her," he said and chuckled nervously.

"You shut your fucking mouth," I half yelled. "And make your peace with God."

"Whoa! What the hell?" Will said dropping everything from his hands. I didn't even notice him come in to the room. "Dad?"

"Will, get out baby," Bella said.

"Who the hell is that Ma and why is he half naked in your room?" Will asked as his faced started turning red.

"My knees are seriously killing me man," the asshole said. "Let me up!"

"Dad put the gun down," Will said, approaching me.

All I was seeing was her, crying. She'd betrayed me.

' _No Bella would never do that,_ " my mind screamed. ' _She loves you!_ '

"Edward please," she cried.

"Didn't you say that he was on leave Bells?" the fucker asked. "I knew I should have gone by the house and get Charlie before coming here."

"I said shut your fucking mouth," I snapped.

"Edward dude," he complained. "It's me, Jake!"

Suddenly everything became quiet. Will grabbed the opportunity and stepped between me and the fucker that was in the process of standing up. My son pushed me back, until my knees hit Bella's bed, sat down and took the gun out of my hand, taking out the magazine.

"Are you okay?" he whispered. I nodded and lowered my head.

I felt so stupid. I almost killed a man because of my jealousy. Fuck! My son had to witness that. What kind of a father am I? Fuck, fuck, fuck. She's so leaving my sorry ass!

"Edward?" she called and I didn't dare to lift my head and look at her. I was so ashamed of myself. She tangled her fingers with my hair and rested my forehead on her chest.

"I'm so sorry," I said in a hoarse voice. "I- I just saw you like that and I lost it. I'm so so sorry," I apologized without raising my head.

She lifted my chin with her fingers and there was no way avoiding her eyes. I hated to see disappointment in them. I only wanted to see them sparkle with love, darken when she feels lust. I hesitantly looked at her and she smiled, telling me that everything was okay, that nothing happened. She leaned in to peck my lips but by the time her lips touched mine, I grabbed her softly from the back of her neck and kissed her slowly but passionately.

"Who are you?" Will asked angrily, stopping our kiss abruptly.

"I'm Jake," Jake said and extended his hand to Will. "Uncle Jake to you of course."

Will looked at the extended hand and then glared at Jake. Bella opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her. 'Watch,' I mouthed at her.

"One, why your damn shirt is off?" he asked " and two, ain't got an uncle Jake."

Jacob looked at Bella and smiled widely. "He's a spit fire like his mama but hot headed like his dad."

I glared at him and he smirked. Just because I felt protective for what was mine that didn't mean I was hot headed, right? "Will, that man over there is a friend of ours from when your Ma and I lived in Forks. His name is Jacob Black and I think you saw him once when you were around six."

Will blinked once and then frowned lightly. "I don't remember him."

"It's okay," Jake started. "I hope we'll get to know each other better now and be friends," he continued and scratched his chest. "Uh, let me see if my shirt dried," he finished and went to the bathroom.

Bella placed her hand on my waist and rested her head over my chest. "He came a couple of hours ago. He finally transfered his business here and came here to visit once Jack told him that I gave birth. He came right on time when they brought me the baby to feed him," she said. "You see your son was so hungry that they brought him two hours earlier because he was about to make his lungs bleed from screaming. Jake offered to burp him and as a result the baby puked all over his back."

I was about to apologize again when Jake reappeared in the room with his semi dried shirt on. "Why thank you Bella," he grinned. "But you forgot that after he burped and puked all over me, he farted and shat himself. Now _that_ was disgusting. How can a tiny thing do that?"

"That's because I'm his uncle," Emmett said as he came inside, Jack following right behind him.

When Jack saw Jacob his steps faltered for a second and his eyes became wide. "J-Jake?" he stuttered. I swear that if there wasn't anyone in the room, he would have pounced on him.

Jake cleared his throat and smiled. "Surprise?"

Jack was in front of Jake in the blink of an eye and hugged him tightly. It must have been more than five months since Jack's last trip to Seattle. Ever since Bella and I got together, Jack became a good friend of mine but not after I ripped him a new one for the stunt he pulled on me. He deserved the punch after all. I didn't know how to feel since I never interacted with homosexual people. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic or anything, just saying it was weird.

Bella squeezed my bicep a little as Jake opened his eyes and looked at her. They were full of tears. There was no questioning whether there was love between these two. He gave her a tearful smile and mouthed a thank you to her. Apparently she was the one that asked Emmett to bring Jack here. Will came next to me, handed me the magazine of the gun and shook his head smiling.

"Stupid old man," he muttered, I shrugged my shoulders and winked.

We all stayed around for a while, chatting until visiting hours ended. Everyone kissed Bella before leaving and while Jack was talking to her I took Jacob to the side. I needed to apologize.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely and stretched my hand toward him. "Truce?"

Jake snorted loudly and hugged me. "No need to be sorry Edward. We were once friends," he continued as he released me. "And I missed you both so much, especially after..."

"I know," I sighed.

"Time for new beginnings then." He patted my shoulder once and then left.

**≈ **Ж≈****

Sunday morning, the twins were exactly a week old. Everyone was a bit agitated and worried because all we wanted was to go but we knew that we had to wait. Baby #2 was a bit better but still. His weight wasn't the one that would release us from the hospital. Apart from the two days I filled in the station, I hadn't left Bella's side. I couldn't go home and sleep when I knew that she would spend the night, alone thinking about or son. That way I always managed to get her to bed and force her sleep a few hours. Once I made sure that she was sleeping, I always found myself outside the box that held my son. The NICU nurses were very considerate and never gave me shit for the odd hours I went there. Sandra, the head nurse was very friendly and funny. One of those nights she advised me that singing to him and telling him stories would make him feel closer and more loved. So I did that. I would tell him stories about his brothers and make dreams for the future.

Will arrived with Charlie that morning and brought cupcakes Ma made and fresh coffee, organic always much to Bella's chagrin. My girl was addicted to coffee as much as I was. When she had Will her doc said she could drink a cup of normal coffee but it was better if she had organic because it was healthier. Better that than nothing at all. I looked at my watch since I knew by now that they would bring my always hungry son for his feeding.

"Good morning mommy," Alex called as she wheeled the cart towards Bella. "Someone is really hungry this morning."

"I would have never guessed," Bells said and giggled.

Charlie excused himself and left the room. Bella got comfortable, lowered her gown's side a bit and took out her enormous breast. The baby, knowing his drill, latched on her nipple and started sucking greedily, humming every couple of minutes. There was no more beautiful sight than that. Bella closed her eyes and sighed, a small smile plastered on her lips.

"Does it hurt?" Will asked.

Bella turned to look at him and kissed his cheek. "Not always. The pain is mostly in the first few weeks as the baby learns how to latch, the nipples accustom themselves to being stretched out and while the baby's mouth grows bigger."

"Oh," Will said.

He ate for a few minutes with little pauses in between to catch his breath and then Will volunteered to burp him. I placed the cloth on his shoulder and Bella gave him the baby. Will kissed his head softly and started patting and rubbing his back softly. Soon after, a loud burp and a fart followed. I through my head back and laughed while Bella shook her head.

"Men," was all she said.

The door suddenly opened and Alex entered with a wide smile on her face. "You've got a visitor," she breathed and stepped to the side. Dr. Rodgeley was walking toward the room with a screaming baby in his arms. Bella burst into tears and got off the bed instantly.

"My heart," she sobbed and took him in her arms. My eyes filled with tears as I placed my hand around Bella and hugged her. He looked so healthy and strong.

"I'm happy to inform you that your son is now 6. 9 pounds. We're going to keep him today as well and first thing in the morning you're going home," he smiled and after he answered a couple of questions he left.

Bella and I sat on the couch carefully and made herself comfortable. Will approached us, handed me the other baby and sat on the floor facing us.

"So?" I said and smirked.

He grinned and sat on his knees. "Mr. Farty here is Landon Emmett," he said and looked at me. "And this," he continued and took him in his arms, "...is Edward Aaron."

And just like that, everything was perfect...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian Translations using Google's translator. Sorry for the mistakes. I'm sure there are... lol.
> 
> ~ Calmati, papà. Tutto sarà perfetto: Calm down Dad. Everything will be perfect.
> 
> ~ Devo dire qualcosa? :Should I say something?
> 
> My mom is Greek but was born and raised in Istanbul. She once told me that the Turkish names had meanings. So here they are:
> 
> Murat means wish.
> 
> Deniz means sea.


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.

If someone had told me how many things would have happened in my life the past seventeen years, I wouldn't have believed a thing. Life had been good to us and even though we had our up-side downs we always managed.

I was still on the force but after a severe injury I had several years back, I was placed behind the desk. I missed active duty but I didn't give a fuck. It's a shame how violent the world we live in, could be. Our duty is to protect people but what happens when they don't want it? I'll tell you what. You get shot twice on the chest and to seal the deal with your death, they fuck you up with a crow bar, breaking your skull and several bones on your body. I was in a coma for forty-two days. When it happened Will was seventeen, the twins four and Bella was pregnant. My girl almost lost our baby that night. Ma had a severe panic attack and Charlie was admitted with high blood pressure. The doctors were afraid that he was heading for a heart attack if not for a stroke. Emmett was away in Europe for a medical conference and had Rose and the kids with him. It wasn't until two days later when they managed to break them the news about me. Bottom-line is that everything went fine at the end. Of course I missed the birth of my youngest but Will was with his Ma and gave me the details and if you wonder, no swearing or death threats were involved.

I think though it's better to start to what happened to the rest of the family, no?

Charlie, three years after he moved to Chicago, got married. Yeah, you heard me. Apparently, the reason Ma and him acted like conjoined twins, was because he had the hots for Mrs. Lawrence, a widow at the age of forty two at the time. Ma, saw how he acted around her and decided to teach Charlie how to sweep a woman off of her feet plus offered to be his guinea pig and practice his romancing skills. Mrs. Lawrence was hesitant at the beginning but she finally gave in and became Mrs. Swan. Bella loved her to pieces. When my Will asked him how he managed to 'woo' her, Charlie's lips twitched and said that the Swan charm was irresistible. And how very true that statement was.

Landon and Edward were the exact opposites. Where Landon was more of a Mama's boy, Edward was all me. Landon was more open with friendships and activities where Edward was reserved and had very little friends. They were both great students, great big brothers for our youngest and worshiped the floor Will walked. Landon was a very _energetic_ child. He always ran around the house, tripping over thin air- a treat he got from his darling mother- break things and blame Edward. My poor boy would take the blame always. We, of course knew who did it and always chastised Landon. He always ended up doing it again and again. That was when Will stepped up. It always took him to call Landon's name once and that was it; he wouldn't do it again.

Will was like a role model for them. He taught them Tae Kwon Do and Italian since he had a diploma, helped them with school work and advised them whenever they sought his guidance. He was God in their eyes and nothing he did was wrong, not even when he got drank for the first time after a stupid fight we had. He was fresh out of college and dropped the bomb of what he wanted to do for a profession. Only when I heard his decision, did I understand Ma's objection about mine.

Will became a police officer like Charlie and me. He wanted it to become a tradition of sort. He promised that he would always be careful and that we should have more faith in him. When he became twenty five and got more involved with the companies, he decided to go to business school while he worked because he didn't like to bother my cousins and Uncle J with questions. He graduated top in his class and even though he had the opportunity to work with the best, he didn't. He already had a job and he wasn't looking forward in changing that.

He was thirty one now and he still had his work. At some point he did tell me that only when he felt ready would he leave his current profession to another one. Apparently he still wasn't and that scared the shit out of me. He never got a scratch at work but still. Marcus offered to pull some strings and bring him with us but my boy refused which was good because neither of us would be able to do our job. I'd be worried for him all the time and the other way around. He was placed on the 8th PD which was one of the best.

"How are you feeling Edward?" the nurse asked taking me out of my thoughts.

Um, yeah. I forgot to say that I was in the hospital… again. Earlier in the morning I felt dizzy and nearly fainted. Landon panicked and brought me here.

"I'm good actually," I smiled.

"Your vitals indicate so," she smiled. "The doctor will come by in a few minutes. He will suggest that you stay the night so don't give him any grief."

I smirked at her. "Sure Shira."

Shira was a very good friend of Rose's. She emigrated to the States a few years back. She met her husband in India while he was vacationing there and that was it. They fell in love and soon after they married. Her car broke down one day and Rose happened to pass by. She fell sorry for the struggling woman under the hood and helped her.

"I trust you on this," she winked and left.

I sighed as the door closed. Bella and I have been married for sixteen years now and it felt as if nothing had changed. I was still irrevocably in love with her and she with me. This brings me back as to why I was here alone. You see she told me right before she left for work not to fix the shed because of the heat. I didn't listen of course and here I was, being treated for a heat stroke. In the past years whenever I did something she didn't approve for several of reasons, her punishment was the silent treatment. And it sucked. You have no idea how difficult it was to sleep next her and not being able to touch her. Once the twenty four silent treatment ended, she would ask if I learned my lesson, I would nod with my head lowered and then we would fuck. And it was never gentle, if you get my meaning.

Will on the other side was nothing compared to her. I was his weak spot. I would never forget his eyes when I opened mine after being out for forty plus days all those years back. He was so tired and so very sad, terrified. He didn't even utter a word. After the docs had checked me, he just grabbed my hand in his and laid his head on my bed and slept. The morning two days after I woke up will never be forgotten…

" _Leave us," Will demanded calmly._

" _Baby, your father needs…" Ma started only to be interrupted almost immediately._

" _He needs to have a talk with me Nana," he said and turned to look at her. "Now leave us. Get some ice-cream for the pennies," he smiled._

_She left with the boys and he closed the door. He dragged the chair and sat on it._

" _Will," I started._

" _Shut up dad," he snapped. "For fucks sake! You almost got killed! Why? Why didn't you wait for your partner? All you had to do was wait!"_

_I sighed sadly. "I heard a gunshot Will. I had to go."_

" _No! You had to wait for your partner," he nearly screamed. "You can't go on your fucking hero mode every time. You have a family now and another baby on the way. That's why you asked for a partner four years ago and now this?"_

" _It's my job Will."_

_That was when I finally understood that my son was becoming a man who would stand up even to me. "You have two choices: a) you ask Marcus to put you behind the desk or b) you stay on active duty and I grab Ma and kids and move to Forks."_

_I snorted. "A) Don't even dare to threaten me ever again and b) you hate that place."_

" _I hate not having my father around," he exploded. "I grew up without you and I'll be damned if I let the same thing happen to my siblings," he cried. "So make your choice dad; your job or us?"_

_I stayed silent for a long time. I knew the answer but I didn't want to speak just yet because I knew that I would fuck things up. I was still recovering and I didn't want to fight with him because he was right. I should have waited for back up but at the moment I didn't think. Someone was being killed and I had to act._

" _Okay Will," I said and looked at him._

" _I need you to promise me one thing," he said determined. "Promise me that no matter what, you'll never put us go through this shit ever again. Promise me that when you see a threat you'll leave and not look back. Promise me, please promise me," he pleaded._

" _I promise son," I said and felt my tears pooling into my eyes._

It was still heartbreaking but I could understand why he felt the way he did. I felt the same every time he left to go at work. I knew the dangers and risks but I couldn't do anything about it. It was his choice and I respected that. It was important for him to know that I respected his decisions.

"Daddy," the sweetest voice on earth called as the door of my room burst open.

" _Do you want to hold her?" Will asked as he sat on my bed with a lilac bundle in his hands._

" _Sure," I said and moved slowly on my bed, trying to find a less painless position._

_When I was comfortable enough, I stretched my hands and he placed her in my arms. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I knew that I had said that for my three boys but the world started and ended with her. She was my little princess, my baby girl._

" _Gorgeous little thing, eh?" Will asked and smiled tenderly as he ran his knuckles over her tiny face._

" _Yes," I whispered._

_My Amelia was all Bella, head to toe. There was no Cullen in her appearance; pure Swan: lots of brown hair, her Ma's cute nose and lovely lips. I whimpered as I imagined the day a fucker would try to take her away from me._

" _We're fucked," Will sighed sadly and I chuckled._

" _I'm afraid so."_

"Hello beautiful," I said and opened my arms for her.

"Don't beautiful me," she pouted and crossed her hands over her chest before she sank on the chair.

_Fuck!_

"What's the matter baby girl?" I asked.

"The matter is that I just got out of practice and instead of going home in order to get ready so we," she said pointing between us, "..could go shooting…"

What? She's my girl and she has to know how to shoot! Charlie even comes with us. It's a father's right to teach his baby how to protect herself.

"The boys brought me here," she finished and sniffled.

"Ooh don't let Ma hear that!" Landon teased.

Edward slapped the back of his head. "Shut it Lan." Landon glared at him and suddenly he smiled. That was the revenge smile.

"Boys," I said sternly.

"You scared me daddy," she said and burst into tears. "Ma and Uncle Bear told you to take it easy with the heavy chores. You're not young anymore."

I rolled my eyes. Forty-eight wasn't old! "Baby look at me," I asked gently. "I know it was stupid of me but I really wanted to get the shed ready. You know how much your Mama loves to sit there in the afternoon."

"I know," she said and lowered her head. "I don't like it when you're sick."

I chuckled. "Neither do I sweetheart but I promise to wait next time."

She squinted at me. "Pinky promise?"

"Always," I smiled.

"Well good," she said and sat on the bed next to me. I hugged her and kissed the top of her head. "Will finished the shed and went to work. He said he'd come by after he was done."

The boys sat on a small couch and we started talking. Their Principal, Mr. Jordan retired and a new one was taking over. So far they new that it was a woman and rumors said that she was ugly. Whenever Landon said shit like that it always pissed me off.

"What have I told you about criticizing people about their looks?" I asked irritated.

"That looks change but the personality is what counts," he said and rolled his eyes. "I only said what Bran said and not what I think about her. Jesus Dad."

I huffed and looked at Edward. He looked somewhat troubled but I knew that if I asked him now he wouldn't say anything. I was perfectly sure that he would come to me if he couldn't figure it out. My son was a boy that he looked for alternatives and if nothing worked then he sought us.

"Nana and Grandpa Jim are having fun in Atlanta. She called earlier and said that they are coming back in a couple of days," Lan said.

Ah Jim, my step-father. Ma met him at her store one day. He wanted to compliment the person who made those mouthwatering cupcakes she made and the rest were history. That doesn't mean of course that he didn't go through hell to prove himself. Both Will and I did a background check on him and he seemed to be decent: he was a sixty-three year old man at the time with a successful career in the Army, about to be retired- divorced, no children, and no living family. The thing that didn't help him at all first was the fact that his whole body screamed authority so we had to make sure that he wasn't a psycho that beat women and when Ma invited him over for a family dinner, we took action.

Imagine a man, in his sixties being 'attacked' by my boys, Emmett, his boys, Emmett Jr., Chase and Dana, Charlie, yours truly and my princess in front of us with a scowl on her face.

" _Do you love my Nana?" Amelia asked._

" _I do darling," Jim smiled at her._

" _I'm not your darling," Amelia said as serious as an eleven year old could sound. "Our Nana is the Queen here and we treat her with respect and full of love," she finished. She turned to look at me, smiled and winked._

" _Yeah," Landon said. "So talk!"_

" _What are your intentions about my Es?" Charlie asked._

" _I wish to marry her one day," he said and looked our faces. "I've been alone for a very long time and Esme made me not to want to. She is kind and loving; she would do anything for her family and that is the main reason I asked her to meet all of you. I know that you don't know me but I know every thing about you and I only hope that you'll want to know me," he finished and sighed._

" _Baby, why don't you go and see if dinner is ready?" I asked my little one._

" _Okay," she said and left with Dana following her._

_I cleared my throat. "I don't know how much she told you about my f…"_

" _I know everything about Carlisle, Edward," he said. "I give you my word that I'm nothing like him. I would never hurt her."_

" _As if you'd try," Will piped in. "You'd be buried six feet under before you even lift your hand. I'm gonna say this only once and you better imprint it to your brain. We take care of our own. Fuck with us and even God won't be able to find you."_

" _I like him," Jim smirked. "Just like Esme described him: fierce and loyal. I'm a man of honor William and I swear to you no harm will come ever to her."_

" _Are you done shitting with the old dude?" Chase complained and his stomach growled. "I'm hungry."_

_Everyone started laughing and welcomed Jim to the family._

"That's good. See another reason why I had to fix the shed today," I said.

"Don't start dad," Edward said. "Besides we need to get going. Aunt Ro is waiting for us."

"Okay," I said. I kissed my girl and they left.

**≈ **Ж≈****

When I opened my eyes it was dark. I switched on the light above my bed and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Will sitting on the couch, wearing his uniform.

"Jesus kid," I said and placed my palm over my chest. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Payback for the scare you gave me at the park, remember?" he said and sighed.

"Come here," I said and patted the bed. He dragged the chair next to me and sat down. "What's the matter?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and threw his back. "Trouble at work."

"Such as?"

"We arrested a fourteen year old girl prostituting. While we drove back to the station all I could think was what if it was my sister? She was in Amelia's age and had no one dad," he said and the torture was visible in his eyes. "Who abandons a child?"

"It's a harsh thing kiddo but you can't do anything about it. If this girl isn't placed in a proper home it's most likely that she will continue with this professional root when she becomes an adult," I said sadly.

"I know," he said. "Anyway, I finished painting my house."

When Amelia turned two we sold the house and bought a new bigger one in the same area that had a lot of land. After Will turned twenty six, he expressed his wish to build something on the property. You see he wanted to live alone but not far from the house so we started looking for construction companies and all. So after a year or so he moved on his own. It was a nice two story house with huge spaces to do with them whatever he wanted. Now call me a pussy, but the day he slept there for the first time I wept like a girl. Instead of me being the one to console Bella, she was the one who did. Something was missing but I knew that it was time for him to be on his own.

"Anything I can help with when I get home tomorrow?" I asked and his response was a glare.

 _Okay_ …

"I didn't give you any shit for today so don't provoke me old man," he said. "Uncle Jake called when I was on my way here. He said that they'd stop by from the house tomorrow afternoon, when Jack finishes his shift. They'll bring Trisha as well."

I smiled. Trisha was a gift, an unexpected one but still a gift. Melissa, Jack's sister found herself pregnant a year after Jake moved to Chicago. The pregnancy was perfect but unfortunately, Melissa died from an aneurism while giving birth. Jack was devastated losing his beloved sister. What came as a surprise though was the fact that Melissa, before she died, named Jack and Jake Trisha's Godfathers since she was a product of a one night stand. That precious girl couldn't have found more loving people to raise her that these two.

Will chuckled, bringing out of my thoughts. "I think that Jack called Ma before calling me because she was laughing hysterically. From what I managed to understand Landon lost his shit when he heard that Trish was coming tomorrow because according to Ma, he bolted to his room and started cleaning."

I smirked. "She had him by his balls by the time she was five. Just like you when you first fell in love."

Will smiled nostalgically as he remembered his Juls. Up to date he still called her by her pet name. I would never forget the day I saw him heartbroken on his fifteenth birthday.

_It was Will's birthday today but due to the fact that it was Wednesday, we decided to have his party on Saturday. Bella was working and since I had the day off I spent it at home with the twins and Ma. They were growing up so fast and it was scary._

_We were at the living room when Will arrived. It was obvious that he was upset. He always greeted us and spent time with the boys before heading to his room. I called him but he didn't say a word. He just ran to his room and shut the door. I placed the boys in their playpen and rushed upstairs. His cries could be heard half way up. My heart started running a thousand miles an hour. Within seconds I reached his door and opened it. I found him sitting on the floor crying his heart out._

_I kneeled in front of him and hugged him. I didn't give a shit what had happened. I needed to calm him down first. It didn't help though. It made him cry even more._

" _I'm here kid," I said and kissed the top of his head._

_Several minutes passed until he was able to say anything. "She's leaving dad," he said brokenly._

_I furrowed my eye brows. Who was leaving?_

" _Mr. B gathered the whole school and informed us that a new principal would be taking over and the end of the month. He got an offer for an American College in England and he accepted," he said and started crying all over again. "Julie is going too. She's leaving dad."_

" _Ah Will."_

" _I love her dad and she's leaving. What am I supposed to do? I know I'm too young but I love her," he cried._

" _I know Will," I said with a shaky voice. "But it's not forever. She'll come back and then there is always the summer and holidays. I'm sure she'll come and maybe we can go as well," I continued in a feeble attempt to give him hope. "Then there is always the internet. You can e-mail each other and Skype."_

" _Dad, Mr. B's contract is for six years," he whispered. "And from what Julie said if her parents like it there they might even stay."_

And they did. The day she left my son's heart shattered- she was his first love after all. They managed to see each other only once, a year after they left, when Julie came for a month during the summer and that was it. No matter how much they e-mailed each other or talked it wasn't the same. They fought to keep contact until the little they had towards the end, stopped. Their relationship remained a sweet memory and nothing more.

"Do you think of her?" I asked out of the blue.

"Sometimes," he smiled sadly. "But there is nothing I can do about it now. I have no idea where she is. It would be easy though. I just have to go to Eleazar and ask him but I don't want to."

"Why? You have nothing to lose."

"Dad, do you think that she doesn't have a family already? She's thirty one."

"A lot of women are single in their thirties."

"Not her. I'm pretty sure that some fucker snatched her already."

"Just think about it," I said and smiled at him.

"There's nothing to think about," he said and shook his head.

"You've had a tiring day. Go home." He nodded and got up.

"I love you dad," he said and hugged me.

"Ditto," I said and patted his back.

As he opened the door he turned and looked at me smirking. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

"Apart from being ripped to new one by your Ma, I don't think so," I chuckled. "Why?"

"Because I remember you promising me when I was seventeen, to get matching tattoos," he smiled.

I scratched the back of my neck. Another thing that will piss her off. "I don't know Will."

He snorted. "I have Ma covered. I threw in some bonding shit and she bought it. Besides, you also need to fix that swan shit on your shoulder. Jason said he found a way to fix the black wings."

Will and Jason remained best friends. Much to his father's disappointment he finished Economics but ink was his true passion. When Will turned twenty five he suggested to Jason to be partners in a tattoo shop. With Jason's savings and Will's newly acquired money from Carlisle's will, they opened 'Rising Sun', which with a lot of effort from both of them, became of the best ink shops in Chicago.

"Okay son," I smiled and he left.

I couldn't sleep the rest of the night so I watched TV until it was time for my release. Surprisingly, Bella was one who came to pick me up but as expected she didn't talk to me. Every time I would try to say a word she would either glare or look at her fingernails.

"I-I just wanted it to be done so you could relax when you came home," I mumbled. She huffed and kept driving.

I looked at my watch and saw that we had at least an hour before my 'punishment' came to an end. To others this shit would seem stupid and childish but we didn't like to fight. So we came to a compromise. I would leave the house until we calmed down or she would give me the cold shoulder. But I had missed her so much. That was when it hit me. Bella worked the night shift the day before, so basically we didn't speak. That meant that plus these hours her silent treatment was over almost eight hours ago.

I smirked to myself. She wouldn't even know what hit her. I let her park the car, and by the time she was out, I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder.

"Put me down," she yelled and started hitting my back.

"I'll do no such thing love," I said and slapped her ass.

"Put me down!"

"Sure, give me a minute," I chuckled.

As I was about to open the door, the door opened, revealing a surprised Charlie. "No time to talk Charlie. I'll be with you in a couple of hours."

"You pig," Bella hissed and started hitting me again with her fists.

"Okay son," Charlie laughed and went somewhere in the house.

I started climbing the stairs two at a time. I reached our bedroom, opened the door, closed it with my foot and threw her on the bed with me falling on top of her.

"Uh, uh Bells," I said and placed her hands over her head. "Where do you think you're going? There no escape and you know that." Her chest heaved, and her eyes her blazing with fury. I smiled down at her and licked her lips. "Mmm," I moaned. "Sweet as always."

"Idiot," she said angrily and tried to move.

"I love you too sugar," I smirked and nibbled at her throat. "I missed you; all alone at the hospital, without my soul there."

Bella moaned loudly as I cupped and rubbed her pussy outside of her jeans. She may be forty eight but she never stopped being responsive within seconds. Her body throughout the years had changed, especially after four kids but she was perfect, every man's dreams and only I had her. She lifted her head and tried to kiss me but I pulled my head back.

"Tsk, tsk," I smirked. "Who's the boss in the house Bells?" I whispered.

"I am," she said in a hoarse voice.

"And who's the boss in here?" I asked firmly.

"You are," she cried as I pinched her nipple. "Christ Edward, kiss me!"

"Do you think you deserve it when you knew that my punishment ended eight hours ago and yet you kept punishing me?" I asked.

"W-what?" she stammered as I bit her ear lobe.

"You heard me," I said and pushed my hips on her. "You have been so naughty."

"Edward?" she asked sweetly and I swear I nearly lost it. She knew my buttons as I knew hers.

"Yes, my wife?" I sighed as I kissed the corner of her mouth.

"Don't you love me?" she asked and sniffled.

I shot my head to look at her. How could she even ask that?

"As I live and breathe," I said fiercely. "I can't function without you."

"Then why do you tease me?" she pouted.

I growled. "Do you want me to go all Domward on your ass and fuck the shit out of you?"

"Oh my God! I did not just hear that!" I heard someone yell that running.

"Ah shit," I groaned and my forehead fell on Bella's shoulder.

My girl started laughing hysterically. When the boys were toddlers, both of us decided that sex wasn't a taboo, especially in this house. While kids grew up they knew that when Mommy's and Daddy's bedroom was closed, they wouldn't open it unless they knocked first. By the time they were eleven they knew that having sex wasn't bad especially when you're an adult and love your other half.

"I better go and see if Landon still breathes," I said and kissed her lips.

"Okay," she smiled.

As I reached the door I turned and looked at her. "Oh and Bella?"

"Yes angel?"

"I'm still gonna fuck the shit out of you," I smirked.

"I bet you will," she said and blew me a kiss.

As I was climbing down the stairs I heard my daughter giggle. Jake's booming laughter filled the air and I smiled. Could there ever be a happiest man in the world? More content than I was? Maybe yes, maybe no but it felt I was the only one.

"Amelia, do you want me to inform a certain brother of yours about it? I have no issue in doing so," John said firmly. As I rounded the corner I saw him sweating bullets. "You want to go to the movies? Go ahead but no boys!"

I stopped dead on my tracks. What fucking boys? My baby was going no where near boys. Maybe I should take upon Jasper's advice and send her to a boarding school. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do.

"Daddy!" Trisha called and fell into Jake's hands. "Please tell him to let us go. It'll be only Jeff."

Jake turned and looked Jack. "Jake," Jack sighed. "Don't give me that look."

"Come on Jack. Let her go. They're going to watch penguins dancing for God's sake. What could possibly happen when the room will be practically full with kids and their parents?"

Parents? Dancing penguins? The fuck with it!

"Sure Jack," I said and smirked at my daughter's beaming face. "I haven't seen a movie like that since forever." My girl scowled at me. "It's gonna be fun and the kids are gonna enjoy it."

Jack caught my innuendo at once and smiled evilly. "Okay you can go to the movies and bring the little shit with you as well."

Something I forgot to mention. Throughout the years Ma and Bells gave up on 'chastising' us for using foul word. The kids knew that when they were in school they couldn't swear but once they got in the house, all hell would break loose. The only one that held back was my girl. When she was eight she heard the twins fighting…

" _You're such a dick Eddie," Landon screamed at the top of his lungs._

" _It's not my fault it broke. You tripped, fell on me and I fell on your stupid Lego house," Edward argued._

" _Boys," Will called. "What have we told you about yelling?"_

" _He started it," Landon lied._

_Will glared at him. "Zip it Lan. I know who started it. Apologize to your brother."_

" _He broke my Lego house," he complained. "He should apologize."_

" _He is not the one with two left feet shrimp," Will said firmly. "Apologize."_

_Landon said nothing. He just kept staring Will._

" _Now!" Landon jumped lightly as Will yelled._

"… _ry."_

" _I didn't hear you," Will snapped._

" _I'm sorry," Landon screamed and ran out of the room._

_Edward lowered his head and sniffled. "I'm sorry Will. Were you doing your homework?"_

_Will sighed and hugged him. "Nothing to be sorry for penny. You know that at some point you need to tell him off, right? He shouldn't treat you like that."_

" _He's older so…"_

_Will snorted. "Yeah, like three minutes. Edward, you respect someone that deserves it. When he's calling you names it's not good. Defend yourself bro."_

" _Okay," he said._

_Later that day when we all sat down to eat, no one would talk. Landon's face had a permanent scowl and Edward was pushing his food around his plate. Bella glanced at me and Ma along with Will ate in silence. The boys fought every now and then but it would always come to an end since Edward was the one to let it go._

" _Daddy?" Amelia said._

" _Yes baby girl?" I asked as I shoved down my throat a huge bite of chicken roast."_

" _What's a dick?" she asked and I started choking._

" _Amelia!" Ma and Bella gasped at once._

_Edward turned bright red and Landon vanished without noticing. Will got up and started patting my pack._

" _Where did you hear that word?" Ma asked._

" _Lanie called Eddie a dick," she said and I groaned._

" _Sweetheart," Ma said. "It's a bad word and we can't call people like that. It's rude."_

" _Oh," she said and blushed. "What does it mean mama?"_

_Bella rubbed her forehead and pushed her plate. "It's a bad word honey."_

" _Yes I understand but what does it mean?" she asked stubbornly._

_I folded my hands over my chest and smirked at Bella. She saw it and squinted at me. "Baby, why don't you let daddy explain it you? I'm sure he can find more appropriate words to explain it," she said sweetly and raised her eye brow._

_Well fuck!_

"Daddy," Amelia said. "You suck!" She grabbed Trisha's hand and went upstairs. Jack started laughing and so did I.

Jake shook his head and smiled. "You know that we could always have Emmett Jr. and Chase follow them right?"

"Nah," I said and sat down on the couch. "I want to see the little fucker sweat a little."

"Which fucker is gonna sweat?" Landon asked as he came from the kitchen with a sandwich in his hands. Jake chuckled. My boy was about to have his first heart attack.

"You," I said coolly.

He snorted. "Sure thing… _Domward_ ," he emphasized with a glint in his eyes. "And why is that?"

" _Because,_ " I started, "Tomorrow, I'll be chaperoning Amelia and a boy to the cinema."

"And why should I care? She's a girl. Of course she's gonna go out with boys at some point dad," he answered and took a bit.

Fucking little shit! Why did he have to remind me that?

"Eh, you're right. I should just let Amelia and a boy go by themselves since your Godfathers don't object in Trisha joining them," I said smugly.

_Take that kiddo!_

Landon froze with his mouth hanging open. I could feel Jack shaking lightly beside me and Jake biting his fist. My son's eyes widened a bit and soon he furrowed his eyes brows. He placed the plate on the coffee table and ran upstairs. By the time he was gone all three of us cracked up and started laughing. Was it bad that we laughed on my son's expense? Fuck yes but it was hilarious.

"What do you think he's gonna do?" Jake asked.

"He's going to come with me," I said and smirked.

"Nah," Jack said. "He's not."

"Wanna bet?" I asked.

Landon came down about ten minutes later. "Fucking sisters," he grumbled. Edward happened to be on his way to the kitchen so he heard him and slapped him hard on the back on his head. Within seconds Lan jumped over the couch and started fighting with his brother. And let me tell you something. Having two teenagers with black belts in martial arts wasn't a pretty thing.

"What the fuck?" Will yelled as he grabbed Landon and brought him to his knees.

I grabbed Edward who was seething. "You call Amelia fucking sister again and I'll shut your mouth you fucking bully!"

"I'd like to see you try," Lan snapped.

"Don't threat me asshole or else I'm gonna start singing," Edward threatened and Landon's face paled. "Not so tough now huh?"

"Shut up! Both of you," I yelled. I loved them to pieces but they pissed me off when they started fighting. "You," I said pointing my finger at Landon. "A) Call Amelia that way again and I swear to God I'll put your black belt to same and b) don't you dare raise your hand again against your brother. How many times have I told you that?" I was on a fucking roll. "As for you," I continued and turned my glare to Edward. I regretted it instantly once I saw the shame on his face. "Just," I sighed. "Just try to talk before you attack, okay?"

"Always your favorite," Landon snarled and tried to storm off but Will kept him in place.

"There are no favoritisms in this house," he said firmly. "And of all you people should know that."

Landon snorted. "Sure."

"Do I need to mention what happened a week ago?" Will hissed and Landon paled again. What the fuck did he do? "If it wasn't for our brother I would have rated your ass out to the _rent_ s and trust me it wouldn't have been good so shut the fuck up."

Landon lowered his head and his face was bright red. He must have done something really bad to rile up Will so much. There was no way in hell both of my boys would keep their mouths shut.

"Apologize," Will said.

"I'm sorry," Lan mumbled and once Will released him he grabbed his car keys and left.

As I opened my mouth to ask Will turned to leave. "Not telling you old man. Penny and I have it covered." I turned to Edward and he scratched his head.

"What he said," he mumbled.

"At least tell me that he didn't hurt someone," I said in an almost pleading tone.

"Apart from himself? No," he said and left.

I groaned and sank on the couch, running my hands over my face. Landon was so impulsive sometimes but he never had secrets. He was rational most of the times though. Last year he came to me and asked me to allow him to drink a beer. Will and I started laughing instantly. After we stopped he said that it would be better to drink now one in order to see how it feels to drink than go to a party at some point and get wasted because he didn't know. So what did I do? I caved in because I knew what it meant to pick up teenagers from the road and drive them to their houses just because they got wasted in a party.

"Either he was drinking or smoking pot," Jake said all of a sudden.

I shook my head. "After he got drunk with the beer we gave him, no."

"When did that happen?" Jack asked.

"Last year when you were away to Africa, Lan asked for a beer so I agreed. Will, fetched it for him with a small alteration," I smiled lightly. "The fucker put a shot of Patron in it. It was disgusting but he kept drinking it and it's not pot. My kids don't do drugs and trust me I would have known. Landon is a rugby player and Tae kwon Do athlete. He doesn't so drugs."

"Jesus Edward, we've already promised Trisha to him," Jake laughed.

"Fuck you asshole," I smiled.

**≈ **Ж≈****

Weeks went by easily. I knew the decision I made was the right one. It was time for me to retire. I wanted to enjoy life with my family and to be honest that little thing with the heat stroke made me realize that I needed to do it. I could understand now why Charlie retired at that age. The people I cared about knew my reasoning and that was all that mattered.

"I'm dying," Landon cried dramatically, rubbing his tummy.

I snickered. "It's just a stomach bug Lan. You're not dying."

He glared at me. "Says the expert with the most nearly death experiences."

"That's why I said it," I said and checked his temperature. "It's gone down. Are you hungry?"

"I wouldn't say no to some chicken soup," he mumbled.

"Okay kid."

Landon sat up on his bed and smoothed his comforter. As I got up to go and fetch him the soup, he grabbed my hand. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I don't say it a lot, but you know I love you, right?"

I smiled lazily at him. "I love you too champ."

"Um," he paused. "I need to tell you something," he continued and lowered his head.

"Am I gonna like it?" I asked and sat down again.

"No," he said without looking at me.

I sighed. "What did you do?"

"Remember when I fought with E the other day and Will said something about rating?"

"Yes," I said. Shit it was bad.

"Well you see," he started. "I was with Chase and some guys from school sitting at the park and we were kind of daring each other to do shit," he continued and paused. "So when it was my time they dared me to smoke a cigarette."

I inhaled deeply. Hew knew that I didn't want them to start smoking. I was a bad example since I still smoked and that was the reason I didn't want them. I wasn't smoking as I used to but a would definitely need a packet every other day.

"It sucked but it was a dare you know? I couldn't bail," he said looking briefly at me. "Will and Edward happened to come that moment, walking the dogs, they saw and needless to say that they both ripped me to new one."

_Good!_

I ran my hands through my hair and looked at the floor. I needed to approach this matter with caution. "I'm not happy that you did it. Smoking is bad especially for you since you're into sports Lan," I started. "I know that I'm a bad example but keep in mind that I've been smoking for thirty years and it's not easy for me to quit, you know?"

"I know," he replied and felt him relax a bit.

"Did you like doing it?" I asked and he shook his head.

"It has a foul taste," he said. "And my throat was on fire the following day. Never doing that shit again."

"Good to know," I said and ruffled his hair.

"Dad," he whined. "I'm too old to ruffle my hair."

I chuckled. "You'll never be too old for me to do that. You're my boy."

He smirked and rolled his eyes. "Whatever old man." He may be playing the ' _I'm-too-cool- to-do-this-shit-anymore'_ card but deep down I know he likes it.

I went down the stairs and popped the soup into the microwave to hit. I took out the tray and started placed the utensils in when the front door opened and slammed with force.

"Edward," Bella called frantically. I dropped everything and ran to her.

"What baby? What happened?" I asked.

She was crying. "A-ah, Edward called and asked me to drop everything and come home. He said it was code red." _Code what?_ "He wasn't feeling good and I thought that he caught the bug from Landon but he didn't sound ill. I'm scared Edward. He never does things like that."

"What else did he say?"

"That his car broke down and that he called Rose to have it towed but she said that she was busy. I called her and she said that he hadn't called her. Why would he lie?" she cried. Bella's soft spot was Edward. After she gave birth to him, she paid extra attention to him since he was incubated. She never neglected the other ones though.

"I'm sure there is an explanation sweetheart," I said smoothly. "He'll be here soon and everything will be solved."

"He's gonna be here in an hour or so," she said and wiped her face. "Once his last period ends, one of his teachers will bring him."

I took care of Landon and made sure he didn't need anything and headed back downstairs. Will had just arrived and informed us that he would be going for a shower before heading for work.

"Honey, Nana washed your shirts. When you're done come over and get them," she said and kissed his cheek.

"Will wait," I called. "I'm coming with you." I was gonna have a talk with him and give him a piece of my mind for not telling me about Landon.

We walked quickly to his place and went inside. "Are you out of your goddamned mind?" I snarled once I closed the door.

"What the fuck did I do?" he asked bewildered.

"Landon told me," I hissed.

He sighed. "Tone it down a notch old man," he said and looked at me.

"Tone it down? You had no right not to tell me Will. He was smoking."

"And I said I took care of it! Fuck dad. What did you want me to do? Come like a little girl and tell you 'Hey daddy. I caught Landon smoke. Am I good for telling you?'. I dragged him back to the house gave him shit and then showed him pictures of smokers lungs. End of story."

"It just caught me off guard man," I said truthfully.

"Well thank fuck I saw him first and not you. Your reaction would have been far worse than mine," he said. "Anyway, I need to shower and grab something to eat. I'll see you before work, okay?"

"Okay," I irritated.

As I headed back home, I heard a car turn on our drive way. I started walking faster until I reached it. Edward got out of the car grinning like a Cheshire cat but also the driver who happened to be a striking woman. She was tall, average in weight and had beautiful long light brown hair. Her eyes were brown and had glasses. She wore a white shirt with a black pencil skirt that reached her knees and black high heels.

"Hi Dad," he smiled but instead of answering him I was looking to the woman in front of me who was looking back with wide eyes.

"Oh my God," she breathed and her eyes started to water.

I furrowed my eyes brows and looked at my son. "Dad, why don't we head inside?"

"Aaron?" the woman asked in no more than a whisper. "What's your name?"

 _Aaron?_ We never called him that unless we middle named him when he was in trouble which was rarely.

My son smiled and suddenly the ground became very interesting. He took a deep breath and looked at her. "My name is Edward Aaron Cullen, Miss J."

"Oh my God. Oh my God!" she said and leaned toward her car.

I went to her and grabbed her gently by her elbow. Only then I saw the small pendant that was hanging from her neck. I would have recognized it among thousands. It was the same pendant Will bought sixteen years ago: a thin white gold chain with a small swan dangling from it.

I turned her around and lifted her chin with my finger. "Juls?" She whimpered and nodded. "Sweet Jesus," I said and hugged her. "You were so missed around here," I whispered tenderly in her ear. "You still are."

"I missed you too," she cried.

"Come on sweet girl," I smiled brightly. "Lets go inside."

Juls grabbed her purse and followed us into the house. Bella was into the living room sitting with Landon on the couch, while she smoothed his hair. Once my girl saw our other boy she shot from the couch and rushed to him and started checking him, throwing question after question. When she made sure he was okay she looked at me and then her eyes flicked behind me.

"Ooh, Edward when did you land _that_?" Landon asked and smirked.

"Idiot," Edward said and looked at Juls. "Sorry Miss J. I swear to God that he was born without a mouth filter."

Juls gave him a watery smile. "Don't worry _Edward_ ," she said emphasizing his name, making Edward blush. "I knew once a boy who used to forget about filters sometimes." Edward snickered.

Bella stood there gaping at her, with her hand over her chest. There was no way in hell she didn't recognize her. She approached her- observing her from head to toe.

"Come here," she whispered and opened her arms to Julie. "I've missed you so much." Julie reciprocated her hug and kissed Bella's cheek. "Look at you," Bella praised. "You're gorgeous."

Julie blushed lightly and smiled. "You don't look bad yourself at all."

"Let's sit," Bella said and grabbed her hand. "Tell me everything. How have you been?"

Julie sighed. "Well, as you know we left and went to England. Dad started working in Birmingham right away. I went to school and to be honest I never liked it there; different people, different country. It never felt home. Once I got my degree I had the chance of coming back but my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer so I decided to stay there. I studied English literature and I got a job at the college where my father worked."

"Oh sweetheart," Bella said. "Is your Mom okay now?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "The doctor decided that the best option for her at the moment was to remove the breast and start chemotherapy. She's been cancer free now for nine years now."

"Good," my girl smiled.

"It is indeed. Since there is history the doctor advised me to check up every year just to be sure, so" she paused. "Anyway, four months ago, my Mom expressed her desire to come back home so I started looking for employment options here. Uncle El, called my old school to see if there was a job and the secretary informed him that Mr. Jordan was retiring. Since I had my Bachelor and finished Grad School all I had to do was read for School Leaders Licensure Assessment test."

Bella kissed her cheek. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Julie smiled and looked around. Her gaze stayed on the fireplace and the pictures. "May I?" she asked and pointed there.

"Don't be silly. Go," I said.

She got up and took the first picture she saw. It was from Bella's and my wedding day. She smiled and ran her fingers over it. "You were so beautiful that day," she smiled at us, placed the picture back and picked up one where Will was holding my baby girl hours after she was born. "You had a little girl?" she grinned.

"Yes," Bella said. "Her name is Amelia and she has all my boys wrapped around her little finger. Especially Will," she giggled. "When she turned five, she came from school one day crying her eyes out. Will asked her what happened and she cried that a boy tugged her pony tail and called her ugly. Ever since he's been teaching her Tae Kwon Do just to prevent any 'fucker'" she air quoted the word and rolled her eyes, "…from attacking his baby sister. Not to mention that two times a week my boy and a certain someone take her shooting in the woods," she finished smugly.

I didn't have to know who said it. I instantly glared at Landon making them all laugh.

"Don't look at him, Edward. He didn't do anything," Bella said and patted my thigh. "Do you think I wouldn't notice it? Every Wednesday and Saturday Will and you get up, have breakfast and then take Amelia and leave. Not mention that I am the daughter of an ex Chief so I know since it was something Charlie made sure I know," she finished and pecked my lips.

"Well excuse me from wanting my girl to know how to take care of her self," I grumbled.

"Sure dad," Landon said. "Now can someone explain me who is she?"

"All in time brother," Edward said.

Julie picked up a photo of Will's. It was from the day he finished his police training. She looked at it for several minutes and after that her shoulders started shaking. Bella got up and wrapped her arms around Julie's shoulders, whispering something in her ear. She nodded and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry I cry all the time," she cried. "I just I never thought I'd see you again."

"Its okay hon," Bella said and smiled.

Edward got up and went to the window once he heard the dogs bark. He smiled and turned around. "So how about I tell you what happened today?" he asked. I nodded and he grinned. "I went to school and we were informed that our English teacher was out because she broke her hip," he started and Landon laughed.

"That old hag had it coming."

"Landon Emmett Cullen," Bella exclaimed.

"What Ma? That old…trout flanked me last year all because I told her that I didn't like the way she taught. Ain't my fault," he complained, "I'm way smarter than her."

"I'll show you smart later," she threatened.

"Anyway," Edward rushed once he heard a cabinet closing in the kitchen. This was gonna be interesting. "The replacement informed the secretary that he was out of town and that he would be available to start on Monday. Once Math ended, Mr. Carter said the Principal would come into our class," he continued and pointed at Juls whom she smiled. "We were bumped because it was last period, you know."

A loud smashing sound made us all jump and look up. There stood my son, wearing only his uniforms trousers, looking straight at Julie. She gasped lowly and her eyes once again started to water. My boy stood there looking at her breathing quickly.

"Once she came into class, she introduced herself," Edward continued his narration. Will looked at him briefly and without second thought he took out his phone.

"Claire," he said hoarsely. "It's Cullen. I won't be able to come today," he paused for a second. "A serious family matter arose and I'm needed here. Tell Chief I'm sorry and that I'll call him later," he finished and shut his phone.

Edward started talking again. "Miss J, since she didn't want to mess with Mrs. Henderson's way of teaching, said we'd be doing a different thing. She asked us all to take out our phones and show the class a photo and explain the story behind it. The other kids groaned so she took out her wallet and showed us hers first.

"She told us she was thirty- one years old, _single_ ," he emphasised, "that grew up here in Chicago and that she also used to be a student in the very same school; how she used to be taunted from the other students. She explained that a very bad incident happened once and that a student was hurt badly. They used to share a class together so she decided to go to the hospital and see him. After that day they became very close and how blessed she felt to know him because his courage and kind heart made her see the world differently.

"So imagine my surprise when she showed us the picture. It was a picture of her and my brother's in a wedding reception. Miss J said that it was taken a couple of months before she left for England and how much she missed him ever since. How she hoped she continued to be in touch with him."

Will, not even once, did he take his eyes from her. Bella was crying silently next to me, holding my hand in a fierce grip. Julie made a step forward and Will, as if he woke up from his trance; he was in front of her within seconds, hugging her tightly. No one dared to even breathe. We just stared at them. He pulled back a bit and taking every inch of her face, smiling. He tucked a small loose strand of hair behind her and ran his thumb over her cheek, making her close her eyes.

"Of fuck it," he said and crushed his lips on Julie's.

"All right big bro," Landon cheered and clapped his hands.

I chuckled and watched Will. There was no way he was letting her go again. Julie was my son's Bella; his heart always belonged to her. Will was like his mother and me: he loved only once in his life and that love belonged to her. I won't lie. He used to date but they never reached the point of full commitment. He had a good time but that was it. My son wanted what his mother and I had and now finally he got it.

"God, I've missed you so much," he breathed and hugged her to him.

"I'm so sorry I stopped writing you," she cried. "I got caught up with school work and then I had the foreign language school and guit…" she rumbled but Will cut her off by placing his fingers over her mouth.

"Enough of that. Let's go to my place," he said grabbed her hand and left. "Don't wait on us for dinner," he hollered.

"Show her who's the man bro," Landon called and Bella slapped on the back of his head.

"Your brother is a gentleman," she hissed.

"Yeah, a gentleman who fucks," he teased and within seconds he was gone.

**_**Six months later…** _ **

"By the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bri…"

The minister's words were cut off when Will grabbed Julie by her neck and kissed her passionately. Catcalls and applauses echoed in our yard; at some point I thought I heard the dogs bark from inside the house.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time I present you Mr. and Mrs Cullen," the minister declared and another round of applauses started. Bella squealed next to me and went to the newly wedded couple.

"My baby," she cried and hugged him. "I love you both so much."

"I love you too Ma," he said and kissed the top of her head.

The reception was wonderful; simple and yet elegant. Both Will and Julie wanted something small and romantic. We had a lot of guest so the small wedding they hoped for was impossible. Julie had a big family and Will had his friends; ex-colleagues from the force and important people from the companies, our family and a couple of friends of the twins. Everything was just perfect and I couldn't be happier.

"What are you thinking?" Jake asked startling me.

"How everything happened so quickly," I said and sighed. "I need a cigarette. Are you coming?" I asked.

"Let's go before Jack starts looking for me. He'll have my head," he chuckled.

We walked to the front of the house and sat on the porch's steps. "God this thing is killing," I bitched and started undoing my bow tie. "Monkey suits."

Jake chuckled. "Don't let your Ma or Alice hear you. Here let me help you," he offered and within a second I had the damn thing off of me.

I lit a cigarette and passed the packet to Jake, lighting his own. "How are you holding up?"

"Surprisingly good," I smiled and closed my eyes. "Time flew by so fast man. Sometimes I think that I'll wake up one day and will go back to the day I met him. He changed so much Jake."

"I know what you mean. I may not have a biological kid but I feel the same with Trisha. I dread the day some shit head is gonna take her away from us," he complained.

"Well my baby ain't going anywhere so," I said and shrugged my shoulders. "And don't call my son shit head," I chuckled.

"Oh she will. In less that six month she starts high school and then head off to college and without realizing it, a little shit will come and snatch her right before your eyes," he said and patted my shoulder.

"Fuck you Jake," I glared. "She's too young and lets face it. Amelia wants to follow Will's steps. That won't be happening for the next ten years at least."

"How do you know that?" he chuckled.

"Let's just say that I have my way with my girl. We were at the kiosk yesterday and I asked her if she decided what she wanted to do professionally. She said 'Daddy, I want to help Will. So after I finish high school I'll either go to Economics school or Business school. Once I graduate, I will focus on my career. Besides someone has to bring food to our table,'" I grinned. "My baby is smart and knows what's best for her."

Jake snorted. "If that little fucker called 'love' knocks on her door then there's nothing you could do but suck it up."

We stayed silent for a while and smoked until a vision in lavender came in front of me and started tapping her foot on the ground. I smiled and looked up sheepishly. "Yeah baby?"

"You promised me my first dance and I can't dance with anyone else unless we dance, daddy," she pouted. "Will asked me to dance with him and I said no."

"My God you're so like your mother that it scares me sometimes," I said truthfully. "Don't ever change who you are for no one, sweetheart."

"Silly daddy," she giggled and hugged me. "Come on. I want to dance."

She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the reception. Once we reached the small dance floor, I twirled her around, making her giggle and started dancing. She looked up at me and smiled.

"I have the best partner ever."

I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much baby girl."

"As I love you daddy, even though you make angry sometimes. You'll always be my number one," she said lowly.

And just like that, with one simple sentence, I'm clay in her hands. She could mould me the way she wanted. "Can you do me a tiny favour?"

"Anything," she said and snapped her head to look at me.

"Don't grow up," I said picked up and spun her around. She squealed loudly causing a few heads to turn toward our direction.

"Will you still dance with me like that when I _do_ get older?" she asked.

"Hell yeah," I said. "We could enroll to those shitty dances Nana forced me to go when I was a kid."

She beamed at me. "Really?"

"Sure sugar," I said and winked at her.

We danced a couple of songs and then Will came to take over. He smirked at me when I frowned. "Don't worry old man. You're still her favorite."

I smiled and patted him on his back. "I want her back."

I looked around and found my girl sitting alone, drinking a glass of champagne. When our eyes met she smiled and drank from her glass. I approached her and stretched my hand toward her.

"My lady may I have this dance?" I asked and bowed my head lightly.

"I'd be honored," she giggled and blushed lightly. She was gorgeous.

We started moving slowly in and she placed her head on my chest. I kissed out entwined hands and she looked up. "You've made so happy," I whispered and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Likewise," she smiled. "If someone told me six months ago that our son would get married this day, I would have laughed."

"I know. Everything happened so fast but you know what? He deserved it," I sighed. "She makes him happy so why stall when he knew she was the one?"

"It's weird. He will have his family grown in no time and to be honest I'm not ready to be a Nana," she frowned.

"You're not ready for your baby to have a baby," I chuckled.

She slapped my chest lightly and sniffled. "Sometimes I close my eyes and I think that he will barge into the room, screaming 'Mommy look what I drew for you at school'."

"How about another baby?" I asked her and she snorted.

"Four are enough Angel. Besides I had my tubes tied, remember?"

"Untie them," I teased.

"Dream on love," she giggled.

"Eh, I had to try," I said and winked.

When Marvin's Gaye 'Ain't no mountain' filled the air, Julie whooped and grabbed her father's hands and started dancing. I kissed my wife, twirled her two times and started dancing to the music, making her laugh loudly. I looked at Will who was still dancing with Amelia. Our eyes met and he grinned. 'I love you dad,' he mouthed and my eyes brimmed with tears.

I could have chosen a different path from the one that fate wrote for me but I didn't and I was glad. I had a family that I loved unconditionally, the love of my life in my arms and four wonderful children. I remember once Will telling me that he loved me so much that he would do anything for me. It made me think of Carlisle. I would never be okay with what he did to us but the conclusion is only one: Carlisle and his actions were the reason I became who I was.

I was a man who would kill anyone who would hurt my children; I did _kill_ actually. I became a father that made my children holler how proud they were to have me as a father. I wasn't without faults- believe me I wasn't but I did everything in my power not to repeat my mistakes. Before Will came into my life, I breathed only because I had to. Now I lived for them: my family.

Besides, the prize I got for my fucked up life was so fucking worth every tear I shed, every pain I felt and every lonely night I spent.

**_**The end…** _ **


End file.
